From Encyclopedia Dramatica
At first glance, deviantART appears to be an inspiring treasure-trove of wishful-thinking fanart and pseudo-professional "artwork." In reality, it is one of many gigantic culture-fucks of societal degeneration.
Deviantart, who doesn't even try to hide its homosexuality and porn is but yet another kingdom to all childhood memories raped and basically is just filled with Furries, Pedophiles, Perverts, Azns, Wapanese and of everything worse imaginable. Just like anything uncovered by the sane part of ED by a luzly fashion to its general audience and to the unjust who find their way into the Internet to spread their unnatural sick fetishes of any disturbing kind. Deviantart shows no higher morals with its content, than what you find of attention seeking porn for page views sake and bad, shortly written, unimaginative, out of character fanfiction. It is expected most of the time to find Rule 34, WWOEC, Furaffinity users constantly checking and updating their user page E-penis here and Steroidatizing it to grow larger from with all the other sick fucks in the world who share the common love of buttsex, faggotry and Anime. Constant exposure to this site is likely to have you become one.
While similar establishments like MTV destroy good music by motivating the public to become wiggers and prostatots, deviantART destroys the good art world by fulfilling its function of turning out furry drama whores and emo attention whores.
DeviantART's population also consists mainly of emotionally-unstable artists who aspire to move to Japan and become famous manga artists but instead they end up as Cosplay enthusiasts that earn a living off the Harajuku by exchanging odd jobs for food in the back alleys behind the clothing stores. If the art community as a whole had cancer, then deviantART would be the biggest malignant tumor of them all.
Even a more worse thing than DeviantART Everything about DeviantART is the worse.
Before the invention of the Internets, people were rumored to make art such as Unicorn Orgy, IRL. They used boulders, ripped-up fursuits, and semen. At present, all the craftsmen who aren't dead are pot-smoking hippies who can't use computers and forty-year-old women who create over-priced and poorly-made knitted stuffed animals that drain your PayPal if you're stupid enough to buy one, rendering this section unnecessary and a hindrance to the entire site.
By far the largest section of DA, probably because pencils are cheap, this is where users place their painstakingly-rendered anime/furry/inflation art tracings with blotchy graphite shading. Others attempt to exploit the versatility of MS Paint to project a political message of some sort. (If you click on the link, try not to shit yourself laughing, as that would be rude). It's also the category for drawings made by people who are too fuck-tarded to use computers and art programs.
Also, it is a well known fact that people who are too cheap to buy a tablet are probably also too cheap to buy a scanner. For this reason, most traditional "art" is uploaded in the form of a blurry, unfocused picture.
If you are unable to operate a pencil for any reason, this section is for you! Just fire up Photoshop, collage some random shit you found on Google Images and voilà! You're only HALF as lame as the Church of the Subgenius! http://irawalrus.deviantart.com/art/Brother-guess-what-you-get-182793134?q=&qo=
Remember, catering to fetishists insures a steady stream of pageviews, and the big kids favor quantity over quality. Playboy models need not be college or even college junior graduates, hence why waste pearls on anthromorphic, shrinking, inflating swine?
Thanks to the advent of ubiquitous digital image capturing, every 16 year old girl and their little brother thinks they're Ansel-Fucking-Adams. These people usually can't draw. To facilitate this movement, DA created the photography section. It was promptly populated by camwhores afflicted by Internet diseases. Remember, Lens flare gives you 10 times more popularity! Any and all other photographs are of uninspired things (try photographing a tree, it's sooooo deep, man) and naturally receive about 100 favorites within a few seconds of their posting. HDR photos are automatically awarded a Daily Deviation and receive over 9000 faves no matter how shitty they are (BECAUSE IT IS SO SURREAL LOL). Then there are camwhores who think they're SUPER DUPER SPECIAL because they take pictures of their horsies and think people are jealous of their awesome pets when they can be doing things more productive with their boring lives.
Writings featured on DA are usually emo rants about blood, razorblades, and the relationship between the two. Written largely by 16 year old girls, they are often rendered phonetically impossible by assloads of spelling errors. Once a user submits something, it automatically turns into an "artistic expression." As a result, many deviantART "poets" just submit their LJ entries, which additionally guards themselves against being branded as drama whores because, you know, "I'M JUST EXPRESSING MYSELF, MAN. WHAT, DID YOU THINK JIM MORRISON WAS A DRAMA WHORE, TOO, YOU CALLOUS CRETIN?"
NOBODY on deviantART knows what prose means. While poetry focuses on the surrealist interpretations of cutting, prose mentions every detail of your 30 minute cut-a-thon, and later goes into how nobody from school understands your scars, and how your gf/bf/ff left you because you're a pathetic, whiny attention whore. Any and all good criticism given of prose on deviantART will (without exception) be written off by the whiny TARTlet as you being a troll, since 99% of all prose on DA is apparently written by the same syphilitic leper. The truly great prose of deviantART art is overlooked because it is too long and/or too complex for the average 16-year-old.
