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Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto

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m (Furfaggotry (And Robofaggotry))
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Image:ALogMargeCostume.JPG|D'oh!
Image:ALogMargeCostume.JPG|D'oh!
Image:A-LogOnMargeBartPorn.png|A-Log passing comment on an image depicting [[The Simpsons|Marge Simpson]] being [[buttsecks|sodomized]] [[incest|by her son]], Bart, in a [[church]].
Image:A-LogOnMargeBartPorn.png|A-Log passing comment on an image depicting [[The Simpsons|Marge Simpson]] being [[buttsecks|sodomized]] [[incest|by her son]], Bart, in a [[church]].
-
Image:A-log being beta.png|A series of private messages between A-Log and a female forum member that show our hero being [[Socially Awkward Penguin|the most beta man alive]]  
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Image:A-log being beta.png|A series of private messages between A-Log and a [[14/f/cali|female forum member]] that show our hero being [[Socially Awkward Penguin|the most beta man alive]].
Image:A-LOG_TWEEEEST.JPG|WHAT A TWEEEEEEEEST.
Image:A-LOG_TWEEEEST.JPG|WHAT A TWEEEEEEEEST.
Image:ALogShota1.JPG|A-Log thinks that [[loli]] is just plain wrong. But [[shota]] is [[Babyfuck|AWWWWWWWWRIGHT.]]
Image:ALogShota1.JPG|A-Log thinks that [[loli]] is just plain wrong. But [[shota]] is [[Babyfuck|AWWWWWWWWRIGHT.]]
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'''UPDATE:''' A-Log's newest masturbatory idol appears to be [[piss|Pea]][[cock]], one of the playable characters from the crappy 2-D fighting game, [[Shit|Skullgirls]]. He has made several posts about her on the WWOEC Forums and claims to be replacing his usual gay [[Lucky Star]] [[Mfw|reaction images]] that he uses in his videos and commentaries with some from Peacock, instead. However, since A-Log is currently [[pussy|hiding from the trolls]] and [[lazy|hasn't made any new videos for the best part of a year]], this has yet to be seen.
+
'''UPDATE:''' A-Log's newest masturbatory idol appears to be [[piss|Pea]][[cock]], one of the playable characters from that crappy 2-D fighting game that nobody likes, [[Shit|Skullgirls]].  
 +
 
 +
He has made several posts about her on the WWOEC Forums and claims to be replacing his usual gay [[Lucky Star]] [[Mfw|reaction images]] that he uses in his videos and commentaries with some from Peacock, instead. However, since A-Log is currently [[pussy|hiding from the trolls]] and [[lazy|hasn't made any new videos for the best part of a year]], this has yet to be seen.
==A-Log On The Airwaves==
==A-Log On The Airwaves==

Revision as of 01:52, 14 May 2012

LOLCOWEPIC.jpg Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto is an Epic Lolcow
One page alone is not enough...
A-Log's fellow circle-jerking aspie pals now have their own page!
Why not read A-Log's fanfiction, too?
Aspergerbenice.gif This person has Assburgers Syndrome,
so you can't say anything bad! :-(


Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
 
 
I find it highly amusing that the new lolcows are actually aspies who keep comparing themselves to retards, trying to look good in comparison. And failing in that. And when you're failing harder than Chris-Chan, that's something. And all this without the slightest sense of irony.
 

 

—AustralatinaArchive, commenting on A-Log's YouTube channel

 
 
There has always been a vocal, embarassing faction of Chris-Chan trolling comprised of babyfurs, proud autists, recolor hacks, gamer tossers, tryhard hipster nerds and epic ween eternal summer kiddies whose only goal has ever been to force Chris off the Internet forever.

They believed they'd finally succeeded in driving Chris off permanently, despite having done fuck-all to poke him, and are pulling this lazy bullshit because they honestly define victory as purging the web of somebody who is the perfect mirror into their true natures.
 


 

/cwc/ on A-Log and his ilk.

 
 
Sick fuck from Staten Island who fantasizes about teenage robot sex, in addition to having obsessions with My Life as a Teenage Robot, Sonic the Hedgehog, and other childish manga. He also defends furries.
 

 

Urban Dictionary on 'Anthony LoGatto'.

 
 
Oh, I am the next Chris-Chan!
 

 

—A-Log finally admits the truth.

 
 
Just to let you guys know; on Friday my sisters and I will be visiting our dad, who is currently living in Wisconsin since May of 2009.

I've been in need of a vacation for a while now, and to get away from the stress of the radio and the trolls who are prank calling me on my shows.
 


 

—A-Log's radio show has many fans.

 
 
Are you ready to, once again, see the unseeable? See greatest insult to comedians everywhere?
 

 

—Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto, on himself.

Previous Quote | Next Quote
Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto, pictured here in his 'overweight Pokémon trainer' incarnation.

In a place such as the Internet, which is filled with faggotry of all stripes - adult babies, scatmunchers, Internet tough guys, autists, furries - it might be easy to dismiss Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto as just another unfunny nerd on YouTube.

However, sadly, as with many things on the Internet, closer inspection reveals the true extent of his faggotry.

For, you see, 'A-Log', as he likes to call himself, is a fat, neckbearded, weeaboo maggot attempting to grow even fatter by feasting on the scraps of the bloated, rotting corpse of infamous Internet lolcow, Christian Weston Chandler.

