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Japan

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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[[Image:crappingoutjapan.jpg|thumb|Origin of Japan, with Korean help.]]
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'''Japan''' (from the Spanish ''japón'', meaning "Hoe-land") is a cheap sex zone in the Pacific Ocean. The #1 export of Japan is [[WTF]] and [[Hentai]]. All their [[Basement-dweller|men]] enjoy guro and the company of their [[whore|obedient women]] and their mothers, who provide room for [[Fap|serious business]].
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Japan is ruled by the evil king of monkeys, a distant relative of [[W|George Bush]]. All the other countries in Asia, despite being disgusting cesspools themselves, hate Japan; but like their filthy whore women, probably because the entire country is coated with porn studios, strip clubs and whorehouses. Japanese culture also states that you must select the prettiest young girls, and turn them into "geishas" (vicious sluts who are supposed to [[sex|entertain]] whoever pays for them).  Japan's current military is 9th strongest in the world, but there are a some bases that are still [[All Your Base Are Belong To Us|used by Americans]]. Japan is a perfect example of [[b|"not-as-good-as-it-used-to-be."]] Before being raped by the atom bomb, Japan was busy doing just that to [[Ireland |inferior countries]], but with a Katana instead of the mighty power of the atom. After the USA's rampage, however, it has degraded into what you see now. Japan loves [[Germany|Germany]] for [[WWII|unknown reasons.]]
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Japs rarely exceed 150cm in height. Most Japs would much rather be white, and some undergo limited ''caucasiaplasty'' to this end. Also, since they [[Pro-Ana|have a very light diet]], the vast majority of Japanese [[wimmins]] have no [[tits]]. The few who have large tits end up as [[whores]], which explains why porn of titted Japs exists. Theoretically, this could be solved with a little whale milk, but since they [[Whale Wars|kill whales]] just to be [[conservative]], they produce a nice duality as an endangered Pacific string bean that's good for nothing and an endangered Pacific tub of lard that's good for nothing.
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[http://kotaku.com/5484581/japan-its-not-funny-anymore An expert describes why Japan is so full of fail(TL;DR).]
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[[Image:Anti-jp.jpg|thumb|Bestselling Sign in Asia.]]
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__TOC__
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==[[World War II]]==
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[[Image:Hiroshima_bomb.jpg|thumb|left|pwnt]]
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[[File:Japanese Woman cuts off Chinese penis.gif|thumb|right|Japanese conducted torture and mass experiments on Chinese during [[World War II]], and their women castrated the entire Chinese male population. Here a Japanese woman cuts off a [[Chinese]] man's [[penis]].]]
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{{quote|It really surprised me that the Japanese sided with the Nazis during World War II. They're usually so polite.}}
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After having [[buttsecks]] with [[Hitler]], Emperor Hirohito sent his troops into Korea to buy Tamagotchis.  The Japanese soldiers proceeded to rape, pillage and [[bukkake]] the Koreans and Chinese to death.
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President Roosevelt sent a telegram to Hirohito requesting [[buttsecks]] too, but due to a mis-translation, the Japanese flew over Pearl Harbour and sunk a few battleships by dropping Toyotas and Pocky from their Gundams.
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Your mother decided it was a good idea to build some bullets and bombs but the United States needed someone to test the bombs on, and who better than a bunch of slopes?  [[Americunts]] considered fighting them hand to hand, but decided Japs weren't even worth the time.  [[true|The nukes were a most practical and efficient way]]. So, Truman pwned the fuck out of Hiroshima on August 6th, 1945. But Tojo wouldn't surrender. To shut Japan the fuck up, Truman [[pwnt|bombed]] [[Shit no one cares about|Nagasaki]] three days later, [[for the lulz]].
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Japan surrendered, and to this day have been the bitch of the [[America|USA]].
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Fun Fact: The Epicness of the bombings would continue to show for years to come as [[over 9000|hundreds of thousands]] of civilians died from horrifying radiation poisoning, hideous mutations and other shit nobody cares about.
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==THe Japanese are and Endangered Species==
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[[Image:Jap_pop_chart.png‎|thumb|100px|The Japanese: an Endangered Species]]
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[[File:Sumo Love.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Why Japs don't have sex]]
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[[Image:Autojerker.jpg|thumb|Also why Japs don't have sex]]
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[[File:1071358018863.jpg|thumb|They literally never have sex]]
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With poetry skills to rival even the most hardened [[emo]], Japan was once the world's foremost macho culture. Big moustaches, leather clothes, manly sex between friends in bath houses -- it was all there.  Nippon is also the land of the Hot Babe. In Japan, the  streets teem with the same seething, supple-limbed female honeys for which the Land of the Rising Sun has always been famous -- ''and each and every one of them longs for a real man to Put It To Her the good old fashioned way''.
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As the Japs opened their country to [[Redundant|British fags]] the Brits wanted to fuck all of the hot women, only to find angry Samurai ready to chop their dicks off for trying. Knowing they could never defeat all the samurai and ninja to get to the hot chicks, Britain released the previously unknown [[GRIDS]] leading to the first Gays being found on the island.
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The British found the Japs nearly impossible to convert to their faggy ways, even with [[GRIDS]] infecting the island. So, they unleashed something even crueler: they jumped into WWII! [[truth|It is a proven fact that the only real men left in Japan were killed in WWII and as a result, the Japanese are not even having enough children to make up for the annual number of deaths: they are an endangered species]] [see chart -- yes, it's for real].
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Now all the men in Japan look like women and [[gay|actively play the part]]. Instead of boning the most fabulous babes on earth and breeding a new generation of ass-whipping samurai, these quasi-men prefer whacking off to cartoon characters, playing with toys, and having hours of gay sex each day. 
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One of the contributing factors of the population decline is that of all of Asians, Japanese men have the smallest [[penises]]. As a result, Japanese girls crave the slightly bigger White cock and are completely submissive to [[White]] men. Yes, even though the Japanese are famously [[racist]] against [http://nsjap.net/ every other race], this need not rule out even the spottiest [[Ginger|Irish]] or fattest American [[Star Trek]] geek.
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The final reason Japs aren't reproducing is that the vast majority are now [[Sick Fuck]] necrophiles that like to kill and rape female corpses and masturbate to girls in thighhigh socks getting strangled their own entrails. Some have argued the sickness of the Japs is a response to radiation from the lulz bombs dropped on them during WW2.  This is false, as they were sick necrophiles before the war. Even Japan knows that [http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2011/01/13/third-of-young-japanese-men-hate-sex/ 1/3 of Japanese men hate sex] and it has always been this way.
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[[Pedophilia]] is not only accepted in Japan, but also mandatory. ''Legally'' the [http://www.ageofconsent.com/japan.htm age of consent in Japan] is 13, but usually it actually happens around the age of six.  As the average Japanese 13 year old looks like a 6 year old of just about any other ethnicity, Japan is a haven for pedophiles around the world. [[At least 100|110%]] of Japanese men are pedophiles. [[CP]] is the primary export of Japan and they plan to spread it across the world. Many students haven open relationships with their teachers and when the Japs heard that Catholic priests were molesting little boys, their response was "We can do better than that." None of this helps the birth rate, however.
