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Darwin Awards

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The Darwin Awards celebrate individuals who improve the human gene pool by removing themselves from it in a suitably lulzy manner. The concept draws inspiration from the theory of evolution by natural selection put forward by Charles Darwin in The Origin of Species, which states that the individuals best suited to their environment are more likely to breed than their less well adapted counterparts, which means that over time, a species will become more and more adapted to a paticular environment.

TL;DR: they illustate natural selection in action.

evolution rulez

Contents

How to win a Darwin award

in order to qualify for a Darwin award an individual must first meet certain criteria:

  • The individual in question must be either dead or have been rendered sterile
  • The individual in question must have demonstrated an astoundingly poor level of judgement
  • The individual in question must be the cause of their own demise
  • The individual in question must be both old enough and sane enough to know better (i.e no kids or rerards
  • The incident must have verifiably taken place


Well known winners

Picture of Treadwell moments before being mauled to death.

Timothy "Grizzlyman" Treadwell

Timmy Treadwell was the ultimate furfag. A man who decided to take his love for animals to a whole new level and spent thirteen summers fucking around with grizzly bears before the inevitable happened and Timmy found out that bears are not, in fact, all about care and love and much prefer the taste of manflesh to nuts, berries and raw salmon.


Carlos "Can't Get Me" Sousa Jr

Delicious

An idiot spic who's idea of fun was taunting a fully grown Siberian tiger with his friends San Francisco Zoo on Christmas day 2007. After throwing rocks and pine cones at Tatiana the Tiger the big cat finally lost its shit jumped 15ft in the air and over its containment, and proceded to open up a can of whoop-ass on the three halfwits who had been taunting her, mauling two and killing Sousa outright.





Steve Irwin

A NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS!!

AKA: "Crocodile Dundee" AKA:"that dumbfuck who spent his life pissing large, poisonous and/or otherwise deadly creatures off for fun" Steve Irwin was an Ausfailian who made it big playing with large, fanged, poisonous and otherwise dangerous thingson TV. After spending years narrowly avoiding becoming croc food Steve finally made the mistake of swimming in a murky river full of stingrays, a notoriously skittish creature when cornered, and armed with a 10cm long barb, where Irwin took a blow straight to the heart, mortally wounding him. Alas already having two brats disqualifies him from a true Darwin award but the manner of his life and death definitely qualifies him for an honourable mention.

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