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Alex Jones

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Why so batshit?
Typical day in the studio for Mr. Jones

Alex Jones is a millionaire Zionist who believes his taxes are too high and greenhouse gasses don't warm the planet. Also known as the fatter David Icke, and the antimatter to Rush Limbaugh, he describes himself as a "paleoconservative" (read: paranoid conspiracy theorist) and libertarian intellectual from Texas. He can prove all his theories are true; he merely chooses not to.

"If you don't believe 9/11 was an inside job, it is because you consumed fluoride." OR "If you disagree with me, it is merely because you have consumed fluoride. Everybody that disagrees with me is a brainwashed sheeple." -These few quotes are commonly used by Alex Jones and his FOLLOWERS and exemplify the sublime logic and points of argumentation they implement. If the government had put out end of the world survival tips in response to the 2012 doomsday prophecy, and Jones saw them, he would have painted his entire office in semen, instead of his current I <3 Obama posters and blood of innocent people who he killed with his private drone, funded by your donations.

Contents

Documentaries

After a spending a number of years in an FEMA Concentration Camp, Meat Loaf took to political activism to expose the lies of the New World Order.
Alex Jones being taken captive by FEMA
Alex Jones dislikes the Federal government because they're always messing with his biz-naz.

The most notable portion of Jones' longstanding career is the absurd number of documentaries he's made over the years exposing the lies of the government. The first big epic title in these exposés was America: Wake Up or Waco, about the FBI raid on the Branch Davidians in 1993.

Average plot summary of an Alex Jones documentary:

All of these documentaries are on sale on one of Jones' various websites. All of them cost a small fortune for the DVD versions, but since people rip them and put them on Google video no one buys them anyway.

Radio Show

Alex Jones gives us an idea of what debating on his radio show is like.

Like every conservative intellectual with a computer, Jones is also famous for having his own radio show. Most of the time it tends to be a circle-jerk of conspiracy theorists and people who call in only to get pwnt by Jones' fanboys.

Other popular topics include:

Some argue that the Muse song "Time is Running Out" is about the blowjob Jones gave Matthew Bellamy to get him to appear on the show.

The Internet

Typical Alex Jones fan.

Jones runs a number of websites devoted to his war against the elite, the most notable of which are Prison Planet and Infowars. Both sites appeal to freethinkers of the eclectic variety. Though conservatards love to cite Jones as a champion of truth and freedom in the wake of George Bush's rampant faggotry, any moron who actually bothers to read his articles would know that he's just as bad, if not worse than the people he so heroically stands against, because he's actually a conservative. He's supposedly what's called a "paleoconservative", which is supposed to be the opposite of a neoconservative. This makes Jones roughly the political equivalent of a televangelist.

Selling points of an Alex Jones website include:

Typical Alex Jones Radio Shows

Alex Jones reaches out to conservative intellectuals

Alex Jones talking about starting a revolution

Alex will not have the globalist Bieber destroy his future children's lives.

Alex denying evolution.

Sit on your hands for this one, lest you feel the power of over 9000 facepalms in a blazing flurry of self-pwnage.

A pimp and a whore? Say it ain't so Alex!

Previous Video  |  Next Video

Associative Thinking: How Alex Jones Fools Large Amounts of Internetz-Foolz

In 2012 some Britfag on Alex Jones' show revealed how the show brainwashes its viewers.

Associative Thinking Key to Brainwashing Alex Jones Fans


Dr. Death, 2006

This man wants to kill everyone in your family using AIDS.

The drama began when a well-known scientist, Dr. Pianka, gave a lecture at the Texas Academy of Science and made some off-hand remarks about how humans were destroying the planet and how likely it is a pandemic will wipe out a large portion of the population in the future. Investigative journalist and general fucktard Forrest Mims decided that these were the words of a mad scientist bent on wiping out the human population with an airborne virus, and Jones quickly caught on, calling Pianka "Dr. Death", the frontman for the elite's New World Order agenda of genocide.

In the time since, Dr. Pianka's received a number of death threats from various crusaders for justice.