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==FFFUUUCHKA YOUU WWAAAHLEEARU !!!!!!!!!==
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:''For more details, see: [[Whale Wars]]''
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[[Image:Japan Australia whaling.jpg|thumb|left|100px|Japan vs Australia in countryball form.]]
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Japan's favorite pastime, other than [[bukkake]], raping corpses, and working until their eyes and brain bleed from not sleeping, is viciously slaying the evil whale and/or dolphin menace. In fact the whole reason behind their space program is so they can be [[Futurama|whalers on the moon]].
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[[Last Thursday]], the [[Australia|Australian]] government asked Japan to stop <s>whaling</s> [[beastiality|harvesting whales for science]] in Australian Antarctic waters, because you should only kill endangered species in your own country.
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[[BAWWW|Being a teeny-tiny bit sensitive to criticism]], Japanese [[JewTube|YouTubers]] and their [[Wapanese|sympathizers]] proceeded to hurl every bizarre insult at Australia that they could think of - in [[Engrish|hilariously broken English]] - through the medium of YouTube comments and [[tl;dw]] videos. It would appear that Australia only cares about animals that look cute - they are [[lolwut|kangaroo-killing hypocrites]], who want to destroy the Japanese culture like they did to the [[Aboriginals]].  This is totally OK.
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How Aussies telling the Japs to GTFO of THEIR waters will stop them is unclear at this point. But much like the Chinese civilians after the last Japanese invasion of China, the Aussies are clearly [[asking for it|asking for a decapitated-neckhole rapin’]].
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Most Aussies won't argue that whaling is better than the Japanese soldiers [[vore|eating]] prisoners of war.  [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_war_crimes#Cannibalism Read all about it!] (Also note how long the list of war-crimes is.)
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==[[Japan Crisis of 2011|Lulzy Earthquakes]]==
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[[Last Thursday]] Japan was hit by a [[Hæti|huge earthquake]] of [[over 9000]] magnitude.  This, of course, is not surprising because Japan is about as prone to natural disasters (magnified by their own [[derp|stupidity]]) as [[Africa]] is to [[AIDS]]. To further the stupidity, they built nuclear reactors close to the shore line. Oh Japan, you so crazy.
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What is surprising, however, is that one of the world's richest nations has completely failed to prepare for this inevitable pwning by GodJesus and as a result, civilised countries like North Korea and Iran must lend the Japanese tree fiddy, so that they can rebuild all the animu studios and child sex shops destroyed by the disaster. 
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The earthquake did however, kill thousands of Japs. This granted those Japs their sexual fantasies and their corpses served as the sex toys for the survivng Japanese. Rumor has it that some of the Japanes are still skull-fucking their bones today.
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[[Image:Nuclear Simpsons.jpg|thumb|right|Where off switch?]]
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[[Image:Japantsunami.jpg|thumb|right|Pwnt by a tsunami minutes after being Pwnt by an earthquake and then getting Pwnt by radiation]]
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==[[Wapanese|Japanophiles]]==
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[[image:Cosplay.jpg|thumb|Every [[cosplay]]er ever]]
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[[Image:Wtf_Japanese_butt_gun.gif|thumb|right|Japanese technology is being adapted to deter rapists and [[Weeaboo]]s]]
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The purest form of [[faggotry]].
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[[Wapanese|Japanophiles]] are [[White|western people]] who love everything to do with Japan, even  the [[creepy]] bits, like the coin-operated panty dispensers and [[ganguro|blackfaced, screeching women]]. They are usually [[fat]] and [[Basement dweller|socially inept]] (male), or fat and [[retard|delusional about their looks]] (female) and can be identified by their ''[[Cowboy Bebop]]''  [[Naruto]] [[lie|is the new coolect animu evar that will still be popular in 100 years!]]) wallscrolls, appreciation for [[J-pop]] and insistence on [[cosplay]]ing. Not to mention walking around the city with a fucking [[Pocky]] sticking out of the mouth. Many [[Wapanese|Japanophiles]] are to be found at Colleges such as Earlham and Oberlin, where they form [[anime]] clubs and dress up like [[furries|gay space elves with fox ears and capes]].
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Japanophilia is not to be confused with [[pedophilia]], as there are several key differences. For example, [[ohbutyouwillpet|pedophiles]] are obsessed with making love to children whereas [[Applemilk1988|Japanophiles]] are obsessed with Anime, writing with chopsticks, [[Bittorrent|downloading gigabytes]] of [[hentai]] and annoying the fuck out of you at parties by [[TL;DR|talking at length]] about their [[Bullshit|interpretation]] of ''[[Neon Genesis Evangelion]]''. Both, however, masturbate over [[Lolicon|pictures of schoolgirls]].
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Japanophiles do not reproduce by [[Secks|conventional means]]; most die as [[virgin]]s and those that do not are usually imprisoned for [[rape]]. Instead, they use the [[internets]] to influence vulnerable teenagers to watch episodes of ''[[Animu|Trigun]]'' before leading them on to the [[Erection|harder]] (and [[Computer Science III|less comprehensible]]) [[Crap|stuff]]. Soon the [[anime]] [[meme]] has infected the poor teen's [[brain]] and he has become a mindless Japanophile too.
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The Japanophile's life cycle can end three ways; either dying an elderly virgin surrounded by small plastic figurines that cost hundreds of dollars each, being raped to death in prison (oh, [[teh]] [[irony]]!) or committing [[Suicide|IRL self-pwnage]] after arriving at Japan and discovering that it's not full of enormously-breasted women who want to sleep with pasty, fat Caucasian lardballs. The [[NOVA|last words]] of the latter Japanophiles are usually "[[Megatokyo]] lied to me..."
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FUN FACT: [[irony|Converse to how Japanophiles dry hump anything to do with Japanese culture, western culture is actually popular among Japanese teenagers]]. Proof of this is displayed with how many Japs dye their hair blonde and speak English.
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==Japanese Language==
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[[Image:Commit Sudoku.png|thumb|400 px|<s>Seppuku</s> SUDOKU!]]
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[[Moonspeak|Japanese]] is a language learned by [[loser|losers]] who claim that they're learning it because they "enjoy Japanese culture" when they're actually enjoying [[Animu|anime]]. For their years of rigorous training, Japanese language teachers get to instruct unmotivated American teenagers in the basics again and again while one half writes ''[[Ouran High School Host Club]]/[[Harry Potter]]''  [[crossover]] [[fanfiction]] in class and the other watches the latest fansubbed ninja fanservice anime on their [[mac|$2,000 laptops]]. Even though a tiny percentage actually finish the course, they have no real use for it other than fansubbing [[anime]] or re-translating a ''[[Final Fantasy]]'' game. [[fail|This is a worthwhile use of their time since American translators are close-minded AmeriKKKans who are unable to understand the elevated cultural value of Japanese children's cartoons]]. As strange as it sounds, the last sentence is not irony.  No, it's just stupid.
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[[Image:Google_Translate_Engrish.png|thumb|341 px|[[Google]] Transrate fails, defaults to [[Engrish]]]]
