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Tay Zonday

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online hubris: Tay Zonday
Tay Zonday relieving himself on camera
Ooh, right in the chocolate raindrops.

T(G)ay Zonday, (whose real name is Adam [1]), is a spastic nice guy and internet phenomenon. He rose to the attention of /b/ after singing Chocolate Rain, a song in which he sings about the social and psycholgical impact of Jenkem abuse in niggerdom. All of his songs feature the same goddamn piano hook for five straight fucking minutes. Tay acknowledges that the song is shit, and deems it 'shit', much like Tay Zonday Version 2.

 
 
wow interesting. This is the American dream. A nobody that becomes great.
 

 

—vampov, on Cherry Chocolate Rain

 
 
omg i fuckin hate his shit like are you serious your a fuckin retard your 25 and all you sing about is some chocolate rain
 

 

—alecia00, telling the truth

Contents

Chocolate Rain

Now in gif form

The song was shown to Anon on the outskirts of /b/ during July 11th, and has quickly eclipsed the time honored Rickroll, having been deemed the "Tayroll". This was helped in part by Carson Daly shitting all over the Rickroll a month prior. In the song, Mr. Zonday performs his patented Stealth Breathing technique, wherein **he moves away from the mic to breathe in, or possibly check out obese white women. (I suppose he's never heard of a noise gate?) This, however, is total bullshit because everyone knows that Tay Zonday is a fucking cyborg hell bent on raining chocolate all over North America. It's said that the song is really about the explosive diarrhea he gets from eating KFC. Lyrics can be found here. [Please Check Tay Zonday Version 2]

Tolate.jpg


UPDATE Not only can this tree nigga not speak more than two words without mentally masturbating about his "Chocolate Rain", but he also looks like he's smoked a big fat pound of the stickiest of the icky and it has become clear through highly analytical analysis and sophisticated science, the reason he turns his head, is not because he is "Stealth Breathing" like the clever genius that he is, but his mother just returned from KFC with a big bucket of fried chicken and he is deliberating whether to continue this retarded song, or go get him some hot wings. Either that, or he spotted the police who just busted in after finding his jenkem stash under a rock.


FACT: When watching the video, if you were to pause at any time while Zonday is singing the words 'Chocolate Rain', you would get a hilarious expression, a trademark of Tay's. Also, if you were to take each and every frame of said hilarity, put them together and play them backwards, he would be mouthing the words of Martin Luther King's speech. Not to mention the repetitive tune will fucking brainwash you, making little kids scream chocolate rain and run around with their satanic cuddly mudkips.

When Science created a Supermeme

Tayroll takes YouTube by storm.

Although at first, Zonday was wary of the sudden burst in popularity he'd received from 4chan, he eventually embraced it. On July 18th, Tay Zonday released a cover version of Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give you Up, and ascended the ranks of epic win, using his knowledge in Computer Science III to combine two of the greatest memes of our time. The video was deemed Tayroll by its creator, and noone objected.


Tayroll'd.

Previous Video  |  Next Video

Tayroll.png

What Does Chocolate Rain do?

This music creates an incredibly unfunny nuisance among human peoples. A few people (who are mostly 13 year old boys) die every day from listening to it. Also, this song has driven people insane and caused them to murder. You will regret listening to it, or make someone else regret it[2]. Srsly don't do it.

^^OMFGLOLROFLOLLMAOOMGZOMGLOLOLULOLHOLYSHITEXAMPLEPISSSSSSSPERFECTEXAMPLE^^


TAY ZONDAY VERSION 2 Breaking News, there is a New Tay Zonday. He is a niggerfag, who complains that he is not Tay, but in fact looks just like him. He goes by the name of BigBrotherWii, and can be frequently found on Blog TV.

http://www.blogtv.com/People/BigBrotherWii

Tay Zonday expressing his feelings towards fanboys.

Physical proof that Tay likes buttsecks.

July 26th - ZonDay

OJ played the piano too. Coincidence? I think not.

On July 26th, Zonday released yet another epic video entitled 'Internet Dream'. Moments after it was released, YouTube staff recognized Zonday as an Internet deity and put the top Chocolate Rain-related videos on the front page all day and posted a blog declaring that July 26th is officially ZonDay.

Also on July 26th, Moot showed that he still cares about Anon, and decked out /b/ in honor of ZonDay, adding Chocolate Rain references everywhere, including an embedded remix of the song. You can listen to it here. However, constant MySQL connection failures made everything extremely unfunny.