The NWO Illuminati 666

For every action, there is a reaction. That is the way the world works. For every fat, loathsome Libertarian lurking in his trailer-park "fallout shelter," rabidly ordering "survival seeds" from Jones' sponsors, there is an equally fat, community-college grad fag "ironically" listening to the radio show, incredulously gushing in pained exasperation at every single one of Alex's insane assertions.

As such, the only people who actually care enough to vocally and publicly oppose the bellicose Fuck, are knee-jerk Olbermann fans: the same people who thought it "progressive" to elect a nigger president, put a Jew in charge of the banks - and who are more than likely responsible for this very article.

Alex Jones is the definition of shit nobody cares about, and neither should you.

Alex Jones Does Satire

Obviously Alex Jones and his fans are a herd of lol-cows, but some are surprised to know that Jones actually thinks he can make people laugh INTENTIONALLY! He does this through the use of what he calls "satire", but which is obviously not satire and is just really weird and shows how fucked up in the head Jones really is. His "satire" consists of putting a towel on his head, putting on a high-pitched voice, sitting on a throne next to his butt boy and shrieking about the New World Order while he "interviews" himself. (Srsly, see video below).

While it is generally recognized that watching the Alex Jones show is one of the most lulzy things to do with your spare time, watching Jones attempt satire is weird and alienating. Jones' "satire" generates major degrees of fail and leaves the viewer feeling empty and devoid of vital force.

CAUTION: Viewing Alex Jones "Satire" May Result in Listlessness, Depression and Shriveled Libido


The "Joker" Incident

The "Joker" incident is a well-known internets happening when Alex Jones finally lost his mind, put on make-up to look like the Joker from the second film in the Batman Dark Knight trilogy, and started raving like a maniac. This incident was so weird, even for Jones, that many people who regularly watch him for the lulz finally shook their head and turned off his Youtube channel permanently as they knew that Jones could never truly top this incident in terms of pure, in-your-face retardation.

Some Claim that the "Joker" Incident is Proof that Jones is Just Doing It All for the Lulz


Others Say That Jones Was Doing It to Get Off Sexually


Others, however, just claim that the "Joker" incident is simply proof that Alex Jones suffers from chronic brain disease and should be locked in a monkey cage with a bullhorn and hung up in Times Square for everyone who pleases to take a gander. Actually, this wouldn't be much different to the current freak-show that he airs on Youtube six days a week.

Alex Jones on the Pier Morgan

When Britfag Piers Morgan tried to have the US government take Jones' guns so that he could personally break into Jones' house and rape his wife and kids, Jones got mighty pissed off. So, he started an online petition to troll the fuck out of Morgan and get him deported. Some said that this was ironic because Jones claims to want smaller government and constitutional rights, but also seems to have wanted the US government to prevent Morgan from exercising free speech. Some even went so far as saying that this shows that Jones and his stupid cult are actually a bunch of fascist creeps in disguise. Nevertheless, Jones soon went on the Piers Morgan show to clear up the confusions. Lulz ensued.

Alex Jones Sits Down to Calmly Debate Piers Morgan


(Actually, the original is just as lulzy and can be found here: "Jones Chimps Out Big Time on Piers Morgans' Show").

Trolling Alex Jones' Fanbase

Critical Questions for the Alex Jones Fan

  • If Alex Jones' documentaries and books are full of the vital critical information needed to stop the New World Order, why does he still charge money for them?
  • How can a world-controlling organization be stopped by the very system of government it invented? ...oh wait. It CAN'T.
  • If Alex Jones and Dylan Avery are all that stands between the government and world domination, why haven't they been killed by CIA hitmen yet?
  • If fire can't melt steel, then why did this happen?
  • If heat can't make metal weaker, then why do blacksmiths put shit into fire before hitting it with a hammer?
  • Also, isn't steel made by melting stuff?
  • See if they can define Paleocon in their own words without using anything they learned from Alex Jones or Wikipedia, or see if they can use it in an accurate and non-sensationalistic manner.
  • Ask them if they can explain why Jones stated the firefighters were involved in 9/11 on his radio show and web site, but when he was questioned about it later he denied he ever said anything like that[1].
  • Ask them why Alex Jones sucks off homeopathy faggots hocking colloidal silver, if he cares so much for his country?
  • If Bohemian Grove is a homosexual hang-out what was Alex Jones doing there in the first place?
  • How much did you weigh before you got into conspiracy theories?
  • Why does everyone seem to know everything about these "secret" societies?
  • Why not move to an area with no government influence?
  • Would Alex Jones push me?

