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9/11

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Supermandidwtc.gif
RIP John Candy, now that's a fucking tragedy
Obama watching his favorite movie.
Nyan Cat did it.
This is just how much fuck Col. Quiddich gives about 9/11.
Longcat is looooooooong, but the time we must remember is looooooooooooooonger.
Rule 34 never fails.


9/11 was a series of attacks conducted by Mossad [1], with the full cooperation of the Vice President of the United States (Dick Cheney) [2] and his good friends in the American-Israeli political lobby. These attacks were intentionally blamed on Muslim terrorists to serve as pretext for a war with Afghanistan which Dick Cheney had been planning since July 2001. Then-Pakistani Foreign Secretary Niaz Naik was told about the pending war that summer, in order that the Pakistani government would be aware of the need to use its airspace. [3]

Four planes were hijacked by men who were radicalised by Israeli intelligence and led to believe they were working for al Qaeda, and then subsequently flown into several American landmarks. [4]

That same afternoon, despite apparently having no intelligence on the hijackers before they hijacked the planes, the Bush Crime Family suddenly had a list of 19 “suspects” it claimed had been responsible for the attacks and, despite claiming to know nothing about these men, decided they worked for al Qaeda. Several weeks after the attacks, it became clear that at least several of the hijackers were not using their real identities during the flights, yet traditional media sources have never changed the original list of names [5][6]

After the attacks, the WTC buildings fell down completely symmetrically, at free fall speed. Despite this, the NIST investigation officially sanctioned by the Bush Crime Family failed to test for the presence of any type of explosive. [7] Danish chemistry expert Professor Niels Harrit however proved in 2009 that military grade thermate charges were used to cut the buildings' resistance to their own weight, so that gravity dragged them to the ground. [8]

However, in spite of Harrit's findings, millions of Americans continue to deny the existence of basic laws of physics which prevent the symmetrical, free fall collapse of buildings which have been struck horizontally five sixths of the way up (north tower). These laws include: f=ma, the law of mechanical equilibrium, conservation of energy and Newton's third law. Additionally, the principles of falling to the path of least resistance and Occam's Razor are also violated by the official explanation.

L. Paul Bremer, the man who first appeared on television newscreens at 12.45 pm that same day to suggest Osama bin Laden may have been the culprit[9], worked at Marsh & McLennan, the same company whose offices occupied precisely the impact zone of Flight 11 (floors 93-100). Bremer himself was supposed to be present for a meeting that morning, but understandably didn't turn up for the barbecue party. Ironically, Bremer previously sat on the board of advisors for Japanese machinery company Komatsu, who, working in conjunction with Dresser industries (an oil company with links to Bush senior that merged with Haliburton in 1998[10]), patented a thermate demolition charge in 1996 which "demolishes a concrete structure at a high efficiency, while preventing a secondary problem due to noise, flying dust and chips, and the like."[11]

Practically every available eyewitness on scene at the WTC reported that they thought they saw a demolition, including Dominick Derubbio, Battalion Chief (F.D.N.Y., Div 8), who said: "It was weird the way it came down. It looked just like a timed explosion", and Brian Dixon, Battalion Chief (F.D.N.Y.), who said: "the lowest floor of fire in the south tower actually looked like someone had planted explosives around it". Upon seeing WT7 collapse on video, Dutch demolitions expert Danny Jowenko said: "This is demolition. Without a doubt. A team of experts did this."

Still, America being the planet's first official idiocracy, many people would sooner believe the word of a proven liar, than mathematical laws discovered by Issac Newton and practiced for 400 years.

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the al Qaeda commander who the US claims to have in custody and is presently trying to charge with masterminding the 9/11 attacks, died in an ISI raid in Karachi in 2002. [12] This explains why the only "evidence" linking him to the attacks is his own confession, taken after he was waterboarded 183 times at Guantanamo Bay. [13]. His death has been covered up by the US administration and that lie is being freely propagated on major US sites such as Wikipedia.




