From Encyclopedia Dramatica
THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ.
THEY GOT TIRED OF PLAYING SOLO
Anarchy Online is considered the worst sci-fi MMORPG evar made. It was made like eight or so years ago by Funcom, who are located in Norway. This game's original gameplay featured people running around doing mission after mission. The missions were internal and generated randomly. People found this very boring so they released dungons to go along with this boring game. Eventually they released a "booster pack" which in short means a patch you pay for. This allowed for people not just to PvP, but to attack some stupid towers that gave Orgs (see guilds) speacial bonuses no one needs. Orgs are part of the Clan or Omni faction, or you can be a gay neutral fence sitting faggot and not join a faction. There were three servers at launch RK1: Atlantean, RK2: Rimor, and a German server, RK3:
Die Neue Welt Das Dritte Reich,. The three servers from launch are now merged into a single server, the German server being the first to die off.
All in all, this game is really stupid. People who still play it have been playing it from launch and don't know better. The max level was 200, but with the Shadowlands expansion pack, you get 20 shadowlevels which are like Funcom's way of saying "fuck you". The Shadowlands expansion also is less sci-fi and instead all its content is taken straight from WoW and EQ. Then they gave us 30 alien levels with the "alien invasions" exp. which allows you to ask aliens to attack you, they never randomly invaide you, at all. Then when World of Warcraft came out, everyone left Anarchy Online, making Funcom get butthurt. They released an expansion called Lost Eden which consisted of more overpowered weapons, more to whine about and a "Battlestation" which is a large scaling instance based PvP zone. Its layout never changes (it is fun 5 times?) where everyone else is better than you. With all the fail in the game, many people have left.
While the game is ancient, it still gives the player many different ways to make his character unique. You can choose from a variety of high-tech implants to boost skills you suck at, like chest, wrist and other boring shit. It really is complex, so here is a link to a equipment configuration site (Auno.org). The armor in the game looks horrible and Funcom had to introduce a shitty "social tab", which is just another tab page you have to keep up with in your equip menu as if implants, armor, weapons didn't block it up enough, so that you can appear as wearing nothing but a thong on your grey mutant weirdo.
AtroxUni-sex breed you can choose who is GRRRR strong.
This breed is great for:
- Nano Physicist
Skills to level up as Atrox:
This breed is great for:
- Martial Artist
Skills to up as Nanomage:
OpifexFor people who think they are original.
This breed is great for:
Skills to up as Opifex:
Solitus (Human)Speaks for itself...
This breed is great for:
Skills to up as Solitus:
- Adventurer - This class can be an animal. They have different cat forms, wolf form, dragon form, and tree form. Popular with closet furries.
- Agent - They can hide from everything. They can also cosplay the doctor, and heal while doing decent damage. They can also trap melee classes for easy ganking. In fact, this is one of the gank classes, so if you play it you are most likely a pussy because you can only shoot and run away.
- Bureaucrat - They're really lame to play, all they do is charm shitty NPCs and whine. Besides increasing the amount of XP you get from punching the same guy over and over, and few lame area buffs, everything else is crowd control. (Because people loves to play a character who's only ability is to prevent someone else from moving.)
- Doctor - They have the ability to heal and do no damage. They never die and nevar kill. Don't attack these. Or else you will probably end up fighting until someone finally decides to divide by zero.
- Enforcer - Big and strong, but they are melee, so most of the time you get "you are not close enough to attack" spamming your screen.
- Engineer - A gay pet class no one plays. Engineers are also known to be the makers of "crab" and are also known as "tradeskilling monkeys".
- Fixer - Fast, ranged, and can stun people. People would usually get bored of this class if they didn't get fixer grid, which somehow makes this class fun.
- Keeper - Came out with Shadowlands. They have amazing damage and health. Their perk attacks are the best. They get auras that enable them to EVERYTHING and used to be unkillable. Not anymore, fuckers!
- Martial Artist - 50000 years into the future and you are using your fists. i think Martial Artist is a pretty cool guy, eh uses his fists against guns and doesn't afraid of anything.
- Metaphysicist - Another gimpy pet class. Who cares?
