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Dancing With Smurfs

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Official film poster
The OG. Lord Rama, the 7th incarnation (avatar) of the Hindu god Vishnu.
Avatar Rule 34 Lite.

Avatar (Pronounced Nig-a-tar) is a remake of the documentary Crude: The Real Price Of Oil. It is the first of three three-hour long 3-D Greenpeace commercials from James Cameron (the guy who made Titanic, Terminator and Piranha: Part Two), a director so talented and visionary that he needed €500,000,000 ($620 million in 'murican money) to make a "test movie" with some shitty "digital 3D" equipment he made, with a story that rips off Fern Gully, Dancing with Wolves and Pocahontas. It is renowned by many of its viewers for having the best visuals since Crysis. Millions of dollars and 6,103,493 metric tons of CO2 emissions later, we now have hundreds of furfags wanting to become 10' tall colored folk who live in jungles and ride around on pterodactyls while trying to fight against The Man. And all of this just to at a later point in James' life make some live action adaptation of a manga called "Battle Angel Alita" by Yukito Kishiro, and with the same shitty "digital 3D" equipment he used for this movie. Fans of "Battle Angel Alita" raged everywhere when James Cameron announced he would make three more avatar movies before he'd begin to work on BAA, making BAA fanbois wonder if their promised trilogy will end up like another famous movie trilogy.

The budget for Avatar is disputed but a deep throat from /tv/ states:


 
 
Lets get this straight

Avatar cost some 500 million euros (remember, it was filmed in Europe) thus adjusted to dollars its budget was about 978,21 million so to make it even it must earn 1.5 times more than its original budget plus its marketing costs. And marketing was humongous abroad, again remember this is the first time India is seeing foreign movie. So marketing was about 100 million in europe (euros of course) 200 million ounces of gold in asia (those countries are very corrupted thus marketing was done by gold) and of course India where production team had to build second Taj Mahal as a gift to Indian people who were victims of american invasion during ww2 and killing all those tribes. Final budget is hard to estimate because Cameron and his russian partners (Titanic was made with russian mafia, remember those boats were all russians) fleed from country with all documents so it is somewhere between 4.3 billion dollars to 5.1 billion dollars so it has to earn about 7 billion to make it even. That is imbossible because foreign countries ticket is around 0.10 cent and there isn't simply enough people to cover all these budget holes what is known as Avatar :(

sad really. Maybe I am alone but I kind of liked it. It was semi good peace of cartoon for children.
 


 

—A fine and informative fellow from /tv/.


Contents

Plot

Avatar in a Nutshell
Otherkins approve of this film.
Avatar is just Pocahontas retooled. You know it's true

An evil corporation called RDA is hellbent on pwning the indigenous people of the planet Pandora for all their Unobtainium. It is never explained what Unobtanium is needed for, but one can presume that - since it's the year 2154 - it's high tech meth. The Jew who's there, Parker Selfridge, says that it's worth over 9000 million dollars per pound, and has Jew for the amount of money that can be made, but his military contractor's leaderfag, Colonel Quaritch, is essentially a warmongering, racist, closet homo redneck maniac who just wants to kill everything with fire for the lulz and assrape Jake Sully, a crippled war vet who's only signed up with the mission to get his penis back.

The indigenous Na'vi prevail but only with the help of that chick Ripley from Aliens, a traitorous helicopter pilot and a jarheaded, crippled species traitor who switches sides after doing love with one of the local Na'vi chicks while he's running around the jungle dressed in a Na'vi fursuit spying on them. Ripley tries to explain that Pandora's trees are neurally interconnected entities and they shouldn't fuck with them, but RDA doesn't care and starts to holocaust the Na'vi's tree fort, Home Tree.

After Home Tree gets nuked by the RDA, the Na'vi turn on Jake Sully as a double agent for the Skywalkers. However, Jake is already pussy whipped to the point of no return and determined to prove himself to the Na'vi. He mounts and pwns Pandora's most vicious predator, a gigantic orange dragon thingy the Na'vi revere as something beyond Godly. Appearing before his Na'vi tribe astride the great beastie, Jake finally earns their respect, and with his newfound Messiah complex instructs them to gather all Pandora's disparate clans to try and fight off the far superior RDA. The odds are long, as the Na'vi may have the numbers, but are armed only with bows and arrows. However, they valiantly counterattack, Kamikaze style. Things are not looking good for the Na'vi, but on the verge of defeat, Al Gore appears with the Animal Liberation Front and pwns the RDA and Quaritch, who had a hissy fit about not teaching Jake to be a real man. The RDA are then rounded up and permab& from Pandora, much like how the Viet Kong kicked America out of Saigon. In the end,Jake becomes a dickless,ball-less black person. All of this takes place with an obvious advantage given to the Na'vi, one unbelievable even for a fantasy/sci-fi movie. The moral of the story is that humanity is a fail for getting pawned against tree huggers and that you can never, ever trust a jew.