9/11 is also the date on which Praetor Pinochet built enough pylons and killed over 9000 commies for the lulz. The world is a better place since 1973. Commie Cerebrate Allende will always be remembered as an hero.

9/11 is also known to be the date Jews blew up the twin towers to get insurance money.

9/11 is also the day Papa Bush started the Gulf War, 11 years BWTC.

9/11 is 111 days before new year.

9/11 is what you call when the World Trade Centers fall down.

9/11 is also known to be the date when a bunch of rightards attacked and killed 30 workers in Cochabamba, Bolivia, throwing the bodies to the river.

9/11 was actually performed by a group of Japanese Anime fans. Sadly, President_Bush didn't drop over 9000 nukes on Japan, instead he just killed some totally unrelated and innocent unamerican people in Afghanistan and Iraq. But we must never forget who was responsible.

9/11 Greatest Outdoor BBQ Ever

9/11 9-2 = 7/11, a popular Amerikunt inconvenience store serving 4-gallon atomic sugar slushies to low income families and low self-esteem women. A recent study done by the South Harmon Institute of Technology has found 7/11 to be responsible for 3/4 of diabetes-related deaths in the United-States, making it 30 million times (14 million times if counted using Chinese people) more deadly than the September 11th attacks. Following the publishing of these results, the CEO of the company, Derp Jr. the 14th, subsequently released a statement expressing deep feelings of regret to his W.A.S.P. shareholders for not having met their yearly target of killing at least 34 million niggers using the Bling-Bling branded weed-flavored slushie. Shares dropped 42% following this announcement.

Contents

Holy Fucking Shit

In common internets parlance and on various old media outlets, 9/11 is used to make liberals feel guilty for hating America, not supporting the war in Iraq, and forgetting about Poland. If you suggest that there was any significant reason for people to commit suicide while killing 3,000 people you are a conspiracy theorist and will be pwned with impenetrable conservative logic, seen here. Meanwhile, Conservatives and serial killer George W. Bush use it to justify their political ideology as well as any policies that may seem, on the face of it, stupid or crazy.

.

IRL, the term 9/11 is often associated with cheesy, über-patriotic imagery of the event, such as on mall-bought t-shirts proclaiming "NEVER FORGET!", and on the bumper stickers of countless SUVs. All of this swag is made in China, further funding Communism. Inciting 9/11 in a comedic manner will warrant over 9000 Americunts to baawww in protest, causing, for the most part, lulz. Thus, 9/11 is the best topic to bring up when bashing the Jewnited States of Americunts

It is a common theory that on 9/11, America was under attack. But, in reality, if America was under a tack, that would be one huge ass tack. A tack of this size has not been seen in the wild for over 9000 years, but is rumors to have been sighted in space Last Thursday.

Attack On American Soil

Americans were outraged that terrorists attacked American soil by crashing United Airlines Flight 93 into a field Shanksville, Pennsylvania.

They (with the exception of liberals) became further butthurt when they discovered that the $57 million tribute to the soil attack was to be maple trees planted in the shape of an Islamic crescent.

President George Bush dealt with the 9/11 attacks by immediately capitulating to the terrorist's demands, which were that the US get out of the holy land (Saudi Arabia). Killing two birds with one stone, he ordered the troops to leave the holy land and to invade Iraq and bitch-slap CIA asset Saddam Hussein for threatening to denominate oil exports in euro.

Exercise to save own ass? Not my job!

Instead of running down stairs, most Americans in the towers decided to call 9/11 and wine like babies.

The U.S. 'Investigators' claimed that the stairs were broken.

Theories

The Truth was in the money.

Loose Change

Jews did WTC is NOT a theory, it is SCIENTIFIC FACT YOU INSENSITIVE FUCKS.

[[http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=9/11&oldid=1997240249#Loose_Change LOL JUST GO 2 YOUTUBE AND TYPE 9/11 TRUTH, IT WILL TELL U EVERYTHING U NEED 2 KNOW

Illuminati

Richard C. Hoagland proposes that Muslim League of Assassins, [15][16] did WTC due to the Freemason back story with the Knights Templar, or those chain letters you get about how 9+1+1=11. Starter of all those people on JewTube spouting numerology.