Followers of the antics of Chris-Chan have long noted a recurring trend of faggots, freaks and aspies attempting to 'redeem' themselves in the eyes of the trolling community by pantomiming disgust and hatred of the manchild's activities and perhaps spare themselves the trolling which, as they recognize all too plainly, would be theirs but for the fortuity of circumstance.

Anthony LoGatto is no exception.

Contents

Videos

 
 
I don't mind commentaries on Chris, I've seen a few decent ones. But A-Log is just so fucking annoying how he picks apart every little thing about Chris and wants everyone to know just how much he hates Chris and how bad he is.

I can agree with others who wish to inflict bodily harm on A-Log. He beats a dead horse, then rapes it. Then he goes around to his friends and says, "Hey, did you hear Chris-Chan raped a horse?"
 


 

—Chris Pickles


A-Log, enjoying a nice warm mug of coffee while wearing a trenchcoat indoors.


A-Log's modus operandi is similar to that of many other basement-dwelling losers looking to score some easy prestige on YouTube - take a pure, unsullied slice of delicious lulzy goodness, in this case, one of Chris-Chan's videos, then proceed to piss all over everything that was once beautiful and good by providing a 'hilarious' commentary on it, inflicting his terminally unfunny and boring observations and opinions on his captive YouTube audience.


 
 
Childhood cancer! Are you outta your fucking mind? How can a kid get cancer that early? Explain this to me.
 

 

—A-Log is a man of unparalleled medical knowledge and immense sensitivity.

 
 
You're still a beached whale. No, wait... That would be an insult to the whale.
 

 

—Comedy gold, dude.

 
 
As much as I hate to say it, you're more twisted than these two bastards. And that's saying something.
 

 

—A-Log, comparing Chris-Chan's Internet buffoonery to Robert Thompson and John Venables, two ten-year-old boys who abducted, sexually abused and then murdered a three year old. Some people might say that there's a slight difference between the severity of their respective actions, but not A-Log.

 
 
If I would actually be the cause of Chris-Chan's death, let alone him actually going to jail, I would actually break out the party streamers because, basically, someone of pure evil is finally gone.
 

 

—A-Log, declaring that a fat autistic manchild with a Sonic recolor whose actions in no way affect him is the embodiment of all the pain, suffering and death in the world.

Previous Video  |  Next Video


A-Log, like many of his kind before him, buys into the fallacy that if the original clip was funny, that by interspersing his own comments, he can make himself appear funnier and wittier than he actually is by piggybacking upon the humor inherent in the clip. While, in rare circumstances, adherents of this strategy can, for a time, prevail before the stench of fail and AIDS surrounding them becomes obvious, a fat, charmless turd like A-Log stands no chance of ever achieving this and the e-fame he clearly longs for.

A-Log at his battlestation, where he films his brilliant YouTube videos - in his mom's living room with a backdrop of her shitty 80's glamor shots and collectible dinner plates she bought off the shopping network at 3.00am.
A-Log, pictured here, ruining top hats for everyone.

A-Log's videos are unremarkable and often boring and, as such, nobody has yet been able to sit through one of them in their entirety. However, even after a casual viewing, it will become apparent that they are nothing more than your typical nerd rant, filled with unfunny jokes and overused pop culture references, interspersed with either reaction images taken from cartoons that he is way out of the appropriate age bracket to be watching and gay anime that nobody gives a shit about or, alternatively, footage of A-Log sitting in his mom's basement, looking like a pudgy, unwashed pedophile, with the lights turned down low to try and obscure the room's contents and make the fact that he is an unemployed man approaching thirty, still living with his mom, making videos about losers on the Internet seem less pathetic.

Indeed, A-Log's videos might easily be ignored, were it not for his main choice of target: Christian Weston Chandler.



In this video, a clearly aroused and envious A-Log watches Chris-Chan have sex with a blow-up doll.

In this video, a near orgasmic A-Log displays his vast knowledge of international copyright law. Lol, unintentional double-troll.

In this charming video, hero to autism, A-Log, records Chris-Chan's voice mail message and then makes fun of Bob Chandler's death.

A-Log attempts to make an over 9,000 joke, but fails because it's not over 9,000. It's exactly 9,000.

Here's a little video A-Log made on Christmas Day, 2009. While the rest of us were enjoying a calming family moment with the ones we love, A-Log was on YouTube, spergin' about how much he hates a fat, dopey, autistic manchild who's actions in no way affect his daily life.

Previous Video  |  Next Video


For, you see, A-Log is that peculiar kind of person who doesn't understand Chris-Chan, despite pretending to, and becomes obsessed with the manbaby because what he really wants is someone to point at, so that other people know that there's someone worse than him out there. In A-Log's eyes, Chris-Chan is not a dopey, childishly naive oaf whose buffoonish antics bring joy to the Internetz, but a hideous monster and the embodiment of all the evils of the world, guilty of the heinous and unforgivable crime of 'giving autistics a bad name'.

What A-Log fails to realize, however, is that the only reason he has for viewing Chris in this way is the fact that, on some subconscious level, he recognizes that he and the big CWC have so much in common.

 
 

It's ironic that 'A-Log', as he calls himself, uploads so many videos to YouTube detracting Chris-Chan, when in fact Anthony LoGatto is the next Christian Weston Chandler.
 


 

—Urban Dictionary, telling it like it is.

 
 
Don't you get it? You're a fat worthless autistic slob just like Chris, only difference is that Chris is entertaining. You're in no position to take the high ground. Enjoy dying alone brah.
 

