From Encyclopedia Dramatica
THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ.
THEY GOT TIRED OF PLAYING SOLO
IT'S A MAN, BABY!
Laurelai is actually a man in RL.
Enjoy your cock
Laurelai snitched on his friends to the FBI.
Laurelai (aka Raziel and Laurelai Bailey) is a failed troll, Harry Potter cosplayer, and obnoxiously proud male-to-female transsexual. Laurelai was somewhat known for hosting a little used Chanology forum, attempting to be the tranny-Hitler of the Reddit gay bar, and overall making a huge ass of himself on a daily basis. To make up for having a 4" penis even before his magical revelation that he is a woman, Laurelai has been and is still obsessed with power and believes itself to be a hacker, despite his technical knowledge being limited to "ask NekoArc to beg some script kiddie to packet everyone who makes me upset". Laurelai claims to suffer from a wide array of mental and physical disorders, all of which can be clumped into the "general laziness" category, forcing him to live a lifestyle of squatting in the home of whoever accepts him and proceeding to take advantage of them till he gets thrown out. The "please can I sleep in your house and eat your food for free" cycle repeats itself once every few months, and is quickly becoming in short supply of people who actually have the sympathy to take Laurelai in.
This is what she actually believes as a "radical transfeminist" (i.e. a men's rights advocate)
Under any circumstances, do not let Laurelai guilt you into letting him move in with you, seriously keep reading.
I Cast Magick Missile!
How Laurelai looks in the mind of Laurelai
Laurelai is a practicing Wiccan (read: religious tree-hugger) and former Reverend of the Divine Lotus, thus he believes that his inner magick is real. For years Laurelai has been casting protective spells on himself to ensure that their enemies cannot harm them, obviously producing completely successful results.
||Laurelai is a known Fed enabler, avoid them at all costs.
Laurelai in September 2013, describing how it is going to sue the shit
out of Encyclopedia Dramatica.
Before becoming the self-proclaimed quee-king of Reddit traps, Laurelai tried making a name for itself as a blackhat hacker in the group Gn0sis, the predecessor of Lulzsec. The group, lead by Sabu, took credit for the HBGary Hack and the eventual crash-and-burn of their president Aaron Barr, in an act of extreme moralfaggotry exposing some government spying bullshit that nobody outside of Anonops gave a fuck about. Despite being an IT professional, Laurelai's only contributions to the group were indignant whining and leaking private chat logs to the FBI. Hesheit was hastily disowned by anyone and everyone who values the lulz, and would become a punching bag for Lulzsec until they inevitably bit off more than they can chew.
Months later during the Lulzsec investigation, its home would be raided by agents seeking information on a member who pretended to be a 16 year old girl. The person in question would later be revealed as a 20-something male britfag, however since Laurelai was under the impression that this person was an underage girly hacker, questions arise as to whether or not this disgusting piece of shit is actually a pedophile.
Mom, Dad? It's Official... It's Spousal Abuse!
Before pimping out his wife and deciding he was born a girl despite not being born a girl, Laurelai spent years being a neglectful husband, ignoring every desperate email sent by his lonesome wife. Such examples can be read below.
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After getting into a scuffle with 711chan, Laurelai (Raziel at the time) decided to try to get their hosting pulled by emailing the upstream. He screencapped this and bragged about it in his admin forums on Sci-Ex. Classy guy!
I housed Laurelai for three months. My boyfriend and I brought her here under the guise she was going to freeze to death in her shitty trailer in Iowa (bullshit obviously -- should have really done more research... stupid us). Of course, she had her kids at the time. Solution? Give them to the wife she pimped out (true story -- she really did pimp out her wife, and bragged about it). She also tried to repeatedly break up my boyfriend and I because she felt I was taking her resources. She did this by constantly implying we needed couples' counselling (one to talk!) over stupid fights that SHE deliberately set off at the worst times. She also went out on the internet to be a beggar because she refused to come eat with us (we eat out a LOT and she apparently "can't walk too far anymore" and insisted on not being woken up -- tl;dr lazy cunt). Several times she would come storming out of her room when I peeked my *mouth* (not even my head) in to tell her it was time to eat, getting in my face and being generally obnoxious... I acted calm but really I almost hit her in the face. She came to our house under the guise she was going to work -- we even bought a laptop for her for this purpose. What did she do with it? Use it for nothing but reddit and did 0% work yet claimed she did. She finally left when her cellphone started working again (signalling time to leave I guess... phones don't turn themselves on you know...) and what did she do? Ran to some friend in Arkansas (Kayla came and picked her up... maybe you've heard of her, but Kayla is a truly spiteful cunt and the perfect friend for Laurelai). She got us death threats from people on reddit IRL until she was forced to step down -- true story. Really though, part of the shitstorm was due to her being a cunt on Reddit and pissing other people off. I advise everyone stay away from this bitch AND DON'T DO WHAT WE DID!!! She is treacherous and can't be trusted.
