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Unwarranted Self-Importance

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A theory introduced to civilization in the form of Socrates, Unwarranted Self-Importance (USI) is a disease that gives you the feeling that you are actually worth something despite not having made any contributions to anything at all, and actually making the world a much shittier place, thus making yourself look like a complete douche.

This is common amongst Kanye West, BoA, LiveJournal and Kuro5hin users, chavs, pre-med students, Apple users, famous weathermen, Coalition soldiers who have actually been to Iraq and anyone who drives some sort of "green" hybrid car while simultaneously expecting your gratitude for saving the fucking earth. It occurs on ED all the time.

Unwarranted self-importance is also often associated with flamers or n00bs, Americunts, and anyone who contributes to this page. It will be found on sites where posts or edits are encouraged, as many imagine themselves working for some greater power as they upset others. It also comes into play when the unwarrantably self-important are lacking in one or more areas of their lives, e.g. being too poor to afford a TV. Most people that reward themselves with the feeling that they are important can easily be considered bastards.

People who believe themselves important should seek medical treatment, perhaps because of narcissistic tendencies - except for Jacknstock, who was fucking fired instead. USI has become an epidemic, and is spreading faster than diarrhea in a Mexico City restaurant.

Contents

The science of USI

Luckily, psychologists are hard at work figuring out what causes USI for the sake of building better trolls worldwide. Next time somebody claims they're totally a big deal, just throw some of these concepts at them:

  • Illusory superiority: You are better than everybody else. You're a better driver, better worker, and better everything. Of course, the problem is that EVERYBODY thinks this and how can EVERYBODY be better than EVERYBODY ELSE?
  • Self-serving bias: Your successes are because you're awesome, your failures are because THE MAN is keeping you down! Can also be applied to groups.
  • Dunning-Kruger effect: When somebody is so fucktarded, they don't even realize they're a fucktard and continue to do the exact same shit over and over again.
  • Choice-supportive bias: "I knew I shouldn't have bought the full DVD box set for this shitty cartoon without pirating a few episodes first to see if I like it, but... um... my future kids will like it!"
  • Pollyanna principle: Every compliment you get is fact even when they're bullshitting and you know it. What are you going to do, tell them that you're not awesome?
  • Lack of self-esteem: They have very poor opinions of themselves, and they need everyone else to tell them they are not the complete failures they know themselves to be.

Elitists

An Elitist is an individual who thinks he or she is somehow better than/above the rest of the Internets, yet always manages to have the time to stop and lecture from some moral high ground/soap box. In reality, they fail just as hard and often as the rest of us.

Elitists often give their opinion regardless of whether it is welcomed, and it is always condescending or pedantic in nature.

 
 
What if I AM so important?
 

 

You

If the above quote applies to you, then you are perfectly sane and should seek out Xenu for further guidance.

Reasons for Elitism

There are multiple reasons someone may think themselves less pathetic than the rest of the human race. This is usually due to the following reasons:

  • They are thinner than you
  • They have larger breasts than you
  • They are dragons
  • They more wolf than you
  • They have better grammar than you
  • They hate fags more than you
  • They are more conservative than you
  • They are more liberal than you
  • They are gayer than you
  • They eat moar placentas than you
  • They have more artistic talent than you
  • They have more pageviews on deviantart than you
  • They know of things you've probably never even heard of before
  • They are more straight edge than you
  • They are moar special than you
  • They are more batshit insane than you (see Insanity Wolf)
  • They believe in God less than you
  • They believe in God more than you
  • They belong to an oppressed fandom that is not a choice
  • They drink more blood than you
  • They value The Truth more than being liked
  • They are cooler than you
  • They have an older religion than you
  • They know that nobody's perfect and they've got to work it again and again until they get it right
  • They know that the above reason is complete faggotry, and you don't.
  • They have more venereal diseases than you
  • They use more transitions and special effects than you.
  • They have more "friends" at Facebook than you do.