ALL dA users are just not up to speed. Unable to produce even the most crude stick-figure scrawlings of "tasteful" furry or Invader Zim fanart? No need not feel left out! Simply mash your overly large, greasy thumb onto the printscreen key will capture your amazing desktop! Now you can receive praise and glory based on your interesting desktop background and show everyone online that you are a cool cat with all the latest icons. Firefox is mandatory; don't even bother otherwise. Also, lacking a World of Warcraft icon loses you serious points.
Why DA decided to host Flash-based animations is anyone's guess. The only users who submit Flash works on DA are failures (and divas) who couldn't get on AlbinoBlackSheep or even Newgrounds. The majority of these creations usually involve ninjas or absolute shit such as dress up games. There are also "Create your Own Sonic OC" and "Create a Wolf" games.
Three Dimensional Art
At the mention of the words "3D art", you're probably thinking "u meen liek XBAWKS graffiks" or Toy Story quality work. You will not find any of that on deviantart. Instead you will find Poser-generated bullshit and Second Life screenshots, which equates to playing with Barbie dolls except with less facial expressions.
To put it simply: Push button, receive blobs of colors. Although the actual concept of fractal geometry far is too complex for most people to understand and (surprise, surprise) devianTarts are bad at math.
Okay, i got scarlet fever, as the journal entry suggests. It's a lovely little disease that causes a rash that itches to hell and back, causes evil evil fever, causes enflamed throat, skull cleaving headaches, and god do i ever have to scratch my balls... i mean seriously, of all the places the rash could have gone, it went to my back, which i can't scratch, and to my god damn nuts.
Types of Tartlets (Deviants)
Tartlets (also known as Deviants) can choose what kind of Deviant they want to pretend to be by choosing from a drop-down menu. They are listed here in order of increasing offensiveness.
The Artist (Artifex faber)
Constantly banhammered for displaying none of the above characteristics and wanting a place to share their art, the Artifex faber population has experienced a sharp decline, becoming an endangered species relegated to a life of struggling to feed and clothe themselves and their 17 year-old, 8-month-pregnant girlfriend. Many have fled deviantART to more quality-oriented art sites like Storm Artists. However, it is still believed this form of Internet artist will become extinct by next year. Van Gogh, Da Vinci, and Michaelangelo are spinning in their graves because of this.
The Addict (Sucis chumpicus)
Tartlets who spend all day on deviantART in the complaints forum or the help with life forum complaining about how much everything on deviantART sucks. They are known for updating their journals every 4 hours, telling you about their personal high-school life as if you cared.
The Attention Troll (Gobblus atticus)
Those who make dA slightly more interesting, providing comments of both controversial and plain annoying natures to provoke responses from those who are willing to post multitudes of journals (i.e furries and any other member of the 'whores' family, such as Favewhores, dAmnwhores, etc.). This specific type of troll originates in the forums, sometimes from other sites, and they most commonly evolve out of sheer boredom. A common characteristic is to stalk admins who then reject them, leaving the troll in a state of site-hatred. They often flee to ED and make pages concerning the admins.
The Favewhore (Amorae ubiquitus)
A Deviant who goes around adding every single submission of another's gallery into their favorites gallery, and everything that goes into their message inboxes. Amorae ubiquitus usually has little or no deviations, or fucking huge galleries full of crap made in MSPaint, or stolen art.
Typical comment by these douchebags: "OMG LIEK KAWAIII NEKO DESUDESUDUES!!111"
The Wallpaperist (Muro faber)
Deviants who believe that running a random script through a 3D-gen program and adding text makes them "interesting". The most common specimens of Muro faber are 13-year-old boys, who just don't know what the fuck "interesting" is, or 20-year-old boys who still think it makes them "interesting".
The Litigious Crumpet (Imma gonna sue-a ya assa offa)
Artist who will go batshit insane if any of her pwecious images have been severely altered (i.e. turned into an icon for a forums board or even passed around period, because what's even worse than having your images cut up by MSPaint?) and threatens to sue people utilizing the oft-abused weapon (and often yiffed by Furries) called the "Digital Millennium Copyright Act" (DMCA).
The 20+ Retard (Sophmorus obsoletus)
A Deviant who claims to be over 20 years old but draws and types like a 3-year-old. If you give the least bit of criticism, they will block you, flag the comment as spam, or hide the comment. The only people that like these types of artists are other such crappy artists or ones that have no art in their gallery and have no idea what art is.
- She REALLY fucking hates "The Secret Show" and will kill anyone who's a fan!
- He is a 26-year-old dude who just got into Thomas the Tank Engine and is expecting a baby in March. Oh, yeah, and he likes to block people who "upset" him. RJ Bandsma, anyone?
- Quite possibly a literal retard.
