From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A douchebag is a feminine hygiene product. However, it eventually became an insult, because 13-year-old boys (who made it an insult) are fucking stupid. If you are fucking stupid, and were looking for the definition of "douchebag" that applies to the insulting version of the word, then read on!The douchebag is a common subspecies of the white American male jerk— a rude person who has an over-inflated sense of self worth, compounded by a low level of intelligence. Douchebags behave ridiculously in front of others, with no sense of how moronic they appear. They can be seen in almost any setting, although they do seem to prefer malls, college campuses, and country clubs.
Identifying the Douchebag
The common American douche is easily identified as a result of their distinctive manner of dress. There are slight variations, but common traits share among them are as follows.
- Tom Brady
- Gelled hair
- Aviator Shades (usually worn when not needed, e.g., indoors)
- Plaid shorts
- The Two Douches
- Pastel polo shirts with popped collars, often wearing several at the same time
- Designer T-shirts (especially Ed Hardy)
- Brand new worn-out jeans, worn with overpriced flipflops
- Bluetooth Headsets
- Those flattened link chains
- Possess a red car
- Button up collared shirt, worn open so the muscle shirt beneath is visible.
- "Vintage" T-shirts of bands they've never listened to and know nothing about.
- Quote Shitty Movie lines (usually from films involving Adam Sandler)
- Have an iPhone
- The quintessential douche accessory beyond questionable doubt is the Douche Hat.
- Drives a Hummer or some other loud gas-guzzling SUV type thing.
—An offended douche
Qualities of a Douchebag
There are many ways for someone to be classified as a douchebag, but the main qualities of a douchebag are: stubbornness, complains excessively, asinine goals in life , extravagant, and knows he/she is right and you are wrong. They often have a short temper, but they usually are pussies and run to solitude.
Douchebags are commonly sighted attaching to their mangier, odorous silent partners, the ones who squeeze right into infected ground zero, THE DOUCHENOZZLES. ie. Giuliani
Classes of Douchebags
There are three classes of douchebags:
- The Plain Douchebag: Loud, Stupid, and Famous.
- The Educated Douchebag: While they have done their homework on whatever it is they are doing, what they are doing is spectacularly dumb; whether it be their main goal, or their motives, its extremely retarded.
- The Nice Douchebag: While they can seem like the nicest person alive, they are a douche through and through. An example is John Hardy, who gives jobs and food to hundreds of people in Bali on his farm. However, he lives extravagantly . . . believing that every time he looks at the mountains from his house, it lets him realize how amazing he is.
- The Goth Douchebag: Exactly what it sounds like. They are the rarest kind of douchebags. They wear platform boots, listen to Voltaire, and always get the hottest dead bitches. Examples: Gothzilla, TheeObsidianReaper, Jerry from Doomsday Refreshment Committee, Don Henrie
here is a picture of a typical douchebag http://newmedia2.funnyjunk.com/pictures/birth_control.jpg "We’re living in one of the most beautiful places on the planet…we don’t need ornamentation." – John Hardy
- Fred Phelps.
- Thomas Edison.
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Types of Douchebags
Douche-bags on the internet
The Two Douches