At least the planet is original...right?

With a line of eco-friendly Zeta toys set to go, it is also about to pwn all your money for X-Mas gifts, vidya games, theme park rides, and Halloween costumes next year. If that wasn't bad enough, since it has a made-up language specifically created for the movie by a USC professor, you will soon be verbally assaulted by otherkin faggots who think they are actually Na'vi. You mark my words, by next summer, we will be hearing about Na'vi as a second language courses at colleges, Na'vi weddings, Na'vi communes, a Na'vi religion, Na'vi conventions, and all manner of creepy, pervy fanfic, giving the previous king of all nerd languages, Klingon, a run for its money. Literally.

There is evidence (in terms of both the script that was used for the final film, and the initial scriptment that Cameron wrote some years earlier) that Cameron's initial idea was considerably more impressive than what we got in the final film. It was also, however, much more weird and less mainstream, so the suits presumably forced him to dumb things down, in order to ensure that it would make money.

The movie can be seen in its entirety here.

Avatar trailer.

Super Awesome Fanwank Cut

After Avatar was inflicted upon the unfortunate population, James Cameron decided that he would rerelease the movie again and again until his vision was realised. This was achieved by fucking around with the movie by changing scenes, adding new and utterly pointless scenes with blatantly obvious special effects, and most importantly, changing the line about Jake's brother being shot to Jake's brother being STABBED. Because as we all know, nobody has guns in the future except the military. The entire intro was replaced with an earlier version which is almost identical to the bar brawl intro from Star Trek.

The Blu Ray release allows you to fap to the altered scenes in isolation, as well as watch over 9000 hours of actors running around placeholder CGI sets. If you actually enjoy this, you need a life, you sick, sad furry.

The Avatars

Don't tickle me, Mister Marine!
SCREW YOU FAGS, I'M THE FUCKING BLUE MEME AROUND HERE!

The avatars are genetic hybrids human and Na'vi DNA (science weeps at this point) specifically designed to infiltrate Pandora's native habitats to further the evil American mining corporation's pwnage of the planet's natural resources since Global Warming has pwned all of planet Earth's. Each avatar is a physical body that only comes to life when mentally linked to its human counterpart whilst napping in coffins. An avatar cannot function if its human counterpart is awake IRL. For example, an avatar will lie around comatose in the Na'vi jungle about to be crushed by a bulldozer by evil RDA contractors if he or she is fucking around eating scrambled eggs in the avatar lab. In other words: Human-Shaped Smurfs!!

The Na'vi

Hitler was impressed with na'zis racial abilities.
The Na'vi on Pandora.
The inspiration for Avatar.

The Na'vi are a race of pro-ana Warcraft's night elves with bones made of carbon fiber that live in floating mountains and ride around on giant chickens. They all have a number of tiny penises in braided pubes coming out of their heads and enjoy bestiality with giant 6 legged landseahorses and vegetables. They are depicted as a peaceful people who never fight in wars, and they cry every time an animal dies. They have big lips, flared nostrils, stand at over 10 feet tall, coarse black hair styled in braids and tribal markings on their skin. Na'vi people apparently have a spiritual connection with every flesh-eating monstrosity on Pandora and can talk to trees by sticking branches into their brains. As weapons, they use arrows tipped with a potent neurotoxin. The arrows are about six feet long with a head the size of your arm, but don't worry; it's the neurotoxin that will get you, not the six foot pole sticking out of your chest. Na'vis have USB 15.0 powered braids, which are used to connect with nature--seriously, they can only ride a pterodactyl if they force their USB braid to connect with that of the animal, and the animal will stick with them for life, like a beaten redneck wife. All animals on Pandora have this plug 'n' play interface.