The Flash Maker (Fulgore faber)
13-year-old boys who make boring looped Flash animations of random subjects that consist of five frames and run for ten seconds. Otherwise, they make countless dating game simulations featuring stick figures or tracings from Dragonball Z so that they can fap to them. These tartlets usually belong on YTMND or Newgrounds but some migrate to deviantART for additional attention-whoring.
The "Draw Something Else Already" Fetishist (Copaepastus unoriginus)
People who make and submit absolutely nothing but pictures that portray their main fetish(es). They're much worse than your typical tartlet, especially if they consstantly rub said fetish(es) into other people's faces.
dAmnwhores (Audarae filia)
13-to-16-year-old girls who frequent deviantART's chatrooms. Unlike the forums, the CHAT is teh most denjerus place in deviantART. dAmn (deviantART Messaging Network) is inhabited by camwhores, pedophiles, azns, white men, crackwhores, stoners, filipinos, and George W. Bush.
The Camwhore (Vidarae filia)
16 year old girls who've evacuated from MySpace shutdowns and timeouts in favor of the deviantART shutdowns and timeouts. They herald their existence by flooding the front pages with crappy webcam shots of their ass and graduate to posting thinly-veiled shots of their vagina under the pretense of 'Artistic Nudity'. Naturally, they get almost as many Daily Deviations as The Pornographer.
The Hybrid (Portmanteau)
A fairly common but equally pretentious breed of Tartlet who is an incestuous inbred combination of significant traits deriving from all, or a select few of the other deranged types of 'Deviant'. They herald delusions that only their twisted ideals hold value, and if said view is confronted, they attempt to suck the fan/fapping sympathy of DeviantART's community teet through worthless Journal venting whenever an emotional surge occurs in their otherwise pathetic lives. The Hybrid in action: Member; A whiny little bitch/The "Draw Something Else Already" Fetishist.
The Pornographer (Penis puer)
These are photographers who are convinced keeping nudies in their gallery that "AWESOME, HOLY SHIT, DID YOU SEE THOSE TITS!?" will get a Daily Deviation every week as they, meanwhile, vigorously defend their right to post their boobs, their sister's boobs, their dog's boobs, your mom's boobs, Janet Jackson's uni boob, or whomever's boobs until kingdom come. It should here be noted the admins agree with this notion: pictures of boobs and vaginae are just intensely artistic (IMPORTANT: Admins also agree that male nudity similar in nature is not covered under this, due of course to blatant gayness). Emo boys also fit into this group because they believe that taking a sepia-toned picture of their ugly face and greasy hair and blasting it with the dodge tool is "hot" or "artistic." Then they upload their abominations to the nudity section, much to the pleasure of Ville Valo fangirls. Swedish dickheads like Yoshaki and Limpurtikles seems to enjoy watching 16 year old girls getting tied up.
The Drive-By Propagandist (Shitbaticus insanicus)
These cunning deviantARTlets spew their unwelcome propaganda on their galleries and journals, and attempt to silence anyone who dares question their backwards logic.
The Sonic Recolourist (Velocitas colorare)
These so-called 'artists' take screenshots from Sonic the Hedgehog games and shit all over them to form red Sonics, yellow Sonics, blue Tailses and lime green Shadows. (See Also: the cross-over effects of the emo movement evidenced by Mario's fabled brother "Luigi" shifting from his classic green composure to the less Nintendoesque "Pink vs. Black" so favored by said fucktards - user LironDe /Removed/) They are easily enraged by statements that contradict the "incredible originality and brilliance" of their artwork and are quick to accuse others of "stealing" their "Green Sonic" fan-character, despite the fact that Sonic artists are only aware of 8 colours (black, white, red, green, blue, pink, yellow, and cyan.)
The Fandom Retard (Maria suezae)
These people only go around drawing animu, making flashy animu "art" of characters fucking their mother's sister's brother, creating sophisticated, stylistic portraits of males from Shojo such as Fruits Basket and joining crappy clubs but insist they're not furries or retarded. For most, this is a temporary larval stage lasting until the age of 16 and metamorphose into MySpace whores, furries or pedophiles. They can usually be found plagiarizing, defending and kissing the ass of people who fit in The Popular Ass category, or, rarely, like Zeriara, becoming jealous of them and drawing kill art of their characters.
Occasionally, these insufferable weeaboos also post shitty fanfiction, which, predictably, is a re-upload of their collections from Fanfiction.net. The theory is that the more sites they post their ficshit on, the more their e-peeni will be stroked. If they gather more attention, epileptic orgasms ensue. Typically, if fanfics are well-written (even more rare on DA than on Fanfiction.net), they will be porn masquerading as fine literature.
The Fatass (AKA 'Fat/Inflation Artist') (Fattius asinus)
These so called 'Fat-Admirers create inflated or grossly-overweight depictions of pre-existing or original characters with MSPaint's curve tool, or are manually drawn in pencil. They will ruthlessly defend their "art," calling their personal army of friends for support at the first sight of a negative comment. Unfortunately, fatasses continually subject innocent people to Eyerape with their awful artwork, and must be stopped. These fuckheads really need to draw something else for a change.
