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Orvillecopter

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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It is usually the case that when a beloved family pet dies the average person will take it upon themselves to dig a hole in the backyard, bury them in an old shoebox and have done with it. The extraordinary person however, will take their former companion's carcass and fuse it with machine parts. Such was the case with Bart Jansen, who took his dead cat Orville and transformed him into something more powerful than any living creature ever to have existed: ORVILLECOPTER™

Contents

Orvillecopter: Origins

Early prototype.

Back in the day, Dutch artist Jansen kept a house-cat by the name of Orville. All was fair and good in the world until Orville's life was tragically ended by an unfortunate encounter with a moving automobile. Following a brief period of mourning Jansen stuffed Orville's body into his freezer then, like a true Dutchman, embarked upon a six-month weed and hooker binge managing to entirely forget the by now frozen feline nestled deep amongst his pepperoni pizza and ice-cube trays. Once Jensen sobered up he was quick to convey Orville to a local taxidermist before then mounting an engine into his eviscerated belly and attaching propellers to each of his paws. After a few test runs, Jensen determined that his newly-created Orvillecopter™ was ready to be revealed to the world. He debuted the cyborg at an art fair and thus managed to spark a shitstorm which still rages to this day.

 
 
After a period of mourning he received his propellers posthumously, he will receive more powerful engines and larger props for his birthday... (So) this hopping will soon change into steady flight.
 

 

Bart Jansen on overcoming design problems.

Orvillecopter Horrifies Sheltered White People

"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!" - Ozymandias

Videos of the maiden-flight soon made their way onto YouTube resulting in viewers the world over suddenly becoming militant radicals of the animal-rights cause; here are a number of quotes from the outraged activists:

 
 
When your mother dies, i'm gonna dissec her and put some pieces of metal in her stomach, drill her hands and put helicopter propellers, i think this could be an art. She's gonna look very good flying around the neighborhood...

Dick!
 


 

— I don't think Jensen would mind.

 
 
i dont understand whi did you turn dead cat into a heli??!! you could use plastic or something..
 

 

—BF2FanNo1 doesn't understand art.

 
 
Society is so freakin' screwed up. How can people enjoy this?
 

 

—Wait until he discovers ED.

 
 
i don t wanna live on this planet anymore... -_-
 

 

—I'll bet five e-points that this 'activist' eats meat.

Previous Quote | Next Quote


Horrified netizens went on an e-rampage against Orvillecopter™, failing to acknowledge their own hypocrisy in expressing concern over something that was already dead when most of them eat meat from animals that are tortured throughout their entire lives. Some Dutch e-dwellers with a case of the feelies even managed to leave the musty confines of their basements in order to deface the convention center within which the art festival was being held. Jensen has remained strangely silent throughout the ordeal, probably preoccupied by the tsunami of loose bitches that comes with creating a successful work of art. He does, however, have this to say in regards to his greatest creation:

 
 
Now he is finally flying with the birds. The greatest goal a cat could ever reach!
 

 

—Truer words have never been spoken.


Oddly enough, PETA have also failed to speak up, suggesting that they too have been bedazzled by the aviatronic awesomeness of Orvillecopter™

Orvillecopter & Wikipedia

Being pseudo-intellectual cunts a motion was passed by Wikipedians for the removal of Orville's article; which had been created in order to highlight this astounding development in technology's relationship to the animal kingdom, it ultimately passed with a 70/30 majority in favour of its deletion. A link to the tl;dr debate has been appended into the External Links section of this article; aside from the usual claims of the subject lacking notability this spergfest did manage to produce a particularly heartwarming tribute to Orville in the form of a poem:


 
 
Be thy son of Adam or daughter of Eve

God bestowed upon us the power t'grieve
For dearest furry friends flow tears of brine
And inspiration to create artwork most divine:
The helicopter feline

Struck by a car whilst chasing a rat
Orville's owner vowed to create "half machine, half cat"
Disembowled, stuffed, preserved in formaldehyde
Technology made him one sweet flying ride
(And saved on cremation costs as an aside.)

Alas, Orvillecat may not be a lasting tale
Despite fifty citations in the Daily Mail
Translated to myriad languages without fail
(Not to mention eight separate versions in Braille.)

But if we write poems and plays and musical themes,
And perhaps some lolcats and Ceiling Cat cross-memes
Orville, he may, he may yet live on
And we'll google him for centuries a yonder and anon,
And future wikipedians will wonder
Just what drugs we were on.

 


 

—Milowent


The original article:


Seems legit...
 
 
This is the worlds first taxidermy / UAV hybrid, that's a significant advance for Art & Science! How could this possible not be notable?
 

 

—JasperWallace


Orvillecopter in Action


AIRCAT

Orvillecopter's Debut

Orvillecopter-Final Flight

Orvillecopter-Second Flight

Previous Video  |  Next Video

Gallery


See Also

External Links


Orvillecopter
is part of a series on
Bad things that happen to animals NEDM1.jpg
Basic Concepts
Victims

BadgersBatsBearsBeesBirdsBunniesCatsChihuahuasChickensCowsCrabsDinosaursDogsDucksFishFoxesFrogsGiant IsopodsOctopusesPandasParakeetsPenguinsPigsRatsSharksSheepSnakesSpidersTurtlesWalruseWolves



Orvillecopter
is part of a series on
Internet Cats

A Cat Is Fine TooArguecatBasement CatBikecatBincatBinkersBonsai KittenBukkake MilkBurgerBusiness CatCat in MicrowaveCat on a keyboard in spaceCatnarokCeiling CatChase 'No Face'CovercatDangerous KittenDeath CatDodge CatDrillcatEmo CatFishing CatFrinkleGarfieldGrumpy CatHappycatHipster KittyIf it fits I sitsInception CatJarcatJewcatKeyboard CatKitlerLasercatLenincatLimecatLongcatMaruNyan CatOctocatOrvillecopterPeterSerious CatShironekoShocked and Appalled CatShortcatShotacatSilencer CatSpaghetti CatSpeedycatStanding CatStarecatStalking CatStubbs the mayorcatTacgnolThat Fucking CatTrollcatsTubcatTulipWeathercatZippocat

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Featured article August 31 & September 1, 2012
Preceded by
Unrealistic expectations
Orvillecopter Succeeded by
Art School
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