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The Big Bang Theory

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ALL YOUR BASE! BAZINGA!!
He looks much thinner on screen

The Big Bang Theory, also known as TBBT or 'LOL I'M SUCH A NERD!! XD' - The TV Show is an unfunny American sitcom written by Chaim Levine, the same douchebag that brought you Two and a Half Men. The show debuted on CBS in 2007 and, unfortunately, doesn't show any signs of ending anytime soon, seeing as it is currently the most popular sitcom since that other cancerous piece of crap, Friends.

People think this show is really funny and everyone has heard about it as the 'must-see show' of the decade, and all its awards and such. Figuring you'd get on the bandwagon and see what all the fuss is about, roughly fifteen minutes into the first episode and you will realize it's the worst thing mankind has ever created. Nuclear weapons, handguns, medieval methods of torture, Encyclopedia Dramatica, every other horror spawned from the darkest places of the human psyche are like rays of sugar-coated sunshine compared to this abomination.

Some argue that The IT Crowd, a sitcom with a similar premise from the UK, is superior to The Big Bang Theory, but this is somewhat akin to saying that it's better to have your eyes gouged out than it is to have your kneecaps smashed.

Contents

Characters

 
 
The Big Bang Theory is to nerds as minstrel shows are to black people.
 

 

—This is what butthurt nerds actually believe.

"Tee hee! Look, Anon! It's you and all your friends!"
Unsurprisingly, this porn parody is actually much funnier than the real thing.

The Big Bang Theory is a show about nerds - or, more specifically, about the stereotypical characterization of the 'nerd' archetype as seen in movies and television shows. From about twenty years ago.

This is likely because if the show were actually about nerds as they are IRL, it'd be considerably harder to market and for audiences to emphathize with a cast of such unlikeable, obnoxious people. The viewing public would, understandably, not want to watch a show about a bunch of fat, unwashed, perverted pizza-faced manchildren with neckbeards, body odor and a penchant for Japanese animated pornography, hence the fact that the entire cast instead embody a 'cute' neutered, marketable form of manufactured nerdiness, all Star Trek references and pocket protectors.

The main characters of The Big Bang Theory are:

  • Leonard Hofstadter - A beta midget who wears glasses because, y'know, who wears glasses? NERDS!! People believe he's the real main character of the show.
  • Sheldon Cooper - Played by award-winning actor Jim Parsons, Sheldon is the one that that irritating fat girl you work with says reminds her of you. Leonard's best friend, Sheldon is a gay asspie who seems to enjoy generally being a dick to everybody around him. As is not uncommon for neurotypicals interacting with autistics, none of the other characters seem to like Sheldon, but tolerate his presence because they like Leonard. Every time Sheldon opens his mouth, the studio audience piss themselves laughing, regardless of whether Sheldon has actually said anything funny. Wears T-shirts with superhero logos on them as part of a product placement deal worked out between DC Comics and the show's producers. And because, y'know, who wears T-shirts with superhero logos on them? NERDS!!
  • Howard Wolowitz - Howard is Leonard and Sheldon's Jewish friend, because every single American sitcom ever has to have a Jew in it now or they'll do it again. Like you, Howard lives with his elderly overbearing mother and is unsuccessful with women. Of all of the main cast, Howard is easily the most rapey. He has a bowl cut because, y'know, what sort of people have that kind of hairstyle? NERDS!!
  • Rajesh Koothrappali - A curry nigger who exists primarily so the writers can make cheap, often borderline racist jokes about the fact that he's from India, something they remind the audience of every five minutes, presumably just in case they forget. Remarkable for being even more beta than Leonard.
  • Penny - Leonard and Sheldon's next door neighbor that Leonard really wants to bone. Penny exists primarily to serve as fapbait for the show's male audience, despite the fact that she's played by Kaley Cuoco who is, at best, a 6/10. This is probably why despite being a main character, the writers haven't even cared enough to give her a last name. Penny is studying to become an actress, which we can only assume is a euphemism for the fact that she probably sucks cock for a living, given her frequent duckface. There is some sort of ongoing 'will they?/won't they?' romance subplot going on between her and Leonard, but nobody really gives a fuck. She's the polar opposite of the guys when it comes to intellect and sex because, y'know, who's dumb and slutty? BLONDES!!

And the minor characters are:

Fandom

OMG SOOOO FUNNEH!!1

TBBT is much beloved by the sort of untalented, tedious and uncreative people who proclaim themselves to be nerds in a misguided and desperate attempt to make themselves seem interesting and/or cool, so it should come as no surprise that a vast majority of its viewers are 16-year-old girls, hipsters and hipster 16-year-old girls.

Much of the humor of the show comes from making references to things that only nerds are interested in, such as science, sci-fi, fantasy, comic books, the Internet and video games, but such references are often lazily researched and sometimes completely inaccurate which causes any real nerds watching to spazz out in uncontrollable tard rage. Meanwhile, those in the audience who have known the joys of physical love with another person piss themselves laughing because OMG! HE'S PLAYING A NINTENDO 64! LOLZ!!!1 I NEVER PLAYED ONE, BUT VAGUELY REMEMBER THEM!! I'M SUCH A NERD!! XD

The Laugh Track

The Big Bang Theory is infamous for its highly intrusive laugh track, not entirely dissimilar to the mirthless laugh of the damned, that it uses to ensure that the viewers at home know exactly when something is funny, as well as to make its pedestrianly written scripts seem funnier than they actually are (oftentimes, having the exact opposite effect).

It has been noticed however, that if the laugh track is removed, the show ceases to be a comedy and instead, turns into a harrowing and compelling drama about the trials of living with autism.


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Featured article April 13 and 14, 2013
Preceded by
Margaret Thatcher
The Big Bang Theory Succeeded by
Encyclopædia Dramatica
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