From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Pixyteri, Pixylime or Sarah Guilbeaux (pronounced Gullible), is a 28-year-old American cosplayer from Victoria, Texas. She is a shapely, sexy, and cute woman and wants you all to know about it. This article intends to document her success and the development of her career as a kawaii pop idol in Japan.
Introduction to Pixy desu~
Pixyteri began as an anime-loving young child, with an obsession for Japanese video games and Rumiko Takahashi. Forced to tan at a young age by her mother, she has developed an aversion to looking white, and desires to look Asian at all times. During high school, her mother forced her to ingest tanning pills (now found to be detrimental to health) in order to further yellow her complexion, which has caused psychological dysfunction in her brainmeats. She now believes her skin to be of natural Asian colouring, leading her to question her ethnicity - is she white or Asian?
Despite holding a Bachelor's degree in English and Communications, her dream career is to be a singer, professional cosplayer, being an idol in Japan, or working as a model in the fashion industry. Her quest for stardom, coupled with her love of Japanese culture, means logically that she can become a kawaii Japanese idol desu desu desu desu desu! These things are never going to happen.
Pixyteri also decided that her real name, Sarah Guilbeaux, was too white for her liking. In order to become a kawaii idol in Japan, and an internet famous lolita, she needed a new name that portrayed her cute spirit and Asian ancestry. After casting a vote from a few options, she decided on the name Sarah Yukiko and has since changed her Facebook name to align with this new identity. However, as of late she has been contemplating changing names again, because her friend like totally told her Yukiko was an old fashioned name in Japan, OMG. Current potential names include Sayuki, Sayuri, Sarah Sayu, or Sarah Hiromi~! <3 Update: Her new name is Sarah Misao! So kawaii!!
Pixyteri is aware of this article and wants it taken down because she considers it slanderous and totally not kawaii at all. So the next time someone tries to wipe this article, you know it's just one of her online boyfriends failing at the internet, again. Disclaimer: None of the screencaps of her Livejournal/Deviantart are edited or altered in any way. Only the hilarious photos of her are shooped for the lulz.
She attended Ikkicon where a bunch of 4chaners were planning an attack but realized it was futile and really generally felt sorry for her. It you meet her in person you can truly see just how fucked up she really is and how fucking short she is. (about 5'1" or 157cm according to her)
Only for the brave of heart
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As of 12/22/11 it appears our beloved Pixyteri has deleted fucking everything. Her deviantart deactivated, twitter account bawleeted, her tumblr abandoned. It has been theorized that pressure from her family, who have threatened to throw her ass out unless she grew the fuck up, advice from her friends, and the constant stream of helpful critiques from the internet has finally driven her to this point. While the members of /cgl/ believe that she has seen the massive errors of her ways, and PT herself stating that she was looking to change her life for the better, it remains to be seen if this will last. She has claimed she will no longer post on twitter, which she has done before but returned shortly after, and that she will never cosplay again, which she has also claimed to do before but ultimately failed to fufill. However, due to the sheer magnitude of her commitment thus far, that is to say how much shit she has deleted, there's actually a chance this is the real deal.
Yeeeeah she's back. While slightly weakened in internet presence, she has returned to Twitter and begun posting new images on her photobucket account. Will hilarity continue to ensue?
Then there was that one time her mom found one of the threads on /cgl/ and posted a couple of comments. For some reason her mom decided to Google "Sarah Guilbeaux" and the thread was one of the myriad of results that occur when you search for her name (including nude pictures). Her mother brought the lulz with her questionable handling of the English language, however, we had a chance to ask her a couple of questions. Pixyteri had claimed Asian heritage on her Tumblr, and we asked Debbie if she had any hint of Asian heritage. Debbie said:
—Debbie, Pixyteri's mom
Thanks for clearing that up Debbie! Keep on shoopin', Sarah.
Pixyteri's mom also thinks her daughter stinks. PT apparently takes baths like a True Japaroo, except for the cleaning yourself properly so you don't smell part. Unlike western cultures, the Japanese bath is used after you have washed and rinsed. PT's mother told her to take a shower. PT, acting like the sensible and responsible adult she is, promptly broke down, ran to her room in tears, turned on Tinychat so her friends can hear how abusive and awful her home life really is and entice pity and sympathy. She spends the video dramatically sobbing into her desk and toying with her greasy hair as her mom gets increasingly angry, shouting at her spawn off camera to take care of herself for fucks sake.