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In addition to speaking their [[Moonspeak|native tongue]], the Japanese also speak an interesting language called [[Engrish]], which can be seen on many billboards and products.Their writing system consists of over 9000 symbols stolen from China by [[pirates]]; a few simplified ones are used in their alphabet, and naturally took on the appearance of whaling harpoons, katanas and dildos.
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In the video section, please to find a Demo of their so called... ":*(&^%$^ENGRISH^$%^&)*:" It has an accurate subtitle...
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===How to get around in Japan===
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[[Image:Japanese period.jpg|thumb|150px|Japanese Flag]]
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Since we at ED care about your Japanese experience, we've collected some useful Japanese phrases you can use when you meet a Jap!
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*''Boku wa _________'' - My name is ________.
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*''Kyokon wo tabetai'' - I would like to eat some delicious cake.
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*''Sono shimbun wo kaimashita'' - I am not fluent in Japanese, can we speak English?
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*''Kimi no imouto wo reipu shitai'' - Please take a seat over there...
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*''Anime wo mitari, manga wo yondari shitai'' - I want to do things like watch anime and read manga.
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*''DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU'' - I am not a Weaboo, now will you stop looking at me like that?
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*''Chin-chin wo namesaseruzo'' - Problem, officer?
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==How To Troll==
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[[Image:orangebear.jpg|thumb|right|160px|[[Serious business|Yeah]].]]
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[[Image:Japan war crimes.png|150px|thumb|]]
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*Say anything good about Korea, anything at all.
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*Say that Zettai ryouiki is overrated.
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*Tell them how Dokdo and Diaoyu are parts of Korea and China, Iturup, Kunashir, Shikotan are parts of Russia and "Takeshima" & "Senkaku" are just [[pussy]] land grabs.
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*If you're a female, don't wear thigh-high socks, pantyhose, or other hosiery. Japs are like sandniggers and hate uncovered legs. Then they will kill any girl that doesn't and rape her corpse.
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*If you produce hentai, never draw any character wearing thighigh socks, pantyhose, or other hosiery. (WARNING, you might get killed.)
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*Tell them that Hiroshima and Nagasaki were the happiest moments of the HUMAN race. Yes, Japanese are evil monkeys designed by [[Xenu|Xenu]]
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*Tell the Japanese that they are now America's economic bitch despite the fact that they are one of the most wealthy nations in the world. That's what they deserved for trying to over expand their borders during WWII and then getting pwned by Amurika!
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*Spell the Japanese capital with an 'i' instead of a 'y'.
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*Post a picture of a nuclear explosion with the caption "[[pwnd]]".
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*Post a picture of Japanese internment camps with the caption "[[pwnd]]". For more lulz, praise Michelle Malkin's book of Japanese internment.
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*Deliberately confuse them with [[Korea|Koreans]].
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*Talk to them in Korean, and expect them to understand you completely.
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*Call them "Japs", "[[Azn]]", or [[Pokemon|Pokeymanz]].
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*Show 'em this
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<center><youtube>2lDFLLKSkUg</youtube></center>
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<center>'''So [[kawaii]], amirite?'''</center>
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*Tell them that [[Naruto]] is a total fag.
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*Say that you learned Japanese tradition through [[Anime|anime]].
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*Tell them that China can invade at any time.
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*Post a low-res picture of Japan being ejaculated upon by multiple high-res penises.
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*Mention that they come from Korea and everything in their culture is Korean.
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*Tell them that they originate in Southeast Asia.
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*Then tell them what retards they are for going all "dumbshit fantard" over some shitty Jpop singer for no other reason than that he's Japanese.
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*Insult their necrophilia and guro fetishes.
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*Tell them that there is no such thing as a pure Japanese.
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*Tell them that they came from [[Jews|the Jews]]
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*Tell them you like Godzilla
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*[[???]]
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*[[PROFIT!]]
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==Brutally True Facts==
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[[File:Meanwhile in Japan.png|thumb|right|One of the most popular [[sport]]s in Japan.]]
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[[File:Horyshit.jpg|thumb|right|Japanese man at work]]
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*All Male Japanese are either [[drag queens]] or [[transexuals]] or [[80 year old Chinese man in panties|perverted old]] basement dwellers who sell hentai doujins.
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*All male Japanese are beta as fuck.
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*All Female Japanese [[Cockmongler|love great white cock]].
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*Japan is known for its [[capitalist]]ic ways. In fact, a Jap will do just about anything for a few bucks, including loving you long time for $10 <s>(that's [[Vietnam]] dumbass)</s> (they'll do it too, faggot). If they refuse, threaten to nuke them. That always works.
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*In [[Alternative Medicine|Japanese medicine]], all drugs and most cures are [[in the ass|suppositories]].
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* [[4chan]] was inspired by a Japanese imageboard
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*Japanese are just like [[christians]], and they will get butthurt if they find out you're not Japanese. If so, threaten to nuke them a third time.
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*All Japanese people are necrophiles and guro-fetishists. This expains why they obsess over some [[Puella Magi Madoka Magica|magical girl getting her head eaten off]]. As they used to say during World War 2, "Dead girls and gore make a Jappy's fappy happy!"
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*Japanese love Americans when comparing other Asians, but hate weeaboos. Yet they hate Americans for the two [[epic]] bombs that they dropped on two shitty villages that started a chain of faggotry in Japan. Basically these two-faced, double-standard bitches hate everyone.
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*Japanese think their religion is [[J-pop|Ayumi Hamasaki]] cause there's truly no other way to explain [http://tokyofashion.com/ayumi-hamasaki-fan-cars-in-tokyo/ this.]
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*Japanese eat shit. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nl9x8412W2U Srsly]. [[Some argue|Some believe]] this is a result of the radioactive materials that have been released since the Japan Crisis of 2011.
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<center>{{frame|{{fv|nippon|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
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|<center>'''Behold the [[FUCK YEAH SEAKING|glorious]] [[Sick Fuck|President]] of Japan''!''' </center><youtube>pOuumGX-6uc</youtube>
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|<center>'''Japanese Pastime.'''</center><youtube>7G46YMyQjBY</youtube>
