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Desuchan

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DESU FUKKEN FIXED
Desuchan
Desuscream.png
Foundation January 2007
Founded by Dark Master Schmidt
Major Boards /desu/, /ro/, /ot/, /rp/, /touhou/, /loli/, /o/, /tr/
Website desuchan.net
Cur. Status Online
IRC irc.irchighway.net#desuchan

Desuchan is the place where thousands upon thousands of Desufaggots go for all of their Rozen Maiden needs. This website was made by a weeaboo pedo named Dark Master Schmidt and has since been inhabited by fans of the anime as well as many other people ranging from dramafags to touhoufags and the occasional /b/tard troll. The said imageboard contains boards dedicated to the dolls, as well as a general Rozen Maiden board, containing nothing but pure pictures of Dolljoints. It also has numerous other boards, such as /loli/, /rp/, /touhou/, etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum.

Desuchan has been around longer than The Internet and was created by Al Gore as a government investigation to determine how to make people whiny faggots. The investigation determined that if a large amount of touhoufags and rpfags are held on the same board for an indefinite amount of time, everyone, even the neutralfags, will end up being a pissy bitch. During its early days, Desuchan spent most of its time getting brought down by DDoS against its shitty server, with the once cancer-free Bokuchan serving as a temporary refuge during outages. Lately, uptime increased dramatically, and apart from the occasional v&, things are just fine thanks.

Contents

Notable Boards

Created in January of 2007, Desuchan began as a tiny little *chan with only a few boards (/ro/, /desu/, /ot/), but within the year grew into a thriving *chan with at least 25 boards (prompting some to complain it was 'turning into another 4chan'[1]). As of October 2010, Desuchan boasts over 40 boards. That's as many as four tens. And that's terrible. Some of the most popular (and hence notable) include:

  • /desu/ - Home to the main focus of the board, /desu/ contains lots and lots of desu faggotry. Many people have contributed by posting hundreds upon hundreds of desu pictures and shoops just to make themselves satisfied. However, what makes this board pretty much lame is the fact that IT NEEDS MOAR DESU. To troll /desu/, just use Gaston, or Jissou. It's super effective.
  • /ot/ - This board is similar in function to 4chan's /b/, only this time, it was home to dramafags after their exodus from 4chan (until the creation of /rp/). Unlike /b/, this board lacks the usual content posted by /b/tards and is only considered as a second rate wanna-/b/.
  • /ro/ - Dedicated to everything Rozen Maiden-related that doesn't fit into one of the individual Maiden boards.
  • /rp/ - Dedicated to the RPfags, who occasionally create some lulz.
  • /touhou/ - Dedicated to LULZ SHOOTAN GAMEZ. And lolis.
  • /o/ - Ancestral home of Aphex and other drawfags. Home of IRC-tans.
  • /loli/ - Bitch, don't act like you don't know what this is for.
  • /tr/ - Where Megu goes to fap and pretend he's straight. Currently the most active board on Desuchan.

Complete board listing

Rozen MaidenJapanHobbies
  • /bananas/ - Kirakishou
  • /dawa/ - Shinku
  • /desu/ - Suiseiseki
  • /jum/ - Humans
  • /kashira/ - Kanaria
  • /md/ - Manga/Doujinshi
  • /otousama/ - Barasuishou
  • /peach/ - Peach-Pit
  • /ro/ - Rozen Maiden
  • /unyuu/ - Hinaichigo
  • /yakult/ - Suigintou
  • /a/ - Anime
  • /c/ - Anime/MoeBlob*
  • /h/ - Hentai
  • /loli/ - Lolicon
  • /moonspeak/ - Moonspeak
  • /nij/ - Nijiura Spinoffs 
  • /nipa/ - Higurashi
  • /touhou/ - Touhou
  • /tr/ - Traps
  • /yan/ - Yandere/Yangire*
  • /vn/ - Visual Novels and Eroge* 
  • /do/ - Dolls
  • /fi/ - Figurines
  • /lit/ - Literature & Write Fags 
  • /o/ - Oekaki
  • /pro/ - Projects 
  • /tech/ - Technology 
  • /v/ - Vidya Gaems
  • /vic/ - Victorian & Gothic Lolita
Off-TopicMetaInactive
  • /arrrrr/ - Muzak
  • /gar/ - GAR*
  • /gif/ - GIFs/media
  • /media/ - Audio and Video
  • /ot/ - Off-topic
  • /r/ - Request
  • /rp/ - Roleplay and Fiction
  • /w/ - Wallpaper
  • /donate/ - Jew golds
  • /mod/ - Moderators
  • /sandbox/ - Trial boards 
  • /sugg/ - Suggestions & Help
  • /junk/ - Suigintou
  • /MEGU/ - Guro(?)
  • /radio/ - Desu Radio
  • /temp/ - Temporary All-topic board

* : Recently added board (since Jan 2010).

