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OldDirtyBtard

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NEVAR!!!! This user was willing to die for the lulz... and did.
Winner of the 2010 Golden iPod.
;_;


Sean Carasov (November 17, 1961 - October 30, 2010), also known on the Internet as Rorschach, and most notably as former ED administrator OldDirtyBtard (not to be confused with the far less badass Wu-tang Clan member) was the most dramatic person to ever control the banhammer for ED. In short, he was the Dos Equis guy. Among his notable traits are his being British, having an æ tattoo, shooting off his own pinky just to watch it die, getting DUI's on consecutive nights, lieking Mudkips, accidentally inventing the word EDiot, being a macfag (as he got one for free), having a sister who appeared naked on the Queen single Bicycle Race, managing the Beastie Boys, shooting up an Armenian's car, marrying strippers, working in porn because it was less scummy than the music industry, corrupting his underage nephew into becoming an internet troll, having his beloved cat killed by Scientologists and almost killing himself over it... while being drunk, pilled up and daydreaming about Thailand the entire time.

During his stay at ED, ODB always amused ED IRC with anecdotes of promoting Q-Tip and getting eppigy to lose his oline on Christmas. He also notably got arrested for DUI's on consecutive nights (and got off scot free), shot off his pinky to see what it'd feel like, quit alcohol forever, fell off the wagon 6 months later, shot up an Armenian's car for honking too much, and managed to find ED funny despite being nearly 50 years old.

Contents

Pre-ED

ODB was an irl troll back when ED was but a twinkle twinkie in Girlvinyl's eye. He used to manage the Beastie Boys and protect everyone's favorite Jews from record company higher-up Jews.

It was around this 45-year-period that ODB had a falling out with the guy who ran Warner Music Group into the ground, Lyor Cohen. He wasn't bitter though.

On Encyclopedia Dramatica

ODB came to ED on July 15, 2006 with an unassuming edit to the Troll article. His first major article was the Jewnited States of Americunts, thanks to an obligatory hatred for everything non-English (and English as well). He was a major contributor ever since being sysopped. Not long after getting his banhammer, ODB ran his favorite pet project, Lulz News Network on the ED Main Page. Like everything else that made the Captain happy, this was to be taken away by the Jews in charge and replaced with a new web 2.0 front page to try to attract advertisers.

Probably due to his hatred of Americans who pulled off a massive troll by surrounding his home in HelLA as well as his massive opiate and alcohol dependencies, OCD, and need to feel useful, ODB holds the record for most edits to this hole of a website. Sadly, ODB's ED decline began with the advent of MysteryBot, which basically did everything ODB did for free. ODB invented the term PakiBot for its ability to do the same job for much cheaper.

ODB did everything he could to keep ED alive and thriving in 2008, including getting a wave of 13 newbies sysopped and becoming a leaderfag in the chanology movement. On many occasions though ODB had been known to show his primacy by cutting uppity sysops down to size.

Chanology Activities

Nuvola
Moar info: Rorschach.

For those who weren't aware, ODB was Rorschach. Scientologists killed his kitty, Mudkips. Never forget.

Loved

Hated

Suicide

His exit strategy post on his LiveJournal.
 
 

ODB is a bitter Socialist who thinks mass suicides would stick it to The Man. To wit, he wrote this.

In most cases, life is not worth living. The idea that happiness is a raison d'etre logically means that nearly everyone is unhappy (after being born a blank slate). So unhappiness is the norm -the meaning of life- and the quest for happiness is merely a by-product and not our natural condition. Looking for happiness then is not that different than looking for a good drug dealer with good drugs.

99% of human beings serve no real, 'natural' purpose or reason to keep on going through the motions whatsoever. The majority of the world's population is just the means of production by which the few attain "happiness" (altho, I don't know many truly happy rich folk).

Sure most become 'necessary' thanks to manmade things like economies -to make them work- but economies would not be necessary if there were no humans. Pretty much everything we do as humans is built around the notion of perpetuating a species -to the detriment of all others- that has not shown any proof that it deserves a place on this planet as part of the ecosystem.

All the 'good', 'worthwhile' stuff people have done -and continue to do- is only 'good' and 'worthwhile' when put into the context of the human condition/experience. Splitting the atom and curing cancer is pretty useless to every other creature on the planet.

I read a book called "The Sirens of Titan" by Kurt Vonnegut recently and the punchline of the story is that the entire sum of all human knowledge/achievement over thousands of years was little more than a works project by an alien race from another galaxy trying to send a message to one of their own stranded in another galaxy. The message was that they were sending help.

If only we were actually that useful.
 


 

—ODB, The Case For Rational Suicide (abridged)


Kthxbye - never forget.
 
 
Hello, I know most of you are punks who think they are going to troll the

emailing list by saying "cool story bro", but I will still take the time to inform you that OldDirtyBtard is believed to have killed himself on Saturday night. ODB was a noted 50 year old English asshole who could make you laugh. He had been saying he was going to kill himself for a long time, but was waiting for his cats to die so nothing was depending on him.

ODB was a career alcoholic who quit but got bored with it and went back to the sauce. Please do a shot in honor of the captain, it's what he would've wanted.

inb4 tl;dr inb4 cool story bro inb4 edgy email list trolling
 


 

Sheneequa, ED Users list

Services

Memorial services were held for The Captain on November 14, 2010 in Los Angeles. Family and friends from all over attended. Anon, ED and various people from the music industry were also there. It was a wake that Sean himself would have approved of had he been there to see it. Although it didn't get recorded in the video of the services, this was probably the first time in history that a room full of people got Rickrolled by a bagpipe player. Srsly.



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