You can view the YouTube page, preserved for purity, here.

Intertube Dreamz

In that video at 2:10, he impersonates his mom. That's what she really sounds like!

Shut all the blinds, oh, you might've been seen watching this crap.

Shittin' alone with your Internet Dream!

July 31st

A radio station in England talked about Tay and his chocolate rain song this happened at about 01:48 in radio1 link and again at 01:55 A YouTube video was made of this yt link

August 9th

Tay Zonday performs on Jimmy Kimmel Live; the beginning of Tay selling out

Comments show that no matter how bloated he becomes on McDonald's and drugs 16-yr old girls will still fawn for his AIDS stick

Choqlit Reign Verizon Wireless commercial.

August 10th

Tay Zonday owner of the internets makes it onto "This Morning" in the UK

August 14

Muslim extremists took advantage of an JewTube exploit and reduced Tay Zonday's number of subscribers to zero, taking him from number one to over nine thousand.

The Only Way

[3] AKA Chocolate Rap, The Only Way proudly continues Zonday's string of lulzy videos. The song, akin to Choqlit Reighn, attempts to make some sort of political statement. This of course falls flat on its face due to the fact that all Tay's lyrics are batshit insane. From what can be understood, Zonday "raps" about materialism like 50 Cent, but then pulls a Bono and rants about third world, sending many mixed messages. He cuts through all that by proclaiming that he's the mystical offspring of Captain Planet and Raptor Jesus. The chorus consists of an autistic repetition of "The Only W-W-W-W-W-W-W-WAY is Tay ZOND-D-D-D-D-D-D-DAY." Also [HE CANT HEAR YOU].

UPDATE: THIS IS NOT A BRAG TRACK
According to Gay Zonday, he states "THIS IS NOT A COCKY BRAG TRACK! "Tay Zonday" symbolizes education and consciousness. The lyrical symbolism is pretty deep and this is perhaps the most selfless song that I've written." Zonday is finally selling his used-to-be-free music, even though nobody will ever buy it.

August 18

Tay Zonday appeared on CNN and was interviewed by some other nigra. He asked him some gay questions and they had a great time.

September 3

NIGGA CAN'T DANCE

An example of early Chocolate Rain 34

Aside from his uncanny skills in moving away from the mic , its pretty obvious that when it comes to dancing, Tay happens to have two left feet testicles. So to compensate for his prior 'Brag track', he decided to write a more depriving song. But dont worry, he still comes off as self-absorbed in the end. At first the only golden moment is when he says, "Some like to salsa dance," and pretends to choke down a big Mexican dick. But then his face contorts and he grabs his ass, taking his own butthurt and almost turning it into an austere taunt. Then the screen goes piss-yellow, and Zonday does what he does best; making a spectacle and being a complete idiot in the process.

September 23

In a ten minute vlog highlighting his "surprise" visit to meet the JewTube staff, it has finally been confirmed that Tay Zonday is, in fact, a human being. It's also been confirmed that Tay is from, and currently resides in the internets (2:50 in at 7:12). It is also revealed he wears make-up. What a fag.

October 4th

Tay has now released so many fucking songs on JewTube his ego has exploded and formed new life in Iraq, meanwhile, people continue to slate him for being big headed and making shit songs.

October 29th

My Ego is Too Big For You

**Anonymous Delivers

Just when we thought that he couldn't get any worse. He spends the entire song bragging about his shoes that he bought from a 99 cent store 5 minutes before filming the video. Despite dedicating an entire song about his inability to dance, he insists on showing off his dance moves that make Rick Astley look good. At the end, he makes another reference to aliens.

November 16th

Last Laugh (at Tay)

Anon didn't think too much of this. One incident of selling out isn't really a big deal, especially if it's for a shitty commercial that barely anyone saw. However, this was foreshadowing for things to come the next week.

November 23rd

Tay did WTC!

Having succumbed to acidic levels of failure; Zonday delivers another putrid performance to the tune of Amazing Grace. But this time to prove he means serious business, he slurs out a patriotic ballad about September Eleventh that would surely make the eagles cry. Too bad the Internet Hate Machine that made him popular doesn't give a flying fuck about 9/11, except maybe to mock and blame others. The video might have been filmed somewhere near WTC's ruins, but the camerawork is too schizophrenic to tell. So basically you get a sappy song and a close-up of his ugly Gremlin face. Now if only a plane would hit Tay Zonday, amirite?