- Nano Technician - A class you will never see because you will be dead when there's one nearby.
- Shade -
This class is basically Agent except no rifle, but with butter knives, leaves, and shit. Dies very fast. They also have terrible armor. However, their new nanos do give them a fighting chance, almost as much as Dusty had against Glenn.Received lots of new items and nanos, they are now extremely over powered.
- Soldier - This class gets the best things in the game. It's really the most overpowered character in any MMO until a Trader with BR reflect drains you, or a NT with reflect bypassing nukes pumps you, or the engi runs up and hugs you and splashes NSD all over your face like mayo makeup. Really funny to watch Esquobar tear his opponents new holes, running around lol'n at all the /tears that follow when he takes down 4 people at once.
- Trader - He drains the life from you making you a pathetic pile of shit. Traders are a sort of parasitic leech who sometimes help a poor guy to equip a new sword before complaining about not getting any tip. They fill two important functions in the game: First, they are a poor excuse when a developer screws up and make another class too strong by receiving an ability to completely destroy said class. Then, they make everyone's life miserable by stealing their health, armor, evasion, skills, energy, shields, and virginity before rooting them. Sometimes a trader feels sorry for you and shoot you in the face with a shotgun.
|The AO Classes||About missing Pics|
They own just about everything in AO's world of Rubi-Ka. Most players go with them because they will get the upper-hand.
- The Clans
The rebel faction, they fight with Omni-Tek for the control of Rubi-Ka and freedom! Too bad they suck.
They form alliances with Omni-Tek when they are not sitting on the fence, undecided. They are the 1 in 10 that don't know who to vote for.
Well, since the game lacked a raid system since... forever, the people of Anarchy Online were forced to create their own raid system. Vhab bot was born, or vhabot, hellcom, or whatever the fuck, and it makes loads of different bots which allowed people to join the raid, roll for items, chat and such. Items that were noDrop (can't be traded) were distributed by buying the loot rights with "point" which you get for doing multiply raids. 1 raid usually got you 7 points, and it takes 600 to get anything good. Making gear take forever, and lots of ninja-looting (taking things and then leaving) and drama spout from this. There is a forum you must use to apply to be allowed to raid. Clan and omni had different raid bots.
UPDATE: The URL to this article was posted on the vhabot forums. These are the reactions!
When the game was released the patches were sporadic, and while scarce they did actually fix some shit. Lately (as in the past 3 years of this game) patches are used to break the game. Patches can be rated from 10 to 1, 10 being crap patch but fixing some shit while breaking some other to 1, meaning they will break a lot of shit, add a lot of crap nobody will use, and you'll have to pay for it. As of late, "1" means a booster or an expansion pack.
On average, a patch breaks 3 things per stuff it fixes, so each shitty patch tends to have exponential bug adding, and sometimes not fixing anything and only adding bugs (Funcom team calls these "features"). Also know as the infamous GM term "Working as intended", when that's big fat fucking lie.
In 2009, Funcom did another shitty patch, as expected it fucking sucked. But this time they surpased themselves and fucked so bad they had to do a rollback. Here's the official word! AO players even get very outraged by this.
Free To Play
With the death of the game near about 4 years ago, Funcom decided to make the original (no expansions) game free. You are just lagged up by ads from time to time in order to play for free. They later allowed people the Notumn Wars "booster pack" for free along with the original version. Goddamn.
Recently Anarchy Online obtained a paid point system. This allows people to purchase items in-game for real-money. It's Failcom's newest way in sucking all the money from their old pile of shit. They clam these items are for fun only, and create no in-game advantage. Three of these items were originally items given to people for pre-ordering expansions. Instead of keeping them to the 1337 oldfags they give them to newfags for money. Hurray!
Items Purchased through Paid Points:
- Phasefronts (Holy fucking shit, hovercars!)
- Hoverboards (Skateboards of the future, only vehicle allowed in shadowlands = advantage)
- Leet pets (Summon your very own bat or something.)
- Luxury Apartment (Biggest personal home in-game = advantage for epeen RP fags.)
