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Portia Allen

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Portia Allen is actually the first person in recorded history to be taller laying down than standing up


Portia Allen (a.k.a. 'Lady Rerun') is a special breed of attention whore that gained attention on the interwebs in the December of 2009 for being a desperate nobody trying to become famous. Ebaums World decided to 'help' this sow leave the pigsty. Mrs. Allen describes herself as "Wife & Mother of Three (two of which are diagnosed with Autism), Radio & TV Personality, Celebrity Hostess, Plus Size Model, Actress, Entertainer, Program Director & Host of the "hit" online talk radio show, The Lady Rerun Show". Her main drive in life is to follow in her father's footsteps and enter into a full time career in entertainment, which she is waddling towards by immersing herself in the world of hip hop networks with DJs and indie artists.

Having been banned from every 'All you can eat' restaurant in Georgia, she has lost over 9000 pounds, but still retains the profile of a hot air balloon.


Contents

Background

Wendy Williams and Portia Allen are both strong, dignified black women (?) who have pursued a career in talk radio

In case you were ever in doubt, Portia is the daughter of megatalented Fred 'Rerun' Berry the famous Dancing Coon from hit 70's TV show What's Happening!!. She makes a point of conveying this information to the world at every opportunity. Fred, having kicked drugs in 1986 to pursue other interests sadly left us in 2003.

The self-obsessed heifer has her own online radio show which she hopes will be her breakthrough to becoming a glamorous star. The show has its own dedicated online shop where you can find various ill-conceived merchandise products with her face printed onto them. Even the ad of the fucking radio show is 'reruns daughter'. OK, WE GET IT ALREADY

There is also a compassionate and giving side to Portia. She has set up her own "Lady Rerun Autism Fund" that can be found here (no doubt being a welfare of sorts with the donations feeding directly into her bank account so she is able to support her niglet children). She also has an offer available to be your celebrity life coach. That's right, you can get a single phone call's worth of personal advice from Fred Berry's daughter at just the small fee of $2.99.

The Star

Portia had her TV debut on game show 'The Hole In The Wall' with her being destined to fail due to the hole not being the size of an earthball. This is her second most significant claim to fame (behind her father) that has led the luxurious lifestyle she leads today in Hampton, Georgia. During the taping of the show she got the name 'Lady Rerun'. Check out the bitch getting owned below.


GET YO LADY RERUN MERCH NOW BEFORE IT SELLS OUT Y'ALL


 
 
. . .that wall never stood a chance. . .
 

 

—Mark Thompson


Portia played the part of Ashley in the 17 minute 2009 film 'Rein: The Rejuvenator', directed by L. Johnverrell. All evidence that the movie ever actually existed seems to have fallen off the face of the earth, except for a neglected IMDb page.


Online Competitions

Portia struggles to trample the competition

Portia being the disillusioned hog that she is, entered herself into a few competitions, one being a modeling comp. (no joke). Ebaums World quickly found out and furiously voted whilst raiding her comments wall with obscenities in hopes that she would be shipped off to New York with three other white girls 1/8th of her size and would be forced to walk the runway while desperately trying not to dismantle it with her feet.

Amid Portia's success in the polls she received an email from Explore Modeling informing her that her profile was hidden due to the hundreds of offensive comments left on the page, giving her no choice but to helplessly attempt to delete them all. Portia's profile later returned to the public while the contest was temporarily halted and registration was added to "maintain the integrity of the voting system". The competition ended with Portia in first place, but she did not become the new face of E.L.F. because they are racist. You can inform the NAACP of this injustice here.

 
 
All of you internet kids are really cruel. I thought I actually had a chance at winning when I first found out how many votes I was getting. However once I began to realize what was going on I couldn't contain my sorrow. You're all cruel and I wish you would just leave me alone. Also, the game.
 

 

—Portia discovers the truth behind her newfound beauty contest popularity

Another competition where this nigger entered (and actually stood a chance in) was some shitty Do The Jingle competition where Portia is reclining on a reinforced deckchair like some kind of beached whale at Seaworld. Ebaums World ensured that her video had gotten to the #1 spot by voting once every hour. She won.

Previous Video  |  Next Video

SafeAuto has no one to blame for this but themselves.


Lady Rerun's main rivals in this competition was the Pinnell Dancers (a bunch of dancing lolis from Ohio) who are pissed off about coming in second place and have threatened to sue. SafeAuto put up an article on their blog acknowledging Portia's popularity where the Pinell Dancers butthurt can be witnessed in the comments section.

There also was a bitch called Megan Devine. She was at the top until Portia had beat her and being a 15 year old she was easily affected and responded with a video, then later deleted it.

the second post, in the video says: I'm not racist, note: irony

Lady Rerun Show Broadcasts

  • Dec. 7 '09 Topic Monday Tiger Woods (yawn), troll phone calls, Portia is directed to lemonparty.org and meatspin.com, Portia discovers her ED page
  • Dec. 10 '09 Music Thursday more troll calls, Portia plays some Nickelback, Ebaums user meets Mama Rerun
  • Dec. 15 '09 Topic Monday - Ebaums meets Portia's bitchy dominatrix friend Malika, Portia is further enlightened with internet culture (this was Portia's last broadcast LOL)
  • On October 8th 2010 Portia's revealed on her face book page that her radio show will be returning and that taping for her pre-season begins November 1. If you have any suggestions for the show send them here: [email protected]

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