Other shit

Nuvola
Moar info: DesuRadio.

In June 2008, after getting frustrated with months of their website's intermittent downtime, a group of antsy desufags decided to create an internets radio station, calling it DesuRadio (no relation with the now-defunct Desu-radio). DesuRadio is based out of Desuchan's IRC channel (irc.irchighway.net#desuchan).

Later on in the year, after experimenting with different methods of streaming video, the same antsy faggots hooked up an account on Mogulus (now Livestream) to create DesuTV, which performed amazingly well compared to the radio. DesuTV for short, usually autoplays random Youtube crap ranging from MADs/AMVs of anime like Rozen Maiden or Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni, through Youtube Poops and Touhou MADs to 2ch/Nicovideo meme vids when no admins are around. In the evenings Eastern time, though, people usually get online for live streaming sessions, with anime like Rozen Maiden (of course), Hokuto no Ken (Fist of the North Star), Detroit Metal City, Dokuro-Chan, Ranma 1/2, Maria+Holic, Full Metal Panic, and the like. DesuTV has its own IRC channel (irc.irchighway.net#desutv).

Frequent Users

Typical Desuchan user.

Namefaggotry and Tripfaggotry are accepted practice on Desuchan. Overall, Desuchan's userbase is known to be friendly and willing to answer requests for images or information. Desuchan users can be divided into the following groups:

  • Dollfags: Rozen Maiden fans. Known for fapping to dolljoints.
  • Touhoufags: People who like Touhou. Known for fapping to lolis.
  • RPfags: People who like RP. Known for roleplaying. Fapping might be involved somewhere, though.
  • Trolls: Apart from the old school Desuchan trolls, most of these beasts are a new feature of Desuchan, having emigrated from the darkest depths of 4chan. Known for posting anonymously through seven proxies and calling tripfags pimply 13-year-old wankers.
  • e-dramafags: Daemons from the abyss; the natural enemy of anon, Desuchan's version of a furfag. Known for hanging out in IRC and whining about everything.
  • Otherfags: Whatever.

Desuchan regulars have been responsible for the creation of several other niche *chans, such as Mikuchan, Uboachan, and the (now-cancerous) Bokuchan.

Staff

The mods dish out about one of these every 15 minutes.
Admins
  • AnonymousMod/Weedy
  • Dark Master Schmidt
  • K_Anonymous
THE BEST AND ONLY MOD
  • LoliBattleMachine
Global mods
  • Bokuman
  • Dark_Avenger (?)
  • Gattica
  • Hornet
  • Kriegsaffe09
  • MajorGeek42
(moar)
  • m00t
  • Nameless
  • OriginalOP
  • Rozenfag
  • Sinso
  • WinglessHuzzar
  • Yin
Board mods
  • JoJo (/ot/, /v/, /rp/)
  • Shirou (/rp/)
  • Arguecat3 (/moonspeak/)
AFK
  • Aphex
  • Megu
  • dx
Not mods

Memes

DFN loves dolljoints.

Desuchan has created and/or co-opted quite a few of its own memes during its existence. A few of these (e.g. Shirou) were imported straight from /a/; others (e.g. DFN) were present elsewhere but gained an entirely new context on Desuchan; others (e.g. Hamuleen) are Desuchan originals.

  • DollFagNigra (DFN): Pops up, staring upwards, after any erotic picture of one of the Maidens (or the stray KFC bucket). A fantastic, model citizen.
  • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: the President of Iran subjected to many shoops to fit popular sayings such as 'I'd Hit It' or 'Do Want'.
  • Dollmongler: aka "that bellhop guy". A rival to DFN with a Cockmongler-type grin who mongles dolls. Is extremely fond of loli, but makes exceptions. His hobbies include fapping to pictures of Desuchan's mods, grinning, and mongling dolljoints. The Dollmongler appeared shortly after the suspicious disappearance of the Jointmongler, who was a little like the Dollmongler in doll form.
  • Shirou: The use of a picture of Shirou sometimes combined with "I'm not following you" or "...You lost me." in response to an "I'd ___ her ____ if you know what I mean."
  • KanaGET: Pictures of Kanaria are often used to claim GETs on Desuchan, especially on the Maiden boards. Because of the natural rivalry existing in the anime/manga, all the dolls are often seen stealing GETs on each other's boards (e.g. Shinku/Suigintou, Kirakishou/Hinaichigo, etc), but Kanaria is by far the most common.
  • Hamuleen: An annual celebration thought up and copyrighted by Desuchan artfag Aphex while drunk off his ass (naturally). Hamuleen is the true form of Halloween with pork and hammy goodness for all, and is generally celebrated with epic drawfagging of costumed Maidens. Voting for Hamuleen costumes is currently in progress for 2009, with sketches to be delivered by the end of October. Don't mention the walrus.
  • Biggy: Forced meme involving Suigintou and a large bottle of Yakult (weird yogurty thing) with the Engrish marketing slogan "Biggy is mild and good taste" written on its label.
  • Vladimir Putin: Known far and wide as an incredibly sexy hunk of man-flesh, this prime-minister-turned-Bond-villain is especially popular on /kashira/ (a board mostly populated by Russians), but shows up in just about every other board that needs some extra McLovin'.
  • I'll get my coat: ...yes, yes you will.

