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4Kids

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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4Kids' official disclaimer is printed in the reverse of every show they skin.
You see, they changed the character from a black guy to a white guy because it may cause offense to blacks. Nigga please! Everyone knows black people don't watch anime.

4Kids Entertainment is a publicly owned company based in New York City run by public weeaboo fag enemy #1, and pedophile, Alfred Kahn. Kahn displayed his love for little girls when he claimed, "the [Magical DoReMi] designs are pretty, so they appeal to girls, but they're also very sexy, so the boys like them." He actually said this in a press release. The main reason Kahn is so fat is that though he used to fap to Pokemon (his only form of exercise); he now hires 6 year olds to rub his mouth-watering cock for him.

CEO Al Kahn, as he is pleasured by a third grader. Presumably one of his Little Kahn Urban Achievers.

4kids is a company that butchers imported anime shows to make them Cartoon Network friendly. This means getting rid of all the blacks and changing anything to do with Japan to make it look like it has something to do with the US and A. They have been known to change objects in their cartoons to make them more kid-friendly, such as changing a cigarette to a lolipop, alcohol to power juice and niggers to good old pure whites! As well as editing out Christmas trees for fear of Islam getting all pissed off and bombing the fuck out of America.

The opinion of 4Kids' Ultimate Supreme High Councilor, Emperor Bob Dole, is that the company can get away with this because, and I quote, "children are stupid". We all know Ultimate Supreme High Councilors are never wrong, right kids?

Needless to say, this pisses anime fanboys off to the point of tears as they do not get to hear Goku swear in Dragon Ball Z unless they buy a Japanese uncensored version on eBay.

Contents

Localization

Where did all the titties go!? 4kids promotes homosexuality.

Because people outside of Japan are generally not fucktards, 4kids 'localizes' its anime to get that nasty Japan stink off it, thus being able to actually make some money from it. All Japanese writing is changed to English, Japanese food is changed to good ol' American sandwiches (or donuts), and swear words such as 'Tokyo' and 'Japan' are edited out. Thank you, 4kids!

4Kids is probably most famous for giving their characters additional super special super powers such as voices so grating your ears will go well on toast, and the ability to make jokes so inherently cheesy that Sonic the Hedgehog will leap out of your TV set and proceed to sodomize your cat.

I have it on good authority that this actually happened.

Legacy

4Kids stockholders continue to watch their shares plummet.

4Kids is the single most vile and despicable entity in the worlds using their shitty animation to take shitty anime and somehow make it even shittier. Aside from the aforementioned criminal activities, 4Kids' best work as of 2007 has been Ultimate Muscle - a hilarious parody of American Wrestling where the entire cast of sweaty, half-naked, hairy men would molest each other in extremely painful ways, and often in a cage. Ten-point-seven (Lolwut?) out of ten wrestling fans can't tell the difference.

Internet Relations

There will always be a bitchy whine fest of a rant on LJ or a forum. And some whole websites dedicated to explaining why One Piece is so much better in Japan because the main character drinks beer in a certain scene as opposed to the 4kids version where the main character drinks apple juice. Anime fanboys hate 4kids with a passion. They would kill Al Khan over Osama Bin Laden any day. Fuck, they'd rape their own mothers if it meant that 4kids would leave their precious anime alone.

Raid... FOR GREAT JUSTICE!!!

/b/tards planned a massive raid on the site's forums for great justice. The raid took place on June 13th, 2007. Plans included massive amounts of Rule 34, which may or may not flood /b/ during the raid. The raid was initiated with the sole purpose of 'doing it for the lulz'.

There were no survivors.

More Al Kahn quotes

Al Kahn has gained the ability to never end his constant stream of inaccurate and/or racist statements.

  • "I think the term anime is misleading; I think kids don’t know from whence we cometh. By the time we localize the programs kids don’t even know they’re from Japan any more."
  • "I remember Ninja Turtles, which we do, came from two drunks in um...in Massachusetts." - Actually, this one's is completely true. FUCKING LOOK IT UP, WEEABOOS.
  • "If we can't merchandise it, it really doesn't have a lot of interest for us."
  • "The market for them [uncuts] just isn't as large as the one for the cut version."
  • "My manga comment is...I think manga is a problem. It's a problem because we're in a culture that is not a reading culture. The kids today don't read. They never...they read less today. Every survey...they're watching more television, they're on the Internet more...And manga, in my mind, is trying to put a square...um...y'know, a square peg into a round hole in the United States. It will never be a big deal here. For kids that are into the computer, or the Internet generation. They're not going to read. They haven't read, so they're not gonna start now."
  • "Japan is over....." - The most accurate thing Kahn has ever said to date.
  • "Manga is dying in Japan."

4kids in a nutshell


What's that, 4Kids is the DEVIL?

Last Thursday a kind Pokéfag decided that re-watching his favorite episodes would be a great idea. Little did he know Episode 130 had a special message for us all by none other than James from Pokémon. The scene started off with Team Rocket stealing some Ledyba, and then Ash and co. show up to rescue them. James catches them with a bazooka net, and Team Rocket says some typical crap about catching Pikachu. Team Rocket sends out their Pokémon, and just after Victreebel is sent out and eats James, he says a backwards message. When reversed, it clearly says "Leo Burnett and 4kids are the devil.".

Don't believe it, watch for yourself.

Fake? Listen to the foward copy; It sounds like a scrambled audio.

Toonzai

4kid's genius idea to mash all thier wapanese crap into one big clusterfuck. It's pretty much the same as 4kidstv. All they did was add a re-dubbed version of Dragonball Z, and an even gayer-than-before version of Yu-gi-oh. Oh and they're still airing Sonic X even though that show died like a million years ago. Thanks again 4kids!

Gallery

Gallery4kids About missing Pics

Shows that have fallen victim to 4kids massive cock

External Links

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4Kids is part of a series on

Anime

Visit the Anime Portal for complete coverage.

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4Kids is part of a series on

Television

Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage.

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