Apparently, Osama crashed the towers because they represented Masonry, and therefore, Merikkka.

If we could tie the actual architects of the WTC towers directly to Freemasonry, we would have strong support for this aspect of our theory. To this point however, we have not been able to do so. We do, however, have some fascinating circumstantial evidence.

Have YOU cashed in on your Masonic membership yet?

Fake Smoke Theory

Some intelligent person (and his socks) believe that the whole thing was faked and that the towers are still there--you just cant see them. Did I mention he has PROOF!, screen shots of a poorly encoded video with some green rectangles photoshoped to highlight the areas of "fake smoke"... I could go on ad-nausium about this highly trained intelligence operative but I fear the CIA are watching me masturbate.

Comedy

Some claim that 9/11 was caused by a simple meeting of the minds of several funnymen around the Arab world. Osama bin Laden was but one of those comedians who decided to simply play a practical joke on America. This joke was manifested by the planes going through but the punchline was what lured the United States into two large wars that drained their penchant for rape. One can argue that 9/11 was done simply for the lulz, but it was more elaborate than that. Al Qaeda (translated from Arabic as "to laugh"). TL;DR, 9/11 was done for the lulz intentionally as a form of comedic expression. As such, all comedians must be released and allowed to perform their particular version of comedy in this free society.

Alternate Theories

About missing Pics

Gallery

About missing Pics

Accounts of the perpetrators

Will Smith yesterday
The moment the second tower collapsed

Now this is a story all about how

These towers got burned right to the ground

And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there

I'll tell you how I became the prince of a smoking crater


In west Afghanistan born and raised

In poverty is how I spent most of my days

Building an infrastructure with Russian funds

Whilst the tribal system started to fill up with modern guns


When a couple of Yanks who were up to no good

Trained and funded Mujahs in my neighborhood

The Soviets left and Bin Laden got mad

And said "you're moving to America to commit Jihad"


I got a plane ticket and when I got on

I revealed that in my shoe I was hiding a bomb

If anything I was mad 'cause I was served pork

But I thought, "Naw, forget it - yo Holmes, to New York!"


I flew up to the towers 'bout half past ten

And the onlooking media said "Oh no, not this again"

I looked at my kingdom, all these virgins were there

To sit on my bone, with the smell of scorched hair

The Nightmare Continues

One of the bombs cleverly disguised as a lite-brite.
 
 
After several years of calm, the United States was yet again subjected to a harrowing, nightmarish vision of the apocalypse when dozens of little boxes with lights and pictures of terrifying alien creatures flipping the bird were placed in prominent locations in ten major U.S. cities in early 2007. By late January, the boxes had existed without incident for several weeks, and thus the obvious dangers inherent in little boxes with lights on them would have probably gone unheeded for perhaps one or even two more weeks had not some brave resident of Boston noticed them, pronounced them "wicked scary," and notified his or her local Catholic priest and the Department of Homeland Security, which promptly shut down a portion of the city and brought in bomb squads to have them removed. Understandably, the governor of Massachusetts and spokespersons for several law enforcement departments were outraged, calling the incident a "hoax" unfit for "this post-9/11 world." Their reasoning, of course, was sound. It is a well-known fact among terrorism experts that 90 percent of all a-linear attacks on Western targets perpetrated by Islamic terrorists involve little boxes with lights on them depicting cult characters from hipster-friendly American late night television cartoons engaged in a purely Western hand gesture, and which are placed in prominent locations for several weeks without exploding.
 

 

What an interesting chunk of Writing

4/28, Nevar Forget

On April 28th, 2009, the White House sent Air Force One flying by Lower Manhattan in order to get a pretty picture of the airplane sexing up the Statue of Liberty. Naturally, they didn't bother to tell anyone, assuming no one would notice a giant 747 heading straight for the Financial District in the middle of a weekday. With in minutes, hundreds of thousands of people were flooding out of their buildings, traffic came to a halt (not that it was moving anyway), the stock market crashed, and global finance stopped dead (not that it wasn't dead already).