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|<center>'''Japan's traditional sport.'''</center><youtube>yGvJZpkO3J8</youtube>
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|<center>'''Another Japanese invention'''</center><br/><youtube>7_p0qAIuHdE</youtube>
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|<center>'''A true American hero'''</center><br/><youtube>vidDHQ_66IU</youtube>
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|<center>'''Japan can be [[Awesome|awesome]] sometimes.'''</center><youtube>4ua64HbsBUo</youtube>
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}}|border=lightgray|background=white}}</center>
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== Gallery ==
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{{cg||japangallery|center|<gallery>
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Image:japan.jpg
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Image:JAPAN.gif
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Image:Whale_furry_nippon.jpg| The Japs disrespect whales in [[rape|more ways]] than one.
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Image:wtfjapan.jpg|Most popular product in Japan.
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File:FA-Godzilla.jpg|Alternate Japanese National Symbol
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File:Jap girl covered in shit public 1.jpg|In Japan the latest fashion, walking around covered in shit.
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File:Jap girl covered in shit public 2.jpg|As you can see the fashion is popular amongst the young.
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Image:Dongs france vs usa vs japan.jpg|[[lie|Of course French guys have larger dicks than Americunts]]. [[butthurt|Too bad America STILL won the war.]] Also, [[fact|Frenchie likes German cock up the ass.]]
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</gallery>|<gallery>
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Image:Japnazi.gif|What Japan's flag looks like when a [[black]] light is shone on it.
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Image:Coat of arms of japan.jpg|Coat of arms of Japan.
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image:Jap_dad-dead_baby_manta_ray.jpg|[[engrish|YOU BLING GLATE DISHONOL ON OUR FAMIRY YOU MUST BE PUNISHED]]
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Image:Pantynomnom.jpg|Japan superior
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Image:Fuckingjapanese.gif|Bananas? In my sanity?
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image:Flamethrowersandjaps.jpg|Jewtubers speak the truth.
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Image:Aishinozaki.jpg|Ai Shinozaki -- a typical Japanese girl. Apparent age: 20. Actual age (as of 2009): 17
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Image:wtfjapan2.jpg| [[Michael Jackson]] Owned one of these.
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Image:Wapanese.gif
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Image:Japs Keep Moving.jpg|The proper way to greet a Japanese family moving into your area.
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Image:Chop-suey-glasses.jpg|You too can be Japanese with these glasses.
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Image:nicetomeetyou.jpg|It's like saying [[hentai|hello]] in Japanese.
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Image:Akihabara Rail Mechanophilia.jpg|What, no [[Shota]]?
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Image:Toastfucking.jpg|Have a piece of that bread bitch.
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Image:Nuke Explode.jpg
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Image:japansex.jpg
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Image:Japan most advanced race.jpg
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Image:Hiroshima bomb.jpg|Fucking deserved it too.
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Image:JapaneseUsedPantyVendingMachine.jpg|[[Sick Fuck|Japanese Used-Panty Vending Machine]]
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Image:Bikinicaca.jpg|Nothing is quite as satisfying as shitting one's bikini.
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Image:danglegirl.jpg|[[shibari|String them up!]]
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Image:Rapetastik.png|[[Rape]]- in Japan, it's like saying hello!
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Image:Analbukkake.jpg|Japan [[censorship|censors]] [[penis|harbl]] because it hates [[faggotry]].
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Image:Japanese_watermelon.jpg|Japanese love <s>weird</s> fucking watermelons.
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Image:Smackjaps.jpg
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Image:US according to Japan.jpg|A typical example of how Japan views foreign nations.
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Image:wtf1111.gif|Little-known Fact: Little Red Riding Hood was Japanese and partial to the nutz.
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Image:Japanese_pastime.jpg|One of Japan's many engaging pastimes.
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Image:Japanpokemonpedofags.jpg|Japs have small penis and pedos love it!
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Image:Nyotaimori.jpg|Typical Japanese dinner.
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Image:Aichoaniki-2.png|Typical Japanese [[video game]] design.
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Image:Undersea_cables.jpg|Japan breaks the intrawebs.
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Image:Weeabo wet dream.jpg|
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Image:DatingGirls.jpg|Japanese girls accepts your date
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Image:Fugakutakoika.jpg|Is it paradise?
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Image:Vomit1.jpg|How the Japanese reproduce.
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Image:Hellsyeah0wo.gif|[[fake|Reminds me of your mother's tits.]]
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Image:Japanstache.gif|This is why people don't play the DS
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Image:Nazi teardrops.JPG|Japanese [[Shimajiro|toilet training]]
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Image:Japanesechristmas.jpg|Typical Japanese X-Mas Present
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Image:Japanese man ROR.jpg|GRORIOUS NIPPON STRONG SUPA POWAH
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Image:Eggloaf.jpg|[[Milk bags|In Japan, eggs come in loaves.]]
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Image:O_rry.jpg |[[O RLY?|O RLY?]] [[Engrish|ASIAN STYLE!]]
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file:Ironchef chairman kaga eating capsicum.jpg|The Immortal Emperor of Japan.
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Image:SlaptheJap.jpeg|Remember Pearl Harbor.
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Image:Japan reasontogothere.jpg|Japan is full of sick fucks.
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Image:Yay_Hiroshima1945.jpg|Somebody set us up the bomb!
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Image:Yay_Nagasaki1945.jpg|OMG! Somebody set us up the bomb too!
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Image:TypicalAnimeFanatic.jpg|Typical anime fan
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Image:Exciting35.jpg|Best way to kill them is with [[WRY|their own technique.]]
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Image:Japmarine.jpg|To scale.
 +
Image:GigaOmorashi.jpg|Typical Japanese girls
 +
Image:JapanWeird.jpg|O RLY?
 +
Image:Sumo-fighters.JPG|GET IN MY BELLY!
 +
Image:Azn mans pasttime.jpg|How Japanese men spend their time.
 +
Image:Sumo-911.jpg|[[Jews did WTC|Japan did WTC]]
 +
Image:Eiffel Tower.jpg|Japan has the Eiffel Tower.
 +
Image:Jap lolis.jpg|"But I poop from there!"
 +
Image:Boob machine.jpg
 +
File:200px-akira.gif|[[Simpsons|Akira my man!]]
 +
File:Japanese six pack.jpg|A six-pack in Japan where it doesn't just give you liver problems but also lung cancer.
 +
Image:Gay japanese Vegetable juice.jpg|Typical Japanese commercial featuring a gay man masturbating using a vegetable juice bottle in his pants. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0-2lzA7_Cg I'm not kidding.]
 +
File:Emos per country.jpg|So vewy vewy ronery!
 +
File:Kawaiidesu.jpg|Kawaii japanese girl.
 +
File:Rilakkuma.jpg|Kawaii products from Japan!~
 +
Image:Weirdc.jpg|First step in learning Japanese.
 +
Image:64nowayisthisreal1.jpg| [[KILL IT WITH FIRE|Kill it with fire?]]
 +
File:Roflbot-FridayTsunami.jpg
 +
Image:Loljapan.jpg|PANTSUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
 +
</gallery>|}}
 +
 