Na'vi religion

Na'vi religion is a new age cult. It has tree worship and Jew. Ceremonies include sticking USB powered braids to the Tree of Souls and hearing voices during the Na'vi ceremony known as Di'kinas. Swarms of furries have already accepted it as a replacement for Atheism.

The Na'vi Language

Na'vi language sounds like, like, when Americans are trying to pronounce foreign names. As the movie's budget began to exceed the GDP of all of Thailand, James Cameron decided to spend a good portion on professional language specialists in order for them to create a made up language of nonsensical words. His goal is to undermine the Klingon language, Esperanto, and Elvish as the speech of choice for nerds. All the alien words spoken in the film follow this formula:

  • Take a sentence, e.g. "My skin is blue, so fuck yall!"
  • Add random apostrophes and extra letters:"My sk'inn is b'luue, so'h fh'ook yal'lle!"
  • Rearrange the words so they make less sense, then add some extra alien grammar:"Sk-my Ich bu-lle, shit'o shat'um ha’ shägn plegh ya'llek!"
  • Kksas phalanan ghyalanal Alhazzared G’yeth G’yeth! Oh fuck - you just summoned Cthulhu.

The RDA

Lightly armed RDA Helicopter

The stereotypical evil corporation that wants to burn, shoot and rape everything that moves. They have giant robot fighting suits, twelve-story bulldozers, and helicopters with over 9,000 missiles, yet they go and spend billions on the most sophisticated fursuit in history just so the movie's titular characters can yiff to their hearts' content. Led by a heartless middle-level management pencil pusher, they are on Pandora to mine minerals that fetch a gazillion dollars a kilo and shoot furry blue hippies. They attempt to destroy the Na'vi with dozens of helicopter gunships and a small army, when parachuting in a crate of whiskey would have been far more effective, that or unleashing smallpox. Not to mention that it look the exact same as a Hornet from the Halo series. Way to copy everything you can possible fucking think of James Cameron.

Main Characters

The elusive Unobtanium
Neytiri
  • Pandora - The drug-induced hallucination of a planet director James Cameron dreamed up whilst naked in the Vegas desert high on peyote, LSD, and mead after seeing a Blue Man Group performance when he was a 12-year-old boy. On Pandora, trees are conected like internets.
  • Jake Sully - A crippled Marine who takes the place of his twin scientist brother as his avatar's "driver" thanks to the DNA shared with his brother. Jake Sully is like you, who installs World of Warcraft, chooses the blue female night elf, and then in a couple of sleepless nights saves the universe. Jake is wheelchair-bound courtesy of Nigerians during another mission and has been promised a new set of legs by the SPACE MARINES if he succeeds in infiltrating the Na'vi and reporting his findings on the tribe's weaknesses. Jake is responsible for the entire plot movement of the movie, simply because without him this would be three hours of watching robots shoot giant smurfs. A nagging thought throughout the film when it comes to Jake is that how come human technology can be so advanced as to have accomplished interstellar flight and generate giant fighting 'Mechs, but no one seems to have given a shit about upgrading the basic design of wheelchairs?
  • Neytiri - The obligatory love interest in the film. She is a fierce Na'vi warrior and daughter of her tribe's leaders. She is also pro ana tomboy with no titties. In fact, she looks very much like a little boy which adds a whole pro-NAMBLA slant to Cameron's already overly abundant "message"-laden film. She is prone to fits of random hissing like a cat and cries when trees get knocked over.
  • Giovanni Ribisi - An evil Scientologist playing an evil corporate capitalist in charge of U.S. corporation RDA's evil Unobtanium mining operation on Pandora. He likes to play golf and drink coffee and scheme and golf and coffee and scheme and coffee.
  • Ripley - The bleeding heart liberal scientist in charge of the Avatar program. Of course she had no idea that the evil mining corporation (RDA) she's working with would use her avatars to rape the indigenous people who refuse to budge from their giant tree fort which sits atop the motherload of all Unobtanium on Pandora. She also has an avatar and prior to the arrival of the gung ho crippled Marine, Jake, tried to set up a school for the Na'vi to promote cross-cultural understanding. The school was soon permab& since the Na'vi are no dummies - they didn't get offered $12, copious amounts of whiskey and venereal diseases so it was no dice.
  • Colonel Quaritch - The generic IRL tough guy leader of the U.S. Marine battalion who are charged with protecting RDA's mining operation and pwning the pissed off natives. Whilst his civilian bosses attempt to avoid bad press back on Earth by negotiating with the black person in an attempt to peaceably relocate them from their beloved tree house to get at the massive load of Unobtainium underneath it, the Colonel would like nothing more than to bomb them and their tree back to the Stone Age; something he attempts to do near the end of the film, and comes disappointingly close to doing. His flying doom-fortress crashes when it's revealed that the same guy who decided the Death Star needed an exposed exhaust port built the flying fortress o' death...and put FOUR massively exposed weak points on it. He's the film's protagonist, when put alongside the tree-fucking Ripley and the furry race-traitor Jake, giving the movie the most tragic ending since Hamlet.
  • Unobtanium - The precious mystery mineral that the RDA wants to get at to pay for the production, marketing and promotion of Avatar. Unobtanium is a combination of crack, oil and Viagra and goes for 20,000,000 Quatloos a kilo.
  • SHODAN - the insane meglomaniac computer program who crash landed to the planet Pandora after her defeat in System Shock 2. Pretending she had anything to do with the plot whatsoever will make the movie awesome.
  • Mr.Drummond- wealthy white widower, who runs the Trans Aillen Co. Housing Development, and was born December 3, 1931 in Manhattan, New York.

