From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| This article is TL;DR.|
You can help by editing this page and removing the large blocks of boring text.
See the style guide for more information.
Thank You, America.
|Eric's Master Work about his Dad "Nila & Bill" is nao available for download. Share the links FOR SCIENCE|
Eric Gaede (also known as META Fatass) , son of Bill Gaede, is a 35-year old pseudo-intellectual YouTube nobody and professional Bluto from Popeye lookalike, whom, after viewing Encyclopedia Dramatica for the first time, decided to make a series called "Reviewing a Reviewer" which is basically a shitty version of Retsupurae, in which he hides behind forced intellectual humor to mask his overall contempt of the world and how his life went to shit. Because when you can't accept what a miserable failure you are in real life, you go to the Internet world and vent your frustrations out on a bunch of unimportant reviewers.
He became extremely butthurt when Reviewtopia (Diet TGWTG) didn't allow him to join their site, since 'he is da best reveiwer evar' with his jokes that have to do with something unrelated, exaggerated, or something that doesn't even exist in the videos he bitches about.
This is enough to keep his fanbase content, as they will just nod & agree with whatever he says. Yes, not only does Asalieri have fanboys, but he has fanboys that make the AVGN lemmings look reasonable.
Asalieri is someone who used to spend most of his time speaking his mind and giving his honest opinion towards various subjects. Now to hide his contempt towards the world and everyone that has a better life than him, his stock-in-trade these days is stirring up Internet drama and uploading worthless videos attacking Internet celebrities and video game reviewers; this, despite the fact that he never actually uploaded a video game or movie review in his whole life. Just browse through his Youtube channel to try to find one. Just don't watch his videos or you'll wind up being as lobotomized as Jack Nicholson in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest".
Due to the drama associated with 95% of his videos, this is how he gets his fans. But not just ordinary fans; fans that are as miserable and dispirited as he is. Even though he ridicules other Internet celebrities, the only things he's ever produced that's remotely remarkable is a useless review series that is a carbon copy of a far superior series.In real life, Eric is a father, in a typical low-middle class family, currently doing various odd jobs, none of which he is qualified for. You know, someone that's too old for the internet and should put his priorities on trying to find a job to support his family? When he is about to spout nonsense, he always seems to invite his only two friends who just so happen to look half Asalieri's age.
The Early Days
Not much is known about Asalieri's background apart from his father (more on that later).
Some of his first recorded shenanigans occurred on Gaia Online, under the name of Tellah (he has been confirmed to be a real RPG fantard). In typical fashion as to what would happen on YouTube when it eventually came into being, he rustled up an alchemy of yes-men, his wife, and sock puppets and went on a campaign to spread his trademark unwarranted self-importance and butthurt across the boards (Don't believe it? Click here.). His attitude resulted in the mods bringing down the banhammer on his head. Asa took the adult route of getting pissed, started up a few alts, and called Gaia a mean, poopy-headed bunch of bullies for censoring him; this would occur several times. Today, he has a number of alts: Tellah, Tellah X, TeIIah, T_llah, Asalieri, Gau of the Veldt, Relm Arrowny, and possibly OVER NINE THOUSAND! more. His little wifey also has had at least three accounts over the years as well.
