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Sacha Baron Cohen

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Info non-talk.png His other personas and characters may be found here, example you are lurking for Uber Brüno !?

Sacha Baron Cohen (aka Borat, Ali G and Brüno) is an unfunny Jewish actor/comedian who has managed to induce a high number of footbullets and self-pwns due to his epic sockpuppet IRL trolling. Proof of Baron Cohen's Judaism is found in the name of his production company called Four By Two which is Cockney rhyming slang for Jew.

Contents

Borat

Borat reports from the annual running of the Jews. "There you go kids, crush that Jew egg before it hatches."
Borat at home with village rapist (left) and gypsy hunter (right).
Trolling Kazakhstan, Kuwait-style, also a nice comment to this video

Borat Sagdiyev is a well-respected Kazakh journalist with a deep love for Amur-i-ka, he boasts a lengthy resume, which includes news reporting in Albania and Moldova. Typical of Jewish comedies in the style of Will and Grace, Borat's productions compensate for the absence of taste by using an overflow of gay innuendos. Lately he has turned his focus from straight reporting to public awareness. In 1969, he spent time in England and America trying to capture the essence of western culture, including democracy and freedom, for the people of Kazakhstan.

Personal Beliefs

Mr. Sagdiyev's values are deeply rooted in Kazakh tradition. In the true spirit of cultural tolerance through the free exchange of ideas, he tries to broaden the horizons of those he visits while learning about their customs. One especially notable act of Borat "giving back" was a crowd-pleasing performance in an Arizona country music bar, where he sang the hit Kazakh song "Throw The Jew Down The Well (So My Country Can Be Free)." It is about the plight of Jews in Kazakhstan. The chorus is:

Throw the Jew down the well
So my country can be free
You must grab him by his horns
Then we have a big party

Besides the Jews, he is also sensitive to the plight of gays, gypsies, pigs and women (in that order).

Recently, however, a Jewish actor named Sasha Cohen sparked controversy for Borat by impersonating the newsman on TV, he lampooned Kazakh's time-honored customs such as incest and rape. This caused the Kazakhstan government to publicly speak out against Mr. Sagdiyev, ban him from their internet, and threaten frivolous litigation. In order to set the record straight, Borat posted the following on his website:

In response to Mr. Ashykbayev's comments, I'd like to state I have no connection with Mr. Cohen and fully support my Government's decision to sue this Jew. Since the 2003 Tuleyakiv reforms, Kazakhstan is as civilized as any other country in the world. Women can now travel on inside of bus, homosexuals no longer have to wear blue hats, and age of consent has been raised to eight years old. Please, captain of industry; I invite you to come to Kazakhstan where we have incredible natural resources, hardworking labor, and some of the cleanest prostitutes in whole of central Asia. Chenquieh!


Quotes

 
 
Great success!
 

 

 
 
(After a long wet French Kiss) This is my sister. She is 4th best prostitute in whole Kazakhstan.
 

 

 
 
Sexy time!
 

 

 
 
He decided not to fly by air, in case the Jews repeated their attacks of 9/11.
 

 

 
 
How dare you make hand-party all over Pamela!!
 

 

 
 
(After asking Pamela Anderson to marry him) Agreement is not necessary.
 

 

 
 
I am a homosexual.
 

 

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Fame and Fortune

Borat enjoys some time in Paris.

Last November, Borat hosted the MTV Europe Awards in Lisbon, his fame had reached such massive proportions that it could no longer be contained within a television set.

The documentary Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (commissioned by the Kazakh Government) takes a look at the American people, their culture and psyche as seen through the eyes of Mr. Sagdiyev. His previous assignments have made him as beloved by the American people as they are to him, except for the Jews, who make it necessary for him to travel by road and rail, "in case the Jews repeated their attack of 9/11."

Recently, a couple frat boys have filed a defamation lawsuit against Borat, alleging they were tricked into making racist and sexist remarks on camera. The students were told the name of their school and fraternity wouldn't be used, but after Borat bought them a round of drinks, the two idiots signed a release form.

Sadly, Borat's exploits has resulted in a cancer that is spreading. After his movie came out, people were quoting it whenever possible to the tune of "very nice!" or the ever-infuriating "my name-a Borat." While vaguely amusing at first, these hilarious one-liners quickly pissed off anyone with more than a few brain cells; meaning the quotes were well-liked by most. Those who quoted these lines (often in a poor emulation of the original delivery, imitating Borat's voice) gained an almost orgasmic gratification when they received the one or two polite smiles from people who didn't have the balls to spit in their face and tell them to fornicate themselves with a palm tree.

Impressions

Impressions are performed by frat boys and drunk girls who think they are the next Richard Pryor. After watching a shitty impression, people are forced to laugh even though they want the impersonator to die a horrible death. These people are easy to fuck with. You can make at least one pretentious asshole leave any party by screaming 'My name-a Borat! High Five!' in a voice that is a mix of Kermit and Louie Armstrong.

Does Borat resemble Encyclopedia Dramatica?

Borat is one of the best examples of IRL trolling - having been arrested literally every single day whilst making the movie. In some ways Borat resembled Encyclopedia Dramatica:

PROS:

  • Unlike some other shitty shows that try to be edgy (like South Park and Family Guy), Borat doesn't only troll people who deserve to be trolled, or try to justify his trolling - he trolls because he fucking can.
  • Nothing is sacred - faggots, americunts, feminazis, animals, Jews, children etc. No one.
  • He has several sockpuppets.
  • He gets sued every week or so.
  • He has been noted for displaying pedophilic pretensions. At a concert, he started dry-humping a preteen. If you were to try this at your school concert you could easily get booked.

CONS:

  • He's a Jew. Although he may be ugly and hairy, at least he's not a furry. Although he was raped by a bear.

Real Kazakhstan

In real Kazakhstan, the most popular Kazakh is Freestailo, not Jew Borat.

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Gallery

Borat

Gallery About missing Pics
Image:Hookersandborat.jpg
A big fan of prostitutes, Borat's sister is also #4 best prostitute in all of Kazakhstan. Image:Borcat.jpg

The Jew Behind the Sockpuppets

See also

External links

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Sacha Baron Cohen is part of a series on

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