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Rachel Corrie

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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If one of these things are coming, get out of the fucking way!
Rachel reincarnated as a ship in the Freedom Flotilla. The Israeli navy made the its crew surrender and then seized it, after apparently threatening them with a floating bulldozer.

Rachel "Roadkill" Corrie, also known as "Saint Rachel the Pancake," was an American wrestler with the evil zionist regime in Israel™ and by coincidence happened to be in the way of Israeli bulldozer as it attempted to demolish a terrorists home, and was promptly flattened. Thus, she has become an idol amongst arabs as these suckers built up a memorial in her honor and even named a street after her, I swear.

Contents

The Story

Corrie, a 16 year old girl, went to Palestine to protest Israel's horrific and genocidal practices of protecting its citizens, bulldozing family houses of suicide bombers, and guarding its borders. Corrie was an expert on the whole Palestinian conflict after reading the Dramatica articles on Israel and Jews. First, she tried to spread the word in her local community. But honestly, you can only stand for so many hours in front of Whole Foods waving graphic pamphlets of dead Palestinians in peoples faces before they politely tell you to fuck off. She did that for eight whole weeks before finally taking the hint.

So she decided to go to Palestine. Long story short, she palled around with terrorists, burned the american flag, held up signs saying PEACE and whined like the bitch she was every time Israel tried to get revenge for a suicide bombing or rocket attack. In the end, she was totally plowed by got smashed by an Israeli bulldozer as it attempted to run down the home of an terrorist. Then, her Palestinian friends displayed her blooded-up and gory carcass on TV and took pictures of it for making Israel look bad JOURNALISTIC PURPOSES!

Then, her carcass was tossed into a box and taken back to the USA, where her mom and dad bawwed, and asked why any bulldozer driver could be so dumb as not to stop and disobey army orders when some random bitch jumps in front of his bulldozer and shrieks at him to stop.

If you don't have anything better to do, you can read the full story on CNN.

Dramatic Stuff

Since she was anti-Israel and died, she is a great example of how evil Israel was. Never mind that she was a brainless bitch low on critical thinking skills (because, after all, SHE STOOD IN FRONT OF A FUCKING BULLDOZER JEWDOZER KILLDOZER), but she represents what's wrong with Israel, and, in turn, helps loonies hate America more. Of course taking a second look at this pic>>> [1], any dumbass could figure out that thing has a huge blind spot and is probably really fucking loud, so some whore stepping in front of it screaming won't do much. If you step in front of an outsize bulldozer's blind spot, what the fuck else were you expecting?

She is adored by the innocent Palestinian people, who commend her heroic actions of saving the family home of a suicide bomber who blew up in an Israeli town, making Israel look bad, and making Jews even more hated. You can use the Rachel Corrie incident for lulz by posting pictures of bulldozers as comments on Palestinian journals.

See Solidarity.

Cash Cow Corrie

Corrie's grieving family have decided not to let her death be in vain. They are actively keeping her memory alive - not by continuing protests in Palestine or encouraging dialogue between the two sides. Even better! You can now buy tickets to overpriced wank plays with such inspirational titles as My Name is Rachel Corrie (No shit, you dumb bitch) and buy books on her life such as I Stand Alone (more like I Flattened Alone, amirite?. Also what kind of 16 year old girl writes fucking books?)

Some argue that they are planning to release Rachel Corrie cutlery sets, mousepads and mini bulldozers, with all proceeds to go to charity.

Her death also gave her mother the idea to raise money through a pancake sale.

Her parents also filed a lolsuit against the poor Israeli soldier (sauce), who had no way of knowing that a dimwitted attention whore jumped in front of his bulldozer. He responded with the obligatory "I did it for the lulz".

Rachel Corrie Restaurant

Delicious Rachel Corrie Soup. Tastes like Chicken.

Not enough profit made from her hilarious death, in October 2010, the innocent Palestinians decided to open a restaurant named after her. no, srsly. The restaurant will be serving preserved parts of her body in a Pita, a traditional Palestinian dish, and all profits will go to support the noble cause that Corrie supported.

Coming soon, Rachel Corrie Brothel.

Secret Information about Rachel Corrie

  • Rachel is possibly the most Jewish female name in the world. Although at least 100 Jewish girls named Rachel were purposely murdered by Palestinian freedom fighters, none of them deserve a broadway play.
  • Her boyfriend is happy she is dead
  • Her father works in insurance, and should have told her about the risk of standing in front of a moving bulldozer, especially one with a Jew inside
  • She used to make dead baby jokes all the time
  • After the soldier was done paving Rachel, he got out, stood on top of the bulldozer, leaned back and screamedWRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! (It's a Jewish vampire thing, you wouldn't understand, goy).


Secret info about the incident

  • Bulldozer driver was justified by the israeli court, long live the fairest court in the world!
  • The Israeli D-9 bulldozer is built to demolish housed, defuse land mines by FUCKING DRIVING OVER THEM and pureeing white hoe's.
  • The driver was not even demolishing that house, but instead clearing debris from the house he already knocked down. So really, Rachel died for nothing.
  • The Israeli D-9 is vary loud and has a vary obstructed view. It has course, steel bar covered windows, to protect from rocks being thrown at it and a large metal plate in front to it. So the driver couldn't see the bitch even if she was standing instead of kneeling, and couldn't hear her scream as she was being squashed.
  • According to Israeli military regulations the driver has to have someone walk alongside the bulldozer to make sure he doesn't run anyone over. But in this case no one did that due to a sniper threat in the area. In reality it was probably just too cold for one of them to step outside.


Corrie Pancæks

Delicious Pancaek About missing Pics

See Also


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