Laurelai on Reddit
Laurelai, post "transition", found in his native habitat - a shithole trying to e-conquer Reddit.
Laurelai spends up to 20 hours a day on Reddit, where he used to moderate several of the LGBT boards, but still moderates the transgender boards. Laurelai is also known for banning people who disagree with him and generally being an intolerable cunt, in the process pissing everyone off. Here he is being an excellent trans-friendly moderator. He's also known for framing a doctor as as pedophile. In spite of all of his whining about creating a "safe space" and being a social justice warrior, Laurelai is actually a racist, a homophobe, an anti-semite, a false rape accuser, and a rapist.
After perfecting his moderating abilities at the LGBT subreddit and making it a welcoming place for all "non-cis-heteros", Laurelai decided he was going to gracefully step down as a mod after claiming some neckbeard called his house and threatened to burn it down. He then tried to make everyone feel guilty for driving him off by appointing "an even more radical trans-feminist than [him]" named RobotAnna.
Meanwhile, Laurelai was busy shitting up reddit's transgender, occupywallstreet, anonymous, and anarchism subreddits. Even though Laurelai admits he is not an anon, Laurelai still moderates r/anonymous. During one year, Laurelai removed four other mods from r/transgender, banned over 9000 users, and prompted one of the mods to leave & post logs of the modmail, as proof of Laurelai's shitlordiness. Lately, Laurelai has been hallucinating while sober. (Scroll and read the bottom) This may be because Laurelai is holy shitballs insane.
Laurelai also fears getting doxxed, but will happily dox:
1. The doctor (mentioned above), again and again, to win an internet argument.
2. A fellow troll.
3. The guy who brought that troll to reddit.
4. A 15 year old girl, who Laurelai was creeping on. (This is also why Laurelai was banned from r/ShitRedditSays, but Laurelai just used an alt to get around the ban.)
Breakdown of the situation
Laurelai at nenolod's place
It appears nenolod and his fiance wrote a letter for readers everywhere to enjoy. Mirrored Forever For Truth And Love.
I think it's high time Laurelai be outed for who she is...
I made the stupid mistake of accepting Laurelai into me and my boyfriend's home (relocating her from Iowa at a whopping cost of $1000, which was whatever as we had just sold our house for considerably more) three months ago, around New Years Day. I can't believe I made this stupid mistake. We thought she 1) got the short end of the stick as the FBI visit was wrongful (she wasn't in Lulzsec -- I swear this part is one of the few true things she has ever said), 2) she wasn't so bad (this part was bullshit). I will now explain why I don't believe either of these reasons were true.
Now, I proposed Laurelai come here and use her many contacts to market a product that was really a front for the other things the company had planned. I should make note of that -- she wasn't doing anything major. She was literally there to be a social networking whore. That's all. Instead this sort of backfired, but we take responsibilty for that aspect. She was also sort of here "for the lulz" as we thought it'd be hilarious. Well, it was... in that I get to reveal this much about her.
For starters, she abandoned her kids in Iowa with her ex-wife who she bragged about how she slept with just before she left even though her ex-wife had a new boyfriend. She also bragged a lot about her she pimped out her wife -- which is public record, but still, that's fucko. She liked to talk massive shit about her kids and how they drove her nuts and couldn't stand them, then subsequently get pesudo-angry when anyone called her out on it. Yeah.