- Lost Eden Special Edition Mech (Really sucks and doesn't do anything.)
- Clothes (Cowboy suit anyone? Great for fags!)
With rapid amounts of people dropping their subscription butthurt Funcom decided to try and take every last penny they could from their current subscribers. Now you can play real-world currency for +20% xp for a span of a few hours. You can also buy clothes and decorations. It is important to note that this is a completely different system than paid points, meaning the game now has two major ways to Jew you out of money
Legacy Of The Xan
Funcom is now giving up on full expansions, instead, releasing content packs for 19.95 USD/EURO. Legacy of the Xan is the first of these, and was released instead of the much-anticipated graphics update. This pack is content for max level characters (220) only. It, in a nutshell, is an area where you kill the same boring stuff, then fight another big boss. Forgetting that most people would probably never be able to get on the highest implant in the game, they released even higher-leveled implants. Hurray!
Some guys in a clan got butthurt at some noob trying to boss them around. Toboexxx, a clan member on RK1, is one the dumbest humans alive. He bugged PvP raidbot admins about being a leader until he was finally put in charge of gathering low level players and sending them to the battlefield. He went power crazy. So people got annoyed and started showing him his own stupidity by quoting him. He also made his own org (guild) over and over. (Currently, it could be Striking Fear.) Here are some funnies from people in his org or himself.
[Clan shopping 1-50] Toboexxx: wth tradeskiller to make ql 300 control towers pst [Clan shopping 1-50] Makeshiz: 255 is highest CT possible in game, noobcakes
[Storm] Lusthorne: if only tobo were here, he could calculate this for me with the greatest of speed
[Toboexxx]: joo got one chance to not be a dick To [Toboexxx]: i'm in BS. wtf do you want. [Toboexxx]: we got a very good team albtraum. our doc keepsa going ld. Im going to give you a chance to get some phatz here PROVIDING you dont be mean To [Toboexxx]: Suck My Balls you effing noob. i have all phatz from alba.. maybe if you didn't think you were some sort of uber god (you're an idiot).. you would actually have respected people teaming with you.. versus you paying off teammates with /asskissing. [Toboexxx]: blew your chance bai
lol @ toboe groupies
[Shaguar]: u r clanar and u r playing with omni .. [Shaguar]: retard clanar To [Shaguar]: OMG NO WAI?? [Shaguar]: OMG FUCK YOU To [Shaguar]: lol wut? [Shaguar]: To [Mcbtj]: OMG FUCK YOU To [Mcbtj]: OMG FUCK YOU To [Mcbtj]: OMG FUCK YOU To [Mcbtj]: OMG FUCK YOU To [Shaguar]: um? To [Shaguar]: past your bedtime? [Shaguar]: stupid noob To [Shaguar]: QQ /wrist /linkinpark more To [Shaguar]: who the hell are you and what the hell is your problem? [Shaguar]: my problem is you [Shaguar]: OMNi at oa grid and u play with them [Shaguar]: kill them stupid clanar [Shaguar]: delete your char and roll an omni To [Shaguar]: lol you're toboe aren't you? [Shaguar]: i`m our mother To [Shaguar]: if all clanners were like you I would To [Shaguar]: "our"? To [Shaguar]: so why don't you come kill them? To [Shaguar]: well? Shaguar is offline, message has been buffered.
They showed some screen shots of a new engine. However, they have failed to update the site in some time now.
—- AO Fanboi on the forums
Update (May 8, 2009): Still no graphics updates. While there have been worthless bug fix patches, and a paid point program released, there hasn't been a single announcement of the graphics update in 2009 to this date.
Update (May 12, 2010): Still no graphics update! Their official site only has one post from 2010 and that is "ANARCHY ONLINE VOTED FOR TOP 8 BEST F2P MMO'S BY GAMES RADAR!" They're getting pretty desperate when they're excited about being one of the top (not THE TOP) free MMO's. One of their recent patches, patch 18.3.4, it boasted in the update notes "ICC Peacekeepers have some new flashy outfits for a new flashy year." Seems like this game wont be around for much longer.
Update (November 12, 2012): No engine, but there is now an in-game store where you pay real money for xp boosts, buffs, and social items!