Ironically, the idea that Tay did 9/11 has been around for awhile. Maybe those Jews really are off the hook HA, HA! DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS!

November 28th

**I Move Away From the Mic to Sell Out

As of Wednesday, November 28th 2007 Tay Zonday has sold out and has become a corporate whore. But he is yet to face the unfettered wrath of Anonymous, the very force that propelled him to e-fame. So it created this supermeme, so it can reduce Tay to a miserable pile of BAWWWWWWWW, just like every other lolcow they've milked. You should've given us more credit than this "internet thing" Tay.

Note the subtle reference to Anon at 2:12, with the cherry where our "no picture available" should be. Silly old nigger, we want moar than that.

Also, note the dead squirrel at 2:30 (22 sec remaining). It's raid time, bitch!

At 2:40 it looks like he got cummed on by another negro.

February 12th 2008

Tay invades the UK, noone watches [4].

March who the hell cares 2008

This fag got a mention on both cracked.com and whocareskillthisuglyniggeralready.com. This internet really is something, huh. HIV positive about that. http://www.cracked.com/video_16069_week-in-douchebaggery-5-biggest-d-bags-from-zonday.html

April 2nd 2008

Tay appears in a South Park episode along with many other memes.

LOL VIDEO BALEETED Mneh, here it is

With a voice even deeper and disturbing than the original, he claimed that he's the top internet star and more important than the other JewTube stars. Everyone started to argue about which meme is the best and it quickly turned into a violent brawl. Zonday used a handgun to shoot and kill Star Wars Kid and almost killed Chris Crocker after saying, "Get ready for some Chocolate Pain, bitch!" After killing the sneezing panda's mom, Zonday faced the back of the only other survivor, Drama Prairie Dog, and said, "Thought I forgot about you, gopher!?" The mammal turns around and stares at Zonday, causing his brain to explode. As his body falls, his handgun inexplicably fires and kills the final meme.

Other memorable quotes:

"Nothing takes priority over Chocolate Rain!"

"You better shut your fucking mouth, laughing baby."

"You all wanna motherfucking die!?"

"Get ready for some Chocolate Pain, bitch."

April 3rd 2008

Chocolate rain immortalized on a man's lulzy Retard's bicep. This thing should be forbidden and punished by law.

April 4th 2008

Tay's #3 on teh charts, but #1 in our hearts... for today, anyway.

April 4th was The Rolling Stones on YouTube Day, and while the rock and roll zombies known as Mick Jagger and Keith "Captain Ghey" Richards graced us with their (barely there) presence, they simply could not top Zonday's vid, since privatized.

The only good thing that might come out of this, should Tay's "Internet Celebrity" status go straight to Hell, is he'll have a second career as a Mississippi Delta bluesman; he's practically halfway there, seeing as he sold his soul to the Devil and all.

The Disappearing VLOG

Tay begins to vlog, and explains how much he thinks vlogging is bullshit. He continues by inventing something called "The Disappearing Vlog", which most argue is actually called Deleting your YouTube Videos.

True to its name, he would also privatize this video.

June 5th 2008

Tay Zonday gets interviewed by a popular New Zealand radio station 'The Edge'

The Maury Show

Tay has recently featured on the Maury Show on an episode where they, in a shocking display of originality, showed internet videos to the crowd rather than a man afraid of peaches or yet another episode of straight paternity testing.

July 26th 2008

The anniversary of Interbutt Dream and the second annual Zonday. However, any *chan that's worth a shit is offline thanks to the recent DDoS attack. Will this be the year the furfags stole Christm- er, Zonday?

November 6th 2008: A CHALLENGER APPEARS

Big Papa, the King of the Streets, makes a surprise appearance on Tay Zonday live stream broadcast. Beware: Tay has a ban-paddle.


Tay's Skyrim Theme

Criticism

Some argue that Zonday is merely an Jew who used the death of Kirby Puckett to position himself as the second biggest black celebrity in Minnesota, after Prince. However, this is unlikely as neither Prince nor Zonday have ever been confirmed to actually be black. Anyone who thinks that joke was funnier the way Chris Rock told it should note that it wasn't stolen, because the addition of Tay Zonday made it better.

Gallery of Zonday

Zonday Gallery About missing Pics

Moar Rain

See also

External Links


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