Something Laurelai markets as a point of pride is the fact she is a massive social engineer. She is such a great engineer she makes a point in telling this to me and my family. My mother, who had just moved here a few months ago, didn't have much to give anyone. Since her cigarette addiction, well, costs a lot of money (she will tell you she smokes a pack a day -- a more realistic number is around 4), she had to get smokes from somewhere. She used to take them from the people who had the least: my family (a very low income family, which houses 5 of my siblings), random bums on the street (yes, she took cigarettes from bums), and random people in parking lots who were people I wouldn't want to interact wth normally. Here's the even more despicable part: she used to engineer food from people by claiming we didn't feed her. This is all bullshit. She will tell you her fat arse lost weight from not eating; here's the truth: she slept 14 hours a day after smoking weed (she would take what little funds she got (as she did no real work for our company) and just buy weed and sleep) and was insistent on not being woken up. She in fact, would scream and verbally abuse us for such, and warn us not to do so lest fear physical violence. Now see, in this household we generally eat out a lot (>10x weekly). The reality is she wouldn't get up and come with us to go eat. She would rather sleep, or when she wasn't sleeping, Skype. She would then go on the internet and try to get us pizza (which we didn't need) by engineering people and tell them we were starving her and she had lost weight -- which was good, it made her almost look like a woman and less like Fat Bastard. When we did make food at home, she would often let it sit on the counter for hours at a time to the point where I just ate it -- in retrospect she would wait for me to eat it -- and then whine about how I had eaten her food that had sat there getting cold for 5 hours despite being told there was food.
Which leads me to my next point. She was VERY insistent on privacy, which is cool and all, but apparently even peeking my mouth into a doorway to tell someone food is ready because they aren't listening is an egregious privacy violation (the truth is she didn't want her friends finding out we were feeding her... yep). She would then storm out of the room naked (picture a short, ugly 30 year old transwoman who is quite overweight and has a really tiny cock) screaming at me to knock or "else." Yes, in my own house, she had the gaul to get in my face because I told her friend she had food. I acted calm but the reality is only self-restraint and a knowledge she would be psycho enough to press charges kept me from hitting her in her face, and I'm generally very nonviolent.
She also tried to break up me and my boyfriend on numerous occasions by starting really bad fights and setting us by the ears. She would often suggest we needed "couples counselling" or "to break up" -- strong words coming from the woman who bragged about pimping out her wife (which I called her out on when I had enough of her shit). Ever since she has left our household me and my boyfriend have gotten along better than ever and have both realised what Laurelai was doing -- starting stupid pointless arguments and blowing things out of proportion, and riling us up at key moments. It was generally, as they say, bullshit. My best theory as to why she was doing this was because she wanted the resources I consumed for herself. I come to this reasoning because she liked to point out how I ate her food all the time (see above) and consumed lots of drink (I didn't consume any more than she did, in fact, less). Yes, this woman has a few screws loose, but that's to be expected from the likes of her.
I would like to remark she is not a very good transwoman. Most people who encounter her find her to be a joke of a transwoman. I am transgender and a bit of a tomboy (yes, transwomen can be tomboys, there's no rule against it :p) but she did not take her transition seriously. Her HRT consisted of black market spiro only which without estrogen will result in brittle bones and could result in a hip fracture and associated complications like osteonecrosis (as an EMT in training I know). She enjoyed living under the radar and didn't want taxes withheld (for reasons she wouldn't disclose -- mostly 'cause she was a chode) so she would have never gotten it fixed. She likes to go around bitching to people that off of HRT she is whiny and awful and paranoid. This is all false. She showed up here without HRT, and was fine. Laurelai doesn't want to be a transwoman. She wants to be a chick with a dick and get the privileges of a woman plus the feminism. I think it's part of some attention gathering scheme.
She also liked to claim she was deeply involved in OWS and claimed she was in NYC several times. She tried to claim Occupy Tulsa was not run by hipsters or hijacked by out of towners -- both of which I witnessed first hand. I mean, I only live here, and have lived here longer than she has, I think I'd know an out of towner, whilst she's just a pilferer-descended sociopathic lunatic from Arkansas who liked to refer to the Benton County jail as a "supermax" (it was just a regular jail -- again, just a stupid chode).
