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Romanians

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ALL YOUR BASE! BEWARE: GYPSIES AHEAD.
THE NATIONAL BANNER OF RUMÆNIA
Merge-arrows.gif It has been suggested that this article should be merged with Hungary. To find out moar, spam the goddamn talk page.


Typical Romanian gypo Romanian Male.
Romanian supermodel in national costume.

Flag ro.gif Romania is a country somewhere in Eastern Europe. It has over 900,000 gypsies (Srsly). The gypsies call them selves romanies because this way they get a lot of money from Hungary - Romania's most trusted neighbour (srsly), and because of that, the romanians hate the gypsies very nice. In fact they would ban them if they could. But they can't because they are busy emigrating to Spain and Italy.

Romanians descend from two great men, the Roman emperor Trajan and the glorious ancestor of the epic beard man, Decebalus. Romania is considered by most experts to be the Earth's epicenter of all known epic fail. Because that's their favorite pastime. Romanians are a proud and tenacious people, best known for elevating the act of stealing to an art form. Romania is also well known for its high rate of fetus pwnage.

All Romanians are either gypsies or self-hating closet gypsies who blame all their problems in life on one another instead of owning up to their lazy indolence and lack of effort. It's easier for them to simply not try, give up, avoid any level of personal responsibility and to point their fingers at someone else whilst proceeding to stomp up and down with flustered indignation and hypocritical, self-reflective racial slurs.

Contents


Romanian History

A typical Romanian landscape.

Romanians Moar liek Romaniacs Amirite? have a very rich and interesting history, most of it involving one invading empire or another plowing them in the ass. This piece of information is not at all surprising, considering that the Romanian nation was born as a result of Roman pwnage inflicted upon the Dacians.

Among the most notable nations that have trolled Romania, craving for their huge, hairy cocks, are: the Celts, the Persians, the Macedonians, the "Scythians", the Roman Empire, the Goths, the Turkeys, the Austro-Hungarian Empire, the Nazis, the Soviet Union and the Tatar hordes. And now Europe.

A typical romanian village.

It is a little known fact that during World War II, Romania was actually one of the bitches of the Axis powers, proof that they descend from the Roman she-wolf. The Soviet Union, using its superior military technology, eventually liberated the Romanian people from the evil Nazis and gave King Michael the banhammer. It is generally accepted among scientists that some argue that the Ruskies overstayed their welcome.

In 1989, Ronald Reagan, who often bragged about his Romanian ancestry, finally had enough of Russian republican president Gorbachev's spot on his forehead, swooped down from the heavens and pwned the USSR using his secret weapon. The Romanians were very grateful and have been mongling Lady Liberty's star-spangled cock ever since.

It is known that the first Romanian spawned when sperm of Zeus clashed upon the dogcrap filled streets of Valachya, but he couldn't endure the silence alone, and so he abused the gypsy multiplication jutsu to populate the place, planting sunflower seeds for futher chillaxin upon rapeage of aputees, a common practice among the working class of Romania. It is known that at least 100 years ago the Roman Empire ninjaraped Dacia, formerly known as The United Gipsy Tents Of Romania.

The history has given Romania the chance of revenge and the Boot-Shape-Vilage was the biggest PWN EVAH. The general of this massive revolution was Nicolae Romulus Mailat, former president and sheep raper. The new national anthem starts now with "I think gypos is a pretty cool guy. eh stabs ya'all and doesn't afraid of anything."

Once entered into the UE, the massive Romanian workforce spread like a festering boil, afflicting their neighbors with their special brand of work ethic, which includes such basic tenets as rape, incest, pedophilia, necrophilia, begging and, most importantly, blaming everyone but themselves when problems arise.

It has been proved in the recent years that the Romanians and Hungarians are brothers, sharing the same language, history, and oral traditions, like fapping to pr0n and inserting their cocks in every sentence that comes out of their mouths, with a frequency of approximately once every 2-3 words.

Romanian Politics

The winrar of the last presidential election was democratic liberal candidate Traian Băsescu. (He was re-elected. He won against Mircea Geaonă by .3%). A shit storm is already on its way from butthurt Geoană fans who claim that the elections were rigged, not that anybody gives a fuck.

more like Trollian Băsescu amirite?

Romanian Economy

Romanians will sell anything that isn't nailed down. The Romanian word for business is bishnitza and no self respecting Romanian business man would ever miss a bribe. Literally. Romania is really cold in winter so it's likely they sell a lot of jackets, stolen from the few visiting foreigners who have a spark of interest in this little corner of the world. Romania doesn't have a traditional form of currency, the most common method of payment being weed, rubber boots and pig-vomit. The country's main exports are gypsies and fail. Romania is one of the biggest prostitute exporters for Western European countries.

[Fun Fact : saying that Romania has an economy is a self-sustained joke]


Dacia is the average Romanian car. Every Romanian starts learning how to drive on one of these. Some can fail. There is a saying in Romanian culture that if you learn to drive a Dacia you learn to drive any existing car. Dacia eventually was bought by Renault. From then Dacia got international. It is now sold all over the EU. Some argue that the Dacia Logan, the first one to be made by Renault, is the best Dacia so far. But Renault failed to understand the needs of one car on Romanian roads. Observe in the pictures.