History

18px-Nuvola apps xmag.png
For moar info, see History of Desuchan.

Desuchan has a long and epic history as a *chan, dating back to the early recesses of 2007, and punctuated by server death, board wipes, raids, and so on—just like every other imageboard, only with more desu. The most lulz-generating part of all this was the massive amounts of drama generated by the numerous outages, causing massive shitstorms and turning Desuchan's entire userbase into jaded bastards. After multiple attempts at getting a better server, admins finally succeeded, meaning an end to hardware failures. Desuchan still gets hax0red fairly regularly though, and, when the admins remember to keep backups, the damage is repaired fairly quickly.

Major shitfits

  • December 2007: Desuchan dies and is replaced with /temp/, an amalgamation of all boards, causing massive drama. Bokuchan is created to deal with the holocaust.
  • Winter/Spring 2008: Desuchan goes into a cycle of on-again, off-again availability, most likely due to a faulty power supply on its hosting server. Uptime plummets, causing more drama.
  • June 12, 2008: Desuchan's server finally goes kaput after its faulty power supply blows, destroying the hard drive. A new server is purchased, fixing the uptime problems.
  • January 3, 2009: Palestinian hackers attack several *chans with Apache exploits, managing to wipe all of Desuchan's boards, replacing their contents with the dubious message "WE WILL NOT STOP TILL OUR DEMANDS ARE MEET". Boards were recovered and reset quickly, bringing about a new era of 1GETs.
  • November 5, 2009: LOL V&—Desuchan's server access is revoked by its uppity Nazi hosting company after a hit-and-run attacker floods all boards with CP. New hosting is purchased, and all boards are restored from recent backups (omg).

tl;dr DESUCHAN IS ALIVE YET AGAIN, POST SOME DOLLJOINTS FGTS.

Codex Desuchannus

Book of Internets

The Great Exodus. Not exactly to scale.

1:1 In the beginning there was Al Gore, and Al Gore was a faggot.
1:2 And Al Gore stretched forth his hand and created the internets from the Void, and it was good.
1:3 And Al Gore created the imageboards, and the m00t, and the Snacks, and the DMS. And many others besides, and it was kind of gay, because there were no girls, but it was still good.
1:4 And on the 9,001st day, Al Gore decreed to DMS that he should go forth and create in the image of 4chan a board dedicated to dollfags. And so DMS went forth.

2:1 And DMS put forth his power, and summoned from the Void a den of dolljoints and wickedness the likes of which the Internets had never known. And there was a great cry on /a/.
2:2 And the /a/ssholes cried unto the Rozen Maiden fans, "Get thyselves away from here! We care not for your dollfaggotry! Every thread is not a Desu thread!"
2:3 And so began the Great Exodus, and many dollfags did perish on the long journey to the Promised Land of DMS, and there was a great movement from /a/, and /a/ did suck slightly more than it used to, but not too much because the relative suck of /a/ was already so high that simply removing one thing couldn't make it suck a lot more.

Book of Desu

Desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu
Nuvola
Moar info: Desu.

1:1 Desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu.
1:2 Desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu.
1:3 Desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu.
1:4 Desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu.
1:5 Desu desu desu desu desu nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp.

(and so on, for several thousand chapters)

A reading from the Book of Boatlights

4:20 And lo, having led a faithful life in devotion to Rozen Maiden, yon dollfaggot perished in the Grace of Our Mother, and was sent down yon long tunnel of red and green, to wait at the Desu Gates. And lo, all game consoles were there, and the number of computer boxen was verily over nine thousand, and the speed of yon internets was verily high.
4:21 And verily, yon dollfaggot was bequeathed ye anime wench of his choice, and was ushered into ye Hall of Desu, where the mead did flow in great streams, and there was also caek, which was delicious. And yon music did stream from the Hall of Partying Hard, which was most excellent.
4:22 But yon dollfaggot heard the cry of the oppressed, whereupon he inquired of its source and was led to witness the victims of the B&hammer, they whose deeds have caused them to be subjected to the punishment of narutardation. This purgatory they suffer at length afore they be cleansed and ready to join Our Great Mother of Boatlights.
4:23 And yon dollfaggot, having refused the temptations of narutardation in his life, was made grateful, and did revel in his grace, and did do a barrel roll. Amen.

Desuchan in a nutshell

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Featured article November 11, 2009
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