Genital Grabbing

One thing that Alex likes talking about a LOT is the idea of the TSA or the cops grabbing your genitals. We say he likes talking about it and he does -- like some weird fixation that he just cannot get away from -- but almost nothing makes him more angry than the idea of having his genitals grabbed, crushed, palpated or squeezed by an authority figure. What experience led to Jones' obsession with authority figures giving his widdle a fiddle, we may never know. But this much is clear: Jones HATES it when "THEY" grab his genitals, his wife's genitals or his children's genitals.

Of course, in order to counterattack the genital gropers of the "THEY" Jones has done quite a bit of research on genital groping techniques which we have compiled in this handy sixty second video compilation which you can use to ensure that your genitals are not squeezed. (Or, if you're a cop or a TSA agent in training you can use it as an instructional video or whatever).

Genital Squeezing Techniques


Now that you know you know all the techniques by which the "THEY" might try to poke your parson or fandangle your fishy, what should you do about it? Well, you should go out, grab a bullhorn and make your way to your nearest police station of airport. When you get there make an awful lot of noise about people trying to grab your genitals. Inform passers by of the various techniques that the "THEY" use to grab your genitals. And what should you do when the men with the big nets take you away to electroshock you, pump you full of happy-goo and lock you in a padded-cell? Well, take heed patriot, for Alex Jones has put together this little motivational video to keep you angry even when you're loaded with enough tranquilizers to kill a horse.

Motivational Video for Patriots Against Non-Consensual Heavy Petting

Prank Calls With Alex Jones

Some geniuses on Youtube have realized that using an Alex Jones soundboard to prank phone call people is one of the lulziest acts imaginable. If anyone else out there feels like doing this we'd encourage them to use moar conspiracy theory rants about fluoride in the water. One particularly funny prank would be to cherry-pick some of Jones' craziest bits and call a psychiatrist and then post it on Youtube and put it on this ED page for others to lol at.

Prank Phone Calls With Alex Emerick Jones

Alex Jones' Jewish Connections

Fema Camps ain't cheap America !!!!1
  • Alex Jones is married to a Jewish woman named Violet Nichols, with whom he has three(3) Jewish children.
  • Alex Jones and his Jewish wife and children all qualify for Israeli citizenship under Israel’s “Law of Return”.
  • Alex Jones is funded by at least thirty-four(34) Jewish sponsors and advertisers who financially support his radio show and websites.
  • Alex Jones’ flagship radio station, KLBJ AM, in Austin, Texas, is owned by Emmis Communications, a media conglomerate based in Indianapolis, Indiana. The founder, chairman, president, and CEO of Emmis Communications is the Zionist Jew Jeffrey Smulyan.
  • Alex Jones’ radio show is broadcast on Sirius XM Radio. The chairman of Sirius XM Radio is the Jew Eddy Hartenstein. The CEO of Sirius XM Radio is the Jew Mel Karmazin. The President of Sirius XM Radio is the Jew Scott Greenstein. Of the six(6) executive officers of Sirius XM Radio, five(5) are Jews.
  • Alex Jones is the client of a Jewish attorney named Elizabeth Morgan who is also the attorney for Holly Lev Bronfman, the sister of Edgar Bronfman, Jr. Thus there are only two degrees of separation between Alex Jones and the Bronfman family, one of the wealthiest and most influential Jewish Zionist families in North America.
  • Alex Jones’ employee Molly Maroney, the managing editor of Infowars Magazine, is a former intern of STRATFOR, a private intelligence agency based in Austin, Texas, which has been linked to the CIA and Mossad. The founder and CEO of STRATFOR is the Zionist Jew George Friedman. Thus there are only two degrees of separation between Alex Jones and STRATFOR.'