This guy is a prime example.
The XNALara faggots (XnaLaricus faggoticus)
These 13 year old fangirls and faggots make most stunning video game renders ever seen to the human's eye. And since the name of this little tool is XNALara, as in Lara Croft, from Tomb Raider, you get Resident Evil renders. And "erotic" art. Also, they release shit mesh-mods of Jill Valentine in the same faggy business suit.
Oh, and if you DARE to say how much their model sucks, is poorly made and is not professional in any way, they will block you and delete your comment.
The highest level of creativity of an average XNALara faggot. Notice how perfectly the skin tone of her legs and face match.
The Furry or "Anthro Artist" (Yifficus totalis)
These usually cause the most drama by whining about how much everyone hates their fursonas and getting their art stolen by ten year olds because only THEY own the copyright to lemurs/huskies/redpandas/dicknippled nine-tailed vampire fairy badgers/ad infinitum, so they delete all their pictures only to make a new deviantART account soon after.
The Flaggot (Banius pedocunteus)
The term flaggot, unknown outside of UrBanned Dictionary before the advent of TGcomix and his brand of self-righteous martyrdom, is a term used to describe bastards who have the gall to report Saints who have done absolutely nothing wrong.
Overlooking a pedobitch who failed the psychological test for a sex change operation regularly using a portmanteau of "faggot," what is a flaggot? Well, to trannies who march in a one-person trap-parade 24/7 and cry oppression like a bicurious teenage girl, a flaggot is anyone who reports your lolicon lifts. This incestuous lovechild germinates into an organized effort by a cabal of homophobes on a site which regularly features GBLT to get the admins, many of them passing as homosexuals, to ban someone who is as wanted as a boner at a Purity Ball.
Typical comment: Comment marked as spam.
The Cosplayer (Imbicilae in costumus)
These tartlets are actually stupid enough to get a professional photographer to take pictures of their fantastic costumes their comatose grandmother made them. The average age of the cosplayer is 24. Not surprisingly, some cosplayers give up their heterosexuality to fit in with their chosen character, and, knowing many tartlets, will give up theirs to be like their idols. Too bad they don't have a professional photog.
Unless you're a famous cosplayer of EPIC WIN, you can attract pornographers armed with HUEG cameras to shoot you more than OJ Simpson can. A perfect example for this kind of cosplayer is Alodia or blackmage9 - a coswhore who is freakingly famous in her country and also some sort of a celebrity in the internet. Alodia is about to dominate the world with her "kawaii" (a.k.a. sexual charm) talent to seduce every stalking fucktard so they can buy her prints and bid a shitload of Jewgold for all of her used stuff.
A subset of this tartlet is the The Poseur (Passuer imagica thuivery) who is stupid enough to plagiarize a set of images from the same cosplayer (preferably famous or in professionally-made attire), or a combination of several different cosplayers' images, regardless of nationality, body type, facial features, or even gender. The best part is that people accept the dupe as genuine, leaving rave comments and expressing their appreciation of the imposter's "talents."
The Popular Ass (Popularium asinus)Kingdom Hearts, Sonic, Furry, Pokemon, Disney, Super Smash Bros., Anime, Narutard and hentai "fanart" and they regularly threaten to leave about thirty times per week.
The Emo Poet (Plagiralus emotalis)
These are the people who are too stuck-up to bother with either Myspace or LiveJournal because they believe they are artistic. They can often be found redistributing copypasta from vampirefreaks, trying to seem hardcore. A recently discovered relative of this species is Monglus Canus, commonly know as the Dogmongler.
The Emographer (Vidarae filia emotalis)
The HXC Moshgrapher (Br00talis XXXila)
Moar 13-year-old boys who upload photographs of themselves and their HXC mosh pit crew fighting ghosts at local hardcore shows. Normally stolen from Destroy All Lines, These emo zubs will threaten with gangrape and epic flaming if their lens flare spin kick br00tal XXX mic steal pics are criticized. Note the sweat, blood (from razors) and semen on the lens.
ED Crew (Anonymus lulzae)
The lurkers of deviantART who dig up all the glorious lulz and tell the truth about this place. Be they banned or spurned, these dedicated men and women pursue their intended targets with constant vigilance and unwavering dedication.
Cheerleaders of Anonymous (Anonymus lulzae pussia)
Some users of deviantART, being namefags of sorts, fear teh banhammer, but will indirectly participate, or at least cheer, from the sidelines as frontline Anonymous kill the faggotry with fire. True Anons are encouraged to rape them until they stop being pussies and join in the fun. Some even act as if they knew anonymous all their lives.