What future antics will Gaede have in store for Gaia? Who knows. But until then, here is a little showcase of his escapades there:
|Gallery||About missing Pics|
Asalieri's fanbase is composed of nothing but generic 15-year-old fanboys and 20-30 year old lowlifes who still live with their moms. You know, the same kind of fanboys that Asalieri criticizes AVGN's fans for being. When they are actually involved with something Asalieri does, like a contest, they step up to show just how much they have learned from Asa by producing poor quality videos often made for the sole purpose of pissing someone off and angering other fans. They waste no time in following Asalieri's orders to spam the living shit out of channels until the person they have attacked is pretty much forced to close their YouTube account. Asalieri claims he has never ordered his fans to spam a person's channel, which is a lie. However, Asalieri has trained his fans to do it without him telling them to do so. Asalieri supporters see this as a victory, yet when Asalieri is backed into a corner, the excuse for Asalieri is that it's stupid e-drama and the person has no life. Asalieri supporters cannot understand bullshit when they see it, so when his videos finally get disliked, his fans make comments like these:
- Angry Joe
- See Also: Full Article on AVGN
- The Hardcore Kid
- See Also: Full Article on Linkara
- That Guy With The Glasses
- See Also: Full Article on That Guy With The Glasses
- Irate Gamer Sucks Blog
Known "Friends" (Until Asa no longer has a use for them)
- See Also: Full Article on Hellsing920
- The Game Boob
- Irate Gamer
- See Also: Full Article on Irate Gamer
- See Also: Full Article on XRazorFistx
- See Also: Full Article on Afr0blu3
- Stan Burdman
Shortly after Asalieri was suspended he decided to make a 9000 min long video showing how much he did not care about getting suspended on YouTube. The video features him going to a water park, and going down a water slide, only after forcing a worker there to pull his 500 pound ass to get him going. In short, if you want to make a video of you obviously not caring about your YouTube account getting suspended, do the following:
- 1. Pay 20+ dollars to go to a water park without your wife or kids. (I'm pretty sure this sounded good when Asa told his wife that he was going to a water park just to show people him not caring about drama on YouTube).
- 2. Pay 20+ dollars to get out again, because you are mistaken for a whale. (Easy mistake, really)
- 3. Upload a video showing how much of a good time you are having, even though you are slowly dying inside.
- 4. Obtain ego boost from gullible fans.
To add to the pathetic scene Asalieri decided to again show how much he didn't care about what is going on, on the internet by shouting "Screw you JFreedan!", thus discrediting everything said about him not caring about his account getting beleted.
The War Room
The War Room was a place where Asa and fanboys plotted revenge against jfreedan for baleeting Asa's first channel (Even though Asa claimed in the video that he didn't care about his channel being baleeted Eric was very much buttmad ). For more than three months they came up with many ideas including finding ways to get jfreedan in to legal trouble. While most of the ideas were conceived and executed by the fanboys asa was in full support of it.
Reviewing a Reviewer
"Reviewing a Reviewer" (or RAR for short, although it could also mean "Retard Against Reviewers") is a little original series in which Asalieri sits in front of a camera and reviews an episode of an another reviewer's show, while injecting a little humor here and there to entertain the audience. Too bad most of his episodes involve the overdone Irate Gamer and Game Dude, but of course, there's tasteless fucks that loved it. Although there are a few other reviewers he's done.
When he's not making shitty Retsupuraes or playing video games in his spare time, he also does voice acting over Final Fantasy VII for voice auditions in fan dubs, so that he can hopefully one day get himself as much 13-year-old ass as his voice acting idol, Vic Mignogna. He also enjoys making fun of kids' amateurish video game reviews (even though he's never uploaded a game review himself and probably never will in fear of being ridiculed) and plugging other reviewers' work that does not suck according to him. Only problem is that the second he promotes another JewTube nobody's work, they always turn out to be worse than whatever subject Asa would be brutally mocking during that time of the month. Even worse, when Asalieri DOES criticize a reviewer, chances are that reviewer will wind up getting more views and attention than he actually deserves. Examples include Angry Joe, Jfreedan, Spoony and Yahtzee: four people nobody would have ever heard of if it weren't for this guy plugging them in the first place.
Internet Nobody News!
After Asalieri saw his article on ED, and sulking for several hours, he came up with the brilliant idea that would put him on the top finally! He would talk about other internet nobody's! So once (every full moon) he makes news videos on other people nobody cares about in order for people to start caring about him, using other people nobody cares about! You get that? Again, this turned out to be a really stupid idea, so Asa was forced to end it and pretend it never happened in the first place.
Asa's Super Show
Asalieri decided, for an incredibly short time to create a web series special known as Asa's Super Show, which is a multi-part series which basically just adds sequels to his already existing shows, so there's nothing super about it. Here's the first video which of course involves something food related.
