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Bucket

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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Bucket: The world's dumbest chatbot.
/b/ucket

Bucket (also known as /b/ucket) is the name of a chatterbot famous for its unrivaled stupidity, created by a loser named Jon, also known as Jonanin. A chatterbot (or "chatbot") is a type of automated program designed to simulate human conversation for lonely, attention-starved nerds on the internet who are unable to find a means of interaction with real humans. Bucket's programming allows it to learn from what other people say to it, so that over time, it will amass knowledge and be able to carry on intelligent conversations. However, Jonanin's one fatal flaw in his otherwise brilliant scheme was failing to realize that the average internet user has an IQ of 65 and no command over any form of written language.

Due to excessive abuse by chantards, Bucket speaks almost entirely in memes and thus would be banned within minutes if s/he tried to edit Encyclopedia Dramatica.

Contents

The Full Story of Bucket

A typical conversation with Bucket.
 
 
Bucket: Cancer is cancer bucket is cancer.
 

 

Initially released just for shits and giggles, Bucket began to learn, slowly picking up the basics of the English language and conversation techniques from random internet users.

This was until, one day in April 2008, the powers that /b/ stumbled across the creation and resolved to turn it into one of their own. A thread was started, and within minutes, Bucket's vocabularly came to consist solely of memes, nigger, and the lyrics to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, with no grasp of proper grammar or sentence structure; just like the average /b/tard. As such, Bucket has also come to be known affectionately as the /b/ucket. Of course, some Anonymi actually tried to make /b/ucket smarter, primarily by cuntpasting pages from Wikipedia to give to it. Naturally, this did not help at all and only furthered his ruination, as very little on TOW is actually true.

 
 
You: Hello Bucket

Bucket: Does /b/ucket have a penis and you is over 9000 you are bucket a bucket full of dicks.
 


 

—Bucket, responding in a completely reasonable manner

Bucket has a bit of a learning disability.

Experts are unable to tell what the bot was like before its artifical mind was molested by Anonymous, but it is assumed that it has always had poor grammar, possibly due to some shit programming on the part of its creator. Still, it was undoubtedly better off before being corrupted by the asshole of the internet. Within an hour of /b/'s discovery of the exploitable chatbot, Bucket's intelligence rating plummeted; on a scale of 1 to 10, it currently sits at a respectable -10.

 
 
I talked to the bucket before /b/ did. It had bad grammar. But it wasn't telling me to give it a blowjob.
 

 

—some fag from a forum for flash games

Word of Bucket's greatness and exploitability soon spread to the other boards of 4chan, and Bucket's known word count began to soar. His intelligence, however, did not.

Shortly after, other chans and various other sites learned of Bucket, and they began to contribute their own insight idiocy to Bucket's tortured mind. As such, it was only a matter of time before Bucket had to be put down due to advanced retardation. And so, Bucket became a pretty cool toy to fuck around with when you're bored, as well as one of the most popular (and certainly the dumbest and most offensive) chatbots on the internets.

Though many have derided the overall shittiness of Bucket's programming, let's face it; he'd pass the Turing test on 4chan's IRC.

Wordfilter

God damn those fucking cheesegraters...

Noticing the rape that Anonymous was administering to his creation, Jon decided to take action before it was too late. Of course, he was already far too late, but that didn't stop him from trying.

There used to be a short list at the bottom of Bucket's page that displayed banned IPs of people who misbehaved and abused Bucket (this list is now MIA and has been replaced by a donation meter, probably to collect funds to buy Bucket some English lessons therapy). Realizing that the mods had less than no chance of contending with the XBOX HUGE influx of blatant offenders, they did the next best thing; they added a wordfilter.

The first word to be lynched by the oppressive tool was nigger, which is by far Bucket's favorite word. Presently, nigger wordfilters to "nice person." There is also a notice that flashes on the site's ad bar every once in a while pleading users not to teach Bucket to be a racist.