She especially likes to use the trans thing as a bargaining chip in arguments. If I ever hear the words "cisgender piece of shit" again in my life I will blow a fuse or two. She really, really hates cisgender people -- or so she claims. I think she's doing it for the attention and the controversy, like the claiming to be Raziel bullshit. In order to get more people into her percieved imaginary army (yes she feels her friends are a personal army -- even us, which well, we broke her of that REAL fast), she considers anyone with any gender dysphoria transgender for the sake of argument and controversy. Never mind this includes 60% of the planet who have at one time or another have had some form of gender dysphoria. Just because you have an occasional moment where you feel you want to be the other gender does not make you transgender, what makes you transgender is when you're putting on the opposite gender's clothing and living as such. I think the fact of the matter is she sees being transgender as a social club and she wants all the privileges, e.g., manipulating poor community members, using it as an excuse for doing stupid shit as she "has lived past her expected life span" (she hasn't for America), etc.
Also, her drama from Reddit kept spreading to my IRL social circles. I know a Reddit administrator who warned me in fact that people were witch-hunting us and threatening to burn our house down (which isn't surprising given our part of Oklahoma has a large gay community that felt marginalised in /r/lgbt and a LOT of them are seriously fucking scary). Make no mistake though -- in the end her resignation was forced, partially due to us threatening to disconnect her from the Internet, and partially since people and Reddit admins had enough of her shit. Plain and simple.
She also has a serious internet addiction problem. We got her a company laptop (which wasn't for her per se -- it was the company's laptop, but I'll get to why we let her keep it). Using your laptop in public is one thing. Using the damn thing at a cheque cashing place in the hood is another. There was a bloody pawn shop across the street. She just sat there in the cheque cashing place using her laptop with black people staring and all (in her world, nobody was around). she also would randomly start using it when walking until the hotspot was turned off. What was she doing the entire time? Reddit and IRC. Mostly Reddit.
One thing Laurelai did once was bring her friend (who was a hooker -- not even kidding) from Colorado here to our house and smoke PCP-laced weed (my brother, my ex-pothead boyfriend, and I all concurred, having smelled PCP laced weed before, her weed had dust in it). Her friend brought a giant German Shepherd. Now, we have this old Savannah cat named Notch. For those of you who don't know what a Savannah is, it's a cat who is 1/4 serval, a type of African wildcat. Cujo as I affectionately referred to him as was attacked several times by this unauthorised dog who just thought it was ok to do that. They left in a hurry and Laurelai ran off to Colorado for a week, only to come back on Greyhound when this friend realised "lol this was a bad idea" after coming off her high. Did I mention this hooker lady has a kid apparently? And does drugs? Yeah. Truly enlightening individual.
Now, towards the end of her stay with us, she ran off with this one FtM chick from southern Oklahoma. Unfortunately, this person found out about Laurelai's past and returned her to sender about 3 days later. Laurelai stayed with us for 24 hours before running off to Arkansas. What triggered the running? Well, her phone started working out of the blue -- not even kidding. It just started working again for no apparent reason, being able to make calls and everything. She told us that she was apparently wanted for testimony by the US Marshalls. As it turns out though, Laurelai could have ran off with these people at any time and not frozen to death in Iowa. Congratulations me, you got played by a total fucking shitcunt. As for the $1500 macbook we let her keep? (btw, total bill of expenses for her: $4,000, in the grand scheme of things just a pittance) We let her keep it. It has a GPS chip in it anyway and we don't care about it anymore. We just didn't want the feds showing up and seizing it.
So yeah, post-exit, Laurelai has apparently been hiding in Arkansas but I've heard other things like she's with this other IRC friend or whatever. I don't really care. I think Laurelai has found someone else to use for now until they realise she's a piece of shit and a puddle of piss.
All I can say is, if Laurelai ever says anything, take it with a grain of salt, and good riddance to the bitch.
One should note that this strikes a level of similarity to previous Laurelai-related incidents on a creepy level. Laurelai's only comment on the matter being:
he she IT Only God Knows Now Is MAD
Living with Deviance
Deviance was also one of the many people who pitied Laurelai enough to take him into his home. He was graced with the typical Laurelai experience, which included paying for his squatting ass while he did what he does best. Eventually Laurelai snapped at Deviance's kid and got an iPad stolen, resulting in the final straw and being kicked out yet again.
Laurelai living with Zombie
While Laurelai was living with Zombie, they had an argument one day, and then the day after they had sex...to which Laurelai claimed it was rape because he never uses enough lube and it was unenjoyable for him. This story got out after Laurelai moved on to the next person to mooch off of. Also mirrored forever For Truth And Love.