One View Wonders
Since Asa has had multiple strikes on his channel his has no way to monetize it until recently (now he makes tens of dollars of month with videos like "spiteful prank"). So what was Eric's solution? Create a whole new channel dedicated to the upper echelons of nobodies no one has ever heard of (with the thanks of his wet back butt buddy joeysixone). So we go from RAR which had lolcows and somewhat relevant subject matter to something that is almost unwatchable. Which is why Asa will rage quit this series in 3...2...1...
What a surprise. This episode is about food. Didn't see this coming. What's next? Gambling addicts that put there last nickle in a Michael Jackson slot machine?
Since e-fame is slowly slipping from Eric's fat fingertips his videos are progressively getting lazier and lazier in quality. Thus the idea of "You Yarn" which Eric plans on making a weekly series. A combination of Masterpaint Theatre and "Whose Line is it Anyway?" where Asa takes ideas from his audience and has them come up with ideas for the video and draws the pictures for Eric. The only thing they don't do is wipe the mayonnaise from his lips when he puts down his Crisco sandwich as all he does is copy and paste pictures in to power director and does some sort of uninspired story that he'll pull out of his ass.
Previous Video | Next Video
The second trimester aborted fetus will manifest itself soon.
When TGWTG created the eSults video, the Arizona housecow got super mad, due to never thinking of the idea, and decided to write his own unoriginal version called E-Mpathy, yet another one of Asalieri's ill-fated attempts to stir drama and get more attention. In E-Mpathy, Asalieri shows viewers (and I shit you not) how to be nice to the person you want to address on the Internet, which is so fucking hysterically ironic in light of Asa's actions over the past few years. Unfortunately, Asalieri's feeble attempt to teach users about courtesy and kindness is a failure from the start, since anyone who has watched any of his content recently will realize how much of giant piece of shit he really is. Keep making a fool out of yourself, Eric. Your stupidity has now become our source of entertainment.
Previous Video | Next Video
|Hypocrisy||About missing Pics|
Other Bitch fits
On rare occasions Asalieri tries to start drama that doesn't have much to do with gaming. When this happens he usually has to receive help from other internet nobodies in order to stand a fighting chance and to deplete all of his self-contempt.
The Stalking of TKyle212
After YouTube user and former friend of Asalieri, TKyle212 made a video realizing that most of the information in the Encyclopedia Dramatica article was true, TKyle kicked Asalieri to the curb, even after he apparently helped Asalieri start monetizing his videos again due to Asalieri being IP Blocked by Google(?). This however did not sit well with Asa. He proceeded to have a bitch fit in the comments section, full to the brim with his own drooling fanboys to back him up, in an attempt to prove he was a happy and kind person. The result was 30 minutes of him crying that he had done so much for TKyle (Nothing) and that he did not understand why a person would not like a stuck up, egocentric, narcissistic, obsessive drama whore like himself. TKyle, having been finally released from the Matrix realized that Asalieri was quite sick in the head. Asalieri later on PROVED this point by spamming phone calls and voice messages for almost twenty minutes. He even went and sat outside Kyle's house for an undetermined amount of time. Even after all of this Asa's fans still felt Asa was in the right. Quite frankly the most pathetic and insane fanbase ever on YouTube.
Previous Video | Next Video
In the comments section of his channel, Asalieri claimed that he took all of videos featuring Kyle down out of respect for him. In reality, the purpose of this action was covering his own ass, because what he did in the past with his ex-friend is really ironic. They made a video called: "Stalker Story - A Madman's Tall Tale" and tried to reenact a story made up by arcadeic, in which he was explaining his reasons for taking down one of Asa's videos. Not wanting to look like an idiot in other people's eyes (which he already does), he decided to quickly remove this video along with the others. The similarities between real stalking of Kyle and the "parody" one are hilarious. Even Kyle laughs at the fatass himself.
Later in the week, Asa would turn around and delete all his comments in an uncontrollable fit of butthurt denial. In Asa's mind, if he deletes something, it never happened. Unfortunately for him, reality and his thought process are two very different things, and Asa's entire assrage induced sissy fit was capped.
|The Stalker Gallery||About missing Pics|
Scathing Evidence PROVING that AVGN pocketed tons of money!