 

—MrBSD91, commenting on A-Log's YouTube channel.

 
 
watching some of your Chris reviews, you stated you want Chris-Chan to die. Why?

no one wants to really kill him, what would we do without him? go back to messing with Scientology?

you don't understand, Lolcows are what keeps the internet fun. in fact, without Lolcows like Chris and Kuta, you'd have no one to rant on. i'll let that sink in...
 


 

—This tartlet gets it, but loses points for so obviously quoting the Joker.

 
 
Once again, I'm going toward my target of being Chris-Chan!
 

 

—A-Log on himself. A good comedian says what we're all thinking, but they never do so unintentionally.

Previous Quote | Next Quote


A-Log constantly talks about how worthless and stupid Chris is, never hesitating to inform his audience, in great detail, of just what an awful human being Christian Weston Chandler is, in a way typical of the kind of people who are just a few trolls away from being Chris-Chan themselves. He is forever making comments about how much better than Chris-Chan he is and often punctuates his videos with phrases such as "And people think I'M a freak!", "And people think I watch too much porn!" and "Even I could do better!" while seemingly being unaware as to what this implies about him. Indeed, one might catch a precious sparkling glimmer of unintentional humor in one of A-Log's tedious, rambling videos when he'll say something utterly fucking moronic, proving how truly ignorant he is, or otherwise display a shocking lack of self-awareness by revealing a little too much information about himself and his personal habits.

The A-Log Guide To Comedy
An oldfag CWC troll puts A-Log in his place.
A-Log boasts on his channel page about being partially responsible for driving a retarded kid who likes to play with dolls off of YouTube. Congratulations, A-Log. Write a fanfic where your fursona fucks an aging pornstar to commemorate this accomplishment.
Xzibit weighs in.

Popular consensus among longtime followers of both Chris-Chan and A-Log's retarded flailings on the Internet is that if A-Log were trolled to the extent that Chris was, he would be in much the same position as the esteemed Mayor of Cwcville.

Know that you can help in this endeavor, gentle reader.


 
 
I hate A-Log more than I hate Chris, because Chris never tried to profit on an autistic manchild's misery. A-Log thinks he can launch a career in making fun of Chris, something which not even Clyde Cash managed to do.

It's people like A-Log who think that Chris is the Anti-Christ, and want to kill Chris or something that really disturb me. They don't understand Chris, despite pretending to. The Cwcki doesn't tell you everything, as we know.
 


 

—Anonymous /cwc/fag

 
 
I think the Chris hate common to A-Log and his ilk is mainly down to ego and projection - They see something of themselves in Chris and they don't like it.

It also creates an amusing paradigm because by heaping scorn on Chris they are saying that this sort of behavior - the very same behavior that they also see in themselves - deserves derision. Amusing because according to A-Log, if he gets trolled for exhibiting these same Chris-Chan-esque behaviors, he cannot complain, because this is the reaction that he deserves.
 


 

—Armchair psychology from /cwc/.

Ultimately, however, even setting aside the fact that he and Christian Weston Chandler are so much alike, much of the loathing A-Log recieves stems from the fact that he's somewhat akin to the Know Your Meme of Chris-Chan trolling - like the greedy Jew that he is, he seeks to use Chris-Chan as a means to promote his own shitty stand-up, radio and acting ambitions and profit from something he, himself, doesn't understand, nor have the balls to partake in.

Stand-Up Comedy Career

It would appear that A-Log intends to inflict his terminally unfunny stand-up on a wider audience. Time to tune in!

While A-Log's troll shielding YouTube videos are fail in its purest form, they might, on their own, be a forgivable offense attributed to an unfunny newfag and, thus, forgotten. After all, there are plenty of faggots making shitty videos on YouTube.

However, A-Log's greatest crime unto comedy is his ill-favored foray into the world of stand-up, which takes the winning premise of his YouTube videos, namely, mocking Chris-Chan and picking apart his every fault while simultaneously remaining blissfully unaware of his own numerous failings, and applies it to the concept of live stand-up comedy. Those of you with even a cursory knowledge of comedy traditions will already be able to see precisely why, by putting this plan into practice, A-Log will fall flat on his fat ass.

A-Log, however - either supremely overconfident of his comedic abilities or noticing a gap in the market for fat, virgin retards mocking other fat, virgin retards - didn't let this stop him and stormed (well, waddled) onstage at his local open mic night to treat the assembled audience to his hilarious observations about a series of videos on the Internet that nobody in the venue except him had seen. It went about as well as could be expected.

A-Log later uploaded this video to YouTube, but later removed it due to butthurt after trolls stated how utterly awful it was.

Below we have another example of A-Log's stand-up fail. Those of you with weak constitutions may wish to skip this video as it is so bad, so execrably awful, so painful to watch that it makes the Pain Series pale in comparison.

This stand-up comedy appearance was at the Emporium sports bar on Staten Island on New Year's Eve, 2009, as part of a contest to win $300. Unsurprisingly, he did not win.


 
 
Ugh. I tried watching it and skipping through it and just... Goddamn. God. damn. Shit is so fucking painful. You ever get that feeling when you watch something that's so bad, you feel embarassed, FOR them?
 

 

—Anonymous, upon viewing this video.

 
 
Unbelievable... Do you think I should get up there and help him?
 

 

—Audience member.

Previous Video  |  Next Video

Furfaggotry (And Robofaggotry)

 
 
I love your artwork; it makes beastiality look normal.
 

