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Party Van

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Also known as The Authorities, The Feds or the FBI, the Party Van is SERIOUS BUSINESS, designed to help corporations throw you in jail for sharing ones and zeroes—despite sharing being the basis of our human society.

lies

THIS WEBPAGE OF THE INTERNETS IS BEING OBSERVED BY THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION UNDER AUTHORITY OF THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT FOR VIOLATION OF FEDERAL LULZ MANDATES AS DEFINED BY THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT.

AS A VISITOR, YOU MAY BE REQUIRED TO PARTICIPATE IN AN EXTENSIVE BACKGROUND TEST. YOUR DISTINCTIVE FINGERPRINTS, SCARS, FORDYCE'S SPOTS, HAIR COLOR, HAIR TYPE, DATE AND TIME OF BIRTH, HEIGHT, WEIGHT, GENDER, ETHNIC BACKGROUND, FAT DISTRIBUTION, OCULAR SURFACE, BLOOD TYPE, BLOOD PRESSURE, CHROMOSOME COUNT, INTELLIGENCE QUOTIENT, SAT SCORE, EMOTIONAL QUOTIENT, EPIDERMAL TENSILE STRENGTH, NEURAL IMPULSE QUADRATURE MODULATION FREQUENCY, MOLAR MASS, PENIS/CLITORIS GIRTH, CLOCK SPEED, NEGRO-HORMONE LEVEL, MIDICHLORIAN COUNT, OT LEVELS, THETAN DETECTION, SPERM COUNT, GREY MATTER VOLUME, CARPAL DERMAL TISSUE CONDUCTIVITY, HEAT OF VAPORIZATION, FIRST IONIZATION ENERGY, SALIVARY VISCOSITY, STOOL CONSISTENCY, SPECIFIC HEAT, RESONANCE STRUCTURE, CRYSTALLINE PACKING STRUCTURE, ANAL DIAMETER, BRUCE TREADMILL TEST SCORES, BODY MASS INDEX, BODY-FAT PERCENTAGE, PERSONALITY TYPE, VO2 MAX, LETHAL DOSES FOR VARIOUS CHEMICALS, ACOUSTIC ABSORPTION CHARACTERISTICS, OTHER BIOMETRIC DATA, SEXUAL ORIENTATION, FAVORITE COLOR, AND STDS MAY BE DOCUMENTED AND STORED INDEFINITELY AT AN UNSPECIFIED LOCATION WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT AND/OR KNOWLEDGE. THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATIONS MAY, CONDITIONAL TO ITS FAIL AND AIDS AGREEMENT, RELEASE RECORDS DISPLAYING YOUR NAME TO INDIVIDUALS PETITIONING IT UNDER THE FREEDOM OF INFORMATION ACT OF 1996.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. YOUR PARTICIPATION ENSURES THE DEMOCRATIC FREEDOM OF AMERICA.

Contents

OL Expressions of Gratitude

Or maybe it is...
  • Heaneyland!
    • "I SAY FUCK THE FBI/RIAA/MPAA AND THE REST OF THE FUCKING BASTARDS GO SCREW YOURSELVES YOU FUCKING BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!"
  • Ubersite
    • "Forget the fact that I've lived in Canada my entire fucking life, a country who poses absolutely no threat to you whatsoever, and whose navy is less threatening than the fucking Love Boat. Forget the fact that I've been to the States a million fucking times before. Forget the fact that I've never even seen a fucking gun in my life, let alone know how to operate a bomb. With my luck I would probably blow my dick off and still manage to live. And the worse part is, one of the FBI guys was cross-eyed. The bitch was fucking cross-eyed with a giant mole on his forehead. I was scared shitless and trying not to laugh all at the same time. So in short, fuck the FBI." Long story short, whiny Canadian bitches about a completely different country he knows nothing about. Whiny Americunt bitches about a country he couldn't point to on a map. Whiny Canadian continues to bitch cause it's what he and his countrymen(see: pussies) Whiny Can'tnadian pissed off cause his country continues to yield no significance to anything relevant on the world's stage. Nor has his country contributed anything since John Candy.

The Copypasta

In Soviet Russia...you go to Party Van.
In China, you're fucked.

When trolling as a delicious Loli, when the guy asks for a pic, cam, etc, send him this.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation has logged a record of this chat along with the IP addresses of the participants due to potential violations of U.S. law. Reference no. 2334453436. Your IP address has been entered into our suspect database and may be sent to CPS(Child Protection Services) and local law enforcement agencies. Please wait while memory ref. code 90637895 is entered into the database.

After you send this pasta, the conversation should go like this:

colin says: u see ma cock?
Jew says: The Federal Bureau of Investigation has logged a record of this chat along with the IP addresses of the participants due to potential violations of U.S. law. Reference no. 8429l271. Your IP address has been entered into our suspect database and may be sent to CPS(Child Protection Services) and local law enforcement agencies. Please wait while memory ref. code 90637895 is entered into the database.
colin has stopped viewing webcam with you.
Jew says: Please wait while we process your IP address.
Jew says: Location found.
colin says: oh fuck




Gallery

FBI Gallery About missing Pics

Other Sites Pwned By FBI

Takedown Notice OMG

Feds are known for their backdoors.

Apparently the Fuckwitted Bastards Institute doesn't like the idea of freedom of the press. On December the 8th, 2010, during the middle of Operation Payback, ED was just doing its usual: documenting the raid, nothing particularly illegal, when they received a cease-and-desist notice from the aforementioned Feds to remove the page. See, some wise members of the Anons had decided to post dox on the various people to attack over the previous few weeks, and the FBI had finally managed to take notice. For some reason, they seemed to think that Sheneequa and Co. were responsible, not the people who edited the artice. Another odd thing was that they never offered to compromise by removing the offending text and just document events as they unfolded.

The FBI threatened to prosecute ED otherwise, and as such they testicularlessly removed the article. At least until this shit blows over, and a legal one without the dox can be put up. For some reason, they think this is the worst ED has been used for. All of this is because the FBI is very unilateral. Hopefully Anons will think a bit better next time before they attack the websites of their own country's government. Still, it raises important questions when a country that has laws explicitly enshrining free speech protects those rights of the people less than countries that don't.

So basically, we can't put that page back up yet. And don't try it either, Anons.

See also

External links


Party Van is part of a series on
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UnV& Pedophiles


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Party Van

is part of a series on

Taking Down ED

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Featured article June 26 & June 27, 2011
Preceded by
888chan
Party Van Succeeded by
LulzSec
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