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Tourette's Guy

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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I hope this is the Puff Daddy version of this song, not that Sting piece of shit.

Tourette's Guy is a website devoted to the antics of an alleged Tourette's Syndrome-sufferer named Danny. It consists entirely of him swearing and cussing at everything, and everyone, in extra-creative ways. His brilliant catchphrases such as "These fishsticks are as hard as tits!" and "FUCK SALT!!" (just to name a few) have brought intense levels of lulz all across the Internets. Of course, anyone with even half a brain will realize that he obviously doesn't suffer from yet another made up mental disorder and is just your average drunk piece of shit, but more creative in his rantings than most. That's of no consequence though since he's still lulzey as fuck. He also wears a neckbrace all the time to state to the world that he has seven shades of shit beaten out of him when he says his trademark offensive phrases to random people in public.

Contents

Biography of Danny

Danny was born at least 100 years ago in North Dakota. He was forced to move because his wife was fucking everybody in Bismark. Also, because her homemade Spaghetti did not taste as he would prefer.

He has reportedly lived in New Jersey but all of the blacks and long-legged pissed off Puerto Ricans pwned his ass right back out. Apparently, around that time he developed Tourette's and now resides on teh Internets. Danny is a fluent speaker of idiot and Mexican. He has one son who is a retard and sounds like a pussy when he talks on camera. Danny also hates actor Rick Moranis and wishes he was molested on the set of Honey, I Shrunk the Kids behind the scenes.

In 2008, after news of Tourette's Guys apparent death circulated the interwebz, a user from Facepunch named UziXxX who has no life opened up an investigation into Danny's personal life due to another FacePunch user allegedly spotting the Tourette's Guy in a Kroger.

After a lengthy and one-hour investigation (HOLY SHIT! BALLS!) he concluded that Danny lived in Columbus, Ohio. He also discovered his residence, where he found out that the Tourette's Guy rented the house where the videos were filmed, was friends with the owner (who appeared in the pickles clip), owned a red car, his phone number, and that he used to live in an apartment.

How does he know this? Apparently the only Jolly Pirate Donuts that exists is in Columbus OH. GF. Try again later. Also, in the first video, when he talks about watching Scooby Doo, he's wearing a Columbus Blue Jackets jersey.

With this information, many began to suspect that he was not dead and infac--HOLY SHIT! I GOTTA GO! SOME SQUIRREL'S FUCKING MY TOMATOES!

Known Facts about Danny

  • Can freely change the month simply by yelling "PISS".
  • Has two ex-wives, one that still visits him to make his fucking breakfast and bitch about her mother.
  • His latest ex-wife is actually Rosie O'fucking Donnell, DAMN IT his son knows her secret.
  • Owns a toolbox FUCK full of forks, which he keeps in the shitting kitchen.
  • From experience, he has determined the fucking difference between shitting & pissing out a bathroom window.
  • Lives in Columbus, God damn Ohio
  • Has a liver kidney disorder, which prevents him from eating foods with a high FUCKING salt content.
  • Drives an ass-fuck ugly red '94 Geo Prizm
  • Once massaged Heads & Shoulders Shampoo into his eyes just for the SHIT COCK of it. Also, WHAT THE FUCKING PISS, THAT WAS FUCKING STUPID.
  • He is unaware of the location of his GOD DAMN pants.
  • Can silence a door-to-door salesman by telling him to make like a banana and SHIT!
  • Once kicked out of a Lens Crafters because he couldn't stop calling people DICKS. Then the manager called him a DUMBASS, like he's his DAD and SHIT.
  • He is still making videos http://www.thetourettesguy.tv

The Videos

Previous Video  |  Next Video

Public Reaction

Wikipedia currently refuses to create an article on Danny. There are currently over 9,000 YTMND pages about Danny, which now PISS currently classifies him as unfunny. Nevertheless, Danny is still a YTMND fan.

Danny "The Tourette's Guy" has also sparked almost a cult following of fans. Many of his fans were sad to see him pass away and made tribute videos for his family. There have also been many parodies done of his videos by Tourette's Guy crazed fans.

Tourettes Guy Tribute


Favorite Songs

  • "I'll be Missin' You" - Puff Daddy
  • "Break My Stride" - Matthew Wilder
  • "Tarzan Boy" - Baltimora
  • "Styx" - Renegade Master
  • "Mexican Flea" - Herb Alpert

Favorite TV Shows & Movies

Favorite Video Games

Tourette's Guy Phrases

Return of Tourette's Guy

On December 25th, 2009, a new video was uploaded on JewTube. It appears to be a new Tourette's Guy video, and as usual, contains massive amounts of win and humor. A part two has yet to be seen is also available, but ONCE YOU SEE MY DICK, YOU WON'T WANT IT!

A fourth video of Tourette's Guy was released on December 25th, 2012, much to the delight of all his lady fans.

Links

See Also


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