 

—A-Log, art critic

As well as his shitty YouTube rant videos and his stand-up that is more tragedy than comedy, A-Log's activity on deviantArt and other sites also reveals that he is a flaming furfag, attracted to species from all walks of the animal kingdom, including elephants, dogs, bears, pigs, and even toads, as can be seen here...

This is what A-Log faps to.
Nothing is safe from A-Log's perverse attention, not even an innocent Combat Amphibian.
A-Log faps to goddamn scarecrows.
 
 
Sexy, yet still able to kick some ass. Perfection!
 

 

—A-Log, on an anthropomorphic Battletoad.

Indeed, a few of his YouTube videos even feature artwork of A-Log's fursona, a red fox who is, ironically in typical furfag fashion, noticeably a lot thinner than the real, human A-Log, wearing A-Log's glasses, leather jacket and trademark gay fat guy hat that he wears in most of his videos and stand-up performances in a misguided attempt at looking cool and covering up his bald spot.

However, the main thrust, if you'll pardon the expression, of A-Log's perversion is reserved for Jenny and Vexus, characters from the children's cartoon show, My Life As A Teenage Robot. To date, A-Log has produced numerous works of fanfiction about his robot waifus and other characters from the show. A-Log is also the founder of 'teen-robot-club' on deviantArt, where he and like-minded individuals can fap to their mechanical waifus all day long[2].

 
 
Another taste of the MLaaTR/Cluster lemon pie from me! This takes place a week or so after the events of "Why I Hate You All!". In it, Trinako asks Vexus a favor, which may seem a bit uncomfortable the first time around.

NOTE: So far, this will be the only chapter with no sex whatsover.
 


 

—A-Log on one of his many My Life As A Teenage Robot fanfics. Note that, so far, THIS IS THE ONLY CHAPTER WITH NO SEX WHATSOEVER.

It is also very telling that 99.5% of A-Log's favorites on deviantArt depict female cartoon characters in various states of undress. No doubt that this collection also doubles as A-Log's fapfuel.


 
 
Well, first-off, I notice that he has, like, the Playboy fold-out of Marge Simpson in the background. Is he still trying to tell us, again, that he's straight? Besides, I have a lot better, uh, pictures of Marge Simpson, y'know, lookin' sexy and in the nude myself. On sites like the WWOEC and in my personal collection.
 

 

—A-Log, informing us of exactly why he is better than Chris-Chan.


In this video, the author of several furry fapfics, Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto, mocks Chris-Chan for his 'CWC Rockin' 4-Way' fanart without irony.
 
 
And people think I'M a creepazoid!
 

 

—A-Log, in a rare moment of clarity.

Previous Video  |  Next Video


A-Log is also a prolific poster on that wretched hive of scum and furfaggotry, WWOEC, where he can regularly be found bothering various furry fanartists with requests for Rule 34, often of the most obscure, forgettable, one time characters. Also notable is A-Log's rather dubious interest in straight shotacon - Chris Hansen would doubtless be interested in sitting down with him and asking a couple of questions.

A-Log visits the WWOEC Forums every day and has over 500 posts to his name at the present time, achieving the noble rank of 'Legend' - an enviable title amongst those who fap to cartoon characters.

A-Log is also a member of the social group 'Toon MILF Fans' on the WWOEC Forums.


Lulzy Posts By A-Log On The WWOEC Forums About missing Pics


UPDATE: A-Log's newest masturbatory idol appears to be Peacock, one of the playable characters from that crappy 2-D fighting game that nobody likes, Skullgirls.

He has made several posts about her on the WWOEC Forums and claims to be replacing his usual gay Lucky Star reaction images that he uses in his videos and commentaries with some from Peacock, instead. However, since A-Log is currently hiding from the trolls and hasn't made any new videos for the best part of a year, this has yet to be seen.

A-Log On The Airwaves

Nice, professional-looking logo, man.

Perhaps recognizing that his grotesque appearance might limit his ability to get reliable film and television work, A-Log also hosts a shitty college radio show, broadcast on WSIA 88.9 FM every Thursday afternoon from 1:00 to 4:00, which nobody ever listens to except him.

The show's content is much like A-Log's YouTube videos and stand-up - that is, the sound of a man talking to himself and laughing at his own jokes, occasionally playing a song, allowing him to sneak back to the clammy embrace of the WWOEC Forums to fap to some sweet, sweet, cartoon ass. Tune into the faggotry here - [3]

A-Log's radio show playlist is mostly composed of joke songs and, like most unfunny nerds, his favorite artist is Weird Al Yankovic. He also has a massive hard-on for Dr. Demento and has inflicted his presence upon the good doctor on two occasions, as well as constantly bombarding the poor man with demo tapes for his awful parody songs.

A-Log On The Airwaves is regularly trolled during call-ins, which causes A-Log stress. You can help by doing just that.

A-Log's On-Air Request Line

(718) 982-3060

WSIA-FM

2800 Victory Boulevard Rm 1C-106

Staten Island, New York 10314

http://www.wsia.fm/

Voice-Acting Career

This is what that cute, anime schoolgirl you just fapped over looks like IRL.
A-Log feels butthurt because the anime, One Piece, will not be dubbed in New York, claiming that, not only have his dreams of a part in the show been shattered, but that New York will be attacked by terrorists in reprisal. Because Al Qaeda are fucking serious about their anime.
 