Philip has a daughter named Kimberly and two adopted African American brothers: 12-year-old Willis and 8-year-old Arnold Jackson. Arnold and Willis's mother worked for Philip Drummond many years ago, but her death-bed wish was that Mr. Drummond would take care of her two sons. In the first episode of the series, Philip welcomes Arnold and Willis into his home. Arnold quickly becomes attached to his new environment, but Willis nearly ruins it for him by hastily deciding that he and Arnold will move back to Harlem.

Philip starts planning some "quality time" with the family by telling both Arnold and Willis that the whole family will be going on fun trips together. Arnold wants to agree, but Willis destroys his fun, and bosses him around.

3-D Technology: The Last Few Drops of Blood

Are you sure they're not just blue Jews?

Less than a year after the release of Avatar James Cameron finally realizes what it's like to be a tortured genius whose inventions are used for evil. Akin to Albert Einstein jump-starting the Manhattan Project and consequently flooding the world with nuclear weapons, now James Cameron is watching his 3D Fusion Camera System revolution flood the planet in a holocaust of shitty three dimensional movies such as Piranha 3D. James "Bleeding-Heart" Cameron claims that movies like Piranha 3-D are "cheapening" 3-D technology, and making it look bad.

 
 
In fact, I would go even farther and say that… I tend almost never to throw other films under the bus, but [Piranha 3-D] is exactly an example of what we should not be doing in 3-D. Because it just cheapens the medium and reminds you of the bad 3-D horror films from the 70s and 80s, like Friday the 13th 3-D. When movies got to the bottom of the barrel of their creativity and at the last gasp of their financial lifespan, they did a 3-D version to get the last few drops of blood out of the turnip. And that’s not what’s happening now with 3-D. It is a renaissance—right now the biggest and the best films are being made in 3-D. Martin Scorsese is making a film in 3-D. Disney’s biggest film of the year—Tron: Legacy—is coming out in 3-D. So it’s a whole new ballgame.
 

 

—James Cameron, on Piranha 3-D

Unlike Piranha 3-D which has been done before, James Cameron's 3-D technology should be used exclusively for movies which are never-ending torrents of creativity— movies that are new and innovative and groundbreaking, like a movie about a soldier taken in by an indigenous race of people who face being run out of their homes by an imperialistic country that has lost its touch with humanity. Films that try to get the "last few drops of blood from the turnip" by using cheap marketing tactics such as re-releasing a film in less than a year with nine minutes of extra footage give 3-D technology a bad reputation, and should be shunned by real film makers.

Canadian Propaganda Movie

BLUE PEOPLE WITH TAILS
 
 
OMG Its so close yet so far. The movie Avatar just came out today around here, but I dont get to go see it until Weds. but Yay! I'm going to see it! Can't wait! It has blue ppl with tails, and anyone who knows me knows I love them tails. ^^ When im all excited like this, I draw Chibis. I make things I love cute, or I try to. I may edit it after I actually see the movie, because i can only get so much from toys and a few screenshots.
 

 

DA.gif fuzzybum


Mudkipchan: The first (and hottest) Na'vi.

