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Pope

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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Pedobearpope.jpg
His holy-shitness Pope Benedict XVI
Mario Bergoglio, now Pope Francis I


The P.O.P.E (Peoples Own Pedophile Emperor) is the Final boss of the world's Roman Catholics as well as the ringleader of the world's largest pedophile group. He is best known for his flamboyant paper hats, his time-traveling powers, and for looking exactly like the evil Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars as well as for fulfilling the Emperor Palpatine's fictional role in real life (The Vatican is no moon; rather, it is a space station). Contrary to popular belief, the pope does not need to poop. This is similar to the women that you are not having sex with.

Contents

Breaking News

Benedict XVI giving a shout-out to his 4chan niggaz

Copypasta from The Stun

 
 
THE civil servant who sent a shock email poking fun at the Pope's planned visit to Britain will keep his job, it emerged last night. Steven Mulvain, 23, has been cleared of any wrongdoing despite the papal trip being put in doubt by the jokey but offensive suggestions in the message. The email, sent across Whitehall departments, was said to be the result of a "brain-storming" session by three or four junior staff. It ridiculed the Catholic Church's stance against contraception, homosexuality and abortion. It was titled "The ideal visit would see..." and said Pope Benedict XVI could promote his own brand of "Benedict" condoms, bless a gay marriage and open an abortion clinic. Other suggestions included the 83-year-old performing forward rolls with children to promote healthy living, spending the night in a council flat in Bradford and performing a charity duet with the Queen. The document listed "positive" people who he could meet - including Britain's Got Talent star Susan Boyle, and rating her more influential than the Archbishop of Westminster, leader of the UK's Catholics. "Negative" Catholic figures included footballer Wayne Rooney and singer Madonna.
 

 


Read more: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2947230/The-Pope-dope-keeps-his-job.html#ixzz0mBZDRvtY

Moron News

Return of the "Clerical Ogre"...

After the unexpected and suspicious death of the smooth-skinned, voluptuous and monotone R&B singer, Pope Sean Paul II, a new Pope, Pope Benedict XVI, has risen to power in a brutal ascendancy which left the Vatican littered with the smoking bodies of Cardinals from the world over. Promising to rule the Church with an iron fist, the Pope urged his flock to "use [their] hatred" in a grating, otherworldly rasp.

Pope Benedict XVI

 
 
Wait, we can quit?
 

 

—Jesus, while being crucified

Pope Darth Giggity Benedict has been revealed to be a Sith Lord.

What rigorous conditioning makes a religious leader perfect for the papacy? Killing some motherfucking jews (and twelve inches of holy bulletproof glass). Currently Lord Benedict XVI has that shit on lock. In 1941, our good friend was ethnic cleansing with the best of them, lulzing it up in the Hitler Youth. I mean, they had it coming right? If killing Christ and doing WTC isn't grounds for genocide, WHAT THE FUCK IS?

He knows his god is always right, and is ready to defend any crusaders in history, essentially saying that the Spanish conversion and extermination of south and central america was ok because they did it to spread Catholocism

And guess what job he had before he was Pope? He was head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith - the Inquisition.

During Easter '09, some bitch gave him what he deserved and punched him in the FACE! His Swiss Guard security pimps subsequently raeped her and dumped her corpse in a garbage bin. Boy, nothing says you trust God like 16 heavily armed bodyguards!

Facts About the Current Former Pope

  • Has the ability to shoot lightning from his fingertips.
  • Is king of all the child molesters and gets batshit insane when this gets pointed out .
  • The pope got hit at christmass eve party by an woman.
  • Has pecs the size of small moons.
  • Strongest recorded jaw strength of any animal or human, living or dead.
  • Real name is Amanda.
  • Had a brief love affair with Borat.
  • He wields the strength of 10 ordinary Popes.
  • Once had body of former pope dug up, clothed, tried for various crimes, convicted, and thrown into the Rubicon.
  • His skin is actually made of precious Adamantium.
  • Tried to convert Luke Skywalker to the dark side of the force.
  • He is the father of hero Josef Fritzl.
  • He murdered 12 Jews with force lightning when he was supposedly "forced" into joining the Hitler Youth.
  • Is not attracted to women except to the Virgin Mary.
  • Has published a book translating it in at least 100 languages, but everybody failed to give a fuck about it.
  • Worked for Hitler during World War II but is now pope for some reason.
  • Current model of Pope-Mobile does 0-60 in 37 seconds, but gets 114 mpg (diesel).
  • will not answer my goddamn call to figure out where to buy a pope hat.
  • His nickname in highschool was "Sex Kitten"

Pope John Paul II: never forget

ALL HAIL POPE BEAVIS
FIRE!

Pope John Paul II was born in 1977 in California, and is an adult film actress of Vietnamese and Chinese extraction whose numerous films and photos became widely distributed on the internet during the early 2000s, especially through P2P file sharing and TGP galleries.

He had breast implants midway through his career and is known for a buxom figure and numerous hardcore joys with boys.His favorite position is the reverse cowboy, so the little boys don't see his face as he raeps them.

Although his name is often pronounced "Maiko", he actually pronounces it as "Meeko".

His body, covered with apparent lightning burns, was recently found by his personal assistant Waylon Smithers after Smithers sensed what he termed "a great disturbance in the Force". Thus began the bloody process of selecting a new Pope to rule the world's quivering masses of Catholics.


Quotes

  • "...Sex on film is different from my personal life. It’s more passionate and down to earth. There is more love and it’s sensual, more hugging and touching. On film it is more fucking, fucking and fucking."
  • "These aren't the droids you're looking for."
  • "I like everything. I like nasty sex. Hot, passionate sex is good. That’s what I like, hot passionate scenes."
  • "A person we can all aspire to be is Mary Magdeline. That whore can suck toes like no other."
  • "Don't ever fuck with me. If you do everyone you care about will suffer. Then you will beg for death"
  • "...I like Chinese, they only come up to your knees; they're cute, they're cuddle and ready to please, I like Chinese."
  • "WOW! Would you look at the funbags on that hosehound! BOW-CHIKKA-WOW!"
  • "ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK IT?"

Stfupope.jpg

Appearance

http://www.myheritagefiles.com/video/I/28/678l29_2523294b629f74rw9yzs29" POPE IS PETER WELLER! ZOMGZ BREAKING NEWS.

  • Height: 5' 9"
  • Weight: 120 lbs
  • Bra/Waist/Hips : 34D-24-34
  • Penis : 0,000000000000001

John Paul 2 in ASCII

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Gallery

Francis I

About missing Pics
{{{5}}}

Benedict XVI

About missing Pics

John Paul II

About missing Pics

Videos

Pope of the Reich

A New Pope

A tribute to the Pope

Beatication of JP2

Pope blesses breakdance

Previous Video  |  Next Video

See Also

LINKS

Pope
is part of a series on
Christianity
Badass jesus.jpg
Blessed by God
Beliefs, Events, Traditions and Other Drama
Pissing Off the Almighty
Heathens
Article of the Nao May 5, 2011
Preceded by
Drug
Pope Succeeded by
Aaron Barr


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