Levels of Tartlets
Also known as "normal" tartlets, they are ubiquitous, and can be found in even the deepest pits of deviantART. Members are mostly whiny little bitches, furries and fags that post everything about their lives in their journal on a daily basis. This group mostly consists of retards who assume that posting shit fan art every single day of their pathetic lives will make them famous. They also hope to be promoted to senior members or admins, but don't realise that even deviantART rejects retards as potential material.
Although rare, this level contains the closest thing to real artists that deviantART has. These people are fucktarded enough to give deviantART money in return for additional features, and their payments form the bulk of deviantART's income. The adminz treat them as if they were their children, protecting them from anything that might harm them, but once they realize the truth and show signs of it, the moderators will drop the banhammer on them before they can spread the truth. Once banned Subscribed tartlets will beg, scream and cry for their money back, only to be told to STFU and GTFO.
lolly This demonstrates where the subscribers' money goes.
Beta Testers are a sub-species of Subscribers and are also a source of deviantART's income, but instead of getting more goodies than the subscribers, they actually work for deviantART by testing their new features. The only reason anyone would choose to be a Beta Tester would be for the symbol or to get closer to becoming an admin.
Senior Members are either really old people who have been tartlets for at least 100 years or former administrators. Noone really likes seniors but they pretend to like them in order to become Seniors themselves. The rules are simple on how to become a Senior Member on deviantART, mostly because the admins were too fucking lame to come up with anything more original than ripping off Fight Club .
There are two types of Senior Members on deviantART:
- The Attention Whores who think they are PILLARS OF THE CUMMUNITY and must sexually involve themselves in everything and everyone. These members are easily noticeable by their appearance everywhere and their constant positive attitude towards everything. They would smile, even in the face of a black person who was about to rape them and steal their car.
- The Internet tough guys who like to run around and troll everything they can find. You'll often see them in the forums or chatrooms telling people to "fuck off" or "take the knot." But the moment one of their admin friends are attacked, they rush in head first. These Senior Members are the worst kind, since no matter what they do or whoever they butthurt, they will not be banned EVAR because they perform various sexual acts for the admins.
- CEO- User bot or a lazy admin Not even sure is this is a
- Advertising- A bunch of nobodies, who let photoshopped disasters onto the site as fail advertisements. They got in trouble for letting Pornographic advertisements onto the site.
- Communications- Not much on them
- Community- the people who answer the report tickets
the ones to take note of are as followed:
The report won't end well. He is also said to be finding loopholes to keep tracer on the site.or more commonly called "RetardedSquared". Not only does he completely ignore copyright laws, but he condones tracing, screenshots of copyrighted anime and manga, and people posting their penises and vaginas onto the site as "nude arts". Getting a reply to a report from him, is a sign that
minions. Not a good admin to get in a report. HE most likely became an admin after sucking on RetardedSquare's tiny dick.one of Retardedsquares
He has a strange obsession with nipples. Oh and he is one of the admins who will follow the rules.A giant bannhammer.
stupid moments, but most of the time she can be useful.The lesser evil of them. SHe does have her
one of the most retarded admins ever. She will blatantly ignore important details, and don't expect a block evasion case to go right when she replies to it
Most of the other admins really are just not worthy of noting
Getting the Most out of deviantART
As deviantART is full of wonderfully talented artists who dedicate their lives to the pursuit of Brilliance, many Lulz can be achieved through complimenting their artistic superiority and suggesting they take their art to somewhere it'll be appreciated the most: conceptart.org. Several known Tartlets have easily been milked for lulz by their surprise at constructive criticism. (See chase; or Snapesnogger).
- Unjustified self importance
- Assburgers Syndrome
- Anime artwork
- Fantard of any kind
- THIS IS MY STYLE!!!111oneoneeleven
- Countless other signs of Retardation or Fail, which to any ED user, should be abhorrently apparent by now.
2. Follow their activity on conceptart.org. The most commonly predictable trait exhibited is posting shit in the finally finished forum. Here, Admins and partially skilled professionals will give honest critique (And yes, I am too lazy to continue referencing) and from here the lultrain leave the station when any Tartlet will either
- Defend their art
- Tell the admins how mean they are
- Tell themselves they are talented and eat a tub of Ice cream
- Or just write it off and continue posting their Epic Failures.
Commenting and Favoriting
Commenting on a deviation means giving a completely dishonest opinion of it - if the deviation happens to be just a pile of MSPaint shit, the comments it receives usually say: 'I dig your style' or 'This is so awesome FAV'D++'. Meanwhile, a Favorite is used when a deviant can't even be arsed to write a single word.
A typical comment from a Weaboo
"I must say, this is a striking image. It possesses such a bright, color-rich atmosphere and I just can't take my eyes off of it. However, I think you could have invested more time in defining the proportions during the early stages of the work because one of the girl's hands appears slightly larger than the other, even though it's further away. You may also want to consider the placement of light sources in the picture before applying the shading. While the light really brings it to life, it's coming from the wrong direction. Setting that aside, I think it's a beautiful picture. Keep up with the good work!"