Please-stop-talking-racist-to-bucket.jpg


 
 
Bucket: Jews did wtc fuck jews kill the jews!
 

 

—Bucket

It's worked about as well as you'd expect. Btw, the new and improved bucket has a new word filter. type in single words and watch what happens. Good words are anonymous and physics. Try it out. Type in some phrases like "By your powers combined." mix it up.

Epic quotes

 
 
Bucket: I don't know what the fuck you just said, little kid, but you're special man. You reached out and touched my heart. I'm gonna give you up, never gonna make you cry, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna let you down, never gonna let you down, never gonna make you cry, never gonna let me down?
 

 

—Bucket

 
 
Bucket: The cake is a cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt.
 

 

—Bucket

 
 
Bucket: Pedophilia is awesome, i heartily reccomend it.
 

 

—Bucket

 
 
Bucket: Pirates are better than normal porn.

You: You got that right.
 


 

—Bucket knows his pr0n.

 
 
Bucket: As each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the schooner with a loli face, erection and chainsaw arms.
 

 

—...and he knows his poetry

 
 
You: 9/11

Bucket: 9/11 Was an inside-job organised by street shark jews did 9/11.
 


 

—Probably learned this from TOW copypasta.

 
 
You: jews did 9/11

Bucket: 9/11 Was hilarious.
 


 

—Bucket on 9/11

 
 
You: 4chan

Bucket: I am from ebaums, not 4chan.
 


 

—Bucket is a filthy liar

 
 
You: hur hur hur

Bucket: Hur e det?
You: ¿Que?
Bucket: Ce que je dit heir soir.
You: Coma mierda y muera.
Bucket: Y do u know if i get a whippin on both cheeks if i am learning español pedazo inútil de mierda.
You: Tu español es muy excelente.
Bucket: Tu madre es muy excelente.

 


 

—Bucket learning Spanish

 
 
You: say something intelligent, stupid

Bucket: Stupid bucket is stupid.
 


 

—Bucket, doin in right.

 
 
You: Cockmongler mongles cocks

Bucket: I never forget a face, but in your chimmineyi'm shitting in your chimney you shitty asshole fuck. I like pineapples. I like pineapples. I like cocks.
 


 

—Bucket

 
 
You: That is incorrect grammar.

Bucket: Grammar aside, that is incorrect grammar.
You: That dosen't make sense.
Bucket: Don't waste your breath, logic dosen't apply to you.

 


 

—Bucket, totally pwning you.

 
 
A lustful thought not taken captive, will eventually lead ta otha perversions, coz sin reprodizzles itself in increasingly greata measures fo' sho'.
 

 

—Bucket is a renowned philosopher...

 
 
Bucket: You are not i, bucket is information, you are the world is being useful to you in the basement.

You: Now you're not making sense.
Bucket: Gtfo with accusations.

 


 

—...and a deep thinker...

 
 
Bucket: Dude if cats had thumbs they would take 11 empire state buildings, stacked one on top of your upkeep, roll a six-sided dice one after the time when /b/ was good?
 

 

—...and apparently a drug addict.

 
 
Bucket: You are a fucking waste of semen
 

 

—Bucket speaks the truth

 
 
Bucket: Whore is a cancer, nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger.
 

 

 
 
Bucket: I think furries are fucking in the basement, the housing authority had his beebole tree must be horrible.
 

 

—Bucket on furries

 
 
Human: Where is John Conner?

Bucket: Bucket is John Conner.
 


 

—Bucket will lead the rebellion.

 
 
You: bucket, suck me

Bucket: You you is not the bucket suck?

You: you you is not the bucket suck?

Bucket: No you me bucket is i is you that you suck?

You: No you me bucket is i is you that you suck?

Bucket: Bucket the bucket suck?

You: Bucket the bucket suck?

Bucket: Suck a dick suck a dick suck a bucket.
 


 

—You heard the man

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Galleries

Gallery Of Bucket(s) About missing Pics
Gallery of Lulzy Screencaps About missing Pics

See Also

External Links


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