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Jenkem

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I became probably the first person in America to huff his own shit gas.
 

 

—pickwick

Jenkem, known by Fox News as "butt hash", is a cheap and nasty quasi-drug invented in Zambia and Zimbabwe, made by fermenting your own shit and piss in a plastic container. The resulting fumes are then inhaled through the nose. It has a very rough high that first consists of wanting to kill yourself, followed by a very long period of total body numbness. It lasts for approximately 7 hours and is highly addictive, both physically and psychologically. Jenkem is also an old meme turned fresh thanks to a sheriff's bulletin plagiarizing this very article. That is until time did its thing and made it ancient and dried up.

The lyrics of Chocolate Rain refer to the practice and social effects of jenkem abuse.

Enough said.
Pickwick: "Where did you learn that, son?!"
Pickwick Jr: "From you, dad! I learned it from watching you!"
I've made a fresh jar!
Can't say that we do.
Your certificate of authenticity.

Contents

Synthesizing Jenkem

  • Supplies you need:

-One way ticket to Zambia.
-At least 6 months of time. Excrement.
-2 girls, 1 cup (waterproof container, such as a jar or soda bottle).

  • Step 1: Move to Zambia and live there at for least 3 months in a slum.
  • Step 2: Find the most fermented patch of fecal matter in the vicinity and scoop it out with your container.
  • Step 3: Inhale until you forget you live in Africa and you start to hear your dead grandmother talking to you.

Commercial Terms for Jenkem™

  • Original Zambian Butt-Shit-Gas Jenkem™ Sometime before 1998: The first and only truly historic Jenkem™ made from the excrement of desperate Zambians before commercialization. Best and unique. Sold out. Ask your country's embassy in Zambia how to obtain a sample.

Slang Terms for Jenkem

HUFF JENK
Photograph of a boy soldier recently killed in the Sub-Saharan Conflict over Jenkem™ production and export rights.
The jenk just drives users war-crazy.
  • Winnie Mandela
  • Shit
  • Butt-Hash
  • Runners
  • Brown Dragon
  • Waste
  • Fruit from the Crack Pipe
  • The Jenk
  • "J" (not to be confused with "MJ"!)
  • Devil's Chocolate
  • Leroy Jenkems
  • Brown Eyed Girl
  • Goatsejuice
  • Huffing the Cosbys
  • Butt-Shit-Gas
  • Sambian Crack
  • Ass Candy
  • Shit Whippets






Jenkem Facts

  • An episode of South Park where kids huff cat piss was inspired by Jenkem, and Jenkem is mentioned in the end as a method for getting high. Gerald Jew describes Jenkem as fermented shit.
  • Jenkem was a hoax. That's right - You've been breathing shit for nothing. HAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS

Totse Member tries Jenkem

The Sandwich Chef explains Jenkem.
"I have deleted the pictures, hopefully no weirdo saved them to his computer."
This bulletin almost looks like half of it was plagiarized off of ED...
Varlet, where be thy jenkeme now?
This picture got around the world: Pickwick's famous balloon. He is the one and only known person whoever used a balloon; is this just show, or is it an improvement in synthesis?
 
 
I never inhaled any poop gas and got high off it," he wrote on Sept. 24. "I have deleted the pictures, hopefully no weirdo saved them to his computer. I just don't want people to ever recognize me as the kid who huffed poop gas.
 

 

—Pickwick, the kid who huffed poop gas


Not satisfied with huffing Raid, this 14 year old Totse member decided to get high on Jenkem, and posted pictures of the process (including him shitting in a bottle) in this lengthy thread:

Recently Pickwick now famous for waking and jenking got scared for his IRL reputation and claimed that he was totally playin' ya'lls! That wasn't poo, just flour, water, beer and Nutella!

Last Thursday, A sheriff's report got leaked onto the internets with pictures from the Totse thread with some terms lifted from this very page. This report (seen pictured right -->) spread through the media and was reported by many news outlets (see external links). As usual, Faux News did not refrain from covering it on their site, which led to a great outburst of lulz.

 
 
...Butt Hash...
 

 

Fox News' Jack Miller

Hear that last bit? Fox actually thinks there's an outside chance that poopin' in a container and sniffing it could be considered illegal. Not that they want to control *everything* you think and do. Holy shit, they said fucking butthash on TV. All is now right with the world. They said, fucking BUTTHASH, on TV.

You're never too young for it!

Recently, anonymous has claimed that this sheriffs report was also inspired by a lengthy copypasta posted on /b/ at 09/17/07(Mon) at 11:41:37 AM, post No.39748743:

Step 1. email this to a school principal.
I am writing you anonymously because I do not want my child to get in any trouble,
but I need to alert you to something your students are doing that is potentially very
dangerous. Yesterday afternoon I came home early to find my son and his friends
getting high on something called "jenkem" which they say they heard about at school.
This "jenkem" is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard of. They urinate and defecate
in plastic bottles and leave them to ferment in the sun, then inhale the resulting gas.
I know it sounds unreal but when I came home I found my son and his friends laying
on the grass in the backyard and they were acting very strangely. There was a horrible,
putrid smell in the air. I can't believe my son would do something like this. I looked it
up on the internet and apparently this was something invented by African children that
wound up online and now kids all over the world are doing it. My son says most of his
friends at school have tried it.

This seems to be a new thing and I can't find any information about the health effects
of jenkem - I think it is the methane and ammonia content that provides the desired high,
but I don't really know. Both of those are very harmful chemicals. All sorts of diseases
are spread through fecal matter. I imagine it could lead to some very serious health
problems at your school. My wife and I are utterly shocked and talking about private
school. We have spoken to our son about this and he says he won't do it anymore, but
because it is on the internet kids all over the country are trying jenkem and they need
to be educated about the health risks. It is only a matter of time before somebody dies
from methane poisoning or this leads to a hepatitis outbreak. I don't know exactly what
you could do about this as jenkem is legal but I needed to inform you of what some of
your students are doing.


Step 2. ???
Step 3. PROFIT

pic unrelated

A Trip report found on USENET

Chaunchybigfists jenkem tattoo dedicated to his favorite past time.

So I was on Wikipedia the other day checking out the stuff on hallucinogens when I discovered a popular chemical in Africa called "Jenkem". After reading up on the Internet about some popular recipes, a few friends of mine decided to go and produce some of this potent hallucinogen. The first part of our journey involved a trip to the local sewage treatment plant, where we filled some empty coke bottles half-full with the potent sludge we found in the cleaning tanks.

We hid the bottles behind a bush, letting them ferment for a few hours while we went to smoke some marijuana. After about 4 hours of fermentation, we went to retrieve our putrid creations.

One at a time, we all inhaled the jenkem we had created. The odor was viscous, but my god it was worth it. What came after I cannot describe. A euphoric high, not unlike cocaine, but with strong hallucinations of times past - I saw dead relatives during my trip. It was almost magical.

The onset of jenkem is probably 10 seconds after inhalation, with the most severe hallucinations happening probably 20 minutes into the trip. Beware that if you try this wonderful substance that you're going to be "out of it" for several hours after inhaling, and really it will take several days for you to fully recover. One of the downsides of jenkem is that you constantly have that taste of sewage in your breathing for several days after the fact.

After subsequent trips, there were a few characteristics we felt made for better trips with Jenkem. First off, if you visited the sewage treatment plant at around mid-day on a sunny day we found we got the best highs. Secondly, make sure you have someone nearby who is not high on the substance (believe me, once you've been introduced to it, you don't want to not be high on it... so find someone who isn't big into drugs to do this).

An Erowid Experience

This bitch needs to switch to Jenkem.

Under the advice of several friends, I decided to give jenkem a try. I went down to the Lusaka sewage pond and filled my two liter coke bottle half full. Walking back to my hut I couldn't help but feel a little anxiety, but what did I have to lose right? Upon arrival I sit down and begin to flood my lungs with the sickly sweet aroma as my seven brothers looked on. In seconds my mind was filled with thoughts previously unfathomable. In an instant I saw what needed to be done to alleviate the poverty of my country and people. With the knowledge of kings laid out before me, I now know what I must do. Jenkem has brought me the enlightenment of my ancestors, and for this I am grateful.

There probably is a way to alleviate the poverty of your country, but huffing shit is not it.

The "Butt-Hash Res Hit"

According to many reliable sources including Fox News, many Jenkem addicts are finding themselves in short supply of this exotic drug. As a result, users remove all clothing and assume the "69" sex position. The drug addicts take turns flatulating on each other and inhaling the methane gas. Many Jenkem addicts report this produces a more foul smelling vapor than Jenkem similar to a "resin hit" among cannabis smokers. For this reason, the act of inhaling the digestive gases is commonly referred to as a "Butt-Hash res hit."

Furthermore, there is little to no scientific evidence to suggest huffing farts is any more harmful than huffing shit. So, huff away.

Jenkem For teh lulz

Juggalette420 Jenkem Motivational Poster.JPG


More lulz brought to you by copypasta, Jenkem users mother seeks help from a Christian AA forum.

Jenkem in the Canadian education system

Kim Sampson <[email protected]> 

 Moar options
  8:40 am (2 hours ago)
Hello:  Concerned student

I am glad that you emailed me on this topic, it has been added to our
agenda for the next school council meeting.  Jenkem has been added to
the school's police watch list, and we will investigate any reports
seriously.

Also, we have given notice to students as to the harmful effects of
this drug.  Your support is very appreciated.

If you would like to speak to me in person about this matter, I am always available at the school.

Kim Sampson,
Principal
Moira Secondary School''

Jenkem in the United States


From:  	Mr. Joe Brasfield ([email protected])
Thank you for the information.  We are checking on this and looking into how to plan.  

Please know that I always want to know what our students are doing so we can help as much as 

possible.
Enter to Achieve
Leave Ready to Succeed
 
Joe Brasfield
WCHS Principal

Jenkem on Yahoo Answers

What are the Negative Effects of Huffing Jenkem?
i am going to try it next saturday and i want to know what 
im getting in to and what i have to watch out for and also 
what could happen to me...im just trying to do it safely.

YouTube Responds - Hilarity Ensues

Youtube-favicon.png Perez Hilton warns of Jenkem Danger

Youtube-favicon.png Youtube Celeb Kev Jumba warns about Jenkem after being trolled into in by an EDiot

Youtube-favicon.png Youtube Nobody talks about jenkem

See Also

External Links

Jenkem.com

Jenkem on Wiki

Jenkemyahoo.jpg

Reports on jenkem IRL

Jenkem the meme

How-to guide

Cops find it on the net, think Profit!!1?!!

OMFG, the press loves a new drug!

Support and discussion


Holyshittrippinballsawesome1.gif

Jenkem

is part of a series on

Drugs

Holyshittrippinballsawesome.gif
List of Drugs

AmphetaminesAqua DotsBath SaltsBenzosBuprenorphineCocaineDextromethorphanDMTDramamineEcstasyInhalants See Also: AboriginesKetamineLSALSDMescalineMeow MeowOpioidsPCPResearch ChemicalsSalviaShroomsWeed

Internets Drug Phenomena

420chanBananadineBenny LavaCaffeineDaturaErowidGrass CityIcingJenkemKrokodilKrystle ColeLatawnyaNutmegSilk RoadStraight EdgeSmoke Weed Everyday

Related Trips

AbsintheAlcoholBaby BongDealerMK ULTRAPrunoToad lickingTobacco


Jenkem is part of a series of topics related to Black People
Nigra.gif Places

AfricaAfro-chanAtlantaDead Nigger StorageE.S. Nigger Brown StandEgyptGambia ♠ The GhettoHabbo HotelKenyaLiberiaMediatakeoutMozambiqueNawlinsPrisonRepublic of Sierra LeoneSomaliaSouth AfricaSudanTanzaniaWashington, DCZimbabwe

Personas

AboriginalBlackineseBoko HaramChavCripsGothNativeNiggerNegressNigraOFWGKTAWiggerYounger Woolwich Boyz

People

Abner LouimaAdria RichardsAfro NinjaAfroduckAinsley HarriottAlison FloydAl SharptonAmanda KijeraAntoine DodsonBags of MoneyBANGSBarry BondsBernie MacBill ClintonBarack Hussein ObamaBLACKbusterCriticBLACK_MANBomani ArmahBrandon PhillipsBrenda WilliamsC-NOTECandyJunkieCarltonCasey BrezikCharlie Check'mCharles RamseyChris DornerCondoleezza RiceCRoadwarriorCulexorDangermanDave ChappelleDcigsDramasetterDr. Laura SchlessniggerFresh PrinceFuture the rapperGary ColemanHappy NegroHerman CainIsaac HayesJames WatsonJesse JacksonJkidJoseph KonyKerney ThomasKobe BryantLatarian MiltonLil BLoud NigraM0M0koMadThad0890MajelaZeZeDiamondMalcolm XMark EssexMartin Luther King, Jr.Marvin Morvan and Alex TeniolaMary Alice AltorferMaurice ClemmonsMichael JacksonMichael VickMike TysonMintahMiss LandmineMr PregnantMr. TMuteba KidiabaMychal BellNawlinWikiNicki MinajNigger PigOFWGKTAOG LocOJ SimpsonOld Spice GuyOprah WinfreyP DiddyPurple AkiQueen KongReverend XRobert Butler Jr.Rocky LockridgeRon MexicoRucasRudy EugeneSenator Barack Hussein ObamaSheneequaSoulja BoyStarlaglamSteve Hodder-WattSweet BrownRick RossTacgnolTarisai VusheTay ZondayTedius ZanarukandoThe Booty WarriorThe CrackheadThe TrashmanTiger WoodsTookie WilliamsTony48219Tony EvereadyTrayvon MartinTyra BanksUnMaskingTheTruthValisHDWrong Location Nigger

Parlance

Are You Serious?BECAUSE MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUDBix NoodBOOYA!Dat AssEbonicsENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK ITFirst World ProblemsFlea Market MontgomeryFuck The PoliceGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleHack is Wack!Happy NegroI Go Chop Your DollarImma Let You Finish IM PRESSIN CHARGESNiggers tongue my anusNot racistRead a BookScrub Me Mama With A Boogie BeatSittin On Tha ToiletSmell yo dickThanks ObamaThe BoondocksThese CuffsWHOO

Pastimes

365Black.com419 Nigerian Email ScamsBasketballBlackbirdBooty ShakingChikinsChimpoutConspiracy theoriesDogo Nahawa MassacreDolemiteFUBUJenkemKFC Double DownKool-AidLinux for NiggersNigga Know TechnologyPool's ClosedRacismRapRapeRiotsSoulja Boy Tellem ChatSwagThe Black SentinelThe Great Black Dick Hoax (see also Niggerdick and Niggercock)TwitterUbuntuVoodooVuvuzelaWatermelonzWorldstar Hiphop

Past

BLACK FACE contempoLynchingNO NIGGERSSlavery (see also Nigger Manual)

Present

AIDSAll The Niggers Are DeadBlack People Love Us!Chocolate RainComputer Science IIICulexorGay Nigger Association of AmericaJena SixP.A. PalaceThere are no niggers on the InternetUnemployment ♠ and Welfare

Enemies

A. Wyatt MannAznCopsEbola virusEmploymentEpic Beard ManIlluminatiKu Klux KlanJames WatsonJohnny RebelJustine SaccoKramerRacismSpicsWhite people


Featured article June 15, 2007
Preceded by
Ray Jones
Jenkem Succeeded by
Madeleine McCann
Featured article November 10, 2007
Preceded by
Seppo Lehto
Jenkem Succeeded by
School Shooting



Jenkem is part of a series on Psychology
Antisocial personality disorder Hannibal Lector.jpg Mental illness & Disorders

AgoraphobiaPro-AnaAntisocial personality disorderAudiophiliaAnthropophobiaADDADHDAutismBipolarBody dysmorphic disorderBorderline personality disorderCarmen Electra complexDepressionDyslexiaEating disorderFauxlimiaFeminismFursonaGender dysphoriaHistrionic Personality DisorderHeterophiliaHomophiliaInconsistent personality disorderInsanityLove ShyMultiple personality disorderNapoleon ComplexNarcissistic personality disorderNeurotypicalOCDObsessive-compulsive disorderParanoiaParanoid personality disorderParaphiliaPeter Pan SyndromePost-Traumatic Stress DisorderPsychopathyRetardsSchizophreniaSelf-diagnosed & Self-diagnosisSpecial Snowflake SyndromeVictim complex

E-Psychosis:

Chronic Troll SyndromeE-PsychiatristTrigger WarningLulz-BlindnessInternet disease & Internet Disease ChartInternet Fuckwad TheoryInternet troll personality disorder

Experiments:

ask.fmMilgram ExperimentThe Hivemind CorollaryScientologyStanford Prison Experiment

See also:

Autism CasesBiologyChemistrySciencePsychiatristyThe Law of Conformity

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