 +
==[[World War II]] velly funny neh? [[ROFL|ROTFL]]==
 +
<center><youtube>oBudU8BiQw4</youtube></center>
 +
<center>'''Shit, Japan needs some better history teachers.'''</center>
 +
 
 +
{{cg||WWIIgal|center|<gallery>
 +
Image:Japnazi.gif|Flag of Japan with a [[rave|blacklight]] shining on it
 +
Image:Hitler kawaii.jpg|Hitler is SO kawaii!
 +
Image:Roseanne hitler.jpg
 +
Image:Ww2cosplay5.jpg‎
 +
</gallery>|<gallery>
 +
Image:Ww2cosplay4.jpg‎
 +
Image:Ww2cosplay2.jpg‎
 +
Image:Ww2cosplay3.jpg‎
 +
Image:Ww2cosplay.jpg‎
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Image:Ww2toon6.jpg‎
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Image:Ww2toon5.jpg‎
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Image:Ww2toon4.jpg‎
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Image:Ww2toon3.jpg‎
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Image:Ww2toon2.jpg‎
 +
Image:Ww2toon1.jpg‎</gallery>|}}
 +
 
 +
== See Also ==
 +
[[Image:Japantrap.jpg|thumb|Typical Japanese couple.]]
 +
* [[Ganguro]]
 +
* [[Animé]]
 +
* [[Awwright]]
 +
* [[Suicide#切腹 & 腹切 for the オタク|Hari kari]]
 +
* [[Babyfuck]]
 +
* [[Bukkake]]
 +
* [[Chuoside]]
 +
* [[Guro]]
 +
* [[Domo-kun]]
 +
* [[Jimbo's Japan Tour, 2007]]
 +
* [[Shimajiro]]
 +
* [[Big Daikon]]
 +
* [[Kato]]
 +
* [[Japanese Bug Fights]]
 +
*[[Sick Fuck]]
 +
* [[Weeaboo]]
 +
* [[I LIEK MILK]]
 +
*[[Whale Wars]]
 +
 
 +
== External Links ==
 +
[[Image:Mana from Malice Mizer.jpg|thumb|The ideal Japanese "man", 2009]]
 +
* [[Wikipedia:Unit_731|'''Proof''' that the Japanese were sick fucks during WWII]].
 +
* [http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/3699516.stm Japanese women get boyfriend pillow]
 +
* [http://wackyjapanese.pandemonium.de/page/12/ Fucked-up Japanese Stuff]
 +
* [http://www.toxel.com/tech/2009/06/08/14-cool-vending-machines-from-japan/ Strange technologies.]
 +
* [http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4092345.stm Japanese men get pussy pillow]
 +
* [http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSSP10422420070718 Japanese men turn to sex dolls]
 +
* [http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3q1y6_japanese-english-learning-diarrhea_fun Japanese women get diarrhea]
 +
* [http://www.demonbaby.com/blog/2005/08/curiosities-from-japans-porno-shops.html Typical Japanese toys]
 +
* [http://www.demonbaby.com/blog/2007/06/more-curiosities-from-japans-porno.html Moar Japanese toys]
 +
* [http://www.pornhost.com/7616302885/ Furries and a clown raping a crying Japanese girl while their privates are blurred out. Only in Japan...]
 +
* [http://www.ep.tc/howtospotajap/ How to spot a Jap]
 +
* [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1137747/Mini-Me-The-robot-doll-looks-sounds-just-like-you.html Get a Japanese pedo doll made...of your likeness!]
 +
* [http://efukt.com/2292_Unwanted_Public_Facials_3.html| Jerking off on women in public. Oh, Japan, you so crazy.]
 +
* [http://www.japantoday.com/category/arts-culture/view/why-the-japanese-are-superior-people Why the Japanese Are a Superior People]
 +
 