Romanian Cuisine

Every Romanian's favorite food.

Romanians feed primarily on sunflower seeds. Scientists believe that the average Romanian would eat seeds non-stop if he/she didn't have to take breaks for sleep and abusing their children. Romanians only drink pălincă and ţuică [pronounced tzuii-kah].

Don't let this fine dining fool you though. It's well known that the only form of meat Romanians have is what they can scrape from under their toenails. Because of this, seeing meat in a dish will confuse them and they will try to guess the meat so you don't find about their filthy toenail scraping ways. A common phrase used would be "is that beef?", even when it's clearly not.

You should never ever EVAR let a Romanian near your food because they love to sniff it.

Romanian Culture

An average Romanian citizen, relaxing the traditional way.

Favorite Pass times include:

  • Beating the shit out of each other at soccer matches.
  • Drinking "ţuică": moonshine so strong that it can melt through titanium.
  • Emigrating (mostly to Spain where they pick up strawberries for the rest of their lives) and once inside the foreign land, harassing the natives.
  • Throwing doorbells at their women.
  • Having sex with underage girls. You will never get escorted to a certain vehicle for such actions in Romania, which proves it is far superior to the USA.
  • Throwing garbage everywhere and then complaining about it.
  • Almost shoving their face in your plate of food and sniffing it for extended periods of time. Then asking if its beef, when it's clearly fucking chicken.
  • Sniffing glue.
  • Stealing Transylvania back from Hungary, and trolling about it.

The Average Romanian

The average Romanian is an extremly complicated and intelligent creature. An example of this is the following: A Romanian fucktard ate a bag of cherries without unseeding them, his ass got clogged up with cherry seeds so he shoved a hammer up his ass to try and crush the seeds (srsly). However, the handle of the hammer broke and the hammer head remained in his ass. Apparently, this particular fucktard wanted moar, so he shoved another hammer up his ass to try get the first one out/smash the seeds. However, the monkey learned from its previous mistake and tied a string around the hammer head so he could pull it back out. The string broke and he ended up with two hammer heads in his ass. The fucktard tried for three days to take the hammer heads out himself before visiting a doctor or Romanian Orthodox priest.

It has also learned that it can increase its life expectancy from the Romanian standard of 32 by emigrating to a real country. The typical Romanian (or feral beast amirite?) will whore out its triple breasted mother to some unsuspecting loser in another country. Once there the parasitic worm will latch on to said country to steal benefits and get free education. This usually fails because Romanians are unable to live in a civilised country and will resort to threatening women and throwing doorbells at them, which is a national past-time.

Romanian Military Special Ops secret training methods

Vlad Ţepeş

Where Freddy Mercury got the inspiration for his moustache from.

Contrary to popular belief, Vlad Drăcula was not really a bloodthirsty vampire. Most Romanians consider him an national hero but this is also false. In truth, Dracula's only notable trait was his ravenous homosexuality. When he was a mere boy he was sent as tribute to the Turks. While there, he was impaled on a daily basis by the Sultan himself. It is here that the warlord aquired his habit of sticking very large, very sharp and very phallic objects up innocent people's anuses.

The Emo Menace

While the stupidity of cops, both Romanian and of other nations, is known throught the world, very few foreign cops could produce such large amounts of lulz. It started when a 12 year old girl became an hero and soon the press was alerted to the "dangerous emo cult". As it was expected, instead of listening to common sense, the cops listened to the fear mongerers and engaged serious surveillance equipment to stalk and catch a bunch of emo faggots in the act, after which they were taken away and given to shrinks.

Typical Romanian commercial about emo.

Trolling Romanians

Only asians have smaller cocks than Romanians

Although Romanians are dumb,here are a few ways to make friends with them:

  • Ask them about how many times they got owned by the Ottoman Empire.
  • Ask them about the king of manele music, Guţă.
  • Ask them why is their country called Romania if they're not gypsies (Roma).
  • Tell them they have nothing to do with the Roman empire, they're actually Slavs. Also borrowing half their vocabulary from the French is pretty pretentious.
  • Become someone in the goverment and steal from them.
  • Destroy the 2km of roads Romania has. DISREGARD THAT, ROMANIA DOESN'T HAVE ROADS
  • Remind them they elected two of the most retarded people in Romanian Politics, Vadim Tudor (a anti-Hungarian psycho with territorial demands for Romania from all neighbouring countries) and Elena Băsescu (The president's daughter who used money from the Ministry of Tourism to pay for her EU parlament campaign; There was a lot of drama over this.)
  • Tell them Romania isn't even a country.
  • Tell them Transylvania never belonged to them, it was always part of Hungary.
  • Ask them whether their sole is actually hairy?
  • Say them that Romanian men have the smallest dicks in europe (their average dick size is only 5,0", 12,7 cm)
  • Tell them that Hungarian men have the biggest dicks in europe (their average dick size is 6,5 Inches, 16,5 cm), romanians will be mad about you, because many Romanians have an Antipathy against Hungarians

Famous Romanians

Peace frum Rumænia. Flag ro.gif

Meanwhile in Romania

Previous Video  |  Next Video

See Also

External Links

You'd think that a country would have an official webpage. Romania doesn't because they are not yet aquainted with advanced technology such as electricity or soap.


Flag ro.gif


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