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Finger Box

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Finger Box


Is a wonderfully crafted "Box of Pleasure" that is usually made from wood or sometimes Aluminum 4chan /b/. In the opening post of a Finger Box thread, a seasoned internets expert phrases a seemingly genuine query regarding said finger box, in a manner that suggests that everyone will know what the OP is referring to. The fiendishly clever trap is now set for some hapless victim to come along and spring it by inquiring what a finger box actually is - thus outing themselves as a newfag. Much hilarity is then shared by everyone who is in on the 'joke'. What we learn from an anthropological standpoint from this embarrassingly unfunny and oft-repeated forced-meme, is that:

OF COURSE THIS IS ALL ONE BIG JOKE. DON'T TAKE THIS SHIT SERIOUSLY.

  1. The denizens of /b/ are easily amused by their own antics.
  2. They are also apparently unaware that everyone on /b/ is a fucking newfag
  3. Rising unemployment is having an unforeseen effect on the internets.
yes, wtf is it?
 
 
Has anyone tried the stainless steel finger boxes? I like them but I'm not sure if they're worth the extra money.
 

 

Unspecific and obvious troll is unspecific and obvious

 
 
Y'know, I'm not sure about these new e-fingerboxes. Sure, they're pretty, but a 250-year-old teak fingerbox made in England, Germany or Japan will do the job just as well, and has got tons of potential for upgrading. I've got a collection of all sorts, and I must say that one of my favourites is a 170-year-old scrimshandered palm fingerbox from Rehoku which feaures part of a dendroglyph and was crafted by British sailors stuck on the island from HMS Prophetess. It's a gorgeous bit of work and is so beautiful. The overall feel is very good inside too, as it was lined with lambskin and felt. The mechanism is in tip-top condition because even though it's a wooden Heidelburg design the actual wood used is, like the case, palm and thus can be kept beautifully clean and functional with palm oil, which also brings out a lovely dark finish. It's locked with an ivory key (cut from whalebone) engraved with the intials A.E. and in a niche inside the lid is a Gold Sovreign, which I only found when examining the fingerbox just after I bought it - I was looking at the hinge and I noticed a tiny button, and click! Out it came. It's a wonderful piece of work, I had it insured for £17,000 but I think it would make several times that at auction... implying that I'd ever sell such a wonderful object, of course.
 

 

God Mode Troll

Contents

Anonymous seeks the ED seal of approval

File:Fingerbox3.jpg
 
 
This is the article. The meme is still a pile of shit, regardless.
 

 

ED

 
 
How whiny and bitching they may be, the denizens of ED are still too retarded to install a greasemonkey script.
 

 

Some Random Nigger

No. This is Lemarchand's box.

Sample Post

Nope. Still not it.

What is a finger box?

A finger box, though ostensibly a relatively simple device, is in fact a staggeringly complex machine comprised of several thousand finely crafted components. These are most often distributed in sets of nine, but the poor, the disenfranchised and the mentally handicapped have all been observed amusing themselves for hours at a time with just a single unit. Finger boxing (also referred to colloquially as 'fingering' and/or 'boxing') is a rapidly growing trend among teens aged 13-18. The first instance of the device, though in a cruder and less intricate form, was invented by Sir Eustace Henry Trollington more than 130 years ago in Dunbartonshire, Scotland.

A Finger box basically creates a variety of sensations by stimulating the nerves of the finger tip, though the fun was short-lived when a group vicious saboteurs started contaminating the devices with old razor-blades, broken glass and ebolavirus. Panic ensued as a result of the dismemberments, lock-jaw and in some cases, slow and inexorable deaths. This led to the inevitable banning of the devices by the UK parliament in 1919, with the rest of the developed world quickly following suit.

Although still illegal, the finger box black-market saw a boom in sales during the 1980’s and was redeveloped into its current electrical module in the mid 1990’s buy an unnamed Chinese worker. The device works on the same principles as electrical prosthetic limbs, an electrical impulse is shot up the nervous system that will make the hand think that it is feeling something; anything can be simulated such as stroking a cat or shaking a hand.

The finger box costs around $50 per box and demand outstrips supply by ten to one, with some waiting times rumoured to be up to four years. Reportedly, some fingerboxes have been sold for over $5000.

Trolling with Finger boxes

Here's one
  1. Go to google and find a picture of a finger box.
  2. Start a finger box thread.
  3. Samefag and act like other anons that love finger boxes
  4. Never say what it does but say it's fucking great.
  5. Talk about how it's so much better than your last finger box
  6. Basically be fucking annoying as this list.
  7. ???????
  8. Profit

Tutorial Video

Ha! Ha! You've been trolled.
Finger box goes digital.
Apparently it's easy to confuse Finger Box with something else.

You'll be fingerbanging in no time.

See Also



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Finger Box is part of a series on

Memes

Visit the Memes Portal for complete coverage.

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Finger Box is part of a series on

Chans

Visit the Chans Portal for complete coverage.

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