PT, just take a shower.
Looks like the video has been taken down, but enjoy a few nuggets of wisdom Debbie shared:
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Pixy has been amassing debt at the rate you'd expect of a shopaholic weeaboo. Not only does she buy a new kimono every month and throw money away on cosplays and other clothes that don't fit, PT is also a hypochondriac who has gone to the emergency room (without insurance) for colds on several occasions. She has maxed out her credit cards and owes $6,000 in hospital bills. Her parents are constantly admonishing poor Pixy for spending hundreds of dollars a month on shitty Japanese garbage rather than paying off any of her debt, but PT responds by crying shortly before buying another cosplay. Even when her friends suggest she spend a little less on cosplay to throw some money toward her debts she responds with extreme offense. In the past PT has purchased a PO box to hide her shopping habits from her parents but cancelled it when she could no longer afford it. Every once in a while she contemplates getting one again so her mother will get off her back. In September 2013 PT's parents threatened to withhold a $400 quarterly profit sharing bonus Home Depot employees receive to pay some of her hospital bills and PT responded by throwing a ridiculous tantrum.
—PT, before she paid zero dollars to her debt and spent $500 on cosplay and kimono
Thanks to trolls having access to her eBay purchase records it has been gathered that she spends about $500-$600 a month on various kimono, cosplay, wigs, stationary sets, and Japanese snacks. This is about dead even with what she makes at her part time job. She has long frittered her Japan savings away and no longer sets any money aside for the future or emergencies. As if spending money on shit wasn't bad enough, PT crashed her car into a guardrail thanks to texting while driving. She claims she was on her phone to pay off her debt but we're not fucking retarded. The car was totaled and her car insurance increased her rates until the end of the year when they would drop her as a policy holder.
—Pixy, not understanding what grown-ass woman responsibilities are.
Every once in a while Pixyteri is forced to sell her old cosplays that no longer fit or lolita dresses that never fit in order to pay her bills. This is an unacceptable act to her. They're HER things and it's HER money. She shouldn't have to sell any of the things she DESERVES to own in order to pay baka debtors. One day a husband will pay all her bills and she will no longer be forced to have wise spending habits...
None of her experiences have taught her anything and she continues to fuck herself up financially.
In her lifetime PT has only been in one serious relationship. Ordinarily she just does booty calls or sleeps with random men to make herself feel pretty and wanted. One of these past flings was a greasy weeaboo named James. At almost a decade PT's junior he must have thought it was cool to score with an older chick and promptly stuck his dick in crazy over and over. James later cut most ties with PT but her deep love for him remained. This later turned into an unstoppable obsession. PT sees this btard as perfect man despite him possessing none of the qualities she expects her perfect husbando to have. In fact James has never displayed any evidence of showing PT any sort of respect or even that he gave half a shit about her. Nonetheless PT has pined over him, constantly tweeting about missing him and crying about him in tinychats. She considered him the Urahara to her Rukia, but also hates Urahara and hates bleach. Since being spurned Pixy uses James' tastes in women to create a laundry list of qualities to hate in other people. When James liked an image that read "I <3 black girls" on Facebook, PT decided to hate black girls. Anything James chooses over her is seen as a threat to her personally. Getting over James and his bullshit would allow Pixy to initiate new relationships with men who aren't worthless and could genuinely give her what she wants but PT is the queen of many things, including sabotaging herself.
In a form of celebrity worship, Pixyteri has taken a romantic liking to Bleach author Tite Kubo. She follows his twitter and on occasion tweets to him in broken Japanese. Too bad her own twitter is often private and only viewable to followers so it's highly likely Kubo has never seen a single one of these messages. Any time Kubo retweets or replies to another fan PT is sent into a fit of jealous rage. To make matters worse, Kubo recently married an unnamed woman. PT has desperately searched for this mystery wife and has falsely identified her as both a cosplayer on one occasion and a transsexual Japanese TV personality on another. At times it seems like she projects this "wife" onto whoever she hates at the moment. To nurse her broken heart Pixy has taken to calling Kubo "Titty Kubo" and tells people Bleach is poorly written, has inaccurate bust sizes for its characters, and creates bad ships.
Sometimes in a vain attempt to get over James and other men who "only want one thing" PT threatens to become a lesbian. Disgusting.