"This seems to have taken a good amount of time and I've seen improvement in your work. The only thing I can mention is the proportions are a bit off. I saw a lovely tutorial on proportions with expressions here [link]
Good luck and I think with a little more work you'll be even better! :)"
- "First comment!"
- "OMG SOOO CUTE!! *hugs*
- "AAAAAAAAAAH THIS IS SO WRONG!!!ONE". (Add more than 20 emoticons of your choice for full effect.)
- "SUGOI KAWAII DESU NE!"
- "This bad bad! But I like cause is sexy. They go bed and sex! :D "
- "Yaoi! Yay! But Inuyasha is mine!"
- "I love that show!"
- "A++++++ WOULD FAVE AGAIN"
Posting Links to ED on DA
It seems when someone posts a link to any ED article, DeviantART immediately gives you a spam prompt, thinking you're spamming the site. Oddly enough, just writing out "Encyclopedia Dramatica" doesn't trip the filter.
What a perfect cover for filtering out unwanted drama. All you need to do create a tinyurl.
Aside from drawing animu, the primary goal of a tartlet is to obtain pageviews. Remember, kids: Attention is the most vital commodity of survival to the emofur girls that comprise the bulk of deviantART's population! Let's look at the following equation that was developed through intensive research:
Pageviews are a terrible drug that can drive a tartlet to engage in all sorts of lies, trickery and treachery. The quest for pageviews creates great banquets of the drama on DA, where tartlets pull all sorts of stupid shit such as faking a mass suicide. Scientific research has proven that tartlets cannot reach orgasm without first acquiring over 9000 views of their traced fanart.This guide contained far more effective tactics and strategies for obtaining pageviews.
Attention Whores can drop $20 to have their shit spammed until 500 dorks click it!
Just like winning the lotto, except your chances are improved by asskissing and the prize is in pageviews and flames, not money. Daily deviations (DDs) are arts that have been featured for 24 hours, give or take a day or two depending on the server lag. Considering the quality of the daily deviations chosen (see right for an example), it’s no wonder that most admins with DD-picking privileges complain about being inundated with suggestions. Fits that DDs are visible on the dA footer, which is kind of like the asshole of the whole site.
They also enjoy to give DD to stolen and edited art without caring about the original artist, suggesting that the person joins Deviantart to get the DD removed. Oh the love.
Regarding McCreepy the Frog… moonbeam13 initially awarded the DD. Much butthurt ensued, both at the ‘artist’ and the DD selector. The next morning, moonbeam13 posted a journal explaining that she didn’t mean to award it a DD - it was to test out the new DD system, and she hadn’t removed it properly before going to bed. She then removed the DD. Soon after, Purpleblur re-awarded a DD to McCreepy the Frog, just to assert that mod powah is absolute and to stick it to the whiny bitches that actually wanted to see art. This makes it the only piece on dA that was deliberately featured for 48 hours straight, and thus the most important Daily Deviation to exist.
Yet another great DD
A relatively new way for "artists" to get noticed. Groups are a weak attempt by the admins to give members a feeling of self-worth and general acceptance, thus why they're called "groups". They're basically a bunch of fetish junkies who want to up their popularity but posting their "arts" for other like minded individuals.
There are various ways in which you could get your ass banned from deviantART. They include:
- Making a favorite category called "retarded crap" then adding every deviation to it.
- Making any kind of comment, positive or negative, on a Daily Deviation (Usually a piece of porn that's featured for a day).
- Don't suck Japan's dick.
- Being a bad reference to the site (i.e. getting an Encyclopedia Dramatica article).
- Putting crap in the wrong category.
- Trolling (that's an easy one, especially now that tartlets don't have to BAWWWWW to the mods every time due to the recent addition of a "Report Spam" button).
- Promoting warez.
- Labeling another deviant as "bitch" (see Bleedman).
- Jokingly referring to another deviant as a "godless devil-worshipper".
- Having ever visited any *chan board.
- Pointing out the really very manly mustache that the admin chix0r has.
- Linking to ED articles with the aim of potential lulz.
- Asking people if they liek mudkip
- Opposing animal abuse (see poeticirony).
- Being a fan of Encyclopædia Dramatica. The moderators will get even more upset if you mention it on deviantART, particularly on the profile of a moderator.
- Questioning anything on the site.
- Posting Goatse in the "Artistic Nude" category.
- Contacting someone who has blocked you (place of contact has to be outside of their userpage, thus making the Block system utterly worthless).
- Trolling the forums complaining about how Fanart should not be featured (it should be killed with fire). Be prepared for incoming eBaumfags, weeaboos, and artfags. Many lulz and drama will ensue.
- Making screenshots that aren't properly censored (According to RetardedSquared, they are all forms of "bullying" and therefore not allowed
- Giving out constructive criticism or, really, criticism of any kind.
