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Cockmongler

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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Original sighting
You can never unsee
The real original cockmongler
Chris Bores, Cockmongler's twin Brother.
The Mongler wrangles with a potential monglee, as his former wrestling persona, Bob Backlund
CockMomgler
Father of Cockmongler. (Cockmongler's face has its own luminosity, and therefore has no shadow)
He'll mongle your iCock.
Cockmongler Furry Edition,
Why the fuck doesn't Chump Manbear have an ED page???

Richard Mongler resides in Drumheller, AB, Canada. He has a major "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" type personality. By day, he is Richard C. Mongler (The C stands for "Cox" he explains) but by night he becomes "Cockmongler" and embarks on a ravishing travel throughout the world. Cockmongler has turned up in places all around the world such as Hong Kong, China, Moscow, Russia, and even places in Iraq and Afghanistan offering to please soldiers of both factions. But strangely Richard always ends up waking back in his own home in Drumheller no matter where he fell asleep. According to him, ever since his photo shoot for the "World's Largest Dinosaur" website, he has had a split personality. The sightings have decreased recently which is reportedly because he is finally having sex with his wife. DO IT FAGGOT

Cockmongler previously had a career as a second-string pro wrestler under the name, Bob Backlund. Unfortunately his contract obligated him to far too much non-mongling related activities, and he was eventually fired on the grounds of being unable to abstain from mongling long enough to fulfil his contract. Some may argue, reasonably, that pro wrestling offers ample opportunity for nearly constant, unlimited cock mongling, so the real circumstances of his retirement are still dubious. Nonetheless, he has now taken up a full-time cock mongling career, since his departure from WWE (formerly WWF).

Contents

Cockmongler vs. Grinman

A very effective way of trolling 4chan's /b/ is to call the Cockmongler "Grinman" or "Smiling man". They all SHIT their pants at once, and induces many, many lulz. Anonymous will have an apoplectic fit:

 
 
For fuck's sake...

Alright, Word Of Power time. It's Grinman. Always has been, always will be. Not Cockmongler. I'm not saying this towards the trolls who've flooded this thread with Cockmongler shit - they've no hope already. I'm saying this for your benefit - the Anonymous onlooker. You may be new and know nothing about this yet, or you may be old and just plain ignorant. But it's not Cockmongler. It started a few months ago, and it's everywhere. Take it from me. It's Grinman. You don't have to believe me, but I recommend that you do. If you don't, just keep it in the back of your head...the last flickering candle of truth. He's the Grinman. Not Cockmongler. Have some Longcat too (not Cocksucking cat).
 


 

Alternative!
 
 
For fuck's sake...

Alright, Word Of Power time. It's Cockmongler. Always has been, always will be. Not Grinman. I'm not saying this towards the trolls who've flooded this thread with Grinman shit - they've no hope already. I'm saying this for your benefit - the Anonymous onlooker. You may be new and know nothing about this yet, or you may be old and just plain ignorant. But it's not Grinman. It started a few months ago, and it's everywhere. Take it from me. It's Cockmongler. You don't have to believe me, but I recommend that you do. If you don't, just keep it in the back of your head...the last flickering candle of truth. He's the Cockmongler. Not Grinman. Have some Longcat too (not Whitecat).
 


 

Other evidence of his grinmanship (we made that word up, copyright Encyclopedia Dramatica):

 
 
I have to admit, I find the level of faggotry amongst the newbs to /b/ to be disturbing.

In the old days, this board was built upon the reputation of such memes as grinman, pedobear, and happy negro. They were legends. They were the celebrities and emotionally and sexually abusive founding fathers of our great and oh so perverse democracy.

It hurts my tearful eyes to see the stain of faggotry that these newbs who are coming to this board now are bringing with them as they change the names of the very foundation upon which this place was set.

Cockmongler? I dont' know who came up with the concept of calling grinman cockmongler, but I feel that whomever this individual is they should be anally raped by a screaming black midget named Remco. Grinman has always been grinman, and in our hearts we can know him as no other.

He likes to grin. Nuff said.

I also feel in my heart that whomever is the real person behind this photo would agree with the older members of this board. Given the choice between being known as cockmongler or grinman, I am completely reassured that he would jump up to his knees, that same nightmarish GRIN crossing his features, and showed his disgust for the term "cockmongler" by feverishly grinning.

Yours truly, Anonymous.
 


 

The Mongler Strikes Back

The Second Coming (The girl trap Joker) on his left (for you the right) could mongle my cock any day

In the year of our Raptor April 27, 2008, a few Anons at a comic-con in the land of Bagged Milk beheld the second coming of the Mongler. Two never before seen pictures of He Who Sucks Cocks were posted, spawning a massive thread on /b/ which was so undeniably epic that even the Mods could not deny its greatness, stickying it on the first page.

 
 
Sup /b/? So today was the Calgary Comic Expo. I went there with some friends, and it was pretty awesome. There were a lot of weaboos and furfags to troll, and we did so. Partway through, my friend left to go get some food, when he came back he told me he saw Cock Mongler walking around. When I went to go look I was surprised that it was in fact, Cock Mongler. While he is a little older, he informed us that he still does mongle cocks. Here's a picture I took

TL;DR Cockmongler is still lively and mongling cocks, just he's a bit older now.
 


 

—One very lucky /b/tard

Gallery

Cockmongler Sightings About missing Pics

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