Hopes and Dreams
Ever since she discovered anime as a young whale, PT has dreamed of becoming famous, going to Glorious Nippon, and become a supa sexy kawaii idol. While there she will find her "real" father and her "true heritiji" and be discovered by a Japanese talent agency. She expects to become a famous and beloved media figure. In that time she has ripened to the prime idol age of 27 and has done fuck all to achieve any of this. And unfortunately for her, even Japanese idols need a talent, looks or something of note to be famous for.
PT alleges she has been saving up for this grand adventure for quite some time, but we've yet to see any progress. She keeps blowing all her money on her cosplays, outfits and other kawaii junk. A number of anon have actually reached out to help her get to Japan, possibly for the fountain of lulz to be had as reality comes crashing down around her, but she has rejected all attempts including an opportunity for a free trip. Due to the endless stream of excuses that spews out of her mouth, it has been speculated that PT actually doesn't want to and never will go to Japan, that somewhere deep down she knows of the soul-crushing failure that awaits her.
At some point, PT attempted to break through to Japan under the guise of being a teacher in spite of her refusal to put her English degree into use. When preparing for her interview for the JET program, her white knights advised her not to mention her love for anime and manga to the coordinators. Not surprisingly, PT was shocked by this news, as anime and manga is all she really knows about Japanese culture. Since nothing has come out of this breakthrough, it's safe to assume that PT was rejected from the JET program.
She also wants to experience an exciting and super kawaii earthquake so she can truly become a Japanese.
More recently PT had started up a fund to help her get to Japan. She hastily took it down after controversy over how the donated money was going to be spent, on the actual trip, to help her pay off her $3,000 debt, or so she could buy more shit for herself. Many anon called her out on her obvious scam. PT retorted saying the loads of shit she was bragging about buying on twitter was to help her cope with her horrible home life and was not at all compounding her financial troubles. She declared she was going to give up on her precious cosplaying, her ambitions to go to Japan and just about everything. This was a lie of course, done in an effort to inspire pity and soften the hearts of her critics. After receiving cunnilingus from her fans, PT was back on track, her dreams of Japanese stardom shining more brightly than ever!
Also she's totally not a weeaboo and it's offensive if you call her one.
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The Perfect Husbando
PT's sole hope for her financial future is to bag a handsome, wealthy, permissive husband. Due to her health issues stopping her from getting full time work she expects her husband to make enough money to fully support her as a housewife. Being a "housewife" in PT's mind consists of not doing any housework, traveling wherever she wants, eating wherever she wants on her husband's dime, and getting all the money she wants to cosplay and buy lolita dresses. This idea of a husband must also never look at porn, watch harem anime, act "perverted", ignore her to play video games, question her heritage, talk to other women, or show any signs of attraction to anything other that Pixy's luscious lumps. He must have a full time job, be handsome, at least 5'9", clean shaven at all times, and allow PT to express her sexuality however she wants. Strangely enough the victim of her obsession, James, posses none of these qualities.
Her fantasies of this prospective husband have grown to be more than an innocent daydream. Though PT speaks of genuine loneliness (thanks to driving away everyone who's ever cared about her by being a self absorbed bitch) this "husband" she often fantasizes about has become an escapist delusion, something that will one day free her from all the responsibilities of being a functioning adult. She doesn't speak of who this man is as a person but rather what he will do for her. She posts angrily about how things will be different when she gets a husband because then she'll be allowed to do every dumbass thing she wants without retribution. Unfortunately for her it doesn't matter how many fish there are in the sea because this magnificent man she's banking on does not and will never exist. PT's best option will be to find a beta male who is willing to donate his hard-earned McDonald's paycheck to her weeby hobbies. This will never happen either. PT is utterly unwilling to settle for anything less than this imaginary god-husband lest she sell herself short. Until she gets this husband she believes she can never move out of her parents' home. It is unknown whether she thinks this due to some sort of imaginary Japanese stereotype or because she is downright unwilling to support herself.
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PT is often plagued with colds or "pleurisy" as she calls them to sound like she has a real problem. When she isn't going to the ER for her sniffles she posts about them constantly to twitter or wherever the fuck else she happens to be online at the moment. "M-my chest hurts ;_;" she whines like a child. Other times she will post that her "tummy hurts", often when no one has spoken to her in a while or she has gotten herself in trouble with her parents or managers. An upset stomach could be a reaction to anxiety or just the feeble bitching of a woman who will find the smallest excuse to extract pity from the people around her.