 
Please don't take this the wrong way or anything, but like some people, I watch hentai. It's not just for the sex, but I like to hear what the English voices sound like.
 

 

—A-Log, on why he can't fap to that Jap shit.

 
 
I am doing the voice of a villain from the 1991 sentai show, Birdonic Squadron Birdman. I am providing the voice of the main antagonist, Lord Radiguet; I am credited under my nickname of A-Log.

Despite the fact that I won't get paid (it is a fan-dub after all), this is almost a good way to stick it to my dad for referring to my voice-over aspirations as a childish pipe-dream.
 


 

—From A-Log's LiveJournal. You can watch the dub in question here.

 
 
Certainly. I've got two aliases that would fit well - Sheldon Slugg and Basil Cleese. Another one, Wally Blanc, I'll save another time.
 

 

—A-Log, answering the question, "Would you voice act in a hentai?"

Previous Quote | Next Quote

A-Log is also an aspiring voice actor and a member of several anime fandubbing communities that succeed on being even worse than the Anime Voice Acting Alliance - of which he is also a member.

Of course, as should come as no surprise to anyone, A-Log fails just as hard at voice-acting as he does at everything else.


Previous Video  |  Next Video


As is perhaps unsurprising for someone so fat and unappealing, he has expressed a keen interest in making his own hentai dub[4], providing him with the closest thing he will ever have to actual intimacy with a woman. That is, the two of them, seperated by two panes of soundproof glass, in two seperate recording studios, saying awkward dialogue and mimicking the sounds made by two human beings experiencing a physical love that A-Log himself will never know.

Remember that, next time you want to crack one out to some English-dubbed hentai.

Reporter For WolfDork.com

In 2008, A-Log attended the New York Anime Festival, where he acted as a roving reporter for the now (unsurprisingly) defunct website, WolfDork.com, presumably chosen over countless better qualified and considerably more competent applicants.

A series of videos of A-Log reporting from the festival were discovered online and later crossposted to /a/ and /cwc/, much to the amusement of the trolls, as these videos provided a rare glimpse of A-Log interacting with normal people... Well, as normal as people in attendance at an anime convention can be, anyway.

In scenes reminiscent of The Onion's 'Autistic Reporter' sketch, A-Log waddles around the convention center clutching a plushie of Kirby, bumbling and stammering his way through several extremely awkward interviews, perving over hentai games, pornographic manga and the attractive female cosplayers in attendance, generally making a nuisance of himself.

It has been argued that these videos are possibly even more awkward than A-Log's stand-up comedy routine.


Previous Video  |  Next Video

 
 
A-Log is every social faux pas rolled into one man. In a single conversation he can offend, annoy and confuse everybody present, completely unintentionally, and then just walk away thinking, "Hmmm, that went well."
 

 

—/cwc/

A-Log's Fanfiction

A-Log's fursona and the star of much of his fanfiction.
A-Log fantasizes about giving one lucky tomgirl a good, hard six inch foxdicking.
Even ADF-Fuensalida loves the taste of A-Log's six inch foxdick.
An artist's impression of A-Log's foxdick. Not actual size - the real thing in much, much smaller.

As is perhaps unsurprising for a fat, socially awkward nerd with no job, no friends or obligation to leave his bedroom who wastes his life watching children's cartoon shows, A-Log is also an avid writer of crappy fanfiction.

Most of it is posted on his FanFiction.net account and his deviantArt page, including 'What Have We Learned?', his especially lulzy story about the 9/11 terrorist attacks, as told through the eyes of various cartoon characters including Dick Dastardly and SpongeBob SquarePants. No, srsly...

A-Log's magnum opus, however, is his 'erotic' fanfiction - which he has produced a prodigious amount of. His stories are TL;DR self-inserts, featuring amazingly weird, George Lucas-esque dialogue which would sound out of place even in the most poorly acted of porn films, in which A-Log's Mary Sue fursona yiffs his way through various unrealistically appreciative porn stars, actresses, cartoon mother figures, anthropomorphic mother figures and other cartoon characters.

In the spirit of this series of horror, and the ineptitude of the author, in October 2011, A-Log composed a marathon run of fapfiction in celebration of the Halloween season.

 
 
Welcome ghouls and ghosts! Welcome to the month-long set of erotic stories called "31 Tricks, 31 Treats". This set is very special because it features several women that are A) dressed in costume or B) monster babes. All month long, I'll post a chapter each day (God forbid if I'm late, I'll post them up posthaste.) and we'll see what you think. Enjoy the first one so far! All of these chapters will have a Halloween theme with a side of horror as well. Besides, who doesn't want to see actual Vamps getting it on?
 

 

—A-Log on his new thirty-one chapter long fapfic

This soon-to-be classic bible of erotic literature has A-Log's fursona yiffing the likes of Elvira: Mistress Of The Dark, Mewtwo, Rouge the Bat, assorted mother figures and his own ORIGINAL CHARACTER DO NOT STEAL Nina Quacketta - an anthropomorphic duck policewoman among others.

By reading just a few of these, the most tolerant and depraved fappers can notice many recurring trends and personality flaws. Here are just a few, so you can be spared from the horror.

 
 

Our foxy, yet nerdy, casanova, Anthony LoGatto (better known as A-Log) is helping out someone with decorations for a Halloween costume party. Now we all know that A-Log is many points shy of a pimp, player or playboy, but his niceness and personality has garnered many a women as the usual lover.
 


 

—A-Log on failing with women.

