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Dora the Explorer

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Typical Dora the Explorer toy.
 
 
LETS GO ON AN ADVENTURE!!!
 

 

—Dora

Dora the Explorer (moar liek Whora the Explorer, amirite?) is a cartoon created by, and for, the pedophiles and retards staffing Viacom as of last Thursday. In their attempts to teach Spanish to children they have provided a great fanservice to pedophiles. The show has become worshiped by autistics, kindergardeners, 5 year old girls, potheads, pedophiles, and the children of illegals.

Contents

The Show

Typical episode

The plot repeats every fucking episode, involving Dora traveling to a hidey hole, finding lost treasures or friends and asking the audience where some very obvious locations are hidden on the screen. In some point of the episode, a burglar known only as black person tries to steal their items but ends up getting pwnt by Dora and Boots. At the end of EVERY episode, Dora and friends end up singing the annoying We Did It song.

Characters

The characters of the show include:

  • Dora- An 9 year old Mexican bitch who jumped the fence into America. She lives on a stolen Social Security number and travels with her monkey friend, Boots. She is the T&A in this series and returns home by blowing a nice guy willing to give a nice girl like her a ride. She is a dyke and she likes to fuck Boots in the ass every Cinco de Mayo.
  • Boots- Dora's monkey fuck friend. Smuggled into America by Dora's cousin Diego, a Mexican drug trafficker and smuggler. He hides drugs in his boots.
  • Swiper the Fox- An anthropomorphic fox who stalks Dora and Boots. He tries but always fails at stealing their items. This can be proven because he's never actually stolen an item, just picked it up and thrown it 20 feet. This, of course is presuming he actually managed to get his hands on whatever piece of shit item caught his fancy, as he can be easily detered from "swiping" by Dora and Boots telling him not to three times. It should be noted that the only thing of value that he ever "swiped" was Dora's virginity. Studies have shown that Swiper enjoys robbing people due to his black person, hidden in his foxy fursuit. This explains why he has urges for mugging people, and why he lives in a hole in the ground.
  • The Grumpy Old Troll- border patrol agent who likes to troll Dora and her friends by not letting them cross his bridge until they solve his riddle. He sucks at his job because he has never stopped Dora from crossing the border. It's unknown if he actually owns the bridges he hops out from under or if they are assigned posts given to him by the U.S. government. He always sings a song to Dora and Boots when they encounter him, probably his way of reading them their Miranda Rights SPICS DONT GET MIRANDA RIGHTS DUMBASS!
  • The Map- Dora's autism-addled, overly hyperactive equivalent to a Mexican GPS. It is obvious to those who dare watch the show for longer than 5 minutes that this twitchy, fidgety "companion" of Dora most likely never sees the light of day save for the scant few moments when he's called upon to do his dark mistress's bidding, during which he spasmodically writhes around shouting directions and information in a happy, upbeat manner....kinda like some vile combination of Billy Mays and a semi-postal customer service representative.....as he tries deperately to obtain his freedom before beging sealed once more in his sweaty & most likely urine soaked prison.
  • And more characters (like backpack) who no one cares about.

Controversy

Dora after being stopped by border patrol agents in Arizona.

Many argue that Dora may have been an illegal immigrant crossing into America (she is), that the show has hidden subliminal messages about illegal immigration (it does), and in some cases, some much bawwing and whining about how Dora is a stereotype of a Mexican girl (she is).

 
 
Dora the Explorer is a children’s cartoon about a Mexican girl trying to get over the river with all of her friends to her grandmother’s house and they always have to get by the Grumpy Old Troll, who represents The Border Patrol.
 

 

— A person at Yahoo answers

 
 
This is just a taste of what PBS offered and has caused great offense to our American homes. The biggest trick they’ve played on us, however, is likely with a television show team-up they did with children’s channel Nickelodeon. They created a Mexican show called Dora the Explorer, to make kids think it was okay for America to have illegal Mexican immigrants sneaking around our country.
 

 

Cristwire.org

 
 
Dora the Explorer is a child’s television show that tries to influence kids to embrace illegal Mexican immigrants.
 

 

—Moar shit from Christwire.org

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Redesign

Dora as a 12 year old. That means moar delicious loli for pedophiles.

Since most young girls do not want to watch a show about a fat beaner, they remade Dora's current look. What came out was an older, and more attractive version of Dora. This was so they could keep onto their younger viewers as they grow older, and so pedos could have something better to splooge over. Many parents have BAWWWed over the new design and have made countless complaints.

 
 
I can see the wheels turning in the minds of the marketing "geniuses" at Nickelodeon: Older Dora equals more viewers. Somehow I don't see the logic. So the "new and improved" Dora is going to dump her monkey friend Boots and hook up with these proposed "Explorer Girls" and do what? Have sleepovers to discuss boys, make up and the latest fashion trends?
 

 

—Because every young girl has a monkey for a friend and goes all over the world.

 
 
I say leave well enough alone. Dora is making Nickelodeon a fortune just the way she is. Changing the target market and giving Dora human friends, who are more interested in what they will be wearing to help rescue Tico from Swiper or wondering whether climbing muddy mountain will ruin their hair or (gasp!) compromise the look of their freshly polished nails, will only encourage parents like me to look elsewhere for quality entertainment for their preschoolers.
 

 

—A very, very concerned parent.

IRL

Real life footage of Dora the Explorer in her natural habitat.

Previous Video  |  Next Video


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See Also

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