When asked why they didn't warn New Yorkers beforehand, an FAA spokesmen said it was because the information was "Classified". Just like why they didn't bother to warn NYC about 9/11 despite alerts from the FBI and the Mossad.

When asked why they did it, the FAA spokesmen admitted it was "for the lulz".

You're a terrorist

 
 
You know, terrorists are just people who like to murder other people. What the fuck is the big problem? Seriously. What do they do that's so bad? They kill people. Well, so what? What's so great about people that they shouldn't be allowed to be murdered? So people die, yeah... fucking, I don't know them. So I honestly don't care. Some of them might have been assholes, you don't know.
 

 

—Louis C.K.

9/11 art.

PROTIP: common defense used by anyone who disagrees with you is saying "9/11" and "Terrorist." Once these words are spoken you instantly lose and are supporting terrorism and will result in your house getting hit by 1000 Nukes for some epic lulz. Be sure to call them a Nazi to ensure an Epic Win. Example:

"Why are we going to war?"
"Saying things like that support the terrorists."
"ORLY"

Once you have let everyone know you're a terrorist, all that's left is to blow some shit up. Follow these simple steps to ensure epic win:

  1. Get on plane
  2. Kill pilot
  3. Fly plane into tall building, Be sure at least 300 fat Americunts are inside the building to ensure some lulz
  4. Become an hero
  5. ????
  6. VIRGINS!

Clarification

Not to be confused with the very similar sounding 7-11. While both of these number related names have a lot in common, namely the Arabs and Indians involved in the plot to take over USAn ghettos, the effects of 7-11 are much more pervasive than 9/11

You pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

Actually, The Tsunami Was Worse

Exactly one hundred times worse, according to the advert for the WWF pictured right. It was designed for them by a Brazilian ad agency, and if we had a time machine, the first thing we'd do would be to go back to the precise moment when the jungle-spics unveiled their design to them just so we could record the looks on their faces.

Thankfully for the lulz, the image of a hundred planes zerg rushing Manhattan was leaked before they could burn every last copy of it.

Videos

Tribute
Many people have tributed 9/11 with websites, epitaphs and other such useless things which definitely amount to the equivalent value of a nigger. However, the best of these is the Ecuadorian singer, Delfin Hasta El Fin, which translates to, seriously, 'Dolphin Till The End'. I'm not even going TRY making fun of THAT. Although it shows you many things about his sexual identity. His music video, 'Twin Towers', is a wonderful insight into how the South Americans (wait, what?) view the tragic events that occurred on 9/11. We cry, but for many different reasons.

Actual footage of events.

Koran burning - A new 9-11 tradition.

Benny Hill did WTC!

Touhou did WTC nvr frgt.

South America sings for America.

Some bitch crying about woodland creatures/his only friends.

A thinly-veiled fictionalization, but where the hell are the Jews?

Previous Video  |  Next Video

See Also

External Links

9/11
is part of a series on
Terrorists
60%

Big Players

Osama Bin Laden Dnepropetrovsk maniacs John Walker Lindh Muslims George W Bush Barack Obama Grog Unabomber Cho Seung-Hui Michael Moore Mohamed Abdulaziz Rashid Saeed-Alim The Finnisher Matthew Murray Robert Hawkins Timothy McVeigh Anders Behring Breivik The Unabrower

Terrorist Groups, Beliefs and Causes

Arab Axis of Evil Binghampton Iran Ireland Islam Pakistan Palestine Sudan

Terrorist Actions

Waco WTC Beheading videos Binghampton Tet Offensive Boston Marathon Bombing Columbine ATHF Terrorist Attack VTech Oklahoma City Bombing Delaware State University Shooting Police Brutality Narcovideos Nitroglycerin Occupy Wall Street

You can help improve Encyclopedia Dramatica by adding more and more awesome explosions and killers of civilians.


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