The movie portrays in a negative light all that the USA stands for: war for resources, weapons of mass destruction and fighting terror with terror. However, Canadian issues, like native rights, hunting moose and having sex with different species, are shown as much more positive.

This movie is about how good tree hugging is, how bad capitalism and nation building is, and promoting inter-race marriage and/or bestiality. Just like Star Trek did thirty years ago. Also, Manifest Destiny is bad, m'kay? Yet this film is okay with having a Big Mac meal and Happy Meal Toys at McDonalds. Which is the poster child of evil earth destroying, rain forest depleting, C02 producing corporations worldwide. So basically this anti-war, anti-capitalism film is McDonald's way of buying carbon credits.

  • It should be noted that although Cameron spent the equivalent of the annual GDP of the whole of Africa making this movie, while that continent starves to death and contracts cholera by drinking feces-contaminated water, he did recycle most of the military hardware from his Terminator movies and those from The Matrix and District 9. He even recycled the theme song from Titanic by having someone cover the Celine Dion song with a few minor changes and also recycled some of the names like what the movie is called what planet it takes place on. It's like the creators were watching a shitty Nickelodeon made Anime while playing Borderlands or choosing which online radio station that had the best shit while they were figuring out the names.

Fandom Stuff

Avatar Blues aka The Avatar Effect

Apparently, the movie has psychotherapists and health professionals scrambling to deal with a new neurosis called The Avatar Effect. This is a phenomenon where people - having 'been to' Pandora - get all emo and utterly depressed upon leaving the theatre and going back to their shitty, mundane lives IRL. As of writing, there have been no an heroes directly linked to the Avatar Effect, but people are BAAAWWWWING about the Avatard blues all over the Internets.

 
 
I can totally relate [to people feeling depressed about having to leave the world of Pandora]. I think most us can here. For me, getting to talk to you guys online allows me to feel closer to the movie, or maybe closer to you guys because we can share our feeling and thoughts and friendships. So many things from the movie, like for example the idea of brotherhood we can bring to this very real world of ours.
 

 

Avatard

(CNN) -- James Cameron's completely immersive spectacle "Avatar" may have been a little too real for some fans who say they have experienced depression and suicidal thoughts after seeing the film because they long to enjoy the beauty of the alien world Pandora.

On the fan forum site "Avatar Forums," a topic thread entitled "Ways to cope with the depression of the dream of Pandora being intangible," has received more than 1,000 posts from people experiencing depression and fans trying to help them cope. The topic became so popular last month that forum administrator Philippe Baghdassarian had to create a second thread so people could continue to post their confused feelings about the movie.

"I wasn't depressed myself. In fact the movie made me happy ," Baghdassarian said. "But I can understand why it made people depressed. The movie was so beautiful and it showed something we don't have here on Earth. I think people saw we could be living in a completely different world and that caused them to be depressed."

A post by a user called Elequin expresses an almost obsessive relationship with the film.

"That's all I have been doing as of late, searching the Internet for more info about 'Avatar'. I guess that helps. It's so hard I can't force myself to think that it's just a movie, and to get over it, that living like the Na'vi will never happen. I think I need a rebound movie," Elequin posted.

A user named Mike wrote on the fan Web site "Naviblue" that he contemplated suicide after seeing the movie.

"Ever since I went to see 'Avatar' I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na'vi made me want to be one of them. I can't stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it," Mike posted. "I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in 'Avatar.' "

Other fans have expressed feelings of disgust with the human race and disengagement with reality.

Cameron's movie, which has pulled in more than $1.4 billion in worldwide box office sales and could be on track to be the highest grossing film of all time, is set in the future when the Earth's resources have been pillaged by the human race. A greedy corporation is trying to mine the rare mineral unobtainium from the planet Pandora, which is inhabited by a peace-loving race of 10-foot tall, blue-skinned natives called the Na'vi.

In their race to mine for Pandora's resources, the humans clash with the Na'vi, leading to casualties on both sides. The world of Pandora is reminiscent of a prehistoric fantasyland, filled with dinosaur-like creatures mixed with the kinds of fauna you may find in the deep reaches of the ocean. Compared with life on Earth, Pandora is a beautiful, glowing utopia.

Ivar Hill posts to the "Avatar" forum page under the name Eltu. He wrote about his post-"Avatar" depression after he first saw the film earlier this month.