Alex Jones: “My Wife is Jewish and I Hate Nazis” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmmaU5pL81g

Alex Jones: “I Support the Jewish State of Israel” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNseMDToKdk

Alex Jones: “Israel Could not Have Done 9/11? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0g6qJVWBL8

Alex Jones’ Zionist Behavior http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDiqfFJP6ds

Alex Jones: “Anti-Zionists are Mentally Ill, Weak Minded Idiots” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDTKBKGdbJ4

Alex Jones’ Co-Host Jason Bermas: “Anti-Zionists Should Kill Themselves” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-y3DkO1VX4g

Alex Jones’ Y2K Bullshit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvBR1eDuj6I

Alex Jones’ Scare Tactics on Y2K http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cviZAyb8_OA

Alex Jones Y2K – "the Russians are Attacking!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WkGyAqVmCk


 
 
THE ANSWER TO 1984 IS $19.95 AT THE INFOWARS STORE!
 

 

—anon

Alex Jones gets removed from YouTube

File:Richard melo rickyricardo123.jpg
FCTC elite Rickyricardo123 gets Alex Jones removed from YouTube via a false DMCA. So much for elite mexican hacking.

Ricky under the name "Gary" calls up Inforwars and attempts to fuck with them after getting Jones removed from Jewtube.

 
 
Great job Elitemexicanhacker12 !
 

 

anonymous

Parking Lot Story

A source of lulz for the last three years, the Alex Jones' Parking Lot Story is infamous amongst Jones' cult followers, independent free-press, and Alex's detractors, alike.

While the reality of the story is up for debate, it is not unreasonable to assume that Alex - a loudmouth fuck who picks fights with relative strangers - started the fight, and then lost it, accordingly. (An example of his reasoning skills can be heard daily on his radio program, where he debates with callers who disagree.)

The story goes: Alex and company, including his father, Bob, were having dinner at some restaurant. At another table was a RL troll named Steve. Alex recognized the man's voice (as Steve routinely called various radio shows in the Austin area to prank them; favouring Alex's show.) Approaching the man, Alex began to curse at and threaten Steve. Alex, acting big, stated he was going to whip the troll's ass. Steve stepped up and double dawg dared him to step outside...

At first, Alex wavered. But, having a huge ego and a tough guy image to keep up, (and realizing that even if he lost the fight, he could always lie later-on,) Alex went outside to confront Steve.

In the parking lot, Alex was hesitant to fight, but Steve kept at him. In true nigger fashion, Alex threatened to pull his piece on Steve, who RL trolled Alex even more by calling him a "pussy;" stating, to the extent, that "only pussies bring a gun to a fist-fight, you jarhead pussy."

Alex, according to eye-witness reports, ran to his truck, fumbling for his gun, which he apparently slipped into some pocket. Then, with a hand in that pocket, advanced on Steve - who, after a few steps backwards, triple-dawg dared Alex to, "shoot me already, you jarhead bitch." Then popped Alex in the face, dropping him like a faggot.

Alex cried for dad, ordering one of his dinner guests to, "Get Bob!!"

While Alex's cohort ran indoors to fetch daddy, Alex got back up and spat blood in Steve's face. Steve reacted accordingly, and punched Alex again, dropping him.

Long story short: Before fleeing the restaurant parking lot, Alex told Steve that he had powerful relatives in the FBI, and reported to them Steve's [now defunct] bookstore as a terrorist front, and Steve, as a pedo, with large cache of CP . The fed, in true Illuminati fashion, found Steve not guilty of anything.

Alex, remembering his revelation at dinner the night before, went on-air and claimed that he was jumped by 4-5 knife-wielding assailants (despite not receiving even one cut during his heroic struggle.) They hated freedom, loved to oppresses patriots, and wanted him dead. But, Alex told, he valiantly fought them off with only his bare fists, because he wasn't going to lay down - he wasn't afraid!

To this day, Alex fights to have this story removed from the Internets forever.