On Wikipedia

Basically, most Wikipedians are guilty of unwarranted self-importance. The mildest cases are those who think their edits are actually contributing significantly to an encyclopedia. Jimbo-christened administrators have unwarranted importance, but it may or may not be self-importance, since Jimbo seems to think them important (or at least more important than other peons). The worst case of unwarranted self-importance are those Wikipedians who have not been Knighted by Jimbo, but desperately want to be, like Jaysweet, so they actually start sycophantically acting like administrators, in the hope that their "initiative" will be noted and rewarded. Here is an example of Jaysweet's self-importance:

 
 
Hi, if you are reading this you saw that I am helping out at the administrator's noticeboard, even though I am not an admin. I believe what I do is useful, and I will continue to do so unless/until an admin asks me to stop. I created the disclaimer after a user became frustrated that he had filed a report and a non-admin had responded. I think I was helpful in that case anyway, but in the spirit of full disclosure, I now often let people know as soon as I answer an ANI report that I am not an admin, especially if I believe the thread will eventually result in admin intervention.
 

 

—Jaysweet, Source

Elsewhere

 
 
That's a laugh. I have worked with the F.B.I. and I assure, you do not want to be in their sights. DDOS could involve Homeland Security, and, having some rather good friends in that organization, I would be scared right now, if I were under investigation.

I have had F.B.I. clearance 3 times. I have been interviewed about peoples in this town that work for the government that I know. They are very thorough. A lot of blather going on here.
 


 

—Zathros, Source

How to keep yourself from contracting the USI virus

The first step to recovery is admitting you're a dumbass.png
  • Step 1: Take down your social networking page. Sites such as Facebook and Myspace are one of, if not THE most common sources of USI, as most people on there post pictures of themselves on a 3-day smack bender and update their status to show that they're giving head in a strip club restroom.
  • Step 2: Delete your Twitter account. If you want to talk to people, use a fucking phone or your e-mail, dipshit.
  • Step 3: If you have an iPhone, get rid of it. USI comes as a standard app on those things, and is another common source of the virus.
  • Step 4: Avoid sites like 4chan, take them down if possible to prevent others from getting infected with USI.
  • Step 5: Doing things IRL is encouraged, such as going for a walk outside, getting a job, or fucking.
  • Step 6: If everything else fails. Buy a gun and become an hero.

THANK YOU!

A message from the ED Department of Health.

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See Also

Unwarranted Self-Importance
is part of a series on
LERNIN 2 INTERNET
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Pitfalls:

AspierationsBLANKING IN PROGRESSCharming NaïvetéDelete fucking everythingDOIN IT RONGFailing itInternet tough guyKids on the internetLegal actionLiberalismMental illnessSkript kiddieSob StoriesTrollsUnrealistic ExpectationsUnwarranted Self-ImportanceWaaaambulance

Previous Hiscores:
AnimaljailApplemilk1988Cheryl ShumanDalhuskyFlardoxHal TurnerLittleCloudOnigojirakaijuPrince JeremyScience PiratesScientologySokiTwopawSweet EvaPeppermintPattiPoeticironyXxPrincessPunkxxZeriara

PROTIPS:
An heroGoing Back To GaiaLURKING MOARShutting The Fuck UpStopping posting

Unwarranted Self-Importance is part of a series on Psychology
Antisocial personality disorder Hannibal Lector.jpg Mental illness & Disorders

AgoraphobiaPro-AnaAntisocial personality disorderAudiophiliaAnthropophobiaADDADHDAutismBipolarBody dysmorphic disorderBorderline personality disorderCarmen Electra complexDepressionDyslexiaEating disorderFauxlimiaFeminismFursonaGender dysphoriaHistrionic Personality DisorderHeterophiliaHomophiliaInconsistent personality disorderInsanityLove ShyMultiple personality disorderNapoleon ComplexNarcissistic personality disorderNeurotypicalOCDObsessive-compulsive disorderParanoiaParanoid personality disorderParaphiliaPeter Pan SyndromePost-Traumatic Stress DisorderPsychopathyRetardsSchizophreniaSelf-diagnosed & Self-diagnosisSpecial Snowflake SyndromeVictim complex

E-Psychosis:

Chronic Troll SyndromeE-PsychiatristTrigger WarningLulz-BlindnessInternet disease & Internet Disease ChartInternet Fuckwad TheoryInternet troll personality disorder

Experiments:

ask.fmMilgram ExperimentThe Hivemind CorollaryScientologyStanford Prison Experiment

See also:

Autism CasesBiologyChemistrySciencePsychiatristyThe Law of Conformity


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