 +
==Video Links==
 +
[[Image:Kamikaz_jap.png|thumb|right|Japs can be downright scary sometimes this is evident especially during [[WWII]].]]
 +
* {{youtube|zG4L3_rrQjo|Japanese Music}}
 +
* {{youtube|tzOWMGfpMXM|Oh hell na, did that bitch for real say nigga?}}
 +
* {{youtube|yi7YU42TQn4|Typical Day For The Average Japfag}}
 +
* {{youtube|n3Jr9YtQ0Vg|Even Popeye hates those sneaky Japs}}
 +
* {{youtube|lSEuMumOv0M|A typical Japanese commercial}}
 +
* {{youtube|mOrZX2858e8|Proof of Japan's great grammar = Miso Soup - with accurate subtitles...}}
 +
* [http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=8d52a769e640ab7fee93 A day with a Japanese girl.]
 +
* [http://www.pornotube.com/media.php?m=32561 What the Americans came up with in response to weird Japanese porn]
 +
* [http://www.redtube.com/5583 Just another day in Japan]
 +
* http://www.sardouzami.com/goonagoon/rooze%20kir/national%20penis%20dag.htm
 +
<br>
 +
{{japan}}
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<br>
 +
{{race}}
 +
<br>
 +
{{azn}}
 +
<br>
 +
{{Hentai}}
 +
{{Commonwealth}}
 +
[[Category: Locations]]

Revision as of 23:44, 5 May 2012

Origin of Japan, with Korean help.

Japan (from the Spanish japón, meaning "Hoe-land") is a cheap sex zone in the Pacific Ocean. The #1 export of Japan is WTF and Hentai. All their men enjoy guro and the company of their obedient women and their mothers, who provide room for serious business.

Japan is ruled by the evil king of monkeys, a distant relative of George Bush. All the other countries in Asia, despite being disgusting cesspools themselves, hate Japan; but like their filthy whore women, probably because the entire country is coated with porn studios, strip clubs and whorehouses. Japanese culture also states that you must select the prettiest young girls, and turn them into "geishas" (vicious sluts who are supposed to entertain whoever pays for them). Japan's current military is 9th strongest in the world, but there are a some bases that are still used by Americans. Japan is a perfect example of "not-as-good-as-it-used-to-be." Before being raped by the atom bomb, Japan was busy doing just that to inferior countries, but with a Katana instead of the mighty power of the atom. After the USA's rampage, however, it has degraded into what you see now. Japan loves Germany for unknown reasons.

Japs rarely exceed 150cm in height. Most Japs would much rather be white, and some undergo limited caucasiaplasty to this end. Also, since they have a very light diet, the vast majority of Japanese wimmins have no tits. The few who have large tits end up as whores, which explains why porn of titted Japs exists. Theoretically, this could be solved with a little whale milk, but since they kill whales just to be conservative, they produce a nice duality as an endangered Pacific string bean that's good for nothing and an endangered Pacific tub of lard that's good for nothing.

An expert describes why Japan is so full of fail(TL;DR).

Bestselling Sign in Asia.

Contents


World War II

pwnt
Japanese conducted torture and mass experiments on Chinese during World War II, and their women castrated the entire Chinese male population. Here a Japanese woman cuts off a Chinese man's penis.
 
 
It really surprised me that the Japanese sided with the Nazis during World War II. They're usually so polite.
 

 

After having buttsecks with Hitler, Emperor Hirohito sent his troops into Korea to buy Tamagotchis. The Japanese soldiers proceeded to rape, pillage and bukkake the Koreans and Chinese to death.

President Roosevelt sent a telegram to Hirohito requesting buttsecks too, but due to a mis-translation, the Japanese flew over Pearl Harbour and sunk a few battleships by dropping Toyotas and Pocky from their Gundams.

Your mother decided it was a good idea to build some bullets and bombs but the United States needed someone to test the bombs on, and who better than a bunch of slopes? Americunts considered fighting them hand to hand, but decided Japs weren't even worth the time. The nukes were a most practical and efficient way. So, Truman pwned the fuck out of Hiroshima on August 6th, 1945. But Tojo wouldn't surrender. To shut Japan the fuck up, Truman bombed Nagasaki three days later, for the lulz.

Japan surrendered, and to this day have been the bitch of the USA.

Fun Fact: The Epicness of the bombings would continue to show for years to come as hundreds of thousands of civilians died from horrifying radiation poisoning, hideous mutations and other shit nobody cares about.

THe Japanese are and Endangered Species

The Japanese: an Endangered Species
Why Japs don't have sex
Also why Japs don't have sex
They literally never have sex

With poetry skills to rival even the most hardened emo, Japan was once the world's foremost macho culture. Big moustaches, leather clothes, manly sex between friends in bath houses -- it was all there. Nippon is also the land of the Hot Babe. In Japan, the streets teem with the same seething, supple-limbed female honeys for which the Land of the Rising Sun has always been famous -- and each and every one of them longs for a real man to Put It To Her the good old fashioned way.

As the Japs opened their country to British fags the Brits wanted to fuck all of the hot women, only to find angry Samurai ready to chop their dicks off for trying. Knowing they could never defeat all the samurai and ninja to get to the hot chicks, Britain released the previously unknown GRIDS leading to the first Gays being found on the island.

The British found the Japs nearly impossible to convert to their faggy ways, even with GRIDS infecting the island. So, they unleashed something even crueler: they jumped into WWII! It is a proven fact that the only real men left in Japan were killed in WWII and as a result, the Japanese are not even having enough children to make up for the annual number of deaths: they are an endangered species [see chart -- yes, it's for real].

