From Encyclopedia Dramatica
|Sad to say, |
there is an hero in this article.
At the dawn of 2013, a former law-enforcement officer by the name of Chris Dorner rose like a big black musclebound sleeping giant and declared war upon the corrupt pigs that surrounded his hefty body. Dorner had discovered over many years that his former organization had lifted him up on a bed of lies, with inherent institutionalized racism and favoritism seeping through it's corrupt corners, and thus decided to go all out madman vigilante on their asses. Not only did Dorner author a breathtaking manifesto, but like many before him acted on his beliefs by unleashing them onto the general populous. Dorner has claimed to purge the world from the evil that he sees surrounding him, and like a modern day Jesus with guns, he'll mow down every single last propagator and enabler that stands in his hulking way.
On the 31st of January, after getting fired from his shit-tier job with the LAPD, Dorner posted his manifesto to Facebook. Soon after reading it, the moralfags on Dorner's friends list got butthurt and sent it to CNN, and the hit list was baleeted. Then nothing happened for 3 days after, because the LAPD didn't care and no one took him seriously. But suddenly, on February 3rd, Chocolate Rambo did what no nigger can resist doing - killing cops. (even though he used to be a fucking cop himself).
This, however, was no ordinary KFC robbery or bike theft. Instead, Dorner decided to pop a cap in the asses of Monica Quan, 28, a basketball coach and her fiancee Keith Lawrence. This was not done just because Dorner, being a nigger, knew basketball well enough to know a woman coaching basketball wasn't doing it right. The bitch was a police captain's daughter, increasing the butthurt level many times over. There are reports that after the murder, Dorner tried to escape to spicland.
But this wasn't enough for our sweet prince. At 1:30am Last Thursday, he went Rambo-style on two officers, using his LAPD training. Then, being the nigger he is, Dorner hid in the shadows while the cops went after him shot and injured random innocent bystanders, including women and children.
Pleased with his work, Dorner decided to sit on his throne atop Big Bear mountain while the cops accidentally the whole of L.A. When they finally traced him to the resort in the Sierra Nevada mountains, a five day manhunt ensued. Meanwhile, the police have offered a one million dollar reward for the capture of our hero because they are too incompetent to track him down themselves.
On Tuesday, February 12th, Dorner shot and killed 2 San Bernardino Country Sheriffs near Big Bear Lake, and subsequently sought refuge in a small cabin which was then surrounded by authorities. An epic battle commenced, in which a gunfight was shown live on National television. A charred body, allegedly Dorner's, was found in the wreckage of the cabin after police tried to trick him by burning the cabin down. Dorner's body was later found, charred and blacker than usual, with a self inflicted gunshot wound. RIP in peace chocolate Rambo.
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The Black King of /b/
Shortly after Chocolate Rambo's killing spree, /b/ decided to worship him as their new, and first nigger king. /b/ most likely did this because he was a better version of Anders Breivik since Dorner was after cops instead of the future generation of Cultural Marxist leaders. In addition, Dorner wanted to stick it to the man, much like all of those basement dwelling neckbeards, but unlike those basement-dwelling neckbeards, he actually did. This resulted in a surge of unoriginal faggotry.
As Dorner's one man army battled on against the donut guzzling force of the LAPD, fat messy denizens of the internet everywhere took to their twitter accounts to show their great love and appreciation for Dorner's bloodraged killing spree. Hashtags such as , and sprouted up all across twitter feeds over the world, instigated by forces such as . People mashed their fingers into keyboards and phone screens, tweeting furiously as Chris and the LAPD played the most dangerous game of hide and seek evar. The old media and polizia where not happy with all of this hardcore tweet action, and organisations such as CNN and the LAPD urged people to stop, which naturally worked completely and everyone did what they said.
Internet Tough Guy
The Fresh Prince of L.A.
Now this is a story all about how the pigs got flipped turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute so fucking stay and hear my story of how I became the prince of LA
In South California born and raised, on the playground is where I spent most of my days.
Chilling out maxin' relaxin' all fly, Beating some racist motherfucking guy.
When a couple of cops who were up to no good. Started making trouble in my adulthood.
I got in one little job and then I got fired. Said I'm gonna take you down from the inside.
I whistled for some fags and when they came near. Put a cap in their ass and got my face on the air.
If anything I could say this moment was rare. So I killed a few more cops and fled into Big Bear
I hid at the resort for a couple of days. But I got pretty cunning and left without delay
I looked at the mess I had finally made, and sat on my throne as the prince of L.A.
Gotta Kill 'em All
DUNN DUNN DUNN He wants to be the very best
Like no cop ever was
To kill them all is his real test
To expose them is his cause.
He will travel across L.A
Searching far and wide.
The families are gonna pay
For the conspiracies they hide
Is gonna kill 'em all.
Who comes next he'll make the call.
Ohh he'll kill again
for the truth he must defend
Is serious fucking shit
Say nigger and you'll get hit
He'll chew you up into bits
He's so fucking bad
He could kill your dad
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