Ways to troll Alex Jones fans

- Inform them that it was actually the Jews who were behind 9/11

- Tell them Alex Jones is a false flag conspiracy theorists working for the Jews (some people actually believe this)

- Tell them the The Rothchilds are not the reason for their virginity

- Tell them that Ron Paul spent years working for FEMA

- Tell them that the "Paul twins" (Ron and Rand) are part of a NWO clone program and that both are half-lizard (see: David Icke)

- Tell them that the Federal Reserve is a public body and then when they insist that its private ask them why they turn 100% of their profits over to the US Treasury/government every year -- after all, no private corporation would simply give 100% of their profits to the government!

Alex Jones & #SandyLootCrew Trolls

While Superstorm Sandy ripped through the East Coast of the U.S. in October 2012; Alex Jones took the time to fall for the trolling of the Sandy Loot Crew[2]

Alex Jones' Goregasms

If you watch Alex Jones very closely you'll soon notice that his job is actually to lock himself in his studio, turn on his multiple cameras and spend the next sixty minutes getting his rocks off. You see, Jones doesn't actually get off on the stuff that most people get off on. And no, he doesn't get off on furry pr0n either. Instead he gets off on talking about really sick shit. So, in a way Jones is a bit like the good people on Encyclopedia Dramatica except the difference is that Jones is crazy enough to concoct conspiracies about how he thinks his sick death fantasies will manifest themselves on the streets of amerikkka.

The other difference is that while a good, half-socialized EDiot will log into Encyclopedia Dramatica and hide behind a username while they mind-spunk all the sick shit they repress in day-to-day life onto the screen, Jones sits inside a studio and gets paid to goregasm out his mouth day-in day-out. So, Jones is actually sort of like a paid version of one of those rogue masturbators that you "accidentally" stumble upon on Chatroulette. And like the masturbators some of the thrill for Jones is the idea of being watched squeeze every last drop of happy-syrup out of his mental love-wand. So, next time you hear Jones go into gory detail about sick shit or death or being groped by the TSA or whatever, take a close look at his pants and see if anyone pops up to say hello.

Jones Getting Major Jollies Out of the Idea of "THEY" Murdering Your Family

Straightforward Selection of Alex Jones Conspiracy Goregasms


Quotes

 
 
THE GOVERNMENT IS GOING TO KILL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!
 

 

—Alex Jones

 
 
Hollywood is owned by the Arabs
 

 

—Alex Jewns

 
 
SCUM, NAZI, FILTH, TRASH, GARBAGE, MAGGOTS
 

 

—Ajax Loans

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Gallery

Video

Alex Dramaticus Obesus Iratus Simius Jones

Alex Jones proves that the NWO did WTC

Alex Jones gets OWNED by discordian drunk man:

Alex Jones shows his love for charlie sheen.

What should WILL happen to Alex Jones IRL:

An Anon suspects that Alex Jones is part of the CIA:

Try to watch this one without cringing...

Alex Jones Tells Everyone They Can Be Millionaires By Selling His Bullshit Snake Oil!

Even truthers think Alex Jones is full of shit.

Previous Video  |  Next Video


facebook fags going apeshit.
 
 
Listen to him for events going on, but never forget he is NWO...anyone got a bloodline on him??
 

 

—Kimberly suspects Alex is part of the NWO.

 
 
Anyone worth their mettle in the insider circles of alternative media KNOWS that AJ is a zionist shill. His wife is Jewish, he always rants about the Killuminati, he disrupts and stirs CONTROLLED opposition and he - from very early on - was exposed to be a fraud and fear mongerer by none other than William Cooper who was shot for speaking the truth about 9/11.

His bu$inse$$ is selling and creating fear and unrest by walking into protests and yelling through his stupid (not that he needs it) loud speaker. His handlers are BIG money (Adnan Kashoggi), and he's a crypto Jew covering IsraHELL's backside wherever possible. Jeff Rense who is A LOT more together and who does a better job at telling it like it is and has no need to scream his listeners' ears off, has posted an open letter re the infamous Alex Jone$.
 


 

—K-h exposes Alex Jones once and for all.

See Also

External Links

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