Now all the men in Japan look like women and actively play the part. Instead of boning the most fabulous babes on earth and breeding a new generation of ass-whipping samurai, these quasi-men prefer whacking off to cartoon characters, playing with toys, and having hours of gay sex each day.

One of the contributing factors of the population decline is that of all of Asians, Japanese men have the smallest penises. As a result, Japanese girls crave the slightly bigger White cock and are completely submissive to White men. Yes, even though the Japanese are famously racist against every other race, this need not rule out even the spottiest Irish or fattest American Star Trek geek.


The final reason Japs aren't reproducing is that the vast majority are now Sick Fuck necrophiles that like to kill and rape female corpses and masturbate to girls in thighhigh socks getting strangled their own entrails. Some have argued the sickness of the Japs is a response to radiation from the lulz bombs dropped on them during WW2. This is false, as they were sick necrophiles before the war. Even Japan knows that 1/3 of Japanese men hate sex and it has always been this way.

Pedophilia is not only accepted in Japan, but also mandatory. Legally the age of consent in Japan is 13, but usually it actually happens around the age of six. As the average Japanese 13 year old looks like a 6 year old of just about any other ethnicity, Japan is a haven for pedophiles around the world. 110% of Japanese men are pedophiles. CP is the primary export of Japan and they plan to spread it across the world. Many students haven open relationships with their teachers and when the Japs heard that Catholic priests were molesting little boys, their response was "We can do better than that." None of this helps the birth rate, however.

FFFUUUCHKA YOUU WWAAAHLEEARU !!!!!!!!!

For more details, see: Whale Wars
Japan vs Australia in countryball form.

Japan's favorite pastime, other than bukkake, raping corpses, and working until their eyes and brain bleed from not sleeping, is viciously slaying the evil whale and/or dolphin menace. In fact the whole reason behind their space program is so they can be whalers on the moon.

Last Thursday, the Australian government asked Japan to stop whaling harvesting whales for science in Australian Antarctic waters, because you should only kill endangered species in your own country.

Being a teeny-tiny bit sensitive to criticism, Japanese YouTubers and their sympathizers proceeded to hurl every bizarre insult at Australia that they could think of - in hilariously broken English - through the medium of YouTube comments and tl;dw videos. It would appear that Australia only cares about animals that look cute - they are kangaroo-killing hypocrites, who want to destroy the Japanese culture like they did to the Aboriginals. This is totally OK.

How Aussies telling the Japs to GTFO of THEIR waters will stop them is unclear at this point. But much like the Chinese civilians after the last Japanese invasion of China, the Aussies are clearly asking for a decapitated-neckhole rapin’.

Most Aussies won't argue that whaling is better than the Japanese soldiers eating prisoners of war. Read all about it! (Also note how long the list of war-crimes is.)

Lulzy Earthquakes

Last Thursday Japan was hit by a huge earthquake of over 9000 magnitude. This, of course, is not surprising because Japan is about as prone to natural disasters (magnified by their own stupidity) as Africa is to AIDS. To further the stupidity, they built nuclear reactors close to the shore line. Oh Japan, you so crazy.

What is surprising, however, is that one of the world's richest nations has completely failed to prepare for this inevitable pwning by GodJesus and as a result, civilised countries like North Korea and Iran must lend the Japanese tree fiddy, so that they can rebuild all the animu studios and child sex shops destroyed by the disaster.

The earthquake did however, kill thousands of Japs. This granted those Japs their sexual fantasies and their corpses served as the sex toys for the survivng Japanese. Rumor has it that some of the Japanes are still skull-fucking their bones today.

Where off switch?
Pwnt by a tsunami minutes after being Pwnt by an earthquake and then getting Pwnt by radiation

Japanophiles

Every cosplayer ever
Japanese technology is being adapted to deter rapists and Weeaboos

The purest form of faggotry.

Japanophiles are western people who love everything to do with Japan, even the creepy bits, like the coin-operated panty dispensers and blackfaced, screeching women. They are usually fat and socially inept (male), or fat and delusional about their looks (female) and can be identified by their Cowboy Bebop Naruto is the new coolect animu evar that will still be popular in 100 years!) wallscrolls, appreciation for J-pop and insistence on cosplaying. Not to mention walking around the city with a fucking Pocky sticking out of the mouth. Many Japanophiles are to be found at Colleges such as Earlham and Oberlin, where they form anime clubs and dress up like gay space elves with fox ears and capes.

Japanophilia is not to be confused with pedophilia, as there are several key differences. For example, pedophiles are obsessed with making love to children whereas Japanophiles are obsessed with Anime, writing with chopsticks, downloading gigabytes of hentai and annoying the fuck out of you at parties by talking at length about their interpretation of Neon Genesis Evangelion. Both, however, masturbate over pictures of schoolgirls.

Japanophiles do not reproduce by conventional means; most die as virgins and those that do not are usually imprisoned for rape. Instead, they use the internets to influence vulnerable teenagers to watch episodes of Trigun before leading them on to the harder (and less comprehensible) stuff. Soon the anime meme has infected the poor teen's brain and he has become a mindless Japanophile too.

The Japanophile's life cycle can end three ways; either dying an elderly virgin surrounded by small plastic figurines that cost hundreds of dollars each, being raped to death in prison (oh, teh irony!) or committing IRL self-pwnage after arriving at Japan and discovering that it's not full of enormously-breasted women who want to sleep with pasty, fat Caucasian lardballs. The last words of the latter Japanophiles are usually "Megatokyo lied to me..."

FUN FACT: Converse to how Japanophiles dry hump anything to do with Japanese culture, western culture is actually popular among Japanese teenagers. Proof of this is displayed with how many Japs dye their hair blonde and speak English.

Japanese Language

Seppuku SUDOKU!

