From Encyclopedia Dramatica
SSH is a means of communicating securely between verified parties. It is mostly used for pedophiles to access their offshore data haven accounts and fap to CP. It is estimated that some 94% of internet users maintain hidden caches of incriminating evidence.
Shhhhhhhhh! As in: "Don't tell anyone about all my poorly-encoded RARz!"
SSH starts by comparing each other's fingerprints to known copies because as we know biometrics are hard to steal and can be easily revoked once stolen. After this, you deploy the SSH protocol in casual conversation to hide your sekkkrets like so:
Prima: So about that drug smuggling/terrorist attack/illegal sex act we were planning... Secunda: SSH-1.0-DONGS Prima: What? Listen I really need some cash to get the weapons grade plutonium/hookers and blow. Secunda: SHH Prima: What are you not going to pay up? I'm gonna have to call Vinnie if so. Secunda: SHUT UP FAGGOT MY MOM IS LISTENING.
Secunda has thus successfully kept his secret sex/drugs/Jewish extremism addiction from his mother.
Prima: So about that drug smuggling/terrorist attack/illegal sex act we were planning... Secunda: SSH-1.0-DONGS Neo: Don't worry, I'm not listening. Secunda: Oh okay! Prima, I've got the money and silicone niggerdongs under my bed.
Uses of SSH and Shell Accounts
- Transferring massive amounts of child porn
- Saying "I want to kill the President"
- Following the drama and lulz from text-based Citadel systems
- Lurking on IRC
- Trading nuclear secrets to Iran
- Vandalizing TOW
- Outing local gays
- FreeSSH - Free SSH provider
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