The Truth about Laurelai needs to get out:
It's about time that someone went ahead and exposed this person for the manipulitive bitch she is. Laurelai is a very familiar name to a lot of you here on reddit. I had the misfortune of interacting with her in person for about a month. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
First off, I will not be posting any personal information here. Not because I care about what happens to this person but because I don't want harm to come to the people that may have also interacted with her.
Not at the beginning of July I was told that if I could house Laurelai for a short time that she wouldn't cause any trouble. Now I guess me being the person I am was stupid enough to believe this and spent ~$300 in gas to get this person. Yeah I realize that I was a fool for believing what I was told, but that's what makes me who I am.
On to the first week, SO everything is going okay, I'm letting her settle into where she lives. One thing I was not told, was she does nothing but reddit or IRC during the day, and on top of that she is active with [REMOVED PER REDDIT RULES]. Yet I am made uncomfortable when I am getting messaged on my personal site by someone that knows my home address and who I am living with, as well as my full name.
I digress, what I have come to say is that like the pastebin that has been floating around on the net, Laurelai is impossible to live with, I understand that you may have certain food allergies that prevent you from eating foods. Yet I do not think it is that hard to, after or during the time you make food for yourself, to clean up and dispose of anything that needs to be put in the trash. This person does not understand the concept of cleaning up after yourself. In any way. I believe that had I not gotten up in the morning to clean up the mess that was left the night before, nothing would have gotten done. My living partner rarely if ever showered, and the smell was actually enough to get ingrained into my apartment(I am actually in the process of getting rid of the couch this person slept on), but rarely showering I mean 3-4 times in a month, and even then I doubt the water even touched a part of this person's body. Food was left out over night, drinks were half finished and left sitting where ever, dishes were left in the sink until I came along to do them. This person never left the screen they were sitting in, be it playing video games or on a combination of IRC/Reddit. This person made no effort to bring in money to help pay for the things she needed, nor did she make an effort to find employment, made harder by the fact she has no form of ID. I did offer to help her get the necessary documents to find employment, come to find out she does not want a “conventional” job but instead wants to be a sex worker, and while I have no problem with this I do have a problem with random johns in my living area.
NOW there are claims by her here on reddit that I raped her, now yes we had “sexual relations” all with her consent. We had an argument one night and I will admit I did fly off the handle at the state of my apartment. After that (4 days) we did engage in a sexual act( I recommend NOT DOING ANYTHING SEXUAL WITH THIS PERSON) again, verbal consent was given, several times. On August 6th when I drover her to [REMOVED PER REDDIT RULES] to hand her over to a new roommate I was made aware by a mutual friend that they were told that I forcibly raped her. These are false allegations and they are being spread by someone that has an extreme internet addiction, a few hours without internet and they get extremely hostile and look for other ways to get online.
My partner and I were also harassed and attacked over twitter, her tweets have since been deleted.
TL;DR- There is no TL;DR read it and inform yourselves.
My stuff that I feel applies to this that I've been made aware of and want to pass on to you all
Unfortunately when Zombie posted the following screenshots to /r/casualIAMA, he got shadowbanned because reddit doesn't allow personal info
Right around the same time after NekoArc told Zombie about the fake rape bullshit, Laurelai flipped shit like always does.
Which also goes to show that Laurelai doesn't like this article. If any harassment comes to yours truly, it's because of this most likely lol
Nudes (TRIGGER WARNING: TRANNY COCK)
Oh and a sextape!
So apparently laurelai forced someone to have sex with him
One day while a friend was staying over at where Laurelai is living currently, some drama occured while he was playing autismcraft with a mutual friend of Greenduch. The story goes that Laurelai was killed and the sperged and blogged about it for a week on a few irc channels until Wesley was called out on being an autismal fuckwit and said person gets banned from a community. Somewhere between, apparently little Wessy proceded to get said person drunk and then fucked her face and tried to get her to fuck him in the ass to no avail. After all that happend, said person had some fun on a few Reddit subs she had mod on and changed the css a little bit
Laurelai has recently taken to grooming young children on the Minecraft server, Civcraft, which is a reddit based server that places emphasis on sociopolitical conflict between it's players. They have recently begun playing empire and countless lulz are to be had.
—Laurelai getting hurt in the butt over people ruining her dreams of empire on the server
—Typical empty threat from Laurelai