Atlantean (server 1) Exposed
[Thesteez]: your the sploit agent arent you? To [Thesteez]: ? [Thesteez]: exsploits To [Thesteez]: I know what you mean by sploit ... I m wondering why your are calling me ... [Thesteez]: you sploited, to get crit every hit, and AS caps all the time To [Thesteez]: if it's during 4 secondes every 10 minutes, yes To [Thesteez]: it's called concentration ... [Thesteez]: I have a 220 agent, I know what it is... but you crit every time, even without it To [Thesteez]: you, you re Fatchance ) [Thesteez]: yea [Thesteez]: To [Thesteez]: hehe To [Thesteez]: you know what, I ve seen you recently... with my lvl 94 ... and re-crited you
PETA would love this
Technomarine: damn dog shit all over my house Technomarine: wife has a yorkshire terrier little rat fucker who shits in my house Technomarine: im this close to throwing her dog out my damn window Technomarine: hes like 3 lbs too Technomarine: i just wanna step on him
They hate gays
[Clan OOC] Kaimuchiha: that was gay [Clan OOC] Phylicity: how dare you! [Clan OOC] Zanforce: what was gay? [Clan OOC] Kaimuchiha: i mean my duel [Clan OOC] Muraco: duel with trader [Clan OOC] Phylicity: use another word to describe your distaste you homophobic cretin! [Clan OOC] Muraco: O.o [Clan OOC] Zanforce: lol [Clan OOC] Kaimuchiha: ok? [Clan OOC] Gleereaper: Lol [Clan OOC] Kaimuchiha: lol [Clan OOC] Phylicity: im serious! [Clan OOC] Zanforce: so you are gay! [Clan OOC] Phylicity: you wanna upset the gay community?! [Clan OOC] Zanforce: hmm.. [Clan OOC] Sweetcherry: yush [Clan OOC] Phylicity: thats a really bad idea btw... they'll do you in the ass [Clan OOC] Thantori: LOLZ [Clan OOC] Zanforce: no then they'il come and hit me whit theyr leather [Clan OOC] Zanforce: leather wips [Clan OOC] Fredlocks: with no lube [Clan OOC] Zanforce: eukk [Clan OOC] Phylicity: moral of this ooc convo? dont use gay as an adjective, or you wont be able to sit down or poop correctly for a week.
[Forsaken] Gronothlis: i wonder wheres my shroud of darkest nite is [Forsaken] Grafter: in the closet with your homosexuality? [Forsaken] Grafter: <3 [Forsaken] Gronothlis: nah that homosexuality is so 2006, i rather have sex wich animals [Forsaken] Grafter: omw to oa [Forsaken] Gronothlis: male ones tho [Forsaken] Benassi: ooooh [Forsaken] Gronothlis: except doing cow into nose <3 [Forsaken] Benassi: o.O [Forsaken] Gronothlis: so it lewks meh from balls on same time! [Forsaken] Grafter: hahahahah [Forsaken] Benassi: GRAV IS A FREAK
[Team] Phylicity: Its ok Thecrowalt1, i'll spam heals like you spammed Byfour chatgroup [Team] Thecrowalt1: here ......SPAM.......................................................... ......SPAM.......................................................... ......SPAM.......................................................... ......SPAM.......................................................... ......SPAM.......................................................... ......SPAM.......................................................... ......SPAM.......................................................... ......SPAM.......................................................... ......SPAM.......................................................... ......SPAM.......................................................... ......SPAM.......................................................... ......SPAM.......................................................... [Team] Thecrowalt1: like that? [Team] Thecrowalt1: :p [Team] Phylicity: yeah.... [Team] Phylicity: except my heals arent that big. [Team] Thekicker: pls not again :p [Team] Thecrowalt1: no problem [Team] Thecrowalt1: Orders From Crow! _________________________________________ Clean my car! _________________________________________ [Team] Phylicity: lol? no. [Team] Knyffen: Im a bit bugged, I dont see thecrow in my team [Team] Phylicity: then you are a lucky lucky person [Team] Thekicker: give me lead again top [Team] Thekicker: rofl [Team] Knyffen: woohoo ya