"When I woke up this morning after watching Avatar for the first time yesterday, the world seemed ... gray. It was like my whole life, everything I've done and worked for, lost its meaning," Hill wrote on the forum. "It just seems so ... meaningless. I still don't really see any reason to keep ... doing things at all. I live in a dying world."

Reached via e-mail in Sweden where he is studying game design, Hill, 17, explained that his feelings of despair made him desperately want to escape reality.

"One can say my depression was twofold: I was depressed because I really wanted to live in Pandora, which seemed like such a perfect place, but I was also depressed and disgusted with the sight of our world, what we have done to Earth. I so much wanted to escape reality," Hill said.

Cameron's special effects masterpiece is very lifelike, and the 3-D performance capture and CGI effects essentially allow the viewer to enter the alien world of Pandora for the movie's 2½-hour running time, which only lends to the separation anxiety some individuals experience when they depart the movie theater.

"Virtual life is not real life and it never will be, but this is the pinnacle of what we can build in a virtual presentation so far," said Dr. Stephan Quentzel, psychiatrist and Medical Director for the Louis Armstrong Center for Music and Medicine at Beth Jew Medical Center in New York. "It has taken the best of our technology to create this virtual world and real life will never be as utopian as it seems onscreen. It makes real life seem more imperfect."

Fans of the movie may find actor Stephen Lang, who plays the villainous Col. Miles Quaritch in the film, an enemy of the Na'vi people and their sacred ground, an unlikely sympathizer. But Lang says he can understand the connection people are feeling with the movie.

"Pandora is a pristine world and there is the synergy between all of the creatures of the planet and I think that strikes a deep chord within people that has a wishfulness and a wistfulness to it," Lang said. "James Cameron had the technical resources to go along with this incredibly fertile imagination of his and his dream is built out of the same things that other peoples' dreams are made of."

The bright side is that for Hill and others like him -- who became dissatisfied with their own lives and with our imperfect world after enjoying the fictional creation of James Cameron -- becoming a part of a community of like-minded people on an online forum has helped them emerge from the darkness.

"After discussing on the forums for a while now, my depression is beginning to fade away. Having taken a part in many discussions concerning all this has really, really helped me," Hill said. "Before, I had lost the reason to keep on living -- but now it feels like these feelings are gradually being replaced with others."

Quentzel said creating relationships with others is one of the keys to human happiness, and that even if those connections are occurring online they are better than nothing.

"Obviously there is community building in these forums," Quentzel said. "It may be technologically different from other community building, but it serves the same purpose."

Within the fan community, suggestions for battling feelings of depression after seeing the movie include things like playing "Avatar" video games or downloading the movie soundtrack, in addition to encouraging members to relate to other people outside the virtual realm and to seek out positive and constructive activities.


 
 
When I woke up this morning after watching Avatar for the first time yesterday, the world seemed grey. It just seems so meaningless. I still don't really see any reason to keep doing things at all. I live in a dying world. I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora.'
 

 

—Avatard


To deal with the Avatar Blues, fan forums such as Avatar-Forums.com have created therapy threads and other assorted coping methods.

Lulz-filled quotes

 
 
(12:31 PM Dec 16th, 2009) I have a feeling I'm the only person alive with no interest in seeing Avatar. Mechs can't carry a predictable shit plot for me, anymore :(


(7:36 AM Jan 12th, 2010) The more I read about Avatar, the more it seems to play to the most delusional psychoses found in the worst corners of the furry fandom.

 


 

—Even the Furfaggot Objectivist God Jay Naylor hates Avatar.

 
 
It was the greatest movie I've ever seen in my entire life... It seemed so real wish it was to... Can't express in words how this movie has made me feel!!! I look at the world differently now. Thank You, James Cameron and all who helped make such an amazing movie!!!
 

 

—A faggot.

 
 
My pleasure. Had to be done. If we can have a religion based on men in dressing gowns that play with swords made of light i don't see why a religion based on blue aliens that are still in touch with the world around them should not be created. So here it is. Vote Na'vi as a religion on the next census it's the right choice for the planet. : )
 

 

—David "Noa" Travis on creating his Na'vi Religion Facebook group.

 
 
This is a group for those who are interested in the Na'vi language and/or want to learn it. The movie Avatar just came out yesterday and information is still scarce, so let's try to share as much information as we can.
 

 

—From the Learn Na'vi Facebook group.

 
 
I might get trolled for this to the point of no return. I don't give a fuck.

let this quote be archived on this forum through all eternity...