 
 
She can feel how warm his foxdick is, making her boobs like a security blanket.
 

 

—A-Log on his mommy issues.

 
 
“Now let me release that little beast,” she says, now sitting up and reaches to pull down his boxers. She is then surprised to see his large, six-inch penis standing erect in front of her. Her eyes go wide in astonishment; surely Enchantra wanted Elvira to be surprised when she saw this. Mission accomplished.

“Holy crap!” Elvira said in amazement. “I seem to recall the wolfman being well hung, but not a fox boy like you!”
 


 

—A-Log on having an (exaggerated) average-sized penis.

 
 
“Pick a place to cum, baby!” she screamed to him. “Cum anywhere you like!”

“Please,” he says. “Let me cum on those gorgeous tits!” “That's my boy!” she says with pride.
 


 

—A-Log on his mommy issues. Again.

 
 

“Oh yeah, baby...” Anthony moans in satisfaction as Rouge treats him right orally. “Keep on suckin' my cock, you sexy witch...”

Rouge stops for a moment and says, “Oh, you're gonna love the spell I'll put you under, baby!” and continues sucking his cock.
 


 

—A-Log on extremely lame puns.

 
 
A-Log can see both her ass and her stinger in full glory as she sets her pussy down repeatedly before the decides to arch her back, letting him thrust upwards into her pussy and letting her stinger rest on his chest; thankfully not poking him to the point of accidental death.
 

 

—A-Log on the perils of having sex with giant anthropomorphic bees.

 
 
“Oh yes, A-Log! Yes! Yes! YES!!!” she shouts in erotic joy. “Drive that foxdick further into my pussy! Drive that big, massive foxdick into my sweet, succulent pussy! You know you want to!”
 

 

—A-Log on why he's using his right-hand

 
 
Anthony is currently dressed as an emperor of ancient Rome. Judging from the much younger looking appearance, he is not dressed as Julius Caesar, but Marc Antony, who took Caesar's place after his assassination.
 

 

—A-Log on Freudian allegory and how he wishes to overthrow his father and have sex with his mom.

 
 
“Get ready to ride the broomstick!” A-Log says, rubbing his cock on her pussy.

“Yeah baby,” Rouge says erotically. “Hit me with that magic stick of yours! Fuck this sexy witch!”
 


 

—A-Log on sexual assault.

 
 
At one point, A-Log lets go of one ass cheek to reach over and fondle one of her boobs. The combination of fucking and fondling drives Quacketta over the edge as she quacks and screams in erotic joy on this October night.
 

 

—A-Log on overly verbose language.

 
 
“Oh God, baby!” she screamed in erotic joy. “Shove that foxdick deeper in to my ass! It's been so long since I felt good down there!”

“Damn straight!” he said.

“I want you to cum on my ass!” she shouted. “I want you to squirt that hot love juice all over my heroic ass!”
 


 

— A-Log on failing at descriptions.

 
 
“How do you like getting stabbed by my pork sword, lass?” he says.
 

 

—A-Log on raping someone while dressed as a pirate.

 
 
“Suckle my teats, dear Marc Antony!” she says erotically. “My milk has given my soldiers strength, and so will you!”

“I'll gladly drink to that, my dear!”
 


 

—A-Log on his mommy issues. Yet again.

 
 
“Wanted to look conservative and hot at the same time, eh?” he teased.

“In a way, yes,” she says as she's massaging his cock with her G-Cup tits. “That's the only good thing I've learned from that nut from Alaska.”

Sarah Palin?”

“Yes,” she says. “But what about that porn star that impersonated her?”

“You mean Lisa Ann?” he said. “Personally, in the terms on mental capacity, I would do her more than the real deal.”
 


 

—A-Log on political subtext. PROTIP: If you think a politician is stupid, working this criticism into a fapfic probably isn't a smart idea, especially when you've admitted to having gone to a school for retarded children.

 
 
"You'd be surprised on how much I've learned from the Internet regarding sex and sexuality!"
 

 

—A-Log on Internet pornography being educational.

 
 
Vampi moans even louder than the wolves as she feels his tongue going in and out of her vagina.
 

 

—A-Log on how to pleasure a woman orally.

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UPDATE: To the disappointment of all, A-Log never completed his lofty goal of thirty-one chapters for his Halloween fapfics, throwing in the towel at only the seventeenth chapter. It is thought this is due to a number of factors:

  • The overwhelming reaction on the other losers on the WWOEC Forums being a resounding 'meh'.
  • Trolls bombarding his YouTube channel, mocking his awful writing and requesting to see his six inch foxdick.
  • Aspie laziness.

Needless to say, nobody laments what might have been.

A-Log's stories can be read in their entirety here, but one should be sure to have a sizable quantity of brain bleach on hand before doing so...

Nuvola
Moar info: A-Log's Fanfiction.

A-Log's Mom

"Vhy don't you lay down on ze couch, Herr LoGatto, und tell me about your mahzer?"

/cwc/fags came across (and then CAME across, no doubt) some pictures of A-Log's mother and, rather than the mummified, Agnes Skinner off of The Simpsons-esque hag you would expect to have spawned someone with as many obvious failings as A-Log, she's actually kind of fappable, if you don't mind your MILFs a bit on the rough, leathery side and can ignore the fact that twenty-seven years ago, she expelled from her vagina a bloated tardbaby who is presently fucking up YouTube with his cancerous and unfunny video commentaries.