Crow at it again
[Thecrowalt1]: yooo dawg To [Thecrowalt1]: o.0 [Thecrowalt1]: i like to eat the talking babies because they cry when it hurts To [Thecrowalt1]: 0.o
[Storm] Remedie: Going to raid my husband's pants.. cya later [Storm] Stormbot: Remedie logged off [Storm] Scandium: O_O [Storm] Kinkstaah: she'll wipe
[Ghostness]: aren't you an omni? To [Ghostness]: yeah [Ghostness]: then....why did you kill me? To [Ghostness]: cause you were flagged [Ghostness]: so...you kill other omnis? To [Ghostness]: ... To [Ghostness]: Did you figure that out by yourself? [Ghostness]: ur a retard....byes
To [Aakedoc]: How long left on flag ? [Aakedoc]: zods? To [Aakedoc]: How...long...left...on...flag? [Aakedoc]: pls invite me [Aakedoc]: no [Aakedoc]: pls join me To [Aakedoc]: How long left on the flag? [Aakedoc]: i no To [Aakedoc]: You're not joining if you're flagged [Aakedoc]: yes [Aakedoc]: Kbeast will go to this window? To [Aakedoc]: klingon? To [Aakedoc]: Don't go wth the raidforce To [Aakedoc]: Capish? [Aakedoc]: yes [Aakedoc]: pls join me team To [Aakedoc]: no [Aakedoc]: way what? To [Aakedoc]: Because ur flagged ffs, listen [Aakedoc]: oh
Many players have this same reasonable argument.
- parts missing, did not screencap everything
Scottyg2: a little add kid is no match for me Exexutioner4: and bipolar Scottyg2: im sure Exexutioner4: i get hyper then sad then hyperagin Scottyg2: i guess your also in a wheelchair and have never walked in your lfie too? Exexutioner4: no bu i do have a fake leg Exexutioner4: but Scottyg2: your more full of crap than a southern bathroom Exexutioner4: sthut the fuick up bsatard Scottyg2: id love to but you see Exexutioner4: ur a lying sack of bull shit Scottyg2: i have this disease where i cant stop talkign Scottyg2: and i have a fake arm Scottyg2: and a fake nose and i have cancer of my eye Exexutioner4: well good 4 u ass wipe Exexutioner4: u are a lying sack of shit Scottyg2: and you arent? Scottyg2: and last time i checked sacks of crap cant ly Exexutioner4: noppe i do have proteses on my righ leg Exexutioner4: with dymand backs on it Exexutioner4: the team Scottyg2: dude... you just blew it in2 different palces there Exexutioner4: so fuck off Exexutioner4: i am a cripple ok make u happy were do u live Exexutioner4: i will blow ur head off Scottyg2: im sure Exexutioner4: i will u fucker form burning shit hell Exexutioner4: u died last night i recall in a burning blaze Scottyg2: ok. i have no idea what you jsut said so ill put a pancake ont his bunnies head Exexutioner4: i saw u on that mission i was hack ur comp Scottyg2: lol! Scottyg2: lol... omg you just owned yourself there Exexutioner4: and the hack was my first lie this intueier thing Exexutioner4: intier Scottyg2: fine. if your suck a uber hacker whats ym ip? Exexutioner4: and i type too fast so i spell bad Scottyg2: just stop it. youve ran past the brick wall Exexutioner4: and i lied opn the hacking i said Exexutioner4: my first one Exexutioner4: on Scottyg2: youre first lie?! omg... you are crackign em up Exexutioner4: die fucker Exexutioner4: of this conversation u shipshijt Scottyg2: id like to.. but oyu see... my cacnerous eye wouldnt liek it if i died Exexutioner4: quit lying Exexutioner4: u make me laugh u wad of shit Scottyg2: im sure Exexutioner4: now die or i will kil u Exexutioner4: so were do u live Scottyg2: woudlnt both have the same result? Exexutioner4: i want to kill u Scottyg2 i live near timmerman airport in wisconsin. find me Exexutioner4: OK DEAL Exexutioner4: i wil;l fly in tommorw or and a few days Exexutioner4: so happy livng while u can Scottyg2: fly in? where do you get the money mr