On April 15th, 2012, Asalieri uploaded a video of poorly researched content, rivaling that of the Irate Gamer. In said video Asalieri shows a comment he made saying he was going to laugh and say I told you so to all the AVGN fanboys once he found out that the AVGN pocked extra cash for his movie. So what evidence could be so epic that NOBODY could deny it's legitimacy!? A screenshot of the IMDB page for AVGN The Movie, showing the estimated Budget for the movie, 185,000 dollars. Oh you expected more? No that is it, kudos plz! Asalieri wasted no time rushing to film a video and post it on YouTube for all of his idiot fans to look at and spread all over the internets. What Asalieri didn't show was the process for adding movies to the database, and not mentioning it is almost like the Wikipedia of movies. If a movie is even rumored to be made, it can be added to IMDB. The AVGN stated that the page was fake, which Asalieri obviously ignored.
Of course, the majority of viewers, some who weren't even AVGN fans, criticized Asalieri for making a shoddy video. Sure enough, Asalieri, like the mark that he is cause he needs attention, replied to nearly every single negative comment with retarded remarks and jokes like counting the number of times someone made fun of his weight and pubic hair under his chin. Now you would think Asalieri, who's also a father and a husband, would have better things to do in his life than reply to comments ALL DAY like a lolcow. But then again, this is the same guy who tried to have Jfreedan's partnership program revoked by sending his fans to spam his videos, so, yeah, this guy truly has no life.
Then to add insult to injury, fellow brown noser SkyblueMonty took to task to criticize these people for not accepting criticism, failing to realize that when Asalieri posted this video on the Internet, a public domain, he opened himself to everybody's opinions. What these dumbasses like Skybluemonty fail to realize is that Asalieri was heavily criticized, not because he had a negative opinion on AVGN, but because he made a shitty video to stir drama and get more views and, on top of all that, used an editable website (IMDB) to back up his ridiculous arguments. Of course, Skybluemonty, like Razorfist, will forsake common sense to defend Asalieri due to the fact that he's his friend, living proof that one should never underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers.
As of October 2013, Asalieri STILL has not provided any real evidence that the AVGN is scamming people’s money. Just like how he never uploaded that AVGN/Irate Gamer comparison video like he promised, Asalieri (or any of his mindless friends and followers) has yet to show any real proof that James Rolfe is screwing fans out of cash. In fact, the whole "AVGN Scamming Money" B.S. has been largely forgotten now, just like most of the worthless junk made by this two-bit gravy dumpster.
The funny thing, that Asa doesn't realize, is that $185,000 is not a lot when it comes to movies. There is camera lease (Panasonic AG-AF100 is not a cheap camera, nor is the HVX-200). There is catering, transport, dolly, tripods, lenses, insurance, fuel, various equipment, lighting rental, sound recording, generator rental, P2 card rental, SDXC card rental, car rental, editing, color-grading, distribution, PR, and much more and then we haven't even factored in that anyone of these idiots working on the movie should be paid. From all this we can gather that Asa does no research, just like his daddy, when he tries to disprove maths.
Asalieri is "poor" and E-begs
Eric loves to brag about how poor he is yet there is plenty of evidence which points to the contrary. For example he lives in a middle class suburban neighborhood where the home prices go for around $200,000. Yeah, poor people in teh ghetto all live in a 2.265 sq. ft house with three bathrooms. Here is a short list of things that contradicts Asa's "Humble" lifestyle.
- Always travels internationally at least once a year. He was in Germany not so long ago. He also showed in a RAR that he was in Scotland a few years before that. You know affordable destinations that all the poor people go to. He is also planing a trip to Argentina soon.
- Has money to blow at casinos.
- Has a gym membership. (The lulzy thing is he uploaded a video of him working out then a few days later when he shaved half his beard seeking even moar attention he was getting donuts in teh supermarket.)
- Always seem to have plenty of booze & marijuana on hand.
- Always has good food to eat (giggle)
- etc. blah, blah, blah.
