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711chan

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711chan
711chan logo updated.png
FoundationNovember 11, 2007
Major Boards/b/, /i/, /lulz/, /nig/, /h4ck/
Epic WinsHaving a /loli/
Website711chan.org

711chan was created by jewlion and is home of the skiddies. It's an alternative to 7chan and 420chan containing mostly cum-guzzling refugees from the the cancer killing /b/, to create the swine flu that is going to kill us all. It is not unlike a giant bolus of shit that clogs the tubes of the Intardwebs.

711chan claimed to be a haven from modfaggotry and promised to be fair on all matters of chan life (e.g. bans, who gets mod, etc.). They then told some other jokes which were equally unfunny. In keeping with this trend, admins and mods decided to dedicate every Wednesday to modfaggotry, dubbing it "Modfaggotry Wednesday". On these days, they wear silly hats, fap to lemon party, and call each other "Commodore Buttmaster".

In the past, Modfaggotry Wednesday has involved partyhard css, banning everyone everywhere, smoking crack, 10+ stickies, rotating penises flying around the pages and up to 60% more Howler. The definition of Wednesday will be decided by the 711chan "staff". Unfortunately, the "staff" are all knuckle-dragging self-loathing misanthropes.

Contents

History

12085918001.jpg

711chan got its first large rush of users during the general November 2007 drama fest of 7chan, which included the event known as Pocky Day and Lorf madness. It was the main refuge for true oldfag /b/tards, and continued to open itself up for all those in need of a safehouse.

711chan was also fairly popular due to its /i/ board. 420chan no longer links there.

As of March 1st, 2008, 711chan was proud to consider itself one of the major chans. It continued to grow at a substantial rate until the uptime was at less than 50%.

2008

From June 7th, 2008 to early July 2008, 711chan was owned by its growing herd of morons, as explained by Plasma on 9 days after the servers collapsed. He promptly shat himself.

Due to jewlion's refusal to give up his jewgolds for the good of 711chan, the userbase dug deep into their moms' purses and managed to provide the $150 needed to get a new server. A new server was ordered from Wal-Mart on June 24th, 2008.

In mid November 2008 the site again collapsed like a fag's immune system under the weight of too much AIDS. Many got Apache 500 (service unavailable) errors. They then determined that 10 users were too many to be using the site in a month.

2009

After a video of a cat drowning was found by some FBI Agent or something, the site was taken down.

 
 

(Almost) All names and likenesses have been replaced with fake information.

Slow Bro,

Your server is hereby permanently cancelled for violation of our terms of use (specifically, illegal activity). Our taking your server down was an action in cooperation with Detective Bill Ballson of the Vancouver Police Department who in turn was acting in cooperation with Interpol (VPD Criminal Investigation File #xxxx). I have just spoken with him and he has authorized our giving you his contact information, which you will find below.

<snip>

I have no doubt you will contact him and protest that you were totally unaware of the objectionable material and are a totally innocent third party. On a purely personal level, I wish to inform you that, upon reviewing our complaints record, I am of the personal opinion that any such assertion would be total nonsense, that you were clearly aware of objectionable material on your sites, and that your site asserted itself as a place where such material was available. I have made Detective Ballson aware of my personal opinion as described above.

eSecureData.com Inc. hereby terminates all activities with you permanently. Please make any further inquiries directly to Detective Ballson.

Regards, Reg


Above is the email i got from my datacenter. Turns out we were v& over a video of a guy drowning a cat lol isn't that great. The detective (whom I spoke with) stated that he was merely trying to get the video down, not the whole site (or the whole server for that matter). So basically, it's all eSecureData's fault.

BUT WE'RE BACK LOL THE MAN CAN'T KEEP US DOWN!
 


 

—711chan

lol detective ballson

In the early hours of June 11, 2009, heroes from 4chan expressed their heroic initiative and fail by initiating a shitty ddos on 711chan when said video of the drowning cat was discovered on the front page, which had been there for weeks.

File:711chan 2010 hax.jpg
Courtesy of the h4ck3r.
Also courtesy of the h4ck3r.