bipoleraddd12yearold? Altashheth: will the two of u just shut up please Exexutioner4: i'm 15 Exexutioner4: and i will rob my dad dipshit Activity: Seriously, Ex, Scott, you guys are starting to piss me off Exexutioner4: year mopre to kill Exexutioner4: o talk shit about my act i want more people to kill Exexutioner4: so please talk shit act Altashheth: jezz boot him off the channel somebody Exexutioner4: i ant to kill u all Exexutioner4: want Scottyg2: exexutioner you couldnt kill someone in a game even if you tried Activity: I'm not saying anything about you dude >_O I hardly know you. All I know is that you are pissed off and you guys are having a little hissy fit Exexutioner4: i mean real life bastard named fred Scottyg2: if you cant aim ina game whatd make the different in real life?Exexutioner4: ever heard of knive shit wad Scottyg2: ah yes. i ahve liek 10 of them. welcome to my world Exexutioner4: thank u fucker
Exexutioner4: so i dont care Exexutioner4: i psaly out of bordaom Exexutioner4: *play i wouln't care just make new acount new email Activity: Ever hear of an IP ban? Activity: I'm not sending it into the Arks Exexutioner4: so kill ur self scotty or i will kill u
Exexutioner4: now die Exexutioner4: i will kill u all Activity: How about, now stfu Exexutioner4: !kil
Exexutioner4: yep its not online Exexutioner4: !kick activity Exexutioner4: damn forgot not online Activity: Why are you trying to kick me? Exexutioner4: because i can
Exexutioner4: and istn't a scotty a dog so die stupid dog
Exexutioner4 kicked Edinakia from your organization. Edinakia has joined your organization. Exexutioner4 kicked Edinakia from your organization. Edinakia has joined your organization. Exexutioner4 kicked Edinakia from your organization. Edinakia has joined your organization. Exexutioner4 kicked Edinakia from your organization.
Scottyg2: he has no freinds. and what he has now will eb lost Activity: God, you get mad at one person and go through a little hissyfit threatening to kill everybody in the fucking Org Exexutioner4: and yes i do ahve frinds Scottyg2: imaginary ones dont count Activity: HAHA Exexutioner4: so die Activity: lol Exexutioner4: and there not Scottyg2: adn no i wont die Exexutioner4: ones at my house right now Scottyg2: ims ure they arent exex Exexutioner4: and is leaving Scottyg2: yes ims ure Activity: I wonder why he's leaving Scottyg2: because he never existed Exexutioner4: because he has to go home 2 bed Exexutioner4: it's (:00 and a school night Exexutioner4: 9:00 Activity: I seriously can't wait until Mr gets on Activity: If you don't get kicked Ex, I'm leaving the Org Exexutioner4: good then leave
(referring to Edinakia)
Exexutioner4: have her join or i will kill u acvity Activity: lmfao Scottyg2: lol. activity could kick your ass without even trying. Exexutioner4: so come on have jer join Exexutioner4: how do u know havre u met him Exexutioner4: i mean in real life Scottyg2: ive known him for 5 years Exexutioner4: yeah right and do u both ;ive in wisconsion Scottyg2: so yes i would know Activity: Scott, I think anybody in the Org can kick his ass Scottyg2: no he lives in new mexico Exexutioner4: yeah right Activity: Hell, Redeyebot can kick his ass Exexutioner4; yeah so u don't know him i Exexutioner4: bot not online Scottyg2: activity woould you say that i know you pretty well? Activity: Yea Exexutioner4: have u met him at his house Scottyg2: no. unlike you i dfont steal Exexutioner4: i don't steal Exexutioner4: die fuckers Scottyg2: "im jsut goign to rob my dad then" Exexutioner4: oh yeazh but that's my dad not stores so hah Scottyg2: i beleive your story is over m8
- Offical site.
- The game's wiki.
- Vhabot Raid Forum for clans.
- Omni raid bot.
- Something Awful game review from 2001.
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