The reason he repeats this is fairly obvious as gullible fanboys buy his Truco cards & Pearler art and in some cases gives him money. For example Asa baited his fans by driving home and a ad for a Mexican restaurant happened to be on his door. Not even 24 hours later Afr0blu3 had sent him some money and of course Asa being the attention whore that he is made a video about his experience (See Asa's Super Show). He's also received consoles & games from his fans all of which now resides in the middle of a slot machine. It's funny how this guy complains about AVGN supposedly "e-begging", when he himself e-begged for a laptop.
Here are some examples on how Asa baits his "fans":
Previous Video | Next Video
Asa, aware of the fact that he's getting exposed, decided to remove aforementioned videos. Fortunately, we reuploaded most of them to deepen his butthurt.
Update - It has just been confirmed by Kyle that Eric is a welfare queen.
Eric is married to the lovely Randi. They have two kids. One a is a aspie and the other is a loud annoying obnoxious brat who is following in her father's footsteps of becoming the interwebs next great attention whore. Asa really loves his kids which is why he would rather spend his time getting raped by Indian Casinos and spending most of his waking life online. He might (emphasize might) spend one or two minutes a day searching for a job.
Randi Bellamy-Gaede (A.K.A. Teh Wife)
Randi is Asa's wife. You would think since she was married to the greatest man in teh youtubez that her life was bubble gum and lollipops but she is a miserable jobless housewife that makes craptastic pearler art. she also has a huge chubby for Final Fantasy & JRPGs in general. She also faps her lady penis to My Little Pony.
In addition to wearing the pants in the family she is just a moody bitch.
FACT: Did you know Randi has been PMSing since 1996. (Teh Moar u no)
Eric has had a Argentinian style ass full of Randi's bad case of emoism. Asa not having a modicum of taste or tact posted his feelings on facebook for the world to see. I mean don't tell her how you feel in person. How drama queen of him. O_o
Typical parenting from Randi
For some reason there are plenty of trolls left on Eric's Facebook page which made it really easy for me to find videos of his kids first day at Mrs. Collins kindergarten class at Pioneer Elementary School. He probably didn't upload this to youtube for fear he might get negative comments, so we helped him out with that. That or his little girl going to class doesn't make as much as him bitching about some pseudo internet celebrity. Despite not wanting his DOX on ED he always seems to post any and everything to Facebook to give his so called "Detractors" more ammo to use against him.
Previous Video | Next Video
Bill Gaede (Father)
As mentioned in the Jfreedan section, Bill is Asa's father and a convicted spy. These days though he is best known for coming up with conspiracy theories that would make Francis E. Dec, Esq. green with envy. Like Eric, Bill has a tremendous delusional ego and is convinced that he has the answers to fucking everything. Like any normal nut he has his usual crackpot theories including that 9-11 was a inside job (Probably done by ravenous blood thirsty jews).
- "sane" youtube channel - Bill's
- http://www.youstupidrelativist.com - Bill's "rational" website where he belittles you for not being as "smart" as him.
- http://www.youstupidrelativist.com/Ridicule/01Rid.html - a link Bill sends you when you don't tell him how sane, rational and smart he is.
- You Stupid Relativist - ED's page about Bill
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BbMGK2khtI - Asalieri's first video ever made, in which he praises his father for being a criminal and promotes his book.
In early 2013 the Gaede family got together to make the most profound video of all time. In the "music video" Bill discusses why physics should be debunked as a science and why Albert Einstein was a lying cunt. He also spends 20 minutes fapping his old man wiener on camera (He never achieved an erection unfortunately). The lulzy part is there is no blues in this song even though that is in the title. Instead we hear 3 dogs dragging their asses on the carpet howling in pain. The video itself makes very little sense and has almost no continuity in moments which is lulzy considering that Eric directed it. He makes many derpy technical mistakes including green screen errors the only thing that makes it even lulzier is his failed acting his so called forte. It makes you wonder if Eric got his BFA from a grab bag.
BEHOLD! The collective intelligence and talent of the GAYED family. A tour de force. XD
Greg Gaede is the only Gaede who decided to throw away his life on developing shitty videogames.
