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Luka Magnotta

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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What a low rent hooker looks like

Luka Rocco Magnotta, born Eric Clinton Newman and known as Kirk Newman and Vladimir Romanov (and hundreds of variants), is an washed up Toronto area hooker, with hairplugs and makeup that is applied daily by the ghost of Tammy Faye Bakker. His dream of becoming a porn star was dashed, as nobody cared to view his disappointing MILF videos, and Magnotta quickly realized that the real money was in gay prostitution. By age 27, Magnotta had aged out of twink status, and no longer appealed to his target demographic, so he decided to make a name for himself by uploading videos of himself torturing cats, and using the tongues of the cats as a dick stimulant.

Being the exact definition of an IRL internet tough guy, on December 24, 2009, Magnotta took two kittens, put them in a vacuum bag, and slowly suffocated them while playing John Lennon's Happy Christmas (War Is Over), and used the tongues of the dead kittens to stimulate his penis. In 2010, he taped a cat to a stick and drowned it in a bath tub. Then in 2011 he fed another one alive to his pet python while playing Aladdin's A Whole New World. With the advent of 2012, a new video is expected from Magnotta soon.

Contents

Personal life

Luka, without Photoshop

On July 24, 1982,[1] Magnotta was born Eric Clinton Newman in Toronto, Canada, where his family still lives. In high school, Luka scored 65 on the Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale (WAIS) standardized I.Q. test, which makes him literally retarded. Luka likes to compare himself to Satan, Hitler, and Stalin. In fact, he is nothing at all like these extremely dangerous psychopaths. He can be better compared with Norman Bates, Michael Myers and Hannibal Lecter since they are all fictional geniuses.

With a low I.Q., the voice of a mentally handicapped Canadian, and the weight of a candy cane, Luka Magnotta is a known failure on the go-go boy scene, due to his aged appearance, hairplugs, and poorly drawn on eyebrows. He is known for showing up to events uninvited and gobbling down the drugs like Pac-Man, and for being a cum-dumpster for the AIDS ridden clientele of the strip club circuit.

Magnotta is balding with scars from severe acne.[2] In a last ditch effort to save his remaining career, Luka took all the money he made from sucking cocks on the streets, and used it to get a laser peel and hairplugs. The laser skin peel caused his eyebrows to become patchy, so using the precision of Keith Boadwee, he now paints them on with eyeliner. His hairplugs did not take, so he now wears a toupee attached to what is left of his hair.

Animal abuse

Dead cats About missing Pics

In December of 2010 a video surfaced on the Internet. In the video a young man put two kittens into an airtight bag and proceeded to attach a vacuum cleaner to the bag. He then sucked the air out of the bag until the kittens died.

Over the following weeks another video and pictures surfaced. In the pictures the perpetrator proceeded to simulate sex acts with the dead kittens.

A Facebook group was set up to identify the person in the videos. Through studying EXIF data found within photographs released on the Internet the group were able to determine that the pictures had been taken with a pink colored Panasonic camera (Serial # S D 0 C A 0 0 4 0 3 4 ).

Further information led to the suspect being named as Luka Rocco Magnotta, formerly known as Eric Clinton Newman.

Luka has lived in the Toronto area along with his family since he was a child. We believe he is still in the Toronto area.

A picture of Luka sitting inside a store was taken with an iPhone camera and posted online. The EXIF data on that picture gave the date it was taken and the GPS coordinates, which indicate he was in Toronto on that day.

Months passed and more and more was learned about Luka.

He was a gay escort and had appeared in adult movies.

He had hundreds of You Tube and social media accounts which he used to promote himself and goad those who were investigating the case.

Then on November 28th 2011 a third video was posted on the Internet. This time the video showed an albino Burmese Python feeding on a cat that the perpetrator had given to it.

Days later a 4th video surfaced. This video showed a cat being taped to a broom handle and drowned in a bath.

In the following weeks new pictures, videos and Facebook groups promoting the videos were found.

That is where the investigation is at now. Your help is needed!

Luka is still on the run. He was last known to be in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

Through his internet messages he has indirectly threatened to kill more animals and even progress to humans.

Your help is needed!

If you have any information about the whereabouts of Luka Magnotta please contact The OSPCA 888-668-7722, The Sun Newspaper UK 020 7782 4104, or The RSPCA - UK 0300 1234 999

There is a reward of over $5000 available for information that results in his conviction for these crimes.

We need your help!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/ForGreatJustice/


The reason for this faggotry

lol floppy dong

Magnotta tried to make a name for himself in porn. His porn "career" consists entirely of thirteen garden variety MILF-fuck videos, which were largely overlooked by the porn community. Magnotta, unaware that Wikipedia is really serious about notability, wrote an article on himself, twice.

The first article was deleted by the bureaucracy on January 26, 2008:

 
 
he doesn't seem to be that famous
 

 

WPFavicon.png Dasani

Undaunted, Magnotta recreated the article with a different title, and the deletionists at Wikipedia deleted his article on July 22, 2008:

 
 
he fails human notability criteria
 

 

WPFavicon.png Atyndall93

After limping through thirteen excruciatingly shitty pornos, the series was cancelled due to a typical case of nobody cares. By this time, Magnotta had already moved to Los Angeles, hoping to further his career in porn. His roommate was Timothy Boham, a male prostitute, notable for killing one of his johns. After seeing Boham become famous for killing a man, Magnotta decided to take the pussy road to fame by beginning his cat killing series, because cats can't fight back.

Sockpuppetry

Rule Zero
This section requires expansion.

Magnotta is known all over the internet as a tireless sockpuppeteer. In order to boost his badass image, he has set up dozens of accounts on Facebook and YouTube, among others.

Encyclopedia Dramatica

Magnotta has set up several sockpuppets to edit this very article. At first, he replaced the content with the content of the Jonas Brothers article, and when that didn't work, Magnotta took to adding flattering photographs of himself, and replacing The Truth with shameless self promotion using several socks:

  1. Dogooder2, who replaced the content with the Jonas Brothers article. (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
  2. Hipster5989, who removed lulz, and inserted photos of himself that were Photoshopped to remove the ugly. (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
  3. Elainiak98, the account that inserted the most shameless self promotion. Using this account, Magnotta bragged about torturing the kittens. What caught the mods' attention was when he compared himself our Lord and Master, Satan. (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
  4. A sleeper account that we don't know about, so shhhh.
Wikipedia

Magnotta has not stopped with Encyclopedia Dramatica, however. To further his reputation as a badass, he has also edited the Wikipedia article on Karla Homolka in order to associate his name with the Canadian serial killer. The vandalism exists has been removed as of this writing.

In addition, he has created an article on himself at Wikipedia at least twice. Here are the AfD discussions:

Here are some of the socks who have worked on his now deleted Wikipedia articles:

Other

Videos

The Kittens take revenge on Mangotta
The vacuum cleaner used to murder two kittens
.

Previous Video  |  Next Video

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