Her shit diet of Chinese food and Japanese snacks isn't helping her health at all. Mysterious plagues of heartburn haunt Pixyteri. While her mother says it's because she eats a lot of shit, PT does not accept this obvious cause and can't imagine why god curses her with such pain.
Some gross shit Pixy deals with is reoccurring urinary tract infections. It's one thing for her unwashed vagina to stink up her life quietly but she feels the need to post about her "feminine problem" as if to gain sympathy from her followers for being a dirty cunt.
Despite being an obvious hambeast, Pixyteri denies that she is fat. In fact, she is not fat, she is BEAUTIFUL AND SEXY AND HERE TO STAY, AND SHE HAS JUST BEGUN TO SHINE DESU. She has posted her accurate measurements all over the internet in order to dispute claims of obesity. Some of her fans on Deviantart saved her photos to folders saved for women of the BBW persuasion. This makes sense because all of her fans are chubby-chasers. She has done much to refute these claims, including bitchy comments on Deviantart. She tried to show everyone how beautiful and curvy she was elsewhere on the interet by selfposting to zerochan and gelbooru but was met with the comments of "chubby", "fat", and "not Japanese". She showed them by bitching them out.
PT has been on dozens of diets ranging from not eating after 7PM to eating baby food, all of which have ended in failure. After a few days of patting herself on the back for her discipline and healthy living she's back to eating wads of mochi and home made authentikku sushi or eating at Red Lobster alone. She takes extreme offense to anyone who dares suggest she need to diet but also calls herself a fatass, presumably for asspats. But there would need to be a lot of pats to cover that enormous ass. Because diet and exercise is impossible and near torture, PT has resorted to the cheapest of tricks to slim herself down. Shrinking the horizontal resolution of a picture isn't fooling anyone you goddamn idiot. In a new achievement of denial, PT claimed a tape measure was wrong about her measurements. A tape measure that she used herself to measure her own fat. A tape measure that has no opinion and does not change its units no matter what goes on around it. But no, it's the messed up one.
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—PT making threats after she lost her purse once.
If anything is keeping our sweet little Pixy from achieving a normal, successful life it's how batshit insane she is. Everyone who's ever followed her antics has at one point or another asked themselves "What the fuck is wrong with her?" In the past she saw a psyche for her obvious mental problems and was prescribed anxiety and depression medication. She frequently skips them and complains about her mother counting her pills to see how many she actually uses. Unfortunately there is no medication that stops someone from being a retard.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Narcissistic personality disorder is the most accurate description of Pixyteri's personality to date. The entire list of qualities associated with NPD stolen from its wikipedia page is as follows:
- Expects to be recognized as superior and special, without superior accomplishments
- Expects constant attention, admiration and positive reinforcement from others
- Envies others and believes others envy him/her
- Is preoccupied with thoughts and fantasies of great success, enormous attractiveness, power, intelligence
- Lacks the ability to empathize with the feelings or desires of others
- Is arrogant in attitudes and behavior
- Has expectations of special treatment that are unrealistic
That is Pixy to a T. Her cosplays are better than everyone else's, regardless of how fatter/uglier/shittier she is. She demands asspats constantly and when she doesn't get them she threatens to cut herself and post proof pics. She believes everyone is jealous of her greatness and just hate to stop her from shining. Her preoccupation with bagging a perfect husbando and living the ideal life of being a trophy fatass housewife who does nothing but shove nipponese candy down her mochi hole all day keeps her constantly outside of reality. She blatantly disregards the troubles of others (like her parents who she will live with and leech from until they die, a la Chris-chan) and expects everyone to always do as she wishes because she is utter perfection and DESERVES the best from everyone she meets. As with most therapy, the patient must want to change in order to recover. PT will remain a self absorbed asshole for the rest of her life.
