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Ex-Gay

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And we both know where it was 5 minutes ago.
Pastortoldme.jpg
Actually... that might not be so bad.
She's not happy either.

The "Ex-Gay" movement is the attempt by hardcore born-agains to pretend that they are no longer homosexuals. It is distinct from "Not Gay", in that the ex-gays actually acknowledge that they have been homosexuals. After years or even decades of promiscuous cum-guzzling, bukkake, fisting, felching, rimming, orgies, gerbiling, cock-worship, sound docking, listening to Joy Division and numerous other bizarre sexual escapades, they read lots of Christian-focused books by other ex-gays, and attend endless support groups, in a futile effort to be normal "straight" men who can then get married to normal women. Some of the support groups are in real life, but many are online, which is simultaneously less sexy and more sexy. Many of them even attend a sort of "gay rehab", special re-education centers where they stay for several weeks or months of intensive de-gayification.

Contents

Straight Life

Unsurprisingly, most of the ex-homos find it difficult to find a woman to marry. Most Christian women (who are their target prospects, since they worship Jesus too) would not find it attractive for their husband to have been an enthusiastic participant in "the gay lifestyle", with all the red-hot flaming faggotry and penis porn that it entails. Some men, of course, lie about their past to prospective wives, and thus find their "mates", but these marriages are sexually frustrating and end pretty quickly. Others have "marriages of convenience" with ex-lesbians, but these relationships rarely work out. The vast majority return to their sodomy and cock-sucking after a couple of years at most.

Video

Ex-Gay & ex-Lesbo happily married (to each other)

Ex-gay yourself in a few easy steps!

Stop bothering Jesus, you bitch!

Troll Fodder

 
 
Just recently my son Bobby came out to me. I had been worried for awhile. His teachers said most of his grades were slipping and he seemed depressed and withdrawn. Bobby said he'd been hiding it for awhile because he was afraid I would reject him. I sat him down and told him that I loved him and that God loved him, but that his salvation was in danger if he did not resist his unnatural temptations. I told him how being gay would mean he would live a shorter life, and that if he couldn't change his orientation he could be celibate like most the ex-gays are. He started crying saying something along the lines of "I knew you wouldn't understand! You're just like everyone else!" before running to his room and slamming the door. What did I do wrong? I don't want to lose my son, but I fear I already have. I talked it over with his therapist, who had the ludicrous idea that homosexuality was unchangeable and that trying to repress could lead to lots of psychological damage (I've dropped him and will try to be finding another therapist with more moral beliefs). I wouldn't be surprised if he's the one who's feeding my son all the homosexual propaganda about how its "OK" to be gay. That, or how homosexuality has engulfed the media, making it seem 'cool' and 'hip' and how they were just another oppressed minority. You didn't have to worry about seeing two men making out on tv at my age! I don't want to sound like a fanatic, but I'm worried what other effects will come out of this increasingly secular, immoral society obsessed with filth. Am I too late? Or is it possible to save my son?
 

 

source!
(Note: the boy eventually took his own life. Irrefutable proof that God hates Fags)

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See also


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Ex-Gay is part of a series on

Homosexual Deviants

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Ex-Gay is part of a series on
Gay Republicans
Featured article August 24, 2008
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