From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Yu-Gi-Oh! is an Anime about card games that stars a little boy named Yugi Mutou who owns an Egyptian necklace that he uses to transform into an Egyptian leather pants-whipping pharaoh named Yami to cheat on said card games. Episode upon episode is spent discussing how the power of friendship can destroy more than Al-Qaeda and acquisition of golden Egyptian crap, all while having HOT CARD PLAYIN' ACTION! REAL PAPER CUTS! JAPANESE SCHOOL GIRLS WITH SHORT SKIRTS! TINY MOUTHS! BUY SOME FUCKIN' CARDS! THEY'RE NOT JUST INK ON PAPER! THEY'RE REAL MONSTERS, MOTHERFUCKER!
Season 0: Little is known about the real 1st season of Yu-Gi-Oh because the poofters in the English speaking world considered it too violent. It showed how Yugi solved the Millennium Puzzle, became possessed by Yami, forced a guy to shoot and kill himself, chopped off a watch collector's hand, set a guy on fire, and tricked a serial bomber into blowing himself up. The manga was so violent that even Japan had to tone it down, which says a lot considering what usually flies there.
Season 1: Yugi Mutou a high school student that still hasn't hit puberty living with his Pedo Grandpa who runs a game shop. Yugi has a girlfriend and two boyfriends, who hang around him simply because he's good in the sack. They are known as Tea Gardner, Joey Wheeler, and Tristan Taylor. All of them love Yugi's heart of the cards and his throbbing man-meat. Shit hits the fan when Yugi's grandpa is caught looking at child porn by Pegasus and his soul gets trapped in a card. Yugi fights Pegasus for his Grandpa's freedom. Kaiba also joins in to save his brother from the child labor exploiting clutches of Maximillion Pegasus, who is about to send him to the Shadow Realm.
Season 2: Wanting to prove finally how big his cock is, Seto Kaiba challenges the whole fucking world and Yugi to attend his card game tournament.
Season 3: Some green-haired dead kid traps them in a digital world or something. Nobody knows what happens after this.
Yugi Mutou/Yami: Since Yugi couldn't afford Pokemon cards, he resorted to Duel Monsters instead, all while wearing a chain than for some reason holds the soul of an Egyptian Pharaoh. On a side note, does Yami has the same spiky hair for pubes?
Téa Gardner: The useless pair of tits needed in every anime.
Joey Wheeler: Yugi's boyfriend and the bitch of the relationship. Italian faggot who rapes the English language whenever he opens his mouth, wears a fursuit twice in the series, and needs the prize money of the first season's tournament to cure his sister's blindness.
Tristan Taylor: Yugi's retarded friend. Winds up falling for Joey's sister because his standards are just that low.
Ryo Bakura: Another faggot who's possessed by a who-gives-a-shit who wants to get all of the Millenium thingamajigers for who knows what. His hair resembles a mop. His use to the series is entirely unknown. It is suspected that he's only there to play the role of the obligatory creepy, slightly camp kid.
Seto Kaiba: Despite being the richest motherfucker in the universe, his main goal in life is to beat Yugi at a card game to compensate for his tiny penis. Wears one of the stupidest trench coats in existence (its only known use is flicking bitches in the eye with the bottom hem when he turns around to sulk after losing to his tiny, leather clad arch nemesis for the umpteenth time). He is convinced that inventing technology to play holographic card games actually benefits society.
Solomon Mutou: Yugi's grandfather. In season one, Pegasus trapped his soul in a card leaving his body a vegetable, which was ironically the point of the series where he was the most useful.
Maximillion Pegasus: The creator of the card game, possesses the Millennium Eye that can see beneath your clothes, and tries to take over the Kaiba Corp. so that he can use its technology to resurrect his dead wife.
Marik Ishtar: Whiny bitch that had to guard a tomb for some reason. Another faggot who's possessed. Has a Millennium Rod that he shoves in places that you wouldn't believe. If Bakura resembles a mop, that would make this one a feather duster.
The original Yu-Gi-Oh! series recently concluded when everybody remembered that the card game was just a fucking fad and laughed at seeing formerly expensive packs of cards at Family Dollar. "Yu-Gi-Oh! GX: Reform School Boys" launched on Cartoon Network, all about people who somehow make a fucking living playing cards, enough of one to have a school about it. Wonders never cease. Now your original Yu-Gi-Oh cards are worthless decks as tournaments don't use them anymore.
In this series, gay 13 year old boys and some token girls that are only there for the tits and ass factor attend a school that teaches them how to play this easy card game. Various things try to destroy or control the school, like Dicks and the students must protect it, because if there was no school then there would be no plot for the next episode. And everybody knows kids love School.
GX in a nutshell
- Action: Bigger boobs on teenage girls than on your mom. Just like the first series, every season ends with the fate of the world depending on a fucking card game, meaning it's serious business.
- Lulz: "And this one time at Duelist Camp" is the only lulz worthy line in the first and second season of this show.
- Merchandising: More ink on cards...I mean monsters, motherfucker! And brace yourself for Elemental Hero Condom-man.
- Morals: More Cards, More Power.
Well fuck you if you thought the series couldn't get any gayer. 5Ds is the same crap as before, except instead of a backdrop featuring either Ancient Egypt or a Hogwarts style boarding school, they play the same bloody card game, on Motorcycles.
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