Racial Identity Crisis
Pixyteri is convinced that she is part Japanese, and continually argues that her mother had an affair with a Japanese man, and thus, that is why she *appears* to be Asian. She has confronted her mother on several occasions about this, and her mother has straight up denied that anything of the sort took place. Pixyteri refuses to identify with the Caucasian race and will take horrible offense if you refer to her as "white" or a foreigner to Japan. She tries to avoid directly calling herself "Japanese" and uses the code phrase "I know what my heritage is". Though the very vehemently denies being white she also refuses to research her genealogy under the basis that "it would only set [her] up for annoyance and disappointment"
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Any ordinary person would buy clothes that physically fit their bodies. Not Pixyteri! To live out her delusion that she's a size 8 she buys clothes that are a size 8 or a medium to large. They NEVER FIT. Every time she talks about buying clothes online she cries in disgust that the website DARE call her plus sized. Then when the item arrives she can't get it onto her body and sobs that the website's sizing was wrong. Sometimes items of clothing do run on the small side and it isn't in the buyer's favor but one would thing Pixyteri would notice the pattern in her dozens of unwearable purchases. On several occasion PT has tweeted underwear shots to prove to everyone she isn't fat. Every time her bra is barely holding onto her pancake tits and her panties are stretched beyond what one would think fabric could sustain before structural failure. This denial of her size crosses into every one of her clothing based hobbies
Adventures in Lolita
Pixyteri started dressing in a lolita style because it was a new way to receive attention without literally prostituting herself. She prefers to dress in sweet OTT lolita, with a hint of classical~! However, due to her size, she finds it difficult to fit into most burando. Busting many a seam, she is just beginning to shine on her trajectory of positivity and happiness! Furthermore, her tendency to shoop her face yellow, in order to align with her Asian ethnicity, has tended to turn people off from her photoshoots (available for perusal on her Deviantart - see links below).
She has her own tag on getoffegl for various Lolita related offences. These include:
- Wanting to cut the straps off a BTSSB JSK
- Posting shitty anime/lolita drawings and being unable to accept criticism
- Posting more shitty photos from a shitty Lolita meet-up, where her dress still does not fit her.
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Authentic Nipponese Garb
To express her true heritage PT has made a hobby of buying Japanese kimono, yukata, furisode and Japanese sandals as well as Chinese cheongsam dresses. The Japanese are a petite people and though Pixyteri is a short woman at 5'1" her girth makes her unsuitable for most of the traditional Japanese clothing she buys. The clothes she buys often will not close or button. Her feet are too large for the tiny shoes she buys (and insists still fit). As well as being too fat to fit into these clothes, PT wears garments transitionally reserved for young, unmarried woman. By Japanese standards Pixyteri is an old maid but this doesn't stop her delusions. She believes that feeling young is good enough.
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History as /cgl/'s Mascot
Despite her love of attention and her desire to be famous, Pixyteri's presence on the internet is quite insignificant. However, she has caught the attention of the taco party of the 4chan imageboards: /cgl/. This results in a daily dose of her new photo shoots most days. She is largely unaware of the extent to which her pictures are being posted, resulting in lulz. Recently, members of the Hambeast Headquarters known as /cgl/ have also made a fan video tribute to their idol:
Reasons for why she is hated tend to evade most people. However, the following may contribute:
- Her lacklustre cosplay.
- She is the very definition of Unwarranted Self-Importance.
- Deafeningly bad attempts at singing on Youtube.
- Her denial of the reality of her body size.
- Claims of being Asian when she is just the white Texan girl she appears to be.
- Shooping her face and skin yellow to look totarri Asian. As well as horribly shooping her body in general.
- Her constant derision and judgement of flat-chested women.
- Her constant derision and judgement of skinny/slim girls; according to Pixyteri, they are inferior to "healthy" girls.
- Despite all the posts, she has not buckled under the pressure, and this is frustrating.
Her persistence is commendable.
—Anon talking about Pixyteri threads
Shit Pixyteri Says
In order to help PT out of a financial rut, an adoring fan purchased the Shampoo cosplay she had listed on ebay and used it to create a flatting fan video that documents the real life actions of darling Pixy. It's strange how a cosplay worn by such a petite Japanese woman could still manage to fit a grown adult man.
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SUPA SEXII Gallery
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- Unwarranted Self-Importance
101 Cloverbloom Dr.
Victoria, TX 77904
Born July 29, 1985
This subject has been sloppy at covering their tracks and has left a trail of public information for Doxbin's specially trained team of e-detectives.
Here is a list of all the places you can find her on the interwebs.
- AIM: chappypantsu
- Yahoo: pixyteriyaki
- PSN: pixy_teri
- Her personal website
- Cosplay.com profile
- Model Mayhem Account
- Cosplay Lab
- Victoria Advocate
- ESL Starter
Pixyteri is part of a series on
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|Featured article November 6, 2011 & November 7, 2011|
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