A-Log expressed some appreciation for this straight shota doujin on the WWOEC Forums. It might shed some light on his innermost fantasies...

Some argue that A-Log's mom might be the source of his MILF fetish and that, by fapping to cartoon MILFs, A-Log is actually attempting to assuage his guilt about fapping to his own mother, making him even more of a sick fuck than previously thought.

Once again, you can help this article by adding MOAR pictures of A-Log's mom.


A-Log's Mom Has Got It Goin' On About missing Pics


From what little information can be gleaned about her, we know that A-Log's mother's name is Margo Bornstein LoGatto, she is 57 years old and appears to work as a lawyer of some sort, much like A-Log's best buddy, Spax3's mom.

Margo gave birth to her son, Anthony on the 8th of May, 1985. Likely knowing from the early days of A-Log's development that her water-headed son wouldn't amount to much, Margo chose to enroll him in a private school for other retards like him, Legacy High School, where A-Log spent his formative years among other precious little embarrassments to their parents, drooling, wearing a helmet indoors and reading books with chewable covers until he was eleven so that he couldn't bother the normal children with his faggotry. It was also revealed that she escorted the young A-Log to his high school prom as his date. Whether or not he got any that night is unknown.

It is worth noting at this point that Christian Weston Chandler, the manchild that A-Log so vocally despises, was mainstreamed all through his education, thus making him LESS retarded than A-Log.

ADVANTAGE: Chris-Chan.

Similarities Between A-Log And Chris-Chan

Hmmm... This reminds me of someone...But I can't think who...
Nope... Can't think who...
Troll artwork depicting a battle between A-Log and his loathed nemesis, Chris-Chan.
Another depiction of the battle, this time with Chris cast in the role of Batmanchild, fighting his arch-nemesis, A-Log, the clown prince of crap.
 
 
Please enjoy his presence on this very page, as he makes friends to fill his lonesome heart.
 

 

—From A-Log's MySpace

 
 
I am a good man who needs a female sweetheart to soothe my pains from loneliness.
 

 

—From Chris-Chan's Facebook

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So, as we've seen, despite being vocal in his loathing of Chris-Chan, A-Log, nevertheless, has a lot in common with the manchild.

Here's a compiled list, for the convenience of those of you keeping score at home.

