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Fellatio

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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Might need a few moar mouths for this one.
 
 
I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.
 

 

—J. Edgar Hoover

The opposite of anal sex. Fellatio is a Latin word, which means "the act of sucking cock". Your Mom does this really well, but your dad needs more practice.

It's also A character in William Shakespeare's The Tempest. Not to be confused with Bond villain henchman, Oddjob (unless that was one of those "odd jobs" he was named after).

Texas Republicans have introduced a law to outlaw gay sex and sodomy. Problem is, sodomy includes fellatio and therefore all blowjobs would be illegal in Texas which ironically would make Texas the gayest state in the Union.

Be very careful when considering to offer fellatio, as you are going down a one way path. Think long and hard on what this whoring expert has to say of the matter:

 
 
Once a dick has been sucked, it cannot be un-sucked. The person having sucked said dick will forever be left with the stigma of having a dick in, and around, their mouth. Furthermore, common knowledge of this dick sucking incident will result in future ridicule and perhaps complete alienation from ones social community. Due to this permanent nature of dick sucking, the decision to suck and/or lick a dick must not be taken lightly.
 

 

It's true

Contents

Technique

Explanation on how to get head--written by the expert!

  1. Get her really drunk
  2. ????
  3. Get her to suck your dick!

The Variation, popular with self injury folk:

  1. While she is sucking, tell her that you will rape her.
  2. She will at this point bite your penis off.
  3. Awesome!.

Gay head

Gay head is different because you do not have to get any girls drunk. All gay men love giving head so you don't have to even worry if you're ugly or have a small hairy cock. Gay men will suck on any cock at any time. This is because if you are gay you can either suck cock or take it up the ass, so gay men don't have many options to choose from.

Autofellatio

What you tried every day as a kid. Autofellatio is hard to describe, but How to Suck Your Own Dick gives a good guide. Also TOW has a nice image of it, proving that Jimbo Wales is a sick fuck.

Slang

Getting a blowjob is also known as "Cash"

Fellatio is the medical term--what are kids using on the street?

Benefits for Women

Besides being a quicker way to that big promotion, a blowjob has also been shown in various studies to be a more effective way for fat chicks to get laid. Many of these studies were done during the Clinton Administration. For anorexic girls, semen consumption provides assorted proteins and lastly, a forced blowjob makes any women learn her place.

Gallery

About missing Pics

Videos


Yes. You just watched that.

Moar Blowjorbs!

See Also

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Fellatio is part of a series on

Sex

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