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E-penis

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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This is what you do when you announce it.
How to get a big e-penis.
I just got out of the ocean tho. Challenge me @ http://www.epenis.nl

An E-penis or E-pen0r is the virtual power someone has through control over others through computers as long as that control does not extend to real life, like doing hacking that causes you to gain real money. Simply put, E-penis is a measure of how much power you have on the internets. E-penis can be from power from controlling a BBS, chat room, ISP, live journal, message board, website, or wiki. It can come from being powerful in a game (whether from wasting their life away to gain skill or by cheating). It can also be from the old-fashioned past-time of mailbombing; maybe even Denial of Service attacks over IRC (large scale DoS get you sent to prison). Pretty much, the larger your E-penis is, the less you're really worth in real life.

E-penis has and always will be a source of drama. The examples are too numerous to list.

Psychology

The E-penis is based off E-psychiatrist Freud's theory of penis envy. Freudian states that women on the internets lack the powerful, strong, genitalia of a man and therefore make it up by whoring themselves. Conversely, 13 year old boys play Starcraft and mod on shitty forums. However, traps have been shown to have bigger E-Penes than men and women.

Examples

A chart measuring the e-cocks of several web celebrities
  • Newgrounds: Newgrounds is a site notorious for its e-penis sucking. Usually n00bs like/have to suck the mods/regulars e-penis.
  • FanFiction.Net: Is a site that thrives on e-penis suckings. It's one giant circle jerk of telling people how awesome someone's story is, regardless of how terrible it is. Most fan art web sites/forums fall into this category as well. (See below.)
  • LiveJournal: If you've read one of the numerous internet blogs on how to draw animefurfag eyes, you can receive E-penis massages here.
  • GameFAQs: Apparently, no matter how noobish you are everywhere else, they'll give your e-penis a handjob as long as you've been there for a while (and make shitty attempts at humor).
  • DeviantArt: l2trace
  • reddit: A place to gain e-points for telling a popular opinion. basically a big circlejerk of confirmation bias.
  • Last.FM: Announce to the world that you listen to music.
A good sign of fail at internets.

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^^lulz HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS
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