069 33 99 71 91
Born 13th November 1987
Nila Gaede is the reason why we have the waste of cells known as Asalieri. If she could just keep her whore legs shut, we wouldn't have this fat problem.
1811 S 39th StUnit 78
The Gaede Family Photo Album
|Precious Memories||About missing Pics|
Encyclopedia Dramatica Raid!
After reading his article on ED, and blaming everybody he ever knew for being the one who wrote it, Asalieri decided to make an attempt to use ED as his own personal army and draw more attention to JFreedan's page by spamming JFreedans name on every Sex page on the internet, and adding some insults and references to him on every gaming page. Needless to say it was pretty much copypasta from his META Busy Street articles which he has now hidden or deleted. It is also safe to say he is responsible for 99% of the butthurt content on the TGWTG and James Rolfe pages. The butthurt is strong with this one.
How to check and see if Asalieri or one of his fans have edited an Encyclopedia Dramatica page:
- See if someone has referenced YouTube nobodies like, MartialHorror, TGWTG Video Makers, JFreedan, The Irate Gamer, Alexander4488 aka Game Dude, Retrogamer3, or any other person only Asalieri would care about on any gaming page.
- See if the names listed above are spammed on every gaming page on ED
- Check if Asalieri's name is given in the history of any semi famous Game Reviewer,with the reviewer "owned, but quit/gave up/made a truce" This is how Asalieri stops people from thinking it is him. Can't go pretending you are god or that would make it too obvious.
- On said pages check to see if someone is complaining about stupid shit only those in the slums of Youtube would care about.
- Overall butthurt.
This subject has been sloppy at covering their tracks and has left a trail of public information for Doxbin's specially trained team of e-detectives.
Someone Put Up A Craigslist Ad For Eric
August 31 2013 will be a day that will go down in infamy for Asalieri, for upon that day, Internet nobody and Autism poster-boy Starwind3437 decided to go 21st century on the old "ordering loads of pizzas to someone's house" prank, by posting the following Craigslist advert attached with Asa's address...
—Anonymous Craigslist advert.
Of course, people flocked to the house of meta-fatass, for free games, and a chance to molest the dead child like flies to shit. Unfortunately there were no free games, and you were not allowed to molest his daughters, as Eric was busy with that himself.
Strangely, rather than not let trolls think they won in this epic (albeit rather shitty) prank and never mention it. Eric decided to hand the trolls the results like a giant golden trolling trophy and post the events to his YouTube channel.
You could say he did it for the JewGold in ad revenue and he hoped it would go viral (*spoiler* No, it didn't), but Asa loves to bitch how much shit trolls have on him, when he practically gorges them on useable material by posting his details and information on any public forum available to him, You never know what to think goes on in that coconut of his!
Also, he blamed ED for this event. As whenever ANYTHING goes wrong in his life, ED is to blame!
In the comments section of Eric's pity party video he claimed he narrowed the suspects to two people on Facebook who were friends with him and his wife. Eric thinks he's rid the trolls and all is back to normal on Facebook. The lulzy part of course is he's completely wrong (as usual) and as proof Here is a pic that was snagged from his page.
As known, it seems that eric has some criminal charges against him, what's even more ironic is how he said before that he's not a criminal.
Asalieri Image Gallery (NEW vids)
Previous Video | Next Video
|Gallery||About missing Pics|
- Communist - His father at least, but he follows in his footsteps quite well.
- Video game reviewers
- YouTube Commentaries
- Youtube nobody
- - His Youtube Channel
- Buttmad Note about Germany. - His Facebook. Read his
- - His other Facebook.
- - His Pissed Jose Channel
- - His Twitter account. You can see some of his attempts to "befriend" his nemesis
- - His DeviantArt account (notice that some of his lackeys are watching him)
- - Secondary livejournal account
- - His pathetic Gaia Online character.
- http://asalieri.com/ - His attempted website. Suspended
- - Wiki on Daddy's spying
- - His father's Youtube Channel
Asalieri Subpage Navigation
is part of a series on
Taking Down ED
|Featured article June 20 & 21, 2013|
| Preceded by|
|Asalieri|| Succeeded by|