  • Both are male.
  • Both are autistic.
  • Both are fat to the point of being morbidly obese (although it's generally accepted that A-Log is actually fatter than Chris-Chan).
  • Both wear glasses.
  • Both are virgins - the only difference being that Chris freely and openly admits that he is, whereas A-Log's virginity is self-evident.
  • Despite being virgins, Chris and A-Log nevertheless both claim to be experts when it comes to sex.
  • Both Chris and A-Log consider pornography to be educational.
  • Both are in possession of an impressive set of man-tits.
  • Both make retarded YouTube videos - the only difference being that Chris' videos are actually funny, albeit for the wrong reasons, whereas A-Log's are just boring and irritating.
  • Both are ronery and friendless.
  • Both are spoiled and coddled.
  • Both are unemployed - no, A-Log, that shitty radio show of yours does not count as a real job.
  • Despite having lofty ideas about their ideal occupations - in Chris' case, comic books, and in A-Log's, voice acting - both have demonstrated extreme reluctance to actively seek work in those fields expecting instead for their dream jobs to just come to them.
  • Both are grown men still living their mothers.
  • Both have no sense of fashion.
  • Both were born in the 1980s.
  • Both are Christians.
  • Both are sexist.
  • Both are racist.
  • Both are homophobic.
  • Both have a complete inability to spot contradictions in their actions.
  • Both are lazy, slacking off on their work and demonstrating a complete inability to keep to deadlines.
  • Both bitch and whine about their trolls.
  • Both bitch and whine about ED.
  • Both are ridiculously paranoid about their trolls.
  • Despite said paranoia, both fall for the same troll plots and schemes, believing everything they read and taking everything at face value.
  • Both were victims of a guido troll with an alliterative name.
  • Both have had or continue to have an unkempt goatee which serves only to highlight their fat, flabby faces.
  • Both are balding.
  • Both are EXTREMELY socially awkward.
  • Both have an inflated sense of their own cleverness, wit, self-importance and entitlement.
  • Both try to cultivate an image of being the lovable nice guy, when in reality they are quite the opposite.
  • Both try to play down their negative and undesirable personality traits by claiming that at least they are 'honest' about them.
  • Both are intellectually on a par with a horny ten-year-old boy.
  • Both think everyone wants to hear their views.
  • Both have enormous persecution complexes about their baaaawtism.
  • Both are completely self-interested, believing the world to revolve around them.
  • Both hold ridiculous beliefs about how the world works.
  • Both have stated that they believe that the world would benefit from a holocaust of groups that they consider to be dangerous - Chris wants all gay people to be vaccinated against homosexuality or reprogrammed by the state, but A-Log is more bloodthirsty, believing that every single racist and bigot on the planet should be killed so that race wars will never happen.
  • Both insist on referring to themselves by their full names, Christian Weston Chandler and Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto.
  • Both do not know what editing is.
  • Both fail when they intentionally try to be funny.
  • Both are known to repeat their own material, seemingly in the desperate hope that it'll be funnier the next time they tell it.
  • Both own a PS3.
  • Both laugh in the same, stilted, emotionless fake way. "Ha ha ha!"
  • Both stress sigh and gesticulate in very similar ways, including the use of The Claw Of Fail.
  • Both suffer from B.O. and use AXE body spray to try and mask their stench. In A-Log's case, people publicly complained that he smelled.[5]
  • Both are known to mock and ridicule those they view as inferior in order to make themselves appear better, up to and including exhibiting a prejudice against against those with lower functioning forms of autism or other mental handicaps such as Down's syndrome.
  • Both are known to make ridiculous threats when they feel that they have been disenfranchised.
  • Both are cowardly.
  • Both have disrespected the memories of those who died in the 9/11 terrorist attacks.
  • Both have spoken on behalf of dead celebrities, using the deceased as a mouthpeice for their own self-serving agendas and interests.
  • Both write awful fanfiction with lots of unnecessary author-service sex scenes.
  • Both were rightly bullied at school.
  • Both created highly derivative Sonic fan characters during high school to cope with the stresses of teenage life. However, whereas Sonichu was created to be the best friend Chris never had, A-Log's character, an echidna-succubus named Enchantra, was designed primarily as fap material for the young A-Log and to help him deal with rejection from girls.
  • Both of their original characters are defined by their utter lack of personality.
  • Both create rule 34 of their own original characters, albeit in different ways - Chris-Chan draws, A-Log writes.
  • Both took their moms to their high school prom as their date.
  • Both still hold grudges against their high school to this day.
  • Both blamed a figure of authority from their school days for their current predicaments in life.
  • Both freely offer their personal information to the Internet at large with little regard to the consequences.
  • Both spent their 25th birthdays at home, alone, making videos for YouTube. This is doubly ironic as, in a previous commentary about Chris-chan's Future Message video, A-Log mocked Chris for this behavior and stated that he would be doing something a lot better for his 25th.
  • Both enjoy and by enjoying, ruin for everybody else, typical staples of nerd humor such as Monty Python and Weird Al Yankovic.
  • Both hope to become famous and/or recognized and are taking the path of least resistance in the hopes of acheiving it.
  • Both watch and enjoy programing that they are far too old for - including Sonic the Hedgehog, Pokémon, Sailor Moon and the Samurai Pizza Cats.
  • Both masturbate over cartoon characters - including Marge Simpson - and apparently see nothing wrong with this.
  • Both have a fixation on a character from Family Guy - in Chris' case, Meg, in A-Log's case, Lois.
  • Both are unashamed gag thieves, stealing jokes from other media that they enjoy and trying to pass them off as their own.
  • Both do not understand what a parody is.
  • Both are known to make references and comparisons to characters, things and events from obscure niche media that they enjoy (cartoons, professional wrestling, old video games), expecting everybody else to automatically understand and get the joke because they get it.
  • Both have an odd, slightly Norman Bates-esque fixation on their mothers.
  • Both disagree with their fathers politically.
  • Both voted for Obama.
  • Both have used their mothers' credit cards to purchase things that would please them and them alone.
  • Both greatly overestimate the size and influence of their YouTube fanbase.
  • Both have implored their audience on YouTube to contact the authorities and have them arrest somebody they disliked.
  • Both have been the subject of Q&A sessions with trolls conducted by their former friends who had grown tired of their shit.
  • Both play with LEGOs.
  • Both own plushies of Sonic the Hedgehog.
  • Both have had material they have submitted published in magazines, in Chris' case Nintendo Power, in A-Log's case, Operation: Three-Legged Dolphin.
  • Both suck at doing impressions and accents.
  • Both suck at singing (although it has been argued that Chris, despite being tonedeaf, is actually a technically better singer than A-Log, possessing more range).
  • Both usually (but not always) begin their videos with a certain phrase, A-Log's being "Greetings and salutations to all..." and Chris' being "Captain's Log..."
  • Both frequently stammer and stumble over their words.
  • Both are known to overuse discourse markers when speaking (This is never more evident than in A-Log's overuse of the word 'basically').
  • Both have been known to make up their own curses and use them in place of normal swear words.
  • Both have compared themselves to God.
  • Both are obsessed with entering contests.
  • Both appear prematurely old due to their slovenly lifestyles, bad dieting and poor wardrobe choices.
  • Both sometimes use mangled Spanish.
  • Both have no talents, skills, self-awareness or future.
  • Both will die alone.

Dox

 
 
I'm only releasing my real name to authors I can trust. My mom's worried about me being killed from an online stalker.
 

 

—A message from A-Log posted on Fanfiction.net. It is worth pointing out that A-Log still managed to drop his full name into this message TWICE.

Like the manchild he so cheerfully ridicules, A-Log is a naive moron who namefags fucking everywhere on the off, desperate chance that he'll be recognized by someone who'll give him the high-paying television or radio job he clearly longs for.

As such, it is frighteningly easy to locate his dox after even the most casual of Google searches. He has also cheerfully dropped his own dox on numerous occasions - why don't you show him your appreciation?

A-Log's Nakama

A-Log surrounds himself with a winger-dinger circlejerk of permavirgin Internet friends, all of whom, like himself, possess varying levels of autism and are all almost as pathetic as he is. They can be spotted on A-Log's channel page or in the comments section of his videos, hungrily and enthusiastically sucking on Mr. LoGatto's stubby little e-cock and sometimes even appearing in his shitty videos in unfunny cameo appearances bitching, with an unsurprising lack of self-awareness, that Chris-Chan and various other tards are giving autism a bad name.

Nuvola
Moar info: Friends of A-Log.

See also


Einsteinaspie.jpg Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto is part of a series on Aspies.
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