Avatar was the best movie I have ever seen. Not because of the 3D, not because of the world it is set in, and not because of the giant blue cats. The message it portrayed is what I found so attractive. I never thought a movie would affect me so deeply, but it has. I've changed my outlook on the world, and from what I've seen... the world is fucking disgusting. Everyone is fucking selfish and power hungry. No one gives a shit about anything else. Just me, me, fucking me.

Let's take a step back for a minute. Way back. Back to the pilgrimage. Europe's arrival into North America. It is estimated that a total of 18 million Native Americans lived in North America before the 18th century. Less than 250,000 remained at the end of the 19th century. That's 17,750,000 people DEAD, yet no one acknowledges it. It was in fact the largest genocide in American history. I couldn't even begin to put that in perspective for you. For what? Gold? Land? The saddest part is, those were the exact reasons. How many natives have remained untouched by Europe since their culture's beginning? None. Not one single person. Well... I guess when someone is sitting on shit you want, you make them your enemy, so your justified in taking it.

Now to answer the overwhelming question. My reason for being so butthurt. Neytiri and the Na'vi people are tall, blue, and look like cats. Yet, they are perfect. No hate, discrimination, or injustice. I'd like to equate them to the Native Americans. In tune with nature, their gods, and themselves. Of course they weren't perfect. They warred with neighbors over land, commodities, and their beliefs. But would they ever go as far as to destroy entire cities and destroy hundreds of thousands of lives to prove a point? No. Somehow they got their points off just fine. I guess I'm just so pissed at people's ignorance that I need to vent it somewhere. The best place for that is the internet. You can always just walk away if things aren't going your way. In real life, you can't. You preach your ideas and the world will chew you up and shit you out. That's the harsh reality of it all.

The Native Americans had respect. Respect for everything and everyone. Today, you shoot a cow in the fucking head and chop it up for dinner with zero thought put into it. Let me just embed this into your head. That cow had a soul. It had everything you and I have except the voice and the mind to express it. The Native Americans realized that. They realized nothing should be destroyed without recognition. That cow might as well have been a person. The day you walk up to a person, shoot him in the head, toss him in the grinder and serve him up for dinner without a care in the world, is the day all life on this planet loses complete meaning.

Now comes the absolute center of existence. The meaning of life. Sex. This next bit is for you, Ask. Pay the fuck attention. Personally, I refuse to fuck any girl until she's proven not to be an ignorant, self centered bitch. With me, all are guilty until proven innocent. That makes me weird, huh? That makes me crazy? Well, enjoy your meaningless lives. Live to fuck right? Enjoy lying on your deathbed, thinking back on your life. Think about what you've done for the world. Fucking nothing. Nothing at all. You've just taken your entire life. Never given back. You might as well not have lived in the first place. The day I find a woman that realizes that is the day my life is complete.

So why am I so attracted to this fictional woman? Because she is the only person, real or not, who I have ever seen my entire life who appreciates just that. Life. The desire to do good for someone else. For everyone else. For the planet. She has the magic three factors which define my perfect woman: beauty, intelligence, and charisma. For that, I would fuck her sideways. If I could be with her, then for the rest of my life I would be happy. Sadly, that will never happen. So, I guess I'll just have to find that woman. To me it seems that this woman doesn't exist. She will never exist. Never again at least. She might have existed. If she did, she was most likely a Native American. Hell, she might have been fucking Pocahontas. Maybe I was fucking John Smith in a past life. I'll never know. Just saying that maybe that's why this shit is effecting me so much.

Wake up now, faggots. Either open your fucking eyes or kill yourself. Do something with your life or make room for someone who will. This movie has changed my outlook on life. From now on I'm going to start picking up my grades, continue searching for that perfect woman, and get a grip on my life before it's too late. Those of you who can't respect that, I feel kind of sorry for you. You could be making a difference, but you won't. You never will. I don't give a shit whether it took a movie to show me this. It's opened my eyes nonetheless and I plan to make something of myself.
 


