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Miss Landmine

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Your sympathies, can we have them?

Vote fer me???

As if no one knew that rampant atrocities plague the underdeveloped hellhole that is the zulu nation, some Norwegian artist named Morten Traavik has developed a fucking freakshow/beauty contest for Angolan women who have had their goddamn limbs blown off by landmines. Exploitation much? Yes, much, considering Traavik is doing it all in an attempt to get people to buy prosthetics from a company that he has stake in.

Contents

Direct From Morten’s Mouth

The reason behind so many missing legs.

"The Miss Landmine project is a way to lure female landmine survivors into putting out for people with an amputee fetish and then collecting money from said sick fucks. If it is successful, I may someday be able to move the fuck out of this shitbox of a country that I live in and do something productive with my life besides preying on the crippled and calling it art or a socially conscious beauty pagent.

Depending on the level of interest from local black person, each cripple may be whored out as many as twenty times a day. Each Miss Landmine is a representative in her own province, with the responsibilities of sucking dong, fisting ass, drinking nutbutter and providing her box for any and all rape fantasies. These women will assist other amputees in the same situation and monitor ways of empowerment, such as getting what you're worth and spreading AIDS as much as possible.

We are hopeful that the Miss Landmine pilot may function as a catalyst, both to Angola and internationally, for the project to grow and develop, with or without the assistance of the original Miss Landmine team."

The Miss Landmine Manifesto

What?? You still have all ur legs!!! Come to daddy.
  • Female humiliation and objectification.
  • Disabled female humiliation and objectification.
  • Worldwide lulz.
  • Heightened inferiority and/or guilt complexes.
  • Question the abilities of landmines and ponder why the fuck they don't finish the job the first go around.
  • Celebrate tragedy and brutality.
  • Replace the term 'survivor' with the term 'Goddamn Tax Wasting Victim'

And have a good time for all involved while doing so!

Who Will You Vote For?

Of the 10 contestants, 3 are employed. Miss Moxico cited "Boss" as her dream job and Miss Uige cited "Street Vendor" as her dream job, while Miss HUÍLA said she would do anything, which is probably the best CV you can have if you want a job there. Miss Benguela said her favorite color is Sand??? Miss Malanje has only a head and torso. And lastly, of the 10 contestants 8 have children niglets and 1 is pregnant yet only 1 is married, and 10 of the 10 goddesses displaying stumps huff ass hash.

Current Frontrunners for the crown:

  • Avid huffer of ass hash
  • Appears to be 64 yet is only 17
  • Aspirations: None
  • Hobbies: Getting raped
  • Favorite color: Sand?
"Yeah I take it in the ass, so what??"
  • Has double the oxygen intake in a single breath than a normal human
  • Occupation: Rapist
  • Hobbies: Raping
  • Favorite food: Hyena haunch after a good rape
  • Wants to win it for her mother (whom she's never met)

VOTE NOW, VOTE OFTEN


Miss Landmine is part of a series of topics related to Black People
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AfricaAfro-chanAtlantaDead Nigger StorageE.S. Nigger Brown StandEgyptGambia ♠ The GhettoHabbo HotelKenyaLiberiaMediatakeoutMozambiqueNawlinsPrisonRepublic of Sierra LeoneSomaliaSouth AfricaSudanTanzaniaWashington, DCZimbabwe

Personas

AboriginalBlackineseBoko HaramChavCripsGothNativeNiggerNegressNigraOFWGKTAWiggerYounger Woolwich Boyz

People

Abner LouimaAdria RichardsAfro NinjaAfroduckAinsley HarriottAlison FloydAl SharptonAmanda KijeraAntoine DodsonBags of MoneyBANGSBarry BondsBernie MacBill ClintonBarack Hussein ObamaBLACKbusterCriticBLACK_MANBomani ArmahBrandon PhillipsBrenda WilliamsC-NOTECandyJunkieCarltonCasey BrezikCharlie Check'mCharles RamseyChris DornerCondoleezza RiceCRoadwarriorCulexorDangermanDave ChappelleDcigsDramasetterDr. Laura SchlessniggerFresh PrinceFuture the rapperGary ColemanHappy NegroHerman CainIsaac HayesJames WatsonJesse JacksonJkidJoseph KonyKerney ThomasKobe BryantLatarian MiltonLil BLoud NigraM0M0koMadThad0890MajelaZeZeDiamondMalcolm XMark EssexMartin Luther King, Jr.Marvin Morvan and Alex TeniolaMary Alice AltorferMaurice ClemmonsMichael JacksonMichael VickMike TysonMintahMiss LandmineMr PregnantMr. TMuteba KidiabaMychal BellNawlinWikiNicki MinajNigger PigOFWGKTAOG LocOJ SimpsonOld Spice GuyOprah WinfreyP DiddyPurple AkiQueen KongReverend XRobert Butler Jr.Rocky LockridgeRon MexicoRucasRudy EugeneSenator Barack Hussein ObamaSheneequaSoulja BoyStarlaglamSteve Hodder-WattSweet BrownRick RossTacgnolTarisai VusheTay ZondayTedius ZanarukandoThe Booty WarriorThe CrackheadThe TrashmanTiger WoodsTookie WilliamsTony48219Tony EvereadyTrayvon MartinTyra BanksUnMaskingTheTruthValisHDWrong Location Nigger

Parlance

Are You Serious?BECAUSE MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUDBix NoodBOOYA!Dat AssEbonicsENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK ITFirst World ProblemsFlea Market MontgomeryFuck The PoliceGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleHack is Wack!Happy NegroI Go Chop Your DollarImma Let You Finish IM PRESSIN CHARGESNiggers tongue my anusNot racistRead a BookScrub Me Mama With A Boogie BeatSittin On Tha ToiletSmell yo dickThanks ObamaThe BoondocksThese CuffsWHOO

Pastimes

365Black.com419 Nigerian Email ScamsBasketballBlackbirdBooty ShakingChikinsChimpoutConspiracy theoriesDogo Nahawa MassacreDolemiteFUBUJenkemKFC Double DownKool-AidLinux for NiggersNigga Know TechnologyPool's ClosedRacismRapRapeRiotsSoulja Boy Tellem ChatSwagThe Black SentinelThe Great Black Dick Hoax (see also Niggerdick and Niggercock)TwitterUbuntuVoodooVuvuzelaWatermelonzWorldstar Hiphop

Past

BLACK FACE contempoLynchingNO NIGGERSSlavery (see also Nigger Manual)

Present

AIDSAll The Niggers Are DeadBlack People Love Us!Chocolate RainComputer Science IIICulexorGay Nigger Association of AmericaJena SixP.A. PalaceThere are no niggers on the InternetUnemployment ♠ and Welfare

Enemies

A. Wyatt MannAznCopsEbola virusEmploymentEpic Beard ManIlluminatiKu Klux KlanJames WatsonJohnny RebelJustine SaccoKramerRacismSpicsWhite people


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