Many potential lulz exist when doing any of the above. The users and administrators do not like criticism of any form, people who are opposed to anime porn, and people who are in touch with the outside world. They prefer the type of people who will throw away money for the site (this act has been named "subscription")
It should be noted that if you laugh too hard at the artists on their site, you will be banned in spite of your subscription status. If you're a masochist/have nothing else to do with your life and decide to make a new account after getting banned, then the admins will hunt you down and ban your new account in between sucking Snapesnogger and Teruchan's dicks. In other words: why the fuck are you making a new account there in the first place?
In late March of 2010, deviantTART added a new feature guaranteed to cause more idiotic drama. Llama badges. These stupid things are now worth more than pageviews, as a they have spawned numerous groups and pages of people clamoring for them. As an added bonus, the badge levels up as you receive a certain number of them, which makes every TARTlet want FUCKING MOAR!!!. Not so recently an addition was made to the Llama madness when DeviantART added the ability to literally buy accessories for your Llamas along with the llamas themselves. In an effort to control the madness DeviantART added an annoying Spam Filter, which popped up after giving a few dozen llamas, to provoke even more drama DeviatART decided to replace the filter message with a different one telling users they didn't have enough points to complete the transaction and requesting them to purchase more points.
The Points System
deviantART has a system of points that serve as on site credits, Tartlets often treat these points like gold and beg for them like a Jew. These points can only be used on-site, and it takes over 9,000 of them just to get even the most basic of uses out of them. Most Tartlets will start a donation pool to get more points so they can buy stuff. Points are commonly exchanged for even more Llamas, and there is even an exchange dedicated to the trade of worthless Llamas for points, most Tarlets are unaware of this system and will often beg for points on their page in exchange for Llama's, comments, watches, faves, and even commissions.
As of January 2011 many deviants received a rude awakening to the struggles of the real world, when DeviantART started to penalize Deviants for accepting "Fraudulent Points" from other members on the site. This resulted in the first official DeviantART Debt Crisis of the current recession. This lead many of deviantART's beggars and businesspeople to be put into debt with their negative point balances.
Adoptables are the disease of deviantart that Jew use to get watchers or points. every furry on deviantart has made one in their time. Adoptables usually have a system where you give the fugly mismatched coloured character a name then draw it in your style. It usually results in butthurt failures crying because [insert username including the word wolf here] did not draw the doggie within 3 days of "claiming" it. The other way is to send points that they use to buy other even uglier designs. Users that make adoptables cry if you insult their pretty designs... hint hint.
Want to show your dA pride? Now you can buy shirts, hats, and much more with deviantWEAR!
Yes, with designs like "Pageview Whore" you will truly be the the envy of your friends… if you had any.
As of May 2013, you can no longer buy merch from DeviantART.
46 Rules of deviantART
- deviantART is serious business
- One day, I’ll be a great manga artist
- The longer the journal entries, the better my art becomes
- The more flashing friend icons, the better my art becomes
- Tracing and recoloring is the same as using a reference
- Blurry MySpace pictures of myself, taken without even using the timer mode are art
- Photoshop filters are the same as photography skill
- Lens flare makes EVERYTHING better!
- Critics are only critical because they are jealous of my stick figures
- All male game or anime characters are in love with each other
- All characters split into two versions when entering DeviantArt: normal and furry, and the furry version is always better than the regular one – cat ears are obligatory
- All characters have child-like alter-egos, which I prefer, but not because I’m a paedophile
- People don’t know there’s a Full View function, so I must inform them of it, and demand that they use it every time I upload something, no matter how crappy, by commenting “FULL VIEW PLEASE!!!!!!”
- The whole world is only waiting for one thing: seeing me naked
- It’s art if I say it is!
- 2,000 pageviews means I have to make a kawaiiiii picture thanking people for looking at my other kawaiiii pictures, preferably with as many hearts as possible
- Being on DeviantArt means I am special
- It’s not paedophilia when I draw it
- Comments any less positive than “OMG awesome!” must be considered flames, and even the slightest bit of criticism is worth starting a fight and getting banned over
- The DeviantArt comments system is a great chatbox, especially if it’s someone else’s page!
- There is nothing wrong with inflation art
- If I fave one of your pictures, you have to fave one of mine, no matter how terrible I am, otherwise you’re ungrateful
- Everyone is interested in my private life, so I must spam my journal full of uninteresting junk (see #1)
- If people troll my account due to a mention in ED, I must throw a tantrum, threaten to hex them, say they’ve fallen into my trap, bawl to the moderators and/or threaten legal action and claim lawyers are already on the case
- I have more pageviews, therefore my art is better than yours
- Making alternate accounts praising my main account is a brilliant tactic
- Copy-pasting an “I like your art” comment on loads of Random Deviant pages without looking at the art is a brilliant tactic
- Making a thread in the ThumbShare forum, dedicated only to me with the sole intention of throwing my own art into everyone's faces is a brilliant tactic
- No matter how crappy my art is, and regardless of the fact that no one would hang it on their wall to save their lives, I must still make all my art available as Prints
- The human body is beautiful and never pornographic, even if it’s being penetrated anally by a furry’s cock
- My profile icon flashes or moves, that means I’m a better artist than you
- Submitting Deviations without commenting anything more than, “me again”, “lol”, “...” or “meh” is artistic
- Poetry isn’t artistic if it doesn’t have elementary school rhymes and isn’t about razors or angst or slitting wrists
- We’ve made porn of it. No exceptions.