 

—Some Avatar obsessed 15 year old

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Message of a Film

After seeing this movie and staying up WAY too late a few nights, I realized the truth about this movie. Everything in this movie is a metaphor for real life and World of Warcraft... We have Jak. His brother died, he's crippled, he has no friends, and he's just moved to a new job, so he's pretty depressed. He doesn't like his new co-workers. They're massive nerds and well...he isn't. But they introduce him to their favorite game, World of Warcraft, and they all get trial accounts, knowing that the trial period is only 3 months. After that, if they don't pay, everything crumbles. So he joins, creating a Night Elf character alongside his co-workers. thrilled to find that he can do everything in the game that he couldn't do in real life. He has friends, he can walk again, and as he learns to play the game, he meets guildmates, earns a mount, and when leveled up enough, gets a flying mount. Yay! He even gets an online girlfriend! But you can see his decline in the real world. He starts out balancing the game and work, as you can see him submitting reports to his boss, doing presentations, ect. But soon, he stops excercising, getting in bad physical shape. He eventually stops showing up to meetings at work, so his bosses investigate. When their bosses find that they've been playing WoW at work instead of doing their job, they're all fired. While they're all leaving after being fired, their former supervisor, Quaritch, launches a lecture at them for wasting their lives in a video game (Represented as him firing off "wild gunshots" at them). The only one who takes it to heart is Ripley, and it slowly starts eating away at her. Since they can no longer play WoW at work, they all end up getting an apartment together in the middle of nowhere. His co-workers take pity on him since he's crippled, but even they notice his decline and even take pity on him, ignoring his lack of hygiene, forcing him to eat, and such. Eventually, their free subscriptions run out. This causes his real-world life to crumble around him, starting with one of his co-workers (Ripley) finally taking the advice the Supervisor gave in his lecture, quitting WoW, and getting a new job, realizing that it's time to move on and stop wasting her life. The guild tries to convince her to stay, but she's done with the game and deletes her character. This causes a schism between her and the two WoW players, so she ends up moving out and they both declare her "Dead" to them and to the entire guild. So Jak and his roomate pool together the last of their money to buy accounts and pay for internet service. The final part of the movie is Jak finally being able to unite several night-elf clans to start going on Raids together. However, the money is running out. Eventually, even his best friend tires of the raids and realizes that it's time to move on in life, so he quits WoW and leaves in the middle of a massive raid... In the end, he drives out the real world, fully escaping into his fantasy world of night elves...as he's shattered his real life to the point that he has nothing to go back to. Even when his former boss, fearing for his safety, finally tracks down his apartment, which he's now alone in, and tries to pull him away from his fantasy world, Jak lashes out at him And when Jak's online girlfriend lashes out at the boss to Jak, the boss realizes how far gone he is and finally leaves forever, becoming "Dead" to Jak just like his former friends... So the movie ends with Jak's real life being non-existant as he spends the last of his days with his guild as his physical self starves and wastes away in the cold lonelyness of his apartment in the wreckage of his former life. With all this in mind, the movie makes a hell of a lot more sense, including why the Na'vi and their world seems a helluva lot better than the "real" human world. And all the antagonistic attempts by his bosses, the "Marine Commander" and "Corporate executive", were actually attempts to get him to do his job and to stop wasting his life on a video game, which he sees as horrible, genocidal acts in his warped mind. Anyone who's not in the game is "Dead" to him. It's truly a sad tale and has a way better message, a warning about taking a game too seriously. The bizarre part is that the more you look at it this way, the better it works. Better than most of the hippy BS messages the movie is intending to throw at you, to say the least...

How the movie should have ended

Avatards are invading Jewtube

LARP
Na'vi XXX
Cool story, bro.
Fan (crappy) dub of the trailer.
James Cameron wants to Yiff a fan.
Avatar In 8 Seconds.
How do I shot Na'vi?
Become a Na'vi in 10 seconds

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Village People

Fuck Krystal, to hell with Renamon and who cares about Gardevoir; this will be the new Furry Goddess.

The Na'vi can be really friendly creatures, as anyone can notice. We have taken the time to gather some samples of songs that show their hospitality toward complete strangers.

 
 
In the Na'vi

You can hug a lot of trees
In the Na'vi
You can be a big furry
In the Na'vi
You can make Fox richer-y
In the Na'vi
In the Na'vi
We want you
We want you
We want you as a new recruit
We want you
We want you
We want you in a blue fursuit


 


 

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Gly' uoemela' rleie About missing Pics

Colonel Quaritch does not give a single fuck

What does Col. Quaritch not give a fuck about? About missing Pics

See Also

Tree-Huggers are all the same, in general...

External Links

The Big Mac is the official food of Pandora. RDA's ultimate goal.
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