Japanese is a language learned by losers who claim that they're learning it because they "enjoy Japanese culture" when they're actually enjoying anime. For their years of rigorous training, Japanese language teachers get to instruct unmotivated American teenagers in the basics again and again while one half writes Ouran High School Host Club/Harry Potter crossover fanfiction in class and the other watches the latest fansubbed ninja fanservice anime on their $2,000 laptops. Even though a tiny percentage actually finish the course, they have no real use for it other than fansubbing anime or re-translating a Final Fantasy game. This is a worthwhile use of their time since American translators are close-minded AmeriKKKans who are unable to understand the elevated cultural value of Japanese children's cartoons. As strange as it sounds, the last sentence is not irony. No, it's just stupid.

Google Transrate fails, defaults to Engrish

In addition to speaking their native tongue, the Japanese also speak an interesting language called Engrish, which can be seen on many billboards and products.Their writing system consists of over 9000 symbols stolen from China by pirates; a few simplified ones are used in their alphabet, and naturally took on the appearance of whaling harpoons, katanas and dildos.

In the video section, please to find a Demo of their so called... ":*(&^%$^ENGRISH^$%^&)*:" It has an accurate subtitle...

How to get around in Japan

Japanese Flag

Since we at ED care about your Japanese experience, we've collected some useful Japanese phrases you can use when you meet a Jap!

  • Boku wa _________ - My name is ________.
  • Kyokon wo tabetai - I would like to eat some delicious cake.
  • Sono shimbun wo kaimashita - I am not fluent in Japanese, can we speak English?
  • Kimi no imouto wo reipu shitai - Please take a seat over there...
  • Anime wo mitari, manga wo yondari shitai - I want to do things like watch anime and read manga.
  • DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU - I am not a Weaboo, now will you stop looking at me like that?
  • Chin-chin wo namesaseruzo - Problem, officer?

How To Troll

  • Say anything good about Korea, anything at all.
  • Say that Zettai ryouiki is overrated.
  • Tell them how Dokdo and Diaoyu are parts of Korea and China, Iturup, Kunashir, Shikotan are parts of Russia and "Takeshima" & "Senkaku" are just pussy land grabs.
  • If you're a female, don't wear thigh-high socks, pantyhose, or other hosiery. Japs are like sandniggers and hate uncovered legs. Then they will kill any girl that doesn't and rape her corpse.
  • If you produce hentai, never draw any character wearing thighigh socks, pantyhose, or other hosiery. (WARNING, you might get killed.)
  • Tell them that Hiroshima and Nagasaki were the happiest moments of the HUMAN race. Yes, Japanese are evil monkeys designed by Xenu
  • Tell the Japanese that they are now America's economic bitch despite the fact that they are one of the most wealthy nations in the world. That's what they deserved for trying to over expand their borders during WWII and then getting pwned by Amurika!
  • Spell the Japanese capital with an 'i' instead of a 'y'.
  • Post a picture of a nuclear explosion with the caption "pwnd".
  • Post a picture of Japanese internment camps with the caption "pwnd". For more lulz, praise Michelle Malkin's book of Japanese internment.
  • Deliberately confuse them with Koreans.
  • Talk to them in Korean, and expect them to understand you completely.
  • Call them "Japs", "Azn", or Pokeymanz.
  • Show 'em this
So kawaii, amirite?
  • Tell them that Naruto is a total fag.
  • Say that you learned Japanese tradition through anime.
  • Tell them that China can invade at any time.
  • Post a low-res picture of Japan being ejaculated upon by multiple high-res penises.
  • Mention that they come from Korea and everything in their culture is Korean.
  • Tell them that they originate in Southeast Asia.
  • Then tell them what retards they are for going all "dumbshit fantard" over some shitty Jpop singer for no other reason than that he's Japanese.
  • Insult their necrophilia and guro fetishes.
  • Tell them that there is no such thing as a pure Japanese.
  • Tell them that they came from the Jews
  • Tell them you like Godzilla
  • ???
  • PROFIT!

Brutally True Facts

One of the most popular sports in Japan.
Japanese man at work
  • All Male Japanese are either drag queens or transexuals or perverted old basement dwellers who sell hentai doujins.
  • All male Japanese are beta as fuck.
  • All Female Japanese love great white cock.
  • Japan is known for its capitalistic ways. In fact, a Jap will do just about anything for a few bucks, including loving you long time for $10 (that's Vietnam dumbass) (they'll do it too, faggot). If they refuse, threaten to nuke them. That always works.
  • In Japanese medicine, all drugs and most cures are suppositories.
  • 4chan was inspired by a Japanese imageboard
  • Japanese are just like christians, and they will get butthurt if they find out you're not Japanese. If so, threaten to nuke them a third time.
  • All Japanese people are necrophiles and guro-fetishists. This expains why they obsess over some magical girl getting her head eaten off. As they used to say during World War 2, "Dead girls and gore make a Jappy's fappy happy!"
  • Japanese love Americans when comparing other Asians, but hate weeaboos. Yet they hate Americans for the two epic bombs that they dropped on two shitty villages that started a chain of faggotry in Japan. Basically these two-faced, double-standard bitches hate everyone.
  • Japanese think their religion is Ayumi Hamasaki cause there's truly no other way to explain this.
  • Japanese eat shit. Srsly. Some believe this is a result of the radioactive materials that have been released since the Japan Crisis of 2011.
Behold the glorious President of Japan!
Japanese Pastime.
Japan's traditional sport.
Another Japanese invention

A true American hero

Japan can be awesome sometimes.

Previous Video  |  Next Video

Gallery

About missing Pics

World War II velly funny neh? ROTFL

Shit, Japan needs some better history teachers.
About missing Pics

See Also

Typical Japanese couple.

External Links

The ideal Japanese "man", 2009

Video Links

File:Kamikaz jap.png
Japs can be downright scary sometimes this is evident especially during WWII.


Japan
is part of a series on
日本国
Japan template image.jpg

Typical Japanese people. 日本人
Hard GayOtoya Yamaguchi

Typical Japanese Culture. 日本の人文
Big DaikonAnimeManga2chanJapanese Bug FightsShimajiroAnimu ArchetypesDating sim

Typical Japanese Porn. 日本の猥本
BukkakeHarem ComedyHentaiGuroPantyshotShotaconLoliconYaoiYuri



Japan
is part of a series on Race

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Japan is related to a series on AZNS.


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