- There will be fav w/o comment drama. No exceptions.
- Art memes are fun, and when they say I must tag three people, I must always tag EVERYBODY!!!11!
- The cool kids set themselves to invisible
- I must threaten everyone who might possibly steal my art with physical violence, even though I’m behind a computer
- Snape is perfectly capable of getting pregnant
- I AM Asian. Really. Can’t you see the painted cat eyes and the V-sign I make with my fingers?
- My desktop picture must contain a World of Warcraft-icon, and the wallpaper may under no circumstance have the correct aspect ratio
- I paid Jew Gold for my account, so everything I made has just become better than everything you’ll ever make
- Even though I spend every minute I have on DeviantArt, I must still complain how much it sucks as often as possible.
- I must always be proud of making the first comment, even when I have nothing more to write than, “First comment!”
- I can always delete my account and make a new one
- It was an accident retard
April Fools' Day
On April 1st, 2008, the deviantART crew, in a fail attempt to seem "Internets hip", decided to make an April Fools Joke by turning everyone's icon (including those who lacked one) into Mudkips. Unfortunately, they failed to realize that not everyone on their site is a sick fuck weeaboo who spends his free time in the basement fapping to Mudkip pr0n.
Almost instantly, whiny teenage emos overran the Help Desk, Help Chat and Complaints Forum, asking essentially the same thing: "Why is my icon a Mudkip?" When these butthurt "artists" attempted to revert their icons back to normal in order to accurately reflect their individuality and unique-isity, their efforts were met with a strange error message:
and it was a fail
Two years after the Mudkips incident, deviantArt tried again to make an April Fool's joke, and failed again, unless somehow provoking unbridled amounts of rage and whining is their idea of a reaction to a successful prank. This time around they replace everyone's icons (and signatures as well this time) with Twilight and Lady Gaga-based stuff, possibly due to any reasonable person going "WTF" in the face of such things.
2011DeviantART, in their never-ending search to please the ten-year olds that inhabit the site, somehow found out about Troll face, and decided to completely fuck it up.
They put images of the infamous character everywhere, in order to piss off the smart tartlets, because they couldn't read their messages and no one could see their art.
Since everyone knows clicking things makes it go away, our beloved Troll face was assaulted by thousands of mice that fateful day. Little did these heartless criminals know, doing so would only lead to a message explaining the prank, which completely ruins the idea
2012 - The Furry Uprising
Deviantart, being the slow-as-fuck little inbreds they are, decided to appeal to the cat lovers of the internet by making cats the "main thing", they had a window pop up every 20 seconds, informing you about "mandatory cat education", by including small cat-related facts , and forced every user to create cat-related art, to appease the cat hitler, or else their little demon mascot would be killed. Upon clicking the popup, you were met with a picture of cat-hitler, and this message:
—The autistic deviantART team - Way behind on internet culture
devianTART Gender Wank November 2010
During a recent upgrade, devianTART decided everyone on the site had to specify their gender as male or female. When confronted with this fact, transfinite asked WTF and many Tartstaff answered your mom and showed just what kind of tartlet they're looking for.
1,000 Image Search Limit
Just in time for the 2010 Holiday Season, deviantART decided to add a search limit to the number of results a person can see. This resulted in almost immediate RAGE by the Tartlet community, once they realized they could no longer view hidden masterpieces of the wonderful worlds of Pokemon, Twilight, Harry Potter, Naruto, and Vocaloid. This resulted in many Internet Protests on and off the site and a surge in Forum activity, to which the admins said that they really didn't give a fuck.
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DeviantART in a Nutshell
|deviantART||About missing Pics|
Because managing a picture host for Sonic recolors and traced anime screencaps is Srs Bsns, the DA admins have started a campaign for them to manage a Top Level Domain, and have submitted an application to ICANN. Currently the comments are either slavish cock sucking of the admins for e-points, or variations on "what the fuck are you thinking?"
- ButLova - The Uwe Boll of the inflation fetish community. Hated and a disgrace.
- DA World Tour 2009
- Dongforce hijacks 2000 accounts
- Flipnote Hatena
- Furaffinity - Homeworld of the furry artwork.
- Jark - The yellow alien.
- Smorekitty97 - Another one of the countless furries that populate deviantart.
- Tom Preston
- Yuikami - She is what happens when a tartlet discovers TF2.
- Banditkazoo - Typical devART furfag
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|Featured article February 19, 2006|
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