2010

Seeing as everyone at 711chan is retarded, kusabax was not updated and a security vuln was exploited in the form of sonic music and a trumpet version of the nedm cat. All was fun and games until a php shell was discovered and then everything was shut the fuck down and fixed.

Kyle

Rather than going with the normal "Anonymous" theme, 711chan has currently chosen Kyle as the forced identity of /b/. It originated from an old 711chan IRC mod/user/overall faggot who went by the nick "vanilla" (though his MySpace revealed his real name: Sean.) Sean was a huge scene fag as well as being 15, and after some IRC drama with SIMBA, left the site during its early days in a fit of rage, and was never heard of or seen again. This even made the general userbase shit their pants in fits of laughter and resulted in the forced idea of Seanonymous on /b/. This has also lead to the birth of several new memes such as "Shut up Sean." He is generally missed as he was the go-to scapegoat and punching bag for anything not related to plasma's drunkenness or jewlion's lovable greediness. Following Sean, came Patrick, Kyle and Cynthia.

2011

With the start of 2011, mods unlocked /pony/, which had been forwarded to zerochan (which is thankfully no longer with us.) Also came the start of more activity on 711chan's /b/. Or at least mod's extreme attempt by begging for everyone to advertise and beg any anon on the internets to flock to 711chan if they want some original content (AKA The cancer that is killing /b/)and are tired of copypasta. No one knows what this operation WB would like to have performed is supposed to do, exactly. It's supected that he is going to have his dick cut off.

 
 
So apparently WooF did not wish to kill 711chan, he apparently only tried getting a statement across in the same manner school shooters do.

However, he was to some extent correct. 711chan lacks original content. So i come here with an operation that hopefully changes this. Gentlemen, i bring you; Operation סיעור מוחות

Thats hebrew for 'Operation Brainstorming'.

The plan is the following. Sunday 23.01.2010 we only tweet OC on the boards.

The content doesn't have to be good, it just has to be original.

Now, how can we make sure that people actually contribute with OC? Well, simple; ADMINS BAN EVERYONE THAT DOES NOT tweet OC THAT DAY. If a user uses content that the admins recognize from earlier (aka not OC) then its temp ban for 1 hour for the user in question. However, images that are widely used everyday can still count as OC, as long as you have edited something on it (Removed and/or added something).

How are we gonna get people willing to join our Original Content Sunday? Well, we will need to advertise on the others major chans, aiming our advertisement on oldfags and The creativefags.

- "Tired of copypasta content? 711chan has OC sunday, why not stop by?"

Something along those lines. The lack of OC is not just a problem here on 711chan but also at all the other chans, so The creativefags will hopefully like this idea and join in on an OC orgy.
 


 

—711chan

Also in early 2011, every image on every board was deleted and replaced with an image that read "I ACCIDENTALLY THIS WHOLE IMAGE PS UJB U MAD." Scholars don't seem to give a shit what that means. They just cared that all the flooded CP disappeared because of this modfaggotry.

Cynthia

For some stupid reason, WB moved on from using Kyle, to Cynthia. Weedbag is so hungry for original content that he made anonymous become Cynthia and blasts some annoying Cynthia theme song to fuck with all 3 users of the site. As if anyone cares about kids cartoons anyway. :3 however after a couple weeks MySQL took a shit and when /b/ came back up Cynthia was no more. Currently it's Anonymous again.

Chanology - The Inception

Sit down children, and hear my tale, of how the least cancer'd chan turned to AIDS and fail.

Sometime in January 2008, a thread turned up on 711chan's /i/ board, calling for a DDoS raid on Scientology. This had been suggested and denied numerous times since the inception of 711chan back in late 2007, but due to attention focused on Scientology regarding some Tom Cruise vid, 711channers just said "lol, y not," and a successful raid occurred. Due to the massive rush received from fucking around with a mafia-like organization, a few more DDoS attacks took place in the weeks proceeding, taking down the main site and a few other Scientology related sites.

The Escalation

A large part of lulz obtained from any raid is generated by the raidee whining and raging at the raiders. After weeks of elongated and elevated harassment, they admit defeat and submit to the every whims of the raiders, losing a large amount of respect in their community. Perhaps guessing this may be the motive, Scientology remained tight lipped. Every media source questioning them about the attacks was answered with "Buy our books." Far from refusing to talk about the attacks, they refused to acknowledge their existence, and the existence of everyone asking about them. In an effort to make Scientology speak about the attacks; the raiders escalated the DDoS attacks to a regular basis, and phone bombing and black faxing took place, forcing many machines to be turned off, and call centers to be shut down. By this time, the raid was starting to receive media attention. News sources including The Orlando Times and BBC News dedicated surprisingly large articles to the DDoS attacks, and hilariously started referring to the attackers as hackers, Fox News style.

The Attention Whores and Moralfags

It should be remembered that most of the work was not carried out by 711channers. g00ns played a part, with d3f irccoping the DDoS attacks, and 4channers were informed of the raid and directed towards the 711chan raid link and irc room. Needless to say, this attracted an enormous amount of newfags and general failures, native to 4chan, but foreign to 711chan. Post quality suffered, whilst traffic jumped from 420chan levels to 7chan levels. And in a move that can only be construed as either drunkenness or temporary insanity, the 711channers and 4chan visitors went looking for /b/lackup in formally mocked and ridiculed corners of the internet. MySpace and Facebook being the main recruiting areas. As expected, the motive for Chanology changed. Suddenly the original shits and giggles motive was changed to one of OMG SCIENTOLOGY IS AN EVIL CULT WTF SERIOUS BUSINESS. A video appeared on YouTube, declaring that "Anonymous" would destroy the Church Of Scientology for the good of humanity. The media latched onto this like flies onto a rotting corpse, and started reporting on the "vigilante hackers bringing down an evil cult." It is likely that the media were well aware that this was not the case. But since Scientology was such a hot topic, and Scientologists had fucked over most of the big media numerous times, they whored their journalistic integrity for views and revenge. As a result of the absolutely overwhelming and over-reactionary media attention, many more newfags flocked to 711chan, hoping to become shady web vigilantes. Traffic quintupled, and the original 711channers were outnumbered. The phrase "This is not win until we get media attention" was adopted as the Chanology slogan. Pinning down the turn from internet hate machine into internet attention machine (would later turn into the irl hug machine, then the internet doodle machine). On the advice of Mark Bunker, The internet action was abandoned, and then vilified as immoral. The decision was taken by the moralfags and attention whores to turn Chanology into a peaceful irl protest. It is shameful to say that many original 711channers (including myself) got caught up in this, and found themselves supporting the protests, and echoing the new morality based motives for attacking Scientology, forgetting the original shits and giggles motive.

The /b/acklash

Many 711channers, mostly tired of the dedication of 711chan to Chanology, and the cancer received due to it, got on irc and asked jewlion to ban talk of Chanology from 711chan, and ban all of the failures supporting it. Jewlion refused, on the grounds that he believed Chanology would end before long, and he wanted to maintain his image as godly figure who can do no wrong. Also he remained loyal to the original 711chan oath, that there would be no modfaggotry, and little banning. But as a mark of how much he and the rest of the admins hated Chanology and all the cancer it had brought, he banned talk of Chanology from /b/ and /i/, consigning it to the new board /xenu/. This is how it stayed for a few months. Anyone stupid enough to strike up a conversation about Chanology outside /xenu/, would be banned. This didn't however, stop the chanologists from going to /b/ and /i/ and started cancer filled threads, unrelated to Chanology. /i/nsurgents became very hostile to /xenu/, and the faggots that lurked within. But nothing happened until months later, when /i/ was transported to not420chan, a website joined with 420chan, and as a result 420chan admin sparto was given mod on all of 711chan. 420channers were the first to express disdain for Chanology, so it was obvious that shit was gonna fly. Sparto and some other 711chan mod went to /xenu/ and created a sticky declaring that /xenu/ was a hive of cancer, and would thus be purged. Everyone who posted in /xenu/ was permabanned, and all around it was declared that maybe Sparto wasn't such a cunt after all. Unfortunately, jewlion returned and brought /xenu/ back to its original state a few hours after, but the blow had already been struck. Moralfags and Attention whores, noticing the all around positive reaction to the banning spree, accepted that they weren't welcome, and fucked off back to fourchannels and immigrated to freechannels /i/. Soon after, Jewlion removed the link to /xenu/, and a few weeks later the entire board was deleted, leaving Chanology talk completely banned from 711chan. The cancer that was Chanology raged for over 100 days on 711chan, and stretched across two seasons. By the time it finished, 711chan had been a Chanology chan for over half of its lifespan, and was broken by the cancer.

The Chan Cold War

Chanology did not end with /xenu/ being deleted. If anything, it got stronger, and more insolent. Enturbulation.org became the new Chanology stronghold. A site despised, even by other protestfags, for its disgusting moralfaggotry. And with the moralfags separated from the 711channers, an effective war could finally be raged. not420channers set off destroying and obscuring the advertisements left on drawball by the moralfags, and a few moralfags began (ineffectively) trolling not420chan threads. Due to the moralfags and oldfags knowing each others tactics, a normal flood, ddos or trolling would be useless. There were moralfag spies in not420chan, and oldfag spies in enturbulation, Neither could make a move, or prepare a DDOS or flood, as it would immediately be reported and retaliation would be issued. This left each side performing small attacks, by either individuals or small groups gathered in private. Noteable events include the dropping of Mark Bunker's dox (by me :D) on not420chan, 711chan and 7chan, leading to a massive phone bombing. (Mark Bunker disappeared from YouTube for a bit after this). The same thing happened to Magoo, a former crack whore and friend of Fatty Bunker. After not420chan disappeared, and /i/ was returned to 711chan, the final blow was struck. Seeing as enturbulation is a vbulletin forum, rather than an anonymous image board, the users were forced to use aliases. 711channers used these to find MySpace accounts, names, and finally dox. Dox were sold to Scientology at $10 a name and address, and Scientologists dropped dox on the moralfags during the protests. So much for calling yourself anonymous eh? Soon after this, Plasma banned all mention of Chanology from 711chan. Which means no more raiding Enturb, and no mentioning Chanology full stop. The attitude is much like post-Nazi Germany. You talk about Chanology, you get banned. You talk in a supportive manner about Chanology, you get permabanned. And with this, the saga that stretched over three seasons, and came to define 711chan, came to and end. That is the story of Chanology kids. Now gb2/bed.


BobTehHobo

One day while jewlion was off counting his jewgolds, a faggot decided to donate 140 jewgolds to 711chan. This made jewlion orgasm right where he stood and he gave BobTehHobo modship. A couple days later, everyone found out that BobTehHobo was one of the biggest weeaboo gaiafags ever to grace the internet and much lulz began as everyone milked him for all the fail that he was. To this day he still stands as the current lolcow of 711chan, worse than Howler's constant yiffing of the servers which is often the cause of the frequent downtime.

Boards

Awesome Shit

  • /711/ - Food, Drink, and Site Discussion.
  • /b/ - brb shower
  • /f/ - Flash
  • /h/ - h
  • /po/ - Pictures Only
  • /am/ - #AM radio

STUFF

Imageboards

  • /dw/ - Doing it Wrong
  • /g/ - Games
  • /gif/ - Animated Gif
  • /int/ - Intellectual Discussion
  • /os/ - Operating Systems
  • /RAGE/ - RAAAAAAAAGE
  • /smoke/ - Weeds and other Smokeables
  • /wp/ - Wallpapers
  • /x/ - Paranormal

Magic

Hackerboards

711chan Staff

Filled with SAVAGE NEGRO BEAST

Administrators:

File:Lol mod.png
typical 711chan mod

IRC operators:


Moderators:

  • animal - All Boards
  • Dart27 - All Boards
  • grinman - All Boards
  • Howler (huge faggot) - All boards
  • ItsNotLupus - All Boards
  • Legion - All Boards
  • Levo75 - All Boards
  • lolihaetfire - All Boards
  • LolwutPear - All Boards
  • Lulzwhut - All Boards
  • msgmcmuffin - All Boards
  • RoFLKOPTr - All Boards
  • slowbro - All Boards
  • SPARTAAA - All Boards
  • Strus - All Boards
  • Vanadis - /test/, /b/, /RAGE/, /jb/, /g/, /smoke/

711chan Memes

Of the many things disallowed at 711chan, fundip is the most baffling
  • Shut up Sean
  • EVERYDAY I'M HUSTLIN' EVERYDAY I'M HUSTLIN' EVERYDAY I'M HUSTLIN' EVERYDAY I'M HUSTLIN' EVERYDAY I'M HUSTLIN'
  • Tycho has a flashing bar
  • 5
  • I'M READY TO ROCK
  • Planes crash, we laugh
  • apocalypse
  • Oh thank Heaven, for 7/11! - lulzy YouTube of a psychedelic 1960's ad for 7/11. See also: EMBASSY BREAD Not a meme
  • ^^ Now if I understand your problem You have some pains in the head I prescribe a local 711 store for some Aspirin and Embassy Bread
  • A TURTWIG!!!
  • BOB IS BOSS
  • Epic Tortilla Guy
  • gb2 bed howler
  • SAVAGE NEGRO BEAST
  • OCTOFUCKER POTATO CANNON
  • WHERE DA HOOD WHERE DA HOOD WHERE DA HOOD AT
  • GB2/bed/HOWLER
  • MODS=GODS PRINCESSES
  • Schnappi
  • don't be such a LordKaT
  • h

It has also been noted that 711chan is home to some of the lulziest wordfilters on teh interwebz.

711chan 0wned

Last Thursday Plasma decided it would be a great idea to install a random program he received in an email to his goddamn windows installation. I mean, he is only the administrator of the 711chan, a site loved by all and hated by none, who could possibly want to hurt 711chan? So it turned out it was a keylogger sent by a bunch of skiddy Romanians, who then proceeded to own the shit out of 711chan, with more than a little help from Plasma (he forgot about installing the suspicious program, and proceeded to re-enter the servers root password and the password to his fucking backups before removing the keylogger, causing absolute ruination). The reasons for the hacking ended up being that The Regime was all emo cuz the media was reporting on 711chan as hackers during the Chanology debacle, while they were forced to live in their deserved obscurity. There gime suffers from a bad case of unwarranted self importance and delusions of grandeur; they think they are hackers despite the fact that all they can do is keylog people, and seeing as Plasmas dedi was about as fuckable as Swiss cheese, any half competent hacker would have been able to own them, as Kirtaner and ZFO later showed.

Aftermath

Soon after the ownage, g00ns revealed that The Regime were rivals of g00ns, and had only attacked 711chan in order to get to the g00ns. They were far too skiddy to go for the g00ns, seeing as all they can do is keylog people, so they went for 711chan instead. g00ns owned the shit out of them a bit later, and dropped dox on the skiddy faggots.

Script kiddies deface 711chan

Technical difficulties

711chan has built up a reputation for being the worst site on the internet in regards to downtime. In the months after its inception, 711chan would be down for a few days, every other day; Which meant that the downtime would occasionally overlap, leading to black holes forming in the desert, and many people dividing by zero. It went a little bit like this.

  1. 711chan /i/ raids people, and puts up personal info,
  2. Raidees complain to 711chans hosts after some newfag breaks rules 1 + 2,
  3. Hosts null route 711chan,
  4. 711chan admins complain to their hosts hosts,
  5. hosts hosts bitch at the hosts and force them to un-null route 711chan,
  6. wash, rinse and repeat

File:711.png

Thanks for all the fish

WooF will now be known for being the single biggest failure tied to 711chan (some feat). After massive amounts of butthurt and raeg, this happened as of January 10, 2011. File:Thxforalltehfishes.png

-As of 10:00am PST January 11, 2011, 711 is back up thanks to slowbro. Also notice the obvious troll post by Jewlion above Slowbro's. Inside Job anyone? -As of 3:59 AM PST 4/1/2014 711 is back up thanks to parley.

See Also

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