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Fist of the North Star

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IMMA CHARGIN MAH FISTS
Kablammo!

Whenever people think about martial arts in animu the first thing that will come to mind is Dragonball Z; many wapanese see this as the beginning of all fighting animu and their respective cliches....but this is not so. Long before Nappa asked Vegeta about Goku's power level or when nigra Cell charged his lazer, or when everyone's power aura ripped up the earth for 10 episodes, in the 1980's there was Fist(ing) Of The North Star (aka: Hokuto No Ken), one of the most violent animu of all time.

This laid the foundation for various animu clichés such as gigantic roid raged meat men, power auras, guys fighting while everyone else stands around being useless talking about their techniques, and memes that we now know today on /b/. To get an idea , imagine the movie The Road Warrior. Replace Australia with Post-9/11 New York in the year 199X, replace Mel Gibson with a seven foot tall Bruce Lee, and give him a martial art that makes people's heads explode.

Contents

Exploding heads

The main character's name is Kenshiro, who possesses the legendary "Hokuto Shin Ken" fighting style. By punching or poking the correct areas, Kenshiro can make opponents' heads (or any other body part he so chooses) explode by internal pressure, often with results that can only produce lulz. But his signature move which spawned imitations that go on to this day is the "Hokuto Hyakuretsu-Ken" technique which is moonspeak for AAAAAA ATATATATATATATATATATA!!! Basically this attack is Kenshiro screaming like a little girl and punching his opponent in a fury of 1,000 fists:


ATATATATATATATATATATA
ATATATATATATATATATATA v2.0


This attack seems to have the same effect on enemies as hitting them just once (causing their head to explode) but just makes it better due to the delay of the head-explosion enabling Kenshiro to deliver his famous line: "You are already dead."

Other notable attacks in Kenshiro's arsenal include:

  • Hokuto Zankai Ken: He makes you fucking explode.
  • Hokuto Ujou Mosho Ha: He makes you fucking explode peacefully.
  • Ganzan Ryozan Ha: He makes you fucking explode.
  • Goshi Retsu Dan: He makes your hands fucking explode.
  • Ten Ha Kasatsu: He makes you fucking explode, but with lasers.
  • Muso Tensei: He goes through you like a ghost, then makes you fucking explode.

Best Show Ever?

To summarize, this show is about Ken wandering around with his preteen sidekicks, killing gigantic and fugly bandits with mohawks in the most gruesome ways possible. Sometimes he runs into someone he knew from before he started his little journey, and proceeds to kick their ass. For these reasons, some argue that FOTNS is the greatest TV show ever. Judge for yourself:

JESUS CHRIST THAT IS AWESOME!

Good Characters That Are Not Kenshiro

Taking care of business.
It's quite awesome indeed!

Lynn: The resident loli of the group, who has some weird ability to sense people's hearts. She, along with Bart (who will be discussed below), follow Ken around so there can be someone to talk about his techniques. Being a sexually confused loli, she develops a huge crush on Ken, wants it up her tiny ass from him. Of course, this is also due to the fact that by simply pressing a finger into her neck, Ken made Lynn forget the tragic death of her parents.

Bart: A pink-haired, loud-mouthed little boy who acts as a sort of brother to Lynn. No one cares about him.

Rei: Not to be confused with TEH REI, Rei is a pretty boy martial artist who uses Nanto Suicho Ken, a style that lets him wave his arms in FABULOUS ways while yowling like a dying cat, and as a result, slices his enemies to bits. He becomes friends with Ken after Ken helps him save his sister.

Toki: Aka Kung Fu Jesus, is Kenshiro's adoptive brother. Toki was supposed to become the successor, but he gave up his title because he tried to save Kenshiro from the fallout of nukes being dropped everywhere, and ended up getting radiation poisoning. He uses techniques that are "merciful" which just causes enemies to feel good and smile like idiots before they explode. In spite of his ability to kick as much ass as Kenshiro, he dies due to the aforementioned radiation poisoning, but not before getting his ass handed to him by Raoh (more on this guy later).

Mamiya: While Rei was along, so was this cumdumpster. Other than fighting with yo-yos and having nice tits, there's nothing really special about her. Rei attempts to prove that he's not gay by stripping her, but fails by choosing to tell her she's a woman over the option of rape.

Yuria: Kenshiro's girlfriend, though pretty much everyone on Earth wants to fuck her. She gets stolen away by Shin (to be discussed later), only to attempt to become an hero after being unable to handle the deaths of countless innocents that Shin caused for the lulz. She only reunites with Ken at the very end of the first series (yes, there are two, but the second one sucks major ass), and she ends up dying of radiation sickness anyway.

Shuu: A blind practitioner of Nanto Sei Ken. Unlike most Nanto users, he is actually quite manly, and proves so by carrying a block of stone that probably weighed at least 100 tons on his shoulders up the stairs of a huge pyramid, and makes it to the top despite having enough blood spurting out of him to start a bar for vampires, all for the sake of a bunch of little kids. But that makes him a huge moralfag too.

Evil Characters That You Might Actually Care About

Nigga's facial expression after pressing a power point resembles a central character of a certain meme

Heart: The most badass fatass ever seen, and one of Shin's minions. After he has his men kill numerous escaping slaves, Kenshiro gets filled with RAGE and kills all of Heart's men, then attacks him. At first, Ken's attacks are ineffective due to Heart being so fat, but after a creative use of ATATATATATATATATA, Ken makes Heart explode.

Shin: Ken's blonde half-brother and practitioner of Nanto Sei Ken, the opposing style to Hokuto Shin Ken. Jealous that Ken won the right to bang Yuria, he beat the shit out of him, then stabs seven holes in his chest, giving Kenshiro his signature seven scars. After that, he steals Yuria away. Kenshiro ultimately comes back and beats the shit of him. But before he can die, Shin an heroes to avoid the humiliation resulting from dying via Ken's techniques.

Jagi: Some ugly guy who was trained alongside Kenshiro in Hokuto Shin Ken. Butthurt that his less-ugly "brother" was chosen and not him (despite the fact that he couldn't compare to Kenshiro's skills) he tries to kill him. Kenshiro kicks Jagi's sorry ass, but he barely manages to keep his head from exploding, and Ken, being the moralfag he is, spares him. However, the fight makes Jagi so ugly that he has to wear some metal stuff on his head (and beneath a helmet) to keep him from mindraping everyone he looks at. Much later, Kenshiro finishes the job, causing his head to spurt out a crapload of blood.

Juda: Another Nanto Sei Ken practitioner. Despite surrounding himself with (and possibly raping) a fuckton of women, he is the most outrageously gay villain in the series, going so far as to put lipstick and eyeshadow on, and displays a strong urge to take it in the ass from Rei, despite outwardly showing a virulent RAGE over how much prettier Rei's technique is. He and Rei eventually fight, and predictably, Rei wins after appearing to be defeated.

Souther: Another blonde asshole with a major case of unwarranted self-importance and the urge to rule fucking everything. He is a practitioner of Nanto Ho'oh Ken, some crazy martial art that basically makes him god-like. He has partial immunity to Hokuto Shin Ken, due to the fact that his set of pressure points is on backwards, and his heart is on his right side. Because he thinks he's so awesome, he declares himself "Holy Emperor" and uses child labor to build an Xbox-hueg pyramid to memorialize his dead teacher. He fights Kenshiro twice, ripping him a new asshole the first time around, and losing the second. His death has two different versions: in the original 80's anime, he stumbles over his dead master and asks to "feel his love one more time"; in a modern remake of the series, Souther dies in a more hardcore fashion by stabbing himself with his own hand, proclaiming that he won't die by Hokuto Shin Ken.

Raoh: Kenshiro's other adoptive brother and Toki's older biological brother, Raoh is a huge, overly-muscled bastard who also knows Hokuto Shin Ken, though he's so huge he can overwhelm his foes through sheer muscle. Like Souther, he wants to rule the world, and has an army of countless men to help him. He rides a horse the size of a tank named Koku-Oh, and often tramples people for the lulz. He kills numerous good guys no one cares about, but ultimately gets his ass handed to him by Kenshiro, but an-heroes by simply raising his fist in the air and screaming really loud. This results in a division by zero that makes everyone live happily ever after or something. In Japan, Raoh has a huge fan base, so much that he has his own spinoff anime, and even had an IRL funeral.

Trolling Fans

Kenshiro doctor.jpeg
  • Say that Naruto, Dragonball Z, One Piece, and Bleach are better. Fans of FotNS loathe these animes even more than a regular person does, and will explode into a fit of nerd rage at any positive mention of them.
  • Say that the second half of the series was far better. Most fans show a virulent hatred for any of the episodes after the death of Raoh.
  • Call Kenshiro a moralist hypocrite.
  • Predict that Fist of the North Star: Ken's Rage is going to suck.
  • Say that Kenshiro/Raoh is NOT the essence of all that is man.
  • Tell them that manly tears are not manly.
  • Comment on how Kenshiro is flat and boring as a character.
  • Find or make porn of it.

Imitations and memes

If you look closely, you can see three FOUR "fap" in this picture. What's he really doing?

Indeed "Hokuto Hyakuretsu-Ken" is the very attack that has been seen repeated in Japanese popular culture for over 2 decades. One of the most well-known variations is Jojo's Bizzare Adventure, where Jojo's stand "Star Platinum" goes: ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA and Dio Brando's stand "The World" who's attack is MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA

Rating

  • Action: 6 - Unlike Dragon Ball Z, characters don't spend ten episodes powering up, so there's plenty of actual fighting.
  • Guro: 9001 - Rarely an episode goes by without a shit-ton of blood and gore been spewed about.
  • Lulz: 6 - In spite of his moralfag tendencies, Ken (at least in earlier episodes) had a knack for making his enemies die in ironic fashion.
  • Gayness: 11 - Rei and Juda carry this one all by itself.
  • Mecha: 0 - What giant robots?
  